I know March is supposedly “Ask a Question” month here in the blogosphere but I really didn’t make a big deal about it because we don’t usually get into all those little traditions. However, I DO love questions so maybe this is one I should have gotten into!! Oh well… with all that said, we had a fellow blogger comment the other day to ask a question and I decided with the subject matter that the answer might be better explained in it’s own post. What he is asking is something that I have often thought to write about and explain my view on but I haven’t just yet, now seems like the perfect time. I do encourage any other Dominant ladies, Mistresses, whatever who might read our blog to give an answer as well, feel free to comment!

Here is the comment from DtBHC:

As March is not yet over I thought I would ask a few more questions. I have posed the same questions to other dominant women to gauge their thoughts on this matter as well.

The topic I would like to get an understanding of from you is around the feminisation of your partner. Obviously this can be a fantasy of the male in the relationship and therefore something they desire, but what I was interested in was what do you gain from any such practices that you adopt in your relationship? N on occasions likes to make up my face. This occurred a few times before we started this current dynamic and only once since. It was different when she did it the last time as I was more accepting of what she was doing and hence she enjoyed it more. I still don’t know what she gets out of it.

This is what he is curious to know:

So the sorts of practices I have seen mentioned are like breast growth, wearing panties, being plugged or pegged (fantasy of mine so I get the thrill this brings your partner), removing hair and wearing adornments. So if you wouldn’t mind, could you please share with me what these practices mean to you and the relationship?

As far as the whole feminization (I’ll spell it the American way haha) thing goes, it seems that is something that most people think HAS to be part of a D/s relationship. Personally, I do not think anything HAS to be part of any relationship. I think you do what you enjoy, no matter what it is or whether it makes sense to you or any one else!

Now, as far as feminization in OUR relationship, it is actually something we are not into. We did for a VERY short time play with the whole wear my panties thing but, to be honest, it’s not a turn on and I might even consider it a turn off to see MY husband being feminized. If we are to discuss what I do with some of my other subs, then there are other dynamics at play. I like to get to know my subby boys which means I get to know if they have a thing about humiliation and of course then I can feminize them. If it is something they enjoy and get a thrill from then I am going to go all out doing what I am able to give them what they need. I do know that some women enjoy some parts of feminization, whether thats a completely shaved, smooth body or how pretty her guy looks in panties, it’s just not something I enjoy. This is the same for the breast growth or looking in any way feminine. I like to see my man as a big man. A man that, even though he’s a big strong man, I control and have on my puppet strings.

What this practice ultimately comes down to is control. A man wants to be controlled to the extent that he could even be made to be completely the opposite of what he is. There is a huge aspect of humiliation when a man being treated as a woman or seen as a panty wearing sissy boy. It digs deep into them showing them they are not even worthy of being men. I guess there might even be a little bit of degradation in there as well. Along with this some might go as far as the Forced Bi thing and that’s just another aspect of control.

DtBHC also asked about buttplugs and pegging and I guess in a way the pegging could be seen as sexual feminization – a man being fucked as a woman would be. I’ll spend a little time getting into how I view buttplugs and then pegging.

The use of buttplugs for me is not something I would consider a form of feminization. For me this is another aspect of control. I do not use buttplugs to cause pain, punish or stretch my boys. I use them to control yet another part of their body and to cause frustration because they sit on their already swollen prostate.

Pegging, on the other hand, I don’t know that I would call it feminine, many people have anal sex and is it feminizing for two men when they are having sex? I don’t think so. I think it’s just another way to have sex and not necessarily feminizing. I can see it being used that way, to humiliate and degrade and man by dressing him up as a slutty girl in a pink frilly shirt and a mini skirt, bending him over the side of the bed and fucking him in the ass like the dirty little slut he is… but I don’t feel it HAS to be that way.  I do think having a man that way, who is not normally in that position, and taking him in that way can be just another way to enjoy sex and control… it just so happens a woman doesn’t usually have an actual penis to use on her man so there is a need for a strap-on.

So I apologize to DtBHC, if my answers are a bit vague or maybe not be the full fetish answers he wanted to hear. I play with and do the things that make me feel good and that I enjoy. I also do them for the reasons and, in the way that I enjoy. I dont think there is some rule book that has to be followed and that you have to be one certain way because you do a certain thing.

Thank you for the questions and I certainly encourage more! I do love to get questions (even if it takes me days to answer them!)