chastity help

All posts tagged chastity help

Cleaning up the mail box so here is a potpourri of Mail Chastity questions I’ve received. It might end up being a little bit of a longer post. Sorry for the delay in answering any of your questions!

Chris writes:

“I follow your blog some time now. I realy like it.
I plan to buy a steelworkxx looker 1. I am looking for advice on the cockring. I read that people sleep better with a normal ring than with the anatomical ring. The anatomical ring would give a burning/biting feeling. Do you have experience with both of them? What would be your advice?”

I think that the difference between an anatomical ring and a regular one is really a matter of preference. I’ve heard guys swear by its comfort, but I didn’t like it when I wore mine with the Revenge. The curvature at the bottom never seemed to find a comfortable place, and it just didn’t feel right. Now I use just the regular straight ring with the Revenge, and everything feels fine.

My best advice would be to go with what suits you best. If you’re uncomfortable with the anatomical ring, I wouldn’t try to gut it out just because other people do better with it. Try out the regular ring and see how it feels, and then go with whichever is better.

A gentleman from FetLife asks:

“Does chastity hurt as the denial sets in?”

I’m going to answer this in two parts, because it’s a more complicated question than you might realize.

Physically, chastity shouldn’t “hurt” over time as the denial continues. A proper fitting cage with proper hygiene won’t cause any skin irritations; as far as blue balls go, I would consider that more tenderness than actual pain. Yes, they are more sensitive to your normal daily jostling, but it’s not a constant source of discomfort.

Mentally, it definitely comes and goes. During long denial periods I can go from being super psyched (“I’m going to be denied orgasm for three months? That’s crazy!”) to wanting it to end (“I’m not going to have an orgasm for the rest of the summer? That’s HORRIBLE!”). It’s during these times when I’m desperate for relief that it really, truly hurts me when ML says no. After all, the feeling is real; at that moment, I really do want to be done with being denied. It can be a major downer when it seems like she isn’t acknowledging my feelings for release.

At these times, it’s important for me to remind myself that she is acknowleding these feelings… however, she also knows that I crave the feelings that come with absolute submission to her. If she gave in to my needs before she truly wanted to, yes I would get the instant gratification of orgasm, but it would be tainted by later feelings of guilt.

So yes, there is emotional pain that comes with orgasm denial and chastity… but in my opinion, it’s definintely worth suffering through for the intense sexual connection that both My Lady and I get out of it.

What type of device do you prefer?

My personal favorite is the Jailbird. I like the open-style cages the best, because it just looks better in my opinion. I have nothing against the closed-style devices, but ones like the Revenge are a little too “hardcore” for my liking. They require much more stringent upkeep and cleaning practices. Plus, I really do like the way it looks when my cock bulges against the bars of the JB, like it wants to get out so bad that’s it’s trying to break through the steel. 🙂

Can chastity completely remove a desire or ability to orgasm?

Quite the opposite, I’d say! It’s possible to lose the desire to orgasm while in chastity, but I think that would have to do with a mental/psychological issue rather than the chastity itself. Normally, the longer you are locked up and/or denied, the more intense the need for release gets.

With that said, a man’s orgasm may be weakened slightly from long term orgasm denial. The muscles that contract during orgasm may atrophy after a long time of not being used. This would pass after the muscles are re-strengthened (i.e. after you cum lots and lots). I found that you can reduce this effect by doing kegel exercises on a regular basis.

Can chastity be used to modify someone to orgasm by verbal command?

I don’t think that chastity can be used as behavior modification in that way. I’m guessing the only way to achieve that would be through some sort of hypnosis – which I don’t recommend, only because I have absolutely no experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for fucking up some guy’s mind so they can’t ever cum again unless he hears the word “watermelon.”

Are there health risks to long term chastity?

Other than possible skin irritations from not having a proper fit, or perhaps injury from laying on the cage the wrong way or something like that, I don’t think there are serious health risks to long term chastity. There is some evidence that orgasm denial is related to a slight increase in prostate problems, but there is also contradictory evidence that says the opposite.

Does chastity affect testicle size long term?

I haven’t experienced any increase in testicle size, at least not permanent – (perhaps during a long denial they may feel or seem swollen, but it’s not a lasting effect. What I have experienced, to quite a degree, is some stretching of my scrotum. I’m naturally a “low hanger,” but after wearing a chastity device for so long – and the repeated erection attempts that often come with longer denials – my balls hang a bit lower than they used to. It’s not a major problem; it’s not like I sit on them on accident or that they drop into the toiler water when I use the bathroom or anything like that. But I guess I would consider that a “side effect” of long term chastity.

Thank you again for all of your questions. Please feel free to write and ask us anything!