In Real Life

No Time For a Title

Posted by Michele on October 17, 2015
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Recently I’ve noticed I have been feeling off and unsettled about our tease and torture and our D/s side of things because there isn’t much. I feel so busy lately and unorganized because, even after a month here, the OCD side of me is uneasy. Things aren’t just where I want them, days don’t go exactly as planned… I admit I’m a control freak and I feel like all the little things added up mean I have no control. It’s weird, I know, but there is so much I want to accomplish and so much I’d like to do – in regular vanilla life as well as our sexual, kinky, intimate one but I never seem to have enough time to do it.

Flipping our schedule around after soooooo many years is a lot harder to adjust to and still, things are changing! We recently found out that homeschool kids here in our new state are allowed to take a couple classes in the public school and that the school offers homeschool kids all the curriculum and textbooks, etc that the kids are using in public school. So we have begun looking into getting our daughter into a couple classes a day at school so I could have an hour or so to myself on weekdays. I’ve actually considered the fact that she may do well and like it and want to actually try going full days at some point… Which has me thinking stupid and emotional for all kinds of dumb reasons. I’m excited that that might happen but scared and anxious over it too.

All of these things with kids activities (it’s our son’s team won their 2nd round of playoffs for football today! They are off to the Superbowl!), school, errands and all that has left me with little time to get the rest of the boxes unpacked or taken over to our storage unit. Which I just got the other day because there is no storage here at the house and we can’t even get in our closets because we’ve tried to pack everything in there. Let alone having room to set up and use our sex toys! Haha

That’s been another struggle. I have no room to set things up which, with the little time we have, needs to be done before we can play. We don’t have time to set things up at night when we want to use them and then play and put it away after, etc. Anyway, excuses excuses! I really want to get our room set up in a better way, get the boxes and bins of decorations and stuff put away so we have room to actually play. I want to get a rug for the floor so we are able to set up the stockade. Really, can you see my dilemma? There is so much I want to do and so little time to get things done. Which is why I actually think having my daughter gone for an hour or so a day might be good so that I can do some of the things I want to do.

With all of this stuff I want to get done and feeling like I never have time for any of it, I find myself doubting my ability. Doubting if I’m a good mom, a good wife, a good teacher, etc. I start getting anxious and worrying if I’m keeping my hubby satisfied. Does he know how much I love and adore him and that I find him incredibly sexy? I start to worry if I’m teasing him enough, if I am good enough for him, pretty enough for him, sexy enough for him. My mind races and races in 90 directions of stupid. When I’m not in control, I worry and I am not liking the ups and downs and changes and the lack of flow!

Another note for you all is that we found we really like it here and we have talked about and started looking into sticking in some roots. That means we put the wheels in motion to either buy or build a house! That in itself is scary and exciting!

Ok I think I’ve caught you guys up on my anxiety and my crazy and what’s going on in our lives!

How are you all doing these days?

In da Hood

Posted by Michele on October 9, 2015
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Awhile back I ordered a new leather locking bondage hood. It finally came in the mail yesterday. I’m not exactly sure how good it will be or how well we will like it. First of all, I’m not at all fond of the look of it. I love that it locks though, that part has potential! It also laces up and ties along the whole back of the skull so there really is no taking the hood off once it is tied, buckled and/or locked on.
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It was advertised as a “sensory deprivation” hood but sound is merely muffled and there is quite a bit of light let in. He did say the nose holes were good and he could breathe easily but that it gets awfully hot and sweaty inside the hood. He only tried it on for a few minutes and was already sweating. That isn’t the biggest deal because he gets sweaty lots of times when I have him in some kind of bondage, torturing him.

We do have a lot more to try out with this hood. It’s actual use might be better than our initial reaction but I did want to post about it anyway, so I didn’t forget! I’m sure I’ll have cagedmonkey post the use review of this hood since he will be the one in it while I tease and torture him. Plus, it’s been awhile since we’ve had new toys to play with!

It’s So Hard

Posted by Michele on September 20, 2015
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It’s been almost 10 years since cagedmonkey has had a regular day shift schedule. He has worked so hard to provide for our family. He has made me so proud to be his wife and the mother of his children. We made the choice together, 10 years ago, that I was going to stay home with the kids (at the time it was just one). Which meant we needed more money from his income to survive. That meant going to an off shift for the differential pay. We knew it was temporary but we never expected temporary to last 10 years lol. Over that time hubby has put so much into his job, went to school for some extra letters after his name and busted ass to become supervisor ready. Then the job he was at for 12years let him down and we ultimately moved here to West Virginia. Which, by the way, is beautiful and we really do like it here!

I never knew, after 10 years, how conditioned I was that I put the kids to bed and Yay! I have a few minutes to spend with hubby before he goes to work. He’s been off that schedule for about a month now, you would think it would go away by now but, still, every night I have to remind myself… I have ALL night with him. I actually get to sleep in bed with him every night. We go to bed together, we hold each other (most of the night unless it’s too hot LoL), we wake up together. It truly is something I feel others might take for granted. I cannot even begin to express that feeling of relief I get every night when I realize, “oh! He doesn’t have to go to work tonight.” And yes, I still get it every night! It’s weird!

