When we first started out in male chastity and embracing a bit more of the wife led marriage I had no clue what this “service” thing would be… I don’t want to be “serviced,” I’m not a car, I don’t need an oil change!
I really had no idea what that phrase even meant. So over the course of this journey I’ve been reading other blogs and websites about chastity and wife led marriage or female led relationship (whichever you choose). It’s been interesting and has given me ideas to try and mainly I try things to see if I like them… not so much hubby. What we have come to find out is that we often think very much alike and enjoy the same things. Part of this whole control thing, this chastity thing, this wife led marriage thing has been exploring what I enjoy sexually and non-sexually. Whatever those things happen to be, when they come up, are the things that cagedmonkey can then “service” me with. I’ve found that no two wives or Keyholders can be serviced exactly the same. It really comes down to trying things and seeing how your mind and body respond. If you like it you keep doing it, if you aren’t sure, you try it again another time and if you really didn’t like it you don’t have to do it again. The thing is, you won’t know what you enjoy unless you try and knowing what tickles your arousal makes directing your hubby or partner to serve you that much better. Just going about it the same old way you went about your vanilla sex life makes it much harder and it also makes this journey lose it’s appeal that much faster. I’m all about keeping things fresh, new and interesting.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, I know I am a dominant person but never was I aroused by being dominant. I did not connect sexual energy with my natural dominance. I actually was turned off by the thought that someone would enjoy making someone clean, cook and/or wait on them hand and foot. Once I started to research the whole FLR/WLM I started reading about the sexual side of it. What I did kinda get was the dominance in the bedroom. I’ve always been pretty dominant there and loved the whole teasing thing so that really was nothing new. I understand the desire to be told what to do and how to do it and controlling another person’s sexual pleasure. Especially a big strong alpha male being tied up, ordered around and even spanked by a seemingly lesser female. Now we know that those are all looks on the outside but behind closed doors we know who really “wears the pants” in our relationships! 😉
The thing I had the most trouble with was how cagedmonkey could possibly “serve” me other than orally and, honestly, I really wasn’t all into oralsex that much. It was just too much work! I always felt pressured to have an orgasm so he knew he was doing a good job – which he was, he’s always pleased me so well in that area! It really wasnt enjoyable to feel like I had to perform. Oh and not being “fresh” and worrying about smell or not having hair trimmed just right… all that stuff makes it so hard to enjoy oral for a woman! I’ve noticed over time and with him desiring control of being told what to do that feeling has evolved for me as well in all this, I know now that I can sit back and enjoy a good pussy worship and not be required to cum unless I want or need to. I can just enjoy the fact that I’m being kissed, licked and sucked in all the right places. The greatest part is knowing that I can use my words to tell cagedmonkey what a “good boy” he is and how I love when he does this, that, or the other thing and praise him verbally to give him that “I’m doing a good job for her” feeling.
It’s really taken a lot of exploration, trial and error to find even a few things I love that he can service me with. We’d taken a few showers together in our relationship but over this past summer that picked up and it wasn’t until recently that I realized I really loved the shower time with him. I love him washing my body and especially my hair. I love seeing the smile on his face when he puts the body wash on my loofa and starts to rub it all over me. Oh boy and when he washes my hair! I love when he uses his fingertips to rub, scrub and massage my scalp. It makes me just tip my head back and just feel everything as he moves his hands through my hair! I just love when he runs his fingers through my hair or rubs my head anyway so washing it is a big bonus.
Another thing I’ve found that I really enjoy is the full body massages. I used to feel bad about asking for anything like that but I realize now (through lots of communication) that he enjoys doing those things for me and wants to make me feel good, to hear me moan in delight, no matter what he’s doing for me. Throughout our relationship cagedmonkey has, a few times, licked and sucked my toes. It was cute and yeah it felt good but it was also kinda ewwww and felt dirty. Since we both feel embracing my dominant role in our marriage is a good thing this has become another thing I really enjoy. Of course I prefer when my feet are clean and cleaning them can totally become part of the foot worship too. I do enjoy the kissing, licking and tongue massaging of my legs as well! 🙂
I guess what I’m ultimately getting at is if you are ever going to know how your man can truly “service” you, you have to be willing to try and explore new things. Perhaps even be willing to talk about things with your partner to find out why others might find those things exciting or arousing. You might even find that you start to get aroused thinking or talking about it.