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All posts for the month December, 2025

Mail Chastity: The Keys to Keyholding

Posted by Michele on December 29, 2025
Posted in: KeyHolder, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , . 2 comments

Ooo I’m so excited! We got an email recently from one of you lovely keyholders asking some very important questions. I decided to make this another one of the famous “Mail Chastity” posts so that it could be helpful to, not only the person asking, but to the many readers and people out there on the internet looking for the same answers.

So JustUs wrote telling me about how they want to be their best (leading/keyholding) self for their partner which I think is amazing! They feel like it’s becoming a largly chaotic duty without some direction or road map or guidelines to adhere to.

To follow are a bunch of questions I pulled from the email that but the extremely short answer is: it’s your life, do it any damn way you want and no one can tell you which way is the right way – you make the rules! You make this exactly what you want it to be, the way it works for you, your partner and your kinks.

“Should we have a Chastity Contract/Agreement?”
We started out with a contract in the beginning… I don’t know that a formal written contract is necessary for everyone but what I do know is important is shared and agreed upon expectations. What I mean is that you as the keyholders and the person wearing the cage have responsibilities and it’s important that everyone understands what is expected of them from the beginning. When we started it we reviewed our contract or our agreed upon responsibilities often (once a month) as things were going well that interval got longer and longer. As we settled into our lifestyle there was really is no need for that since… It’s just life now.

“Do we need to have punishments and rewards?”
This is 100% up to you. I’m not all about rewards and punishments and stuff like that. I’m simple, follow my rules. You violate the rules, the cage comes off and we are done. I don’t play games, I don’t like bratty bullshit, I don’t find it funny. It’s perfectly fine if people like that and find it cute and want to correct and punish and like that stuff. Please, Don’t get me wrong at all! It’s just not my choice so… The answer is, you choose. Yes, you can make rules and have punishments for when they are broken and rewards for when things are followed or however you want to dole out rewards or you can skip all that. Whatever makes you feel happy and fulfilled as a keyholder.

“Are we going to have daily routines or rituals, schedules?”
Rituals… That kinda reminds me of pro dommes and not a loving lifestyle marriage but that could totally be an aspect of keyholding that you want and that’s OK, again… This is what you make it. As far as routines, yes, I think routines are probably very good to have in the beginning, until things settle in and become more natural. When we started out we had a notebook and we journaled (feelings, what was working, what wasn’t or things that might be tough to say out loud) often – this was a requirement in our contract, certain phrases being spoken, always doing a certain task… Those specific things can help be a reminder and training tool to help set the lifestyle up for success… On both sides.

“I found one woman who had a spreadsheet of all her Caged Cock’s daily tasks.”
Personally, that is entirely too much work… Are you looking for a job or to enjoy your man in chastity? I could never do something like this. To me, this is meant to be enjoyable, exciting, arousing… Not work, not daunting, not something I have to sit around constantly coming up with ideas about and thinking about how I’m going to make it work for him… It needs to work for you… It’s not about him. Now if making spreadsheets is a kink of yours then by all means, open excel and go for it. Just remember, this is for your enjoyment, your pleasure, your attention. This is not for you to spend hours coming up with ideas to make it for his pleasure or even displeasure. Work together in the beginning, come back together a few times to find out what is and isn’t working and reconfigure as you need to but ultimately… This is yours to make your own and create something beautiful for you. Make him work to give you the pleasure, the arousal, the excitement.

“How will we decide when and for how long he will be in or out of the cage?”
You decide – 5 min, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years! It’s all up to you… No one can tell you the answer to this. Obviously, at first it will come down to wearablility of the cage, how you want to do this, is it a lifestyle? A weekend thing? A bedroom game? Do you want to be in control all the time? Sometimes? Have the key? Give a girlfriend the key? Offloading the decision making can take pressure off but also take away some of your control. Rolling dice to decide a length of time isn’t you deciding but some people have a hard time telling their spouse No, you can’t be unlocked. Or, you have to be locked for a certain amount of time so they let something else decide. Overall, you are still in control because you are deciding what you want to control and what you choose not to… Letting dice or a wheel spin or punishment or reward decide is still controlling and still making your keyholding and chastity journey your own.