The other thing that’s been so hard to adjust to with this whole day shift thing is just how much I miss the man I love. When he was working nights we chatted in text messages through half the night and then I’d fall asleep. I sure missed him but half the time he was gone I was sleeping. During my awake time he was sleeping but I still had access to him. 🙂 it’s so different now that he’s working and we are awake and asleep at the same times. I feel like I miss him much more now when I only get a text or two at his breaks and lunches. I know I will get used to it, it’s only been a week. Trust me that I appreciate that it’s something I have to get used to. He has worked hard to get to this spot and we, as a couple and a family, have been through a lot to get here too. I love the place we are in. I love the relationship we have now, the intimacy level and the communication between us has never been better. Not to mention the amazing, awesome, kinky sex we have! 🙂

I really want to thank our readers for being a part of this with us. It’s so fun to have met some amazing friends who we can totally be ourselves with. We love the questions we get and the conversations we have but more than that I think we really appreciate the love and support our new friends have offered!

Wild, Wonderful West Virginia!

Posted by JonMustWait on August 29, 2015
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We made it to our new home! It only took a near exhaustion-level physical effort to load the truck, two days of travel, and a crazy unloading session, but we made it!

Rather than going through a minute-by-minute rundown (how exciting can an out-of-state move be?), here’s just a few highlights and details to share.

1. The guys who loaded our stuff uni the truck were complete morons! They loaded heavy stuff on top of light stuff, they put our TV boxes in sideways (clearly marked “this side up” for those who can read), and some of our stuff ended up smashed or spilled out inside the truck (more on that later). The stuff we loaded ourselves was sturdier than the stuff loaded by the “professionals.”

2. The stuff that spilled out into the truck? One of those tubs was the tub filled with our bondage toys! Some stacks of tubs toppled over as the unloaded were removing stuff from the truck, and out spills the leather bondage sack, the fuck machine, cuffs, fake rubber cocks, etc. Luckily, none of the unloadeders saw any of this as far as I know; I was able to stuff everything back in and pop the lid back on before our dirty secret was out.

3. We met the neighbors who live in a separate house that is also on the lot. And what would be the name of the woman who lives there? No joke… “Chastity.” 🙂

Now that we’ve got the Wi-Fi hooked up, we are officially back!

It’s Not All Fun and Kinky Games

Posted by Michele on August 14, 2015
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When I woke up this morning I never expected my day to go so bad. I started my day and as I went along I could feel my chest and throat felt tight. I could breathe but swallowing felt really tight. My chest and ribs also had this sensation of vibrating, jittery and shaking inside. My brain was so foggy I was having trouble thinking and focusing. As the day went on my chest and throat got tighter and the shaking in my chest was really strong. I even texted Mistress Marie to chat about my anxiety and that helped it for a little bit but it didn’t hold out.

My anxiety was in high gear. I’ve been stressed out with packing the house, I was becoming depressed and full of anxiety, worry and fear. Fear that I’ll never get it all packed up and ready to go when the truck is here to be loaded. The anxiety has been hanging around for a couple days now but today it really peaked and feeling my anxiety physically like that pushed me into a full on panic attack. I was having trouble breathing, my hands started shaking, I couldn’t think. I felt numb in that moment. I knew the feeling I was having, the feeling of my throat closing, that super tight chest that really makes you feel like your having a heart attack, so strong that it makes me nauseous. I knew it was a panic attack.
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I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t do this alone. So, not too alarm the kids I quietly got up, went to the kitchen to find my anti-anxiety meds and took one. Then I calmly walked down the hallway and woke hubby. The second he looked at me he knew something was wrong. I simply and very quietly asked him “could you please get up early and take care of the kids, I’m having a panic attack. I just took meds and just need to lay down.” Before getting up he just held me as my body shook and I cried in his arms.

Cagedmonkey has been through this with me before – when I didn’t know what they were. I used to have them often. It has been probably 11 years since I’ve had this kind of panic attack. We knew how to get me grounded again and let the meds kick in. I’m so incredibly blessed to have a hubby who loves me even though I’m broken. I’m not without imperfections but he doesn’t even see them and in fact loves me for them. Today I took a healthy step in going to him and asking for help. It’s not something I would have done before, I would have held it in and tried dealing with it on my own. I would have fallen into a deep depression. I love that we have a love and a trust with one another that we can come to each other with this kind of stuff and any kind of stuff.

Today I thank God for an amazing husband who is my hero. Thank you baby for being my strength when I’m weak.
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Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Posted by Michele on August 12, 2015
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Ok well maybe not signed, though someone did ask! 🙂 haha It was like a flash of light that we had the Jail Bird for sale and then it was sold. A nice gentlemen in Utah purchased the Jail Bird, which I found interesting. Last year at Christmas time we sold our Queens Keep device and it was also a guy in Utah that bought that one – not the same one though! 🙂 Hmmm who’s got all these guys in Utah with locked up cocks?

