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Joey, one of our readers, wrote to us the following:

Mr monkey, 
I’m just curious what’s the longest mrs monkey has ever kept you locked up in chastity?

First of all, there’s no need for formalities. 🙂

I’m guessing that by the “longest” I’ve been locked up, you mean the longest 24/7 chastity term I’ve gone through without being released.

The longest ML has kept me constantly locked was a little over three weeks – to be honest, I’m not sure of the exact amount of days because we’ve done it a few times already. Each of the last two times, we’ve set out aiming for a month but we never quite make it that long. ML just can’t go on that long without my cock 😉

Joey also asks:

H

ow exactly does blue balls feel to you and do you ever get them?

After two months of not cumming, of course I get them!

The good thing is that it’s not a constant feeling that I deal with all day long. I really only feel it when I’m sexually aroused – which is to say that I feel it whenever My Lady is near me. 🙂 It’s not the painful agony that most guys expect or imagine; I would describe it more as an ache, kind of how a minor muscle bruise would feel. And much like a bruise, the ache gets deeper the more you pay attention to it – that’s one of the reasons ML takes every opportunity to remind me of my situation.

Thanks for the questions, Joey!

There seems to be one particular subject that is gripping the minds of many of the followers out there.

Melly’shubby writes:

I’m interested in trying to get my wife to squirt. Could you describe how you do it?

Kiwi writes:

Your bride complemented you on your squirting stimulation technique. Do you have any pointers for a newbie?

Ah, yes, the magical squirting pussy. It really is an amazing sight, especially the first time it happens for you. First off, a little technical knowledge:

To all the naysayers out there, I say to you with a loudly tuned bullhorn – female ejaculate is not urine! Believe it or not, there have been serious medical studies performed that prove this. My Lady and I are under the impression that almost every woman has the capacity to squirt, they just need to be open to the idea. ML has mentioned to me that, before squirting became a thing for us, that she would sometimes feel the urