4 comments on “Locked vs. Unlocked: The Great Debate

  1. I just wanted to touch on the “locked vs unlocked” thing because it’s one of my pet peeves. Not you or you post – it’s that whenever the concept come up, there is invariably an argument about which is better or more “real.” My contention is that anyone arguing about it misses the point: they are two completely different kinks.

    And I totally agree with the idea of taking breaks. Mrs. Edge and I like to switch things up, or else we’d get just as bored.

    Anyway, I added you to my personal blogroll. I’m looking forward to some good posts by the both of you.

    • Thanks Tom! I think that was the point cm was making is that they are two totally different things each having their own emotions and excitement attached! 🙂 not that one is better than the other just much different feelings happening!

  2. We’ve had some outside pressures that have prevented us from playing a lot lately. I think we both enjoy the Femdom sex play when we “can”. I agree it is nice to switch back and forth from vanilla to kinky.

    With respect to “locked” vs. “unlocked”: I think locking me up is just more of my fantasy than hers. She decided on a “rule” that I would be locked only when we are apart (which is very rare), but when those rare times comes up she doesn’t enforce it and I don’t want to “top from the bottom” by suggesting it. It’s hard being a sub sometimes 😛

    When locked, I become too needy for her. I want her to tease me about holding the key and having this power over me. Things like texting me photos of the key (often in her bra), making double entendres about keys and locks, and teasing me about throwing the key away. And I want to play sexually every night (with her coming of course). I think that she just isn’t interested in that, or “maintenance” is too overwhelming for her. For me anyway, it’s not simply a matter of her holding a key, but it is an attitude of dominance otherwise I get quickly bored and feel lonely. I have blogged a good deal about needing a quality erection pretty regularly for my self esteem.

    She prefers me unlocked because she likes seeing and feeling my physical desire for her. It is an erotic thing for her to be completely sexually satisfied and for my erection/desire to simply fade away because she controls my release, or for her to feel my erection poking her as she drifts to sleep. The absolute BEST way for me to be denied is when I gain access to her but she tells me not to come, and then I am forced to hold back knowing if I let loose she would be really disappointed. Very hot when I have her juices all over my cock but only she has come. That’s why I am not locked much ~ she likes knowing how much I want her.

    • It was difficult for me to avoid the “top from the bottom” situation when we first started, as well. With good communication and trust, I was able to give control over to My Lady and truly submit to her by giving up my fantasies and preconceived notions of chastity.

      I also have the problem of feeling bored and lonely when ignored. However, for ML and me, chastity does not equal the absence of sex or intimacy. It actually enhances it! When I’m locked, it increases the desire for both of us; snot only do I miss my much valued erections, but she also misses the physical display of my need and desire for her. The throbbing flesh of her cock pressing through the bars is usually a good indication of how much I want her, though. 🙂

      One other comment I wanted to make: ML and I use both chastity and T&D as separate tools for her to exercise her control over me. Sometimes she will leave me locked 24/7 for days at a time. Other times she will let me out for regular teasings. In both cases I’m denied orgasm, the goal being to increase my desire until I’m near insane with need. If this is the type of “chastity schedule” you guys follow… as long as it works for you, then it’s great. You aren’t “doing it wrong” if you aren’t being locked up all day every day for months and months. If it’s what you guys want, then you are doing it right.

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