Polyamory

All posts tagged Polyamory

I wanted to chat about the first time the three of us were together, sexually… Mostly because I know a lot of you want to hear the juicy deets! (do people still say that word.? Lol) I do think it’s important for you to hear about how we got to that point. You know we like to keep the “real life” aspect of this blog so that’s what you all will get. In real life you don’t just hop in bed with two men for the first time and do all kinds of sexy stuff.
Since you all are blessed with having all three of us write on this blog, I’m hoping the guys will come and give their thoughts on this, as well. I can only give you my point of view, obviously!


When we started all this I remember the three of us talking a lot. You guys know how much we have talked in the past about the importance of communication. It really is the most basic and fundamental part of any relationship, even one like this. Of course our conversations took a turn to a sexual nature, how could they not? I can remember talking (I guess you could call it fantasizing) about cuckolding – in a lot of different ways. We talked about forced voyeurism, where we would tie cagedmonkey to a chair and force him to watch, while John and I had sex. I started telling the boys about a fantasy I wanted to fulfill. I had always thought about having sex doggy style, over top of someone’s face. The thought of our sex dripping down onto and being rubbed onto someone’s face while they eagerly waited to clean up the mess that was inevitable. Ok, writing this is getting me thinking about it and  it’s making me quiver.

Anyway, I know you’re waiting to hear how the three of us ran immediately to the bedroom, stripped naked and got in position, right? You’re thinking John standing behind my big beautiful round ass and my husband waiting beneath the two of us… Just watching as his cock about to slide in my wet, waiting pussy. Ok well I hate to break it to you but it wasn’t really like that. Yes, at some point we went to bed, all in the same bed, and yes the three of us all got naked.

However, nothing happened immediately. We talked some, I  touched them some and we talked more. I got out my keys, for both guys, and let them both out so we could play, freely, if it felt right. We talked about things we COULD do and things that sounded hot. Mostly we talked about how we would all feel if one or the other were to be having sex with me in front of the other? We talked about how I was going to need to be worked up and made ready for sex. So… I had each of the guys take turns licking my pussy which was very new for me and yes kinda awkward! We made sure to check in to see if we were still all ok, throughout.

After a bit more talking, I guided cagedmonkey up on top of me, missionary, and allowed him to slide his big cock inside me. One of the other things we had talked about in general was having a “clean up toy” or basically someone to clean up the sex, and that’s exactly what happened that night. Hubby and I had sex, John basically watched, he and I kissed, touched, I stroked his cock and then as a reward for being so good he got to clean up the mess. It felt awesome, amazing, insane, scary, and even nervewracking all at once!

None of it was perfect like you’d see in a porn film. In fact it was probably pretty awkward to watch lol. I know I was very worried that I made a mistake with both guys and they both would be upset with me. Oh I had so much going through my head after… That can be another post about mental health on its own but in the moment it felt all kinds of things but good trumped them all. We all did good aftercare, we checked in with each other as a group and individually, multiple times.

The most important thing to remember here is that this all may not go exactly as anyone plans but you really do just need to communicate and things can still turn out good.


If you made it this far, I can’t wait to tell you how much things have changed and how some things haven’t!


Until then, thanks for reading!

I’m sitting on a plane right now, heading to Chicago for work. As usual, for my work trips, we try to plan them so John and I can spend Friday night and Saturday together before I have to work in the office all week. I guess I’m blessed with a boss that understands and allows the time for me to be off, too. For once, the universe smiled on us and our flights actually land within about thirty minutes of each other. Ok so… That’s not exactly true, there was a last minute drive to the airport to see if he could get on an earlier flight so I didn’t have to sit at the airport for 3 hours waiting for him. 😁😂 It was still a win and small victories like that feel extra sweet when you’re in a long-distance relationship.

For those who don’t know, CM, Me and John are in a polyamorous (or ENM: ethically non-monogamous) relationship. Cagedmonkey and I have been together for over 25 years, and my boyfriend, John, has become an important part of my life over the past three years. I am the poly one in our dynamic. Both of the guys are monogamous. It may not be how other people do it but it’s what we do and what works for us. What we have works, not because it’s easy, but because it’s intentional.

A lot of people imagine poly relationships as a free-for-all of romance and adventure, but the truth is much quieter. It’s time zones and calendars and flight schedules. It’s communication and compromise. It’s making sure everyone feels seen, valued, and loved, even when distance or daily life gets in the way.
John and I live in different states, so travel is a constant part of our relationship. He usually does most of it. He is at a point in his life where his kids are grown, he has no pets, and his life is a little more flexible than mine. I’m endlessly grateful for that, and for how much effort he puts into showing up, both literally and emotionally.

