depressed

All posts tagged depressed

The other night cagedmonkey and I had an unexpected Switch night. I’m sure you want me to get into and describe all the forced cock sucking till my eyes watered, hair pulling, spanking, deep ass fucking till I was thanking him and asking for it harder, deeper and faster but really I’m going to gloss over that. 🙂 Awww, sorry, don’t cry too much. Maybe cagedmonkey will post again later with more thoughts and descriptions of how he bent me over and fucked me like a little slut. However, I’m just going to mention what a fantastic boy I have who, even in a switch, ultimately followed his Lady’s rules and did NOT have an orgasm. Ahhh, such a good boy!

Our switch happened only a very short time before hubby had to head out the door to work. When I say a short time, it actually means he left about 5 mins late because he was busy with his dick shoved deep in my ass instead of getting dressed. What that means is that I got fucked and called a slut and then he got up, got dressed and left. No time for aftercare – which neither one of us thought about what-so-ever.

About 30 mins after he left… I felt it. I felt that familiar, “oh fuck I’m sinking” feeling. My shoulders dropped and rolled forward, my head tilted down and my smile faded. I could feel my body and my emotions slipping. The amazing amount of horny I had in me was flowing right out of me. Awwww crap! I texted him and told him what was happening. The exchange went like this:

Me: I can feel myself slipping. I can feel that I’m getting emotional.

Him: I’m sorry baby, I’m here when you need to talk.

Me: I’ll be ok, I can just feel it happening, starting to feel that depression feeling. I feel like I could just cry at any second. Keep thinking about my dad and I’m lonely.

**a few minutes pass – he is at work after all*

Him: OH FUCK!
Him: DAMN IT!
Him: I’m such an asshole
Him: I’m so sorry baby!

Me: WTF? Are you sorry for, what did you do now?

Him: I didn’t give you aftercare

BOOM! There it was… I didn’t get my aftercare. Mind you it was never a thought in my mind to have it. I’m a big bad dominant woman, I don’t need that shit! HA! I found out that even the big bad dominant needs, even just a little, aftercare sometimes. Especially after a switch when the roles are touching on the emotions and pains from childhood. I never even realized I would need that. Like I said, I’m me, I’m the one in control… yeah, sometimes my emotions have control over me.

The past few days have been a bit down, a bit off, a bit depressed and a lot NOT horny. I’ve been crying off an on, thinking about the fact that I lost 6 members of my family in the past 6 months. It would have been my father’s birthday on Tuesday, my Aunt’s was a few days ago, the holidays are coming up. I got feeling of worthlessness, sadness, loneliness and a bunch of other ‘ness’s. It hasn’t been a fun couple days.

This morning I was feeling a bit better and gave myself a boost by giving cagedmonkey some delicious nipple torture and got my pussy quivering. 🙂 Yeah… it’s that easy. A little nipple pain, some yummy whimpering and it kicks my horny back in. I’m by no means back where I was but, tonight is date night… haha I’m sure I’ll get my fill of making his nipples good and sore tonight.