**which BTW I don’t think your AI dice game was a waste! I think it’s great to research and find ways like that to help along the way when you might need it! Use it, whenever you feel you want to… No right or wrong – you make the rules!

“I’m sure I’m completely overthinking this. I’d love to hear any words of wisdom, advice, relatable experiences, or helpful resources that might help me get out of my head and just enjoy this new adventure.“
Yes, lol you’re totally overthinking this… But aren’t we always?? 😂

I hope somewhere in here I was able to help you out and give you some good advice! Check out Episode 3 of our podcast. It’s about praise and reassurance and it’s just me talking to other keyholders and who knows, it might be helpful! Also, the Mistress Ivey books are a great resource… Take what you can use and leave what you will… As much as I love the work she did I disagree with it being presented as the one and only way you should be doing things. There is no should… Only could, because this life is yours and your partners and it needs to be by you, for you.

Good luck to you both and please come check in with us and let us know how things are going and what things are working for you!

Merry Christmas!

Posted by Michele on December 25, 2025
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , . Leave a Comment

Hello darlings!

I wanted to take a moment on this happy day to tell you all Merry Christmas. I cant tell you enough how happy I am to be back writing to you all, sharing our life with you and enjoying our exciting times and even the not so exciting ones! That has been a true gift this last few months. Thank you for still being here, for still reading and enjoying this journey with us.

It’s been a really wonderful day. It’s the first time cagedmonkey, John and I have spent Christmas together and it’s been very enjoyable. I think the kids are having a great day too and both seemed to really like their gifts. Christmas sure is different now that we have older/adult children.

We’ve had lots of yummy food and decorated cookies and even plan to play some Uno and other family games after dinner!

I hope that you all have had a wonderful Christmas and your weekend to come is nice and relaxing… Don’t get up to anything too naughty!

All our love, until next time

M

So This Is What “What If” Looks Like

Posted by Michele on December 21, 2025
Posted in: Cuckold, Ethical NonMonogamy (ENM), Threesome. Tagged: , , , . Leave a Comment

I wanted to chat about the first time the three of us were together, sexually… Mostly because I know a lot of you want to hear the juicy deets! (do people still say that word.? Lol) I do think it’s important for you to hear about how we got to that point. You know we like to keep the “real life” aspect of this blog so that’s what you all will get. In real life you don’t just hop in bed with two men for the first time and do all kinds of sexy stuff.
Since you all are blessed with having all three of us write on this blog, I’m hoping the guys will come and give their thoughts on this, as well. I can only give you my point of view, obviously!


When we started all this I remember the three of us talking a lot. You guys know how much we have talked in the past about the importance of communication. It really is the most basic and fundamental part of any relationship, even one like this. Of course our conversations took a turn to a sexual nature, how could they not? I can remember talking (I guess you could call it fantasizing) about cuckolding – in a lot of different ways. We talked about forced voyeurism, where we would tie cagedmonkey to a chair and force him to watch, while John and I had sex. I started telling the boys about a fantasy I wanted to fulfill. I had always thought about having sex doggy style, over top of someone’s face. The thought of our sex dripping down onto and being rubbed onto someone’s face while they eagerly waited to clean up the mess that was inevitable. Ok, writing this is getting me thinking about it and  it’s making me quiver.

Anyway, I know you’re waiting to hear how the three of us ran immediately to the bedroom, stripped naked and got in position, right? You’re thinking John standing behind my big beautiful round ass and my husband waiting beneath the two of us… Just watching as his cock about to slide in my wet, waiting pussy. Ok well I hate to break it to you but it wasn’t really like that. Yes, at some point we went to bed, all in the same bed, and yes the three of us all got naked.

However, nothing happened immediately. We talked some, I  touched them some and we talked more. I got out my keys, for both guys, and let them both out so we could play, freely, if it felt right. We talked about things we COULD do and things that sounded hot. Mostly we talked about how we would all feel if one or the other were to be having sex with me in front of the other? We talked about how I was going to need to be worked up and made ready for sex. So… I had each of the guys take turns licking my pussy which was very new for me and yes kinda awkward! We made sure to check in to see if we were still all ok, throughout.