And then there’s my husband, who is so generous with his time and with me. It takes real strength and trust to share your partner, to allow love to exist in multiple directions and still feel secure in your own bond. That’s something I never take for granted. Cagedmonkey and I did enjoy a nice Date Night (more on those later) on Wednesday and some extra time together, last night, since I was leaving today. As a rare treat he even took off work to drive me to the airport. It was nice getting to hang out and drive together in the car for an hour and a half and get stuck in shitty traffic. 🤣 Making time for each other is what matters most.

Poly love isn’t about having more. It’s about giving more… more patience, more understanding, more communication. It’s learning that love isn’t a limited resource to be divided, but something that expands and deepens when it’s nurtured openly and honestly.

So while my Chicago trip might start as a work week, it’s also a reminder of how it can be an opportunity to nurture a long distance relationship we may not have otherwise had. It’s not always simple, all relationships take work… And sometimes a good flight plan! ✈️ 😁 ❤️

See you on the ground
Madam

My dynamic with cagedmonkey has always been built on communication. That is fundamentally what all relationships should be built on. During our journey, cagedmonkey and I have had previous conversations talking about pseudo-cuckolding and “my boyfriend” (who happened to be a decent sized dildo). We’d never talked seriously about adding a real life someone, as a matter of fact we’d talked about the opposite. Life, however, has a way of reminding you that things change in ways you could never expect.

It’s almost comedic, isn’t it? Something we were pretty much against has become an important part of our relationship. This was entirely new territory. It was scary, for me! I think it was scary for all of us but you’ll have to ask them yourself! (Feel free to comment!) The whole thing required conversations… endless, rigorous conversations. We had to work through boundaries, logistics, and yes, the inevitable human kinks like, insecurities. But we committed to finding a dynamic that worked for all three of us, built on the non-negotiable principle of honesty and respect. It wasn’t always smooth… it ISN’T always smooth. Everyday we continue to work out the rough spots but thats just how this goes. 

I’m sure you’re dying to know the who, the what, the where, when and all that stuff so I wont leave you waiting any more! This all began back in 2014 on a male chastity forum, driven by a simple, shared common interest. John and I were both moderators there in that little corner of the digital world. For years, our interactions were sporadic – polite banter between two people who fundamentally understood this lifestyle. We spent around 8 years building a foundation of friendship from a distance with the occasional check in emails to find out how each other and our families were doing. It was always great to hear from him. But time is merely a tool for the powerful, and as 2022 rolled in, the tool started working overtime.

Suddenly, our conversations shifted focus. the pleasantries faded, and the core of what we both desired came into view: control. We started discussing his lock, the key that needed to be mine, and the control he needed and I thrived on. Things accelerated quickly, feelings grew bigger than anyone ever expected and just like that, I didn’t just have a long-distance friend; I had a new, devoted partner. A boyfriend who is now, quite rightly, locked in chastity 24/7 under my command,, among other things. 😜

With the newly decided polyamorous relationship that cagedmonkey, John and I were working on establishing came the need to explain to the children how there would be another man visiting and sleeping in mom and dads room. 🙂  Once the adult foundation was solid, I sat down with my kids who were 14 and 17 at the time – old enough to understand that the world is complex, and savvy enough to know that alternative lifestyles exist. I approached them with the confidence of a woman who knows her truth.
I was very blunt and got right to it, asking:
“What do you know about polyamory?”

They offered a general, acceptable answer. The younger had a basic idea of what it was and the older knew just what I was talking about because she is Poly herself.

“Good, I’m glad you understand. Because Dad and I are evolving our lifestyle. I will have a boyfriend. We are adding love to our family.”
And their response? Pure, unadulterated acceptance.

“Cool! When do we get to meet him?”

No drama. No fear. Just curiosity and support. I believe this is the result of raising children in an environment of total transparency. They don’t shrink from their mother’s strength; they salute it.
The relationship between cagedmonkey, John, and me is one of negotiation, emotional intelligence, and relentless commitment. It’s built on three unique sets of needs, all working toward a shared success. It’s not “conventional,” but since when has Madam Allure ever aimed for conventional? 🙂
Sometimes, the most exquisite things start with a random connection and bloom into a beautifully complex reality that is entirely, unapologetically ours. And sometimes, your children simply remind you that living your truth is the ultimate act of power.