Kinky and we have children

All posts tagged Kinky and we have children

My dynamic with cagedmonkey has always been built on communication. That is fundamentally what all relationships should be built on. During our journey, cagedmonkey and I have had previous conversations talking about pseudo-cuckolding and “my boyfriend” (who happened to be a decent sized dildo). We’d never talked seriously about adding a real life someone, as a matter of fact we’d talked about the opposite. Life, however, has a way of reminding you that things change in ways you could never expect.

It’s almost comedic, isn’t it? Something we were pretty much against has become an important part of our relationship. This was entirely new territory. It was scary, for me! I think it was scary for all of us but you’ll have to ask them yourself! (Feel free to comment!) The whole thing required conversations… endless, rigorous conversations. We had to work through boundaries, logistics, and yes, the inevitable human kinks like, insecurities. But we committed to finding a dynamic that worked for all three of us, built on the non-negotiable principle of honesty and respect. It wasn’t always smooth… it ISN’T always smooth. Everyday we continue to work out the rough spots but thats just how this goes. 

I’m sure you’re dying to know the who, the what, the where, when and all that stuff so I wont leave you waiting any more! This all began back in 2014 on a male chastity forum, driven by a simple, shared common interest. John and I were both moderators there in that little corner of the digital world. For years, our interactions were sporadic – polite banter between two people who fundamentally understood this lifestyle. We spent around 8 years building a foundation of friendship from a distance with the occasional check in emails to find out how each other and our families were doing. It was always great to hear from him. But time is merely a tool for the powerful, and as 2022 rolled in, the tool started working overtime.

Suddenly, our conversations shifted focus. the pleasantries faded, and the core of what we both desired came into view: control. We started discussing his lock, the key that needed to be mine, and the control he needed and I thrived on. Things accelerated quickly, feelings grew bigger than anyone ever expected and just like that, I didn’t just have a long-distance friend; I had a new, devoted partner. A boyfriend who is now, quite rightly, locked in chastity 24/7 under my command,, among other things. 😜

With the newly decided polyamorous relationship that cagedmonkey, John and I were working on establishing came the need to explain to the children how there would be another man visiting and sleeping in mom and dads room. 🙂  Once the adult foundation was solid, I sat down with my kids who were 14 and 17 at the time – old enough to understand that the world is complex, and savvy enough to know that alternative lifestyles exist. I approached them with the confidence of a woman who knows her truth.
I was very blunt and got right to it, asking:
“What do you know about polyamory?”

They offered a general, acceptable answer. The younger had a basic idea of what it was and the older knew just what I was talking about because she is Poly herself.

“Good, I’m glad you understand. Because Dad and I are evolving our lifestyle. I will have a boyfriend. We are adding love to our family.”
And their response? Pure, unadulterated acceptance.

“Cool! When do we get to meet him?”

No drama. No fear. Just curiosity and support. I believe this is the result of raising children in an environment of total transparency. They don’t shrink from their mother’s strength; they salute it.
The relationship between cagedmonkey, John, and me is one of negotiation, emotional intelligence, and relentless commitment. It’s built on three unique sets of needs, all working toward a shared success. It’s not “conventional,” but since when has Madam Allure ever aimed for conventional? 🙂
Sometimes, the most exquisite things start with a random connection and bloom into a beautifully complex reality that is entirely, unapologetically ours. And sometimes, your children simply remind you that living your truth is the ultimate act of power.