Wife Led Marriage

Mail Chastity: How to Become A Good Keyholder

Posted by Lady M on November 26, 2019
Posted in: Advice, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

I received a message from another keyholder on chastityforums.com. She is a bit new to all this, in general, and is struggling with how to be a KH and a good one at that. So here is a bit of what she wrote and my response.

“My ‘vanilla self’ is constantly fighting with ‘the KH self’ I’m sure [my hubby] would like me to become. I’m not even sure how to make this change. Do you have any ideas to help me in my quest to transition from vanilla to a true KH in every sense of the word?”

First of all… This isn’t about you becoming something your hubby wants you to be. This is about you both enjoying this the way YOU enjoy it, whatever way that may be. Please do me a favor and don’t try to be and do things that are not natural. What you do should feel good and exciting to you. If you fake it, it will become work and then you could easily build resentment by trying to live up to his expectations… Do what you enjoy and are comfortable with. You are in charge, you hold the key, literally – he should not be in charge through you when it comes to chastity or keeping him locked etc. That is called “topping from the bottom” and that’s not ok. It is perfectly fine to communicate – if you know me at all I’m huge on communication – so talk and listen to each other. Get to know what you like, what you think you like, what you don’t like, what feels good both physically and mentally. Decide from there what YOU want to implement in your relationship.

Don’t be afraid to try things if they are not a hard No! You may like them or maybe not and you have the choice, as the one in charge, to say yes that’s good we will do that or no that felt bad or uncomfortable and we are not doing that! It’s all good. In the beginning it’s all about talking and trying and figuring out what works and feels good. Don’t be afraid to say no or change your mind either… Try hard to remember, in most situations, he is the one that asked you for this and decided to give you control. He doesn’t want to decide what happens with his sexual desires, his orgasms, his pleasure. He wants you to be in control of it all. 🙂

In regards to how to be a good keyholder, please feel free to listen to Episode 3 of our podcast. It’s about praise and reassurance and it’s just me talking to other keyholders and I think it might be helpful!

Good luck!

I Need to Please You

Posted by Lady M on March 13, 2019
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 2 comments

It’s been weeks since my hubby has been locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. He hasn’t seen his penis and the only thing it’s felt is that steel around it. I find that pretty fantastic lately. This is literally the longest he’s ever been locked in the device without it being removed. Usually I’d be worried that it was getting stinky or might develop sores from the constant touching of the cage… But this time I just told him I don’t know when I’m unlocking him so he’d better keep care of it! 🙂

I’m really enjoying what being locked in the Revenge is doing to CM. He’s so overly horny and sexual and touchy. Usually that takes a good while of being in the Jail Bird but, it’s happened way faster this time around in the Revenge. I love how it feels like he wants me so bad he can hardly stand it. Like he’s aching for me and NEEDS to have me.

It’s not so much that need he even needs intercourse with me. He has said, “I just need to please you!” Which is very interesting. He just needs some kind of sexual connection and he’s not so much begging to get out and have sex but more just wanting to touch my body, kiss me and my body, feel my sexual bits. He wants to see and feel that I’m turned on. He very much loves being able to eat my pussy, to make me cum and to give me that level of pleasure.

Now, I’m not locked up and denied orgasm or even access to my intimate parts so I’m not feeling that overly crazy horny-all-the-time feeling. That’s not a bad thing at all it just means that “pleasing me,” like he so desperately wants to do, isn’t always about sex or getting me horny or anything. Sometimes it’s more of a turn on to feel him just rub his hands on my body, almost avoiding the intimate parts. Just touching and gently running his fingers over me as if to activate my nerves all over and give me lots of the good feels. This morning was a great example of that. Just as we were about to get up, I sat on the side of the bed and he slid behind me and just ran his hands all over my upper torso and kissed my neck… It felt wonderful. It wasn’t him trying to get me all horny so we could have sex… It was sensual. That sensual stuff has much more of an effect on me than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love him coming up and grabbing my ass or cupping my huge boobs but, the sensual stuff is by far more effective.

Something I don’t want any of you to forget is that “pleasing” your partner isn’t about what you want or what you think they want. It is one hundred percent about what makes your partner feel good, about what turns THEM on. That may not necessarily even mean touching them. Maybe they love the sexual and sensual stuff but maybe they are “turned on” and made to feel good when you make dinner or bring them flowers or just do anything for them that fills that part of them and gives them those feelings of love and being thought of. I’ve found that the sexiest thing, and thing that pleases me the most, is when I know that my likes, wants and desires have been considered. I am pleased when I’m thought of and something is done because CM knows it’s what I would want and not what he wants me to want. 🙂

The Beauty I See & the Control I Have

Posted by Lady M on November 5, 2018
Posted in: D/s, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 2 comments

It seems like CM is always posting pics about what he wakes up to in the morning. How he thinks I’m beautiful and loves my body and boobs and all that. Well he’s not the only one that gets to wake up to complete sexiness beside him in the morning. This was my view yesterday morning as I woke up. I had to stop and tell him to freeze so I could take my own picture. I love how he looks, especially locked in his cage for me.