After a bit more talking, I guided cagedmonkey up on top of me, missionary, and allowed him to slide his big cock inside me. One of the other things we had talked about in general was having a “clean up toy” or basically someone to clean up the sex, and that’s exactly what happened that night. Hubby and I had sex, John basically watched, he and I kissed, touched, I stroked his cock and then as a reward for being so good he got to clean up the mess. It felt awesome, amazing, insane, scary, and even nervewracking all at once!

None of it was perfect like you’d see in a porn film. In fact it was probably pretty awkward to watch lol. I know I was very worried that I made a mistake with both guys and they both would be upset with me. Oh I had so much going through my head after… That can be another post about mental health on its own but in the moment it felt all kinds of things but good trumped them all. We all did good aftercare, we checked in with each other as a group and individually, multiple times.

The most important thing to remember here is that this all may not go exactly as anyone plans but you really do just need to communicate and things can still turn out good.


If you made it this far, I can’t wait to tell you how much things have changed and how some things haven’t!


Until then, thanks for reading!

OwnedSubJohn – About me

Posted by OwnedsubJohn on December 19, 2025
Posted in: Male Chastity, Submissive. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

It is time for an introduction. I started a long post about how we got where we are today. Then, I decided that can wait, first I should give you an idea of who I am.

If I had to choose a single word to define myself, it would be submissive. This is not a phase and not a bedroom preference. It is who I am at my core. I have known that I was meant to be submissive since I was a teenager (and that was a very, very long time ago). In many areas of my life, I am strong and capable. I make decisions, I take responsibility, and I lead when necessary. And still, when it comes to Michele, I surrender completely. That surrender does not diminish me. It centers me and gives me purpose.

I live the BDSM lifestyle. I am owned by Michele. This is not something we role play or visit when it feels exciting. There are no scenes. No timeouts. No pretending. This is twenty four hours a day, three hundred sixty five days a year, woven into how I wake up, how I move through the day, and how I go to sleep.

As you can see in my avatar I am collared all the time. Not only symbolically, but also literally. And I wear a cage on my cock, always, but you probably already figured that out. These are not accessories or occasional reminders. They shape how I think, how I feel, and how I exist. They remind me of who I belong to and who I am. They are a part of me.

There is a lot more to me that I’m sure we will get into over time and throughout our upcoming posts, such as the fact that I am a masochist. Pain gives me strength. I am energized by pain. Not any pain, but pain given to me by Michele. I need to receive this from her as much as she needs to give it to me. We fit perfectly.

Pain gives me strength

I am also a slut. I like being used. Sexually and otherwise. I love to serve Michele in any way she desires. Sometimes by giving her a mind blowing orgasm (often more than one) or by doing the dishes or putting away the laundry. It is all satisfying to me. At times she likes to have me do things to entertain her or just keep us connected. Sometimes it is to remind me that I am hers. Sometimes it is simply to keep us connected. Whatever the reason, I do it willingly and happily.

None of this is small to me. Every act, intimate or ordinary, feeds the same need. To serve. To please. To be useful. To submit.

This is who I am. As I said, there is a lot more, the rest of the story will come, no idea if I will. 🙂

Please comment or email if you would like to know more before my next post.

John

Thankful for 6 Weeks Post-op

Posted by Michele on December 17, 2025
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , . Leave a Comment

Hoping you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! This year John was here with hubby and I, and the kids. We had dinner as a family at home. It turned out to be a great day and weekend.

We did not get up to any kinky fun together as I am still recovering. Though, I have to say, I think I’m doing quit well. I just had my 6 week post-op appt it went good! All of my restrictions are lifted. But I still have to ease back into things. Just because I CAN do all the things doesn’t mean I can do ALL of all the things. So I can do a little, then a little more and a little more. I need to pay attention to my hip, it’ll let me know when it’s had too much (yes it does lol).

Doc wanted to start me on PT with an actual therapist because my leg muscle is still weak and hurting but I talked him into letting me continue to work on it myself. If it’s not completely better when I see him in the spring or I’m feeling like I need it before then we will go to real PT.

I just think with my other health issues, it’ll take longer so I’ll be ok in time. I’m just happy I can drive and walk and bend and do things I want to do.

I can’t wait to drive to Walmart and go shopping and take a walk outside in my neighborhood! 😁