I got a great comment on my last post which included a question I didn’t want to just answer in a reply. I feel like I have a little more to say on the subject than just a few words to be lost in the comment section of the blog.
Philip wrote:
I have a question that I do not recall being discussed in your blog. CM has often edged himself as required but would you Lady M ever instruct him to ruin his own orgasm and do you CM feel you could manage to do this? Personally I think I would find it very difficult and I dare not even hint at the idea to my wife!
It’s interesting to have this question asked because, I do enjoy so very much giving Cagedmonkey a good ruined orgasm. I love, even more, getting him so worked up and crazy during denial that he starts begging for one. I love hearing him moan and whimper and react to teasing and feeling how horny he is. So horny, that he would even want to get that close to orgasm only to have it completely unfulfilled and ruined.
Now to get to the point of answering the question… I do not recall that I have ever had him ruin himself, but himself. I really haven’t even had him stroke or edge himself (without me there) until recently. I struggled a lot with allowing him out of his cage while I wasn’t there. He’s proven, over the past 7 years, that I can trust him to obey me and follow my rules and only do what I tell him to do when he is out of the cage and not with me.
I think one of the other reasons he hasn’t done this on his own is that I enjoy it so incredibly much! Though, he has been the one to actually ruin himself before. I’ve had him both stroke and have sex with me and get himself to a ruined orgasm. A couple of weeks ago I had him fuck my pussy right to the point where he pulled out and his cock just dripped a ruined orgasm on my belly. It was awesome, it makes me so happy I just can’t help but giggle!
Philip, I hope this answers your question and helps you understand my side of this. I don’t know if hubby feels differently when I’m the one ruining him or if he is made to ruin himself. It must take a hell of a lot of self control to do as he is told and to force himself to ruin an orgasm… He could easily just go further and enjoy it but, instead, he obeys because he knows that I enjoy it so much.
So much of his submission is just because he loves making me happy and doing what I want him to makes me happy.
I think that if my Queen made me ruin my next orgasm it would be cruel and yet very hot. By then I’ll likely have gone over a year between any type of orgasm.
That’s awesome, Michael! Really hoping I can get hubby to a year without orgasm hehe
Hi this Mistress KKK
Have put Hubby’s email on your list @chastityrob1956
Awesome!
Thanks for that response to my question. Yes you did answer it for me and I am honoured that you did so in an actual blog post too.
Since posting the question I have read more into different types of ruined orgasm, I had no idea that there was more than one type!!
Thanks again.
I should have emailed to let you know I posted about it, sorry!
> So horny, that he would even want to get that close to orgasm only to have it completely unfulfilled and ruined
I am endlessly fascinated by the range of experiences people have. What you call a “ruined” orgasm – an orgasm without stimulation, ideally around 5-10 seconds after stimulation stopped – I find to be more fulfilling than a “full” orgasm. I think because it feels “right”, and quite submissive; and also because it’s more gentle, not painful. That’s after months of denial. Right now we just crossed a year, and I don’t even want to think about what a full orgasm would feel like at this point.
> It must take a hell of a lot of self control to do as he is told and to force himself to ruin an orgasm
When I was still allowed to edge myself, it took self control to stop before a full orgasm. Over time, that changed. I did not want to come at all, and a full orgasm would have left me feeling even more guilty than one without stimulation. Self control was replaced with a desire to please.
What I never learned to do was edge myself and not come at all. After 6-7 weeks on average, I’d come. Usually 5 to 10 seconds after I stopped edging. I told myself I just needed to get better at it, but with no progress for a year+, I finally got around to understanding that the only way I wasn’t going to come, was not edging myself at all.
Giving that up, without the use of a cage, took time and a LOT of positive reinforcement, and a LOT of trial and error. I’m glad we took the time to undo decades of masturbatory habit, I’m much better off when I don’t edge.
As for begging: I’ve just been told I’m allowed to beg to be denied, if and when my husband decides he wants me to come. So, begging for an orgasm, not in this household. But begging to be denied an orgasm, that’s allowed.
Thank you so much, Schnoff, for the comment! It’s always interesting to see another point of view or how others experience things. 🙂