When I woke up this morning I never expected my day to go so bad. I started my day and as I went along I could feel my chest and throat felt tight. I could breathe but swallowing felt really tight. My chest and ribs also had this sensation of vibrating, jittery and shaking inside. My brain was so foggy I was having trouble thinking and focusing. As the day went on my chest and throat got tighter and the shaking in my chest was really strong. I even texted Mistress Marie to chat about my anxiety and that helped it for a little bit but it didn’t hold out.
My anxiety was in high gear. I’ve been stressed out with packing the house, I was becoming depressed and full of anxiety, worry and fear. Fear that I’ll never get it all packed up and ready to go when the truck is here to be loaded. The anxiety has been hanging around for a couple days now but today it really peaked and feeling my anxiety physically like that pushed me into a full on panic attack. I was having trouble breathing, my hands started shaking, I couldn’t think. I felt numb in that moment. I knew the feeling I was having, the feeling of my throat closing, that super tight chest that really makes you feel like your having a heart attack, so strong that it makes me nauseous. I knew it was a panic attack.
I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t do this alone. So, not too alarm the kids I quietly got up, went to the kitchen to find my anti-anxiety meds and took one. Then I calmly walked down the hallway and woke hubby. The second he looked at me he knew something was wrong. I simply and very quietly asked him “could you please get up early and take care of the kids, I’m having a panic attack. I just took meds and just need to lay down.” Before getting up he just held me as my body shook and I cried in his arms.
Cagedmonkey has been through this with me before – when I didn’t know what they were. I used to have them often. It has been probably 11 years since I’ve had this kind of panic attack. We knew how to get me grounded again and let the meds kick in. I’m so incredibly blessed to have a hubby who loves me even though I’m broken. I’m not without imperfections but he doesn’t even see them and in fact loves me for them. Today I took a healthy step in going to him and asking for help. It’s not something I would have done before, I would have held it in and tried dealing with it on my own. I would have fallen into a deep depression. I love that we have a love and a trust with one another that we can come to each other with this kind of stuff and any kind of stuff.
Today I thank God for an amazing husband who is my hero. Thank you baby for being my strength when I’m weak.
Hugs, I glad CM was there to catch you and provide you the support you needed. Take care of yourself.
Thank you! I’ll be much better after the truck packed and the apt is empty… Then I’ll have relief that I did it.
Suffering from depression and sometimes panic attacks on my own I can only say you are right about the healthiness of seeking help from cagedmonkey. You can be proud of yourself and I hope that you have a long period without this attacks coming along!
Thanks so much for your comment. It’s not easy for me to ask for help with anything but I was very proud of me.
You should be! And your husband should be, too.
Thumbs up!
I was proud of you for reaching out to me. I love that you now turn to me even when things aren’t going great because I love ya the way you are, broken bits and all ;). And so glad you turned to CM when it got worse and woke him up. You have come a long way and should be proud.
Hi LadyM
Sorry you had such a horrible attack, hope you are feeling better now.
Your description makes me wonder if Mistress R had something similar a while back…
Best wishes
Robert Anthony