I love sleeping next to him naked. I love the way his skin feels. I love how he’s the perfect amount of warmth when I need it. I love how we can sleep all entangled up with each other and we both feel so incredibly comfortable. It’s amazing that we can snuggle up so close and fall asleep together like that.

I know at first I was a little worried about how I’d feel about him getting his nipples pierced but I really do like them and I love playing with them and making him squirm when I grab and pull on them. They really are fun and I look forward to finding fun ways to incorporate them into play. His nipple rings and cage really are extremely sexy.

So yesterday, I was feeling better than I had in a while so I decided it was time to take back control of things. Things with my house, my life, my kids and my hubby. It was time to get this house back in shape and cleaned up. I was almost like a drill sergeant, in a way, getting things going. At one point I told hubby I was sick of feeling like crap, sick of hurting and being sick and feeling like I was not in control. I told him, in a half whisper right at his mouth with my lips barely brushing his, that I was taking back my control, of the house, the kids and of him. I told him exactly what he would do to help clean. How he’d do laundry and anything else I asked and I even told him he could “shut his little fucking mouth” about how I went about getting this house back together. Lol it was surprising to me that I finally felt strong enough and good enough to use that tone with him.

I am the one who should control this house and control him, he gave me that control over 5 years ago. He chose to hand me his keys and trust that I could competently control him. I felt a lot of power yesterday and I felt in control and I needed it. My illness does not control me.

A Night Alone

Posted by Lady M on December 3, 2017
Posted in: Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, FemDom, Friends, Male Chastity, Pictures, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 12 comments

Last night cagedmonkey and I finally got that night alone. We knew it was coming so actually, earlier in the day, we started some extra control and CM was to ask to use the bathroom (by the end if the night he was really begging haha) and what he should wear, how much coffee/water/alcohol he was allowed, etc. I also tasked him with making us special dinner after the kids left with grandma. He made a very delicious steak with sauteed fresh mushrooms and onions and parmesan couscous. It was amazingly delicious! I needed way more mushrooms!

It always feels good to control more of him when I feel ignored and disobeyed by my own children haha. Anyway, it was munch night so before we left I had cagedmonkey locked in his cage and his collar. 

For the actual munch he was dressed in our Monkey in a Cage blog t-shirt because it’s always fun to advertise the blog. We met up with our kinky friends for some drinks (lots of drinks hehe) and lots of laughing, licks and fun. I had my big ass blue margarita of course!

There were so many people there and some newbies and we just had a wonderful time. After munch we came home and visited with the neighbors for a bit since they had some kinky friends over for game night. That was a whole other bunch of fun and lots of boobs hehe. 

After we left the neighbors we came home and played around a little and I made sure cagedmonkey gave me exactly what I needed. Apparently, after teasing him and playing with him some this past week, I needed it bad! It’s nice sometimes to have the alcohol involved sex where he can last a little longer and I can cum a lot harder. I had him fuck me so nice and hard and long. I was kinda laying on my side and he just grabbed a hold of my hip and side and fucked me so good. Oh my goodness, it felt amazing and I came so hard and loud. I haven’t cum that loud in a while and this morning I even woke up with very sore muscles and a sore throat and voice. Cagedmonkey was denied again from Thanksgiving and must have been very turned on after all the girls licking each other and boobs flying out throughout the evening and how loud I was during sex that he exploded a big load of hot cum in my pussy. It seriously was incredible!

I wasn’t quite finished with CM after that, though. We cuddled up all spoon-like and we still had some extreme horniness hanging around and when I felt his still-hard cock against my ass I just reached back and took him and shoved his cock in my asshole and made him fuck my ass, no lube, no nothing, until I had another screamingly good orgasm. I guess I just needed to get fucked and fucked good and hard. I love how I have a big man who gives me whatever I need when I need and want it. He never questions when I tell him he’s going to please me, in whatever way I want him to. I seriously love our relationship and our sex. 

When we woke up this morning, a little later than normal, we had some good snuggle time without having to listen to the kids bickering in the other room. It was so nice to get up and have a quiet morning together. Again, cagedmonkey was to cook for me and, of course, he didn’t just cook, he cooked for me naked!

I did have to mess with him a bit while he was cooking… Because why not? Makes it a bit more fun! 🙂 I kept smacking his adorable ass and giving his cock a stroke, or four, while he was standing there. But, wow did he ever make some amazing eggs and hash browns! 