I want to thank our buyer for a great, smooth transaction. The device was shipped USPS Priority Mail with taking and insurance and he should receive it on Friday. I do hope it turns out to be a great fit and that you enjoy being locked up for a long time! Haha

Sorry to those who missed out! I’ll let you know if we are ever selling any other devices!

Our new Jail Bird with the extra cage ring and bigger diameter has already been ordered and now we wait! As timing has it, it will likely be a nice new gift for our new home in West Virginia.

Selling the New Jail Bird

Posted by Michele on August 9, 2015
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Wow! I didn’t expect to have such a big response, so quickly, for the new Jail Bird. Since I’ve gotten so many emails and comments requesting the selling information, I wanted to take a second and just post it here publicly to answer everyone at once!
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So, yes, we are selling the new Mature Metal Jail Bird device. It has only been worn/tried on for a couple days. It will be clean and sterilized before it is sent and the selling price will include shipping in the US. This will be just like ordering the device from Mature Metal themselves but without paying for the rushed build time. Mature Metal always guarantees their handmade devices and will always make adjustments* even if you are not the original purchaser.
*Please note: sizing adjustments do require a fee.
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Retail cost:
Jail Bird device – $320
Extra Cage Ring – $80
Double Base Ring (threaded) – $50
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This device’s post is threaded for the security screw however it does NOT come with the screws. You can use either a lock or screws if you already have them. You could also purchase a set of screws and security screw keys* from Mature Metal for $65 + shipping. *Please note: Mistress MM will contact me to confirm that the purchaser has not received screws/keys with the device before they will mail you out a set. If you need a different sized Double Base Ring those run $95 + shipping because the Double Base rings CANNOT be resized.

I am selling this device so that we are able to reorder one with the correct inside diameter for cagedmonkey. That means I’m hoping to get back most of what I spent on it, especially since it’s pratically a brand new device.

I am listing this at $400 currently, if you are interested, please send me an email here. I will accept only Pay Pal for payment and will ship 2-3 day Priority Mail within a day, usually, after payment has cleared – provided we are not in the middle of moving! 🙂

He Knows Just What I Need

Posted by Michele on August 8, 2015
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I have been very stressed out with all of this moving stuff and trying to pack while still taking care of the kids and the house and functioning in this living space. Not to mention the kid with the medical issues having bigger issues this past week. Then the “normal” kid is having behavior issues, likely because of the move. I have a lot on me and my patience wears thin very quickly these days.

Yesterday, by the afternoon, I had lost all patience and was getting more and more irritable with things. As I said, the medical stuff was crazy and I just started to lose it. Cagedmonkey heard me starting to get very frustrated while he was trying to sleep in the bedroom and asked if I needed him to wake up. Normally, I would say no but I’m trying to change my “I don’t need help” way about myself and actually admit that there are times I need help. So I told him yes, I did want him to get up, even if it was just to take on some of the craziness with the kids.

Just before coming out of the bedroom, I was texting him telling him how frustrated I was and he texted me back and said, “Would you like to come here and take some of that out on my butt before I get up?”

Really?!?!

I love how he knows just what I need! I didn’t even text back, I ran down the hallway with a big smile on my face, went in the bedroom and spanked his sexy little ass for each of my frustrations.

My subby hubby is so amazing and this whole D/s and FLM thing is great because I get to take back my power and control with the help of my wonderful hubby when I feel like it’s been stripped away by the craziness of everyday life.

Forever in Our Hearts and Never Forgotten

Posted by Michele on August 1, 2015
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , . 10 comments

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I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this post all day. Last year, cagedmonkey was the one who wrote for me when I couldn’t. This morning we got the phone call that his mother has passed away. It’s been a sad day but a day of relief as well. His mom was not doing well the past couple of months. We’ve been traveling a bit to NYC recently knowing that she was not well.

She’s no longer in pain and no longer suffering through her days barely functioning. She’s in a much better place, with God and we are all happier for that. She was a great little lady with a lot of love that she gave so freely. We will certainly miss her craziness! 🙂

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Thank you to those who have already shared their condolences, we appreciate it more than you know. We do have to travel again now to be with our family so there will likely be a bit of a quiet here with the blog. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we’ve just up and disappeared! We’d never do that!

Cagedmonkey Inked Again

Posted by Michele on July 30, 2015
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: . 1 comment

Right now cagedmonkey is getting his entire back tattooed and I’m sitting here watching. It’s a pretty involved tattoo but it has a lot of meaning for him in particular. It’s something he put together and he’s wanted for a long time. I’m proud of him for going through with this and getting this tattoo.
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Granted this particular design has much more meaning for him personally than it does me, or anyone else for that matter, but I still love the meaning. Just like our chastity Lock and Key tattoos mean so very much to us or our matching cross tattoos. Each of those mean something to us both and to us individually.
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Anyway… Not sure how much playtime there will be the next few days but I’m sure whatever there is we will certainly write about it. Last night was quite a lovely night but it deserves it’s very own post! 🙂