I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means a lot to me when he cooks and the two of us can sit and enjoy an uninterrupted meal together. We even got to go out and run some errands today together and it was wonderful just having this time. It’s not 100% about sex when we have time alone… That part is amazing but it’s about being more focused on each other and giving ourselves to each other more deeply and fully. 

I Need to Domme You

Posted by Lady M on November 29, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, FemDom, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 6 comments

I realized this morning that I’m starting to feel my mood sink. We got a bit busy coming up to the holidays and some of my control turned way less sexual. The house is hard to keep up with when both of us are working and the kid’s are here, there and everywhere. My control has been a lot more clean this, do this, do that, this kid needs to be here or picked up at this time, type of stuff. While, yes, I love being in charge of everything, I also very much enjoy being in charge sexually and there hasn’t been much time for sexual control. Let alone, after working and coming home to cook and clean and run kids places, the energy level is depleted.

This morning I was sitting here after doing some cleaning and realized that I’m feeling a strong need to Domme cagedmonkey. I texted him this morning and told him, “I need to feel some power over you, I need you to be vulnerable to me. I need to feel you shuddering and whimpering beneath me.” Yeah so that’s where I’m at right now. I’m sitting on the couch fantasizing about him being bound in a vulnerable position where I can do whatever I want to him. Where I can play with whatever part of him I want, make him feel what I want. It could be good, amazing, teasing feelings or maybe I want to give him a little discomfort. I can feel my chest get tight when I think about being a little aggressive and rough with him, that’s how I know I need it… Not just want it! I want to feel him powerless and vulnerable to my touch. I really to want and need to feel him whimpering and begging because he knows I’m controlling every sensation he’s having. I need to feel that change in his body when he realizes there is no use trying to hold out. I am fantasizing about him being tired and used and “done” but I just pick up his head and make him eat my pussy more anyway. 

I want and need a good intense powerful night with my hubby. I’m going to ask, again, if Grandma can take the kids this weekend. I asked her a few days ago but she never got back to me about it. 

The Man Who Could Not Get Hard

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 11, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

There once was a man who was unable to have an erection. It wasn’t for a lack of trying or ability; rather, it was for lack of opportunity. You see, this man could not get his dick hard because there was a steel cage locked around his penis at all times.

This steel cage prevented any and all erections, even the most intense and most frantic of them. No matter how strongly out how often he was sexually aroused – which was very strongly and extremely often, thanks to his beautiful and sexy dominating wife – he was not able to have a full and complete erection.

Oh, there were plenty of attempts: any time his wife would tease or tempt him with words or actions, his penis would try as much as it could to get hard. The steel cage would only allow the slightest growth, however, before squeezing back and holding him fast. He would be left throbbing in his cage, desperate for the littlest experience of sexuality, the most basic sexual ability that nearly almost ask men enjoyed but he was denied.

Orgasms were completely out of the question – unable to even get a hardon, orgasms were nowhere near the realm of possibilities. His focus wasn’t on his orgasms, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember the last time he had one. His desire was centered completely around his penis, the need to get hard, and the denial of the chance to do so.

Why on Earth would the woman want to keep her husband’s penis locked in a metal cage? Not only would it be impossible for him to get a full erection, but it would also render his penis inaccessible to her. Lucky for her, the man was very talented at pleasing his wife by other means, ways that did not involve the use of his penis. Not only that, but the woman also get pleasure from the sheer power and control she felt when her husband was desperate for an erection, but could not have one because she was keeping him locked.

The man had nobody to blame but himself, for it was him who asked his wife to use the chastity cage in the first place. It was also him that suggested the lengthy bit of chastity that he was now forced to endure. “Surely,” he thought, “she will not be able to keep me locked up very much longer than we’ve done in the past… she had difficulty reaching 3 weeks in earlier attempts.” But three weeks came and went, with no sign of wavering or weakening from his wife.

And, at four weeks, it was the same: not only was his wife happy keeping her husband in constant chastity, she was enthused by his frustration to continue even further.

This was like nothing he has ever experienced before. His penis felt as if it were constantly crying out to him for just a moment of freedom, just a second of time to experience the full arousal that has already been denied for so long. But he could do nothing about it, except wait and suffer.

His wife joked around as the days went by, contemplating pushing him farther and farther. How long would this go on? “I”m not even sure,” she replied. “We’ll just have to see.”

And so he waited. He waited for the erection he so desperately wanted and needed, with no idea of when the ordeal would end. He would eventually be able to get fully hard, but only when his wife would allow it. It would have to be soon, it couldn’t go on forever.

At least, that’s what he told himself…

Trophy Husband

Posted by Lady M on October 28, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

We’ve all heard the term “trophy wife” before… You know, the eye candy guys wear on their arm showing off the hot wife they have or whatever that’s about. Well I’d like to take a minute to talk about why I feel like I have a “Trophy Husband.” I’m not referring to the fact that I think he’s hot ass hell or has a sexy body or even a big dick… I’m referring to the fact that he’s an amazing man and husband. 

I’m a challenging wife. I’m controlling and dominant, I’m hurting and broken, I’m complicated and confusing, I’m funny and exciting and it takes a very strong man to be my partner and husband. My husband is my trophy husband because I won when God brought him into my life. When I’m physically hurting, he gets it, he helps and tries his best to make me rest. He rubs my back or hip or whatever and tries to make it feel better. When I’m depressed he doesn’t try to fix it but rather asks questions just to listen. On the flip side of all that, when I’m feeling horny he’s there to satisfy my needs. If I’m feeling devious or want to take out frustration, he’s there to take what I’m looking to give. If I’m feeling vulnerable and scared he reassures me and let’s me know the he is mine and no one else’s. If I’m feeling weak and in need of that powerful in-control feeling he offers himself for me to completely control. 

I don’t feel like eye candy should be the definition of a Trophy spouse… I feel like someone who is willing to give their all to their partner and complimenting their needs and wants and desires is the true trophy and that’s what we should be so willing to show off. Cagedmonkey truly is my trophy husband and I love “wearing him on my arm and showing him off.” 

Pretty in Pink

Posted by Lady M on July 22, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Pictures, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

On Friday I decided to send cagedmonkey a few pictures while he was at work. I wanted him ready for the weekend. I had already planned out some interesting tasks for him while at work and on his way home. So it started out in the morning as I was getting dressed. I sent him pictures of way I was wearing, I thought you all would love to see, as well.

I figured, since I had my nails done in a pretty pink that my outfit might as well match. First I sent him a picture to show him what panties I picked out.

Then I knew he would love to see my large breasts so I sent him a picture of the bra I decided to wear.

I knew if I kept sending him pictures of myself that he would get more and more horny for me. Seeing me in my bra and panties is such a tease for him. I sent one last picture to show him the shirt I was wearing. I knew this one would really get to him because… Well, you look and let me know what you think!

I also gave him a task to take a very specific picture for me while he was at work. Then on his way home he was to unlock – because I had plans to use him later – and he was to get my cock hard and take a picture. Then he was instructed to keep it hard the whole way home in the car, so that I could feel it (and tease it) when he got home. After sending him the pictures, and giving him task instructions, I knew he would have no problem whatsoever getting himself hard. When he got home I took a few moments to stroke him, edge him and tease him. It was a wonderful evening, teasing him and increasing his frustration by denying him any release. 

This morning… We dropped the kids off to spend the night at grandma’s house… I wonder what fun we be in store for cagedmonkey with no kids in the house for the night!?

House Husband Fantasy

Posted by Lady M on May 23, 2017
Posted in: D/s, Female Led Relationship, FemDom, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

Finding the Necessary Balance

Posted by Lady M on February 28, 2017
Posted in: Family, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

Vanilla, Kinky, Marriage, Kids – It’s a balancing act. As you know we recently started going to some munches and getting together with new friends in our kinky world, not to mention we bought a new house and our kids activities all week after school and on weekends. Life has felt much like a whirlwind and slightly like trying to balance spinning plates on poles – I’ll have to admit I’m not that great at balancing. In the one who troops and falls UP the stairs lol. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the little behind the scenes things that need to happen in life to make things go smoothly. 

It’s really awesome having friends and we love getting together with them and going to munches but for a bit there I really felt like so much of my time was looking for ways to get rid of the kids for the night so we could go to munches or other kinky events. I started to feel like I was missing and losing out on the family time with my husband and kids that is so very important while they are this age. It felt like every weekend we were constantly running and doing something or going somewhere. 

In the midst of kids and life and going out and getting involved in all these new fun things our kinky play together has gotten lost… again balance! It’s been extremely hard to find time for family time, kinky time, vanilla hubby/wife time, friend time… all of it. I get feelings of inadequacy when I can’t make time for it all, when I can’t find the necessary balance to fit it all in. I’m sure people have noticed that I’ve pulled back a bit, I’m not as active as I was, I’m not as chatty as I was. I’m still struggling to find what I need to make it all work and, right now, I’m trying to focus on my family, my kids, buying this house and all the little things that come along with that and getting back my kinky time with cagedmonkey. I miss it… I miss the intense tease and denial and the playtime we would have. I miss being crazy horny for each other all the time. There are things I miss that we would do more consistently. We keep trying to get in rope trial time and just the different things we enjoy about our kink. It just feels like it is constantly getting set aside because there is something else that needs to come first… Like sleep, work, kids, whatever.

Anyway, just letting you all in to where I am and how I’ve been feeling. I’m working to pull those things together and find that balance and I know I will I just feel like I suck at it right now and I’m letting every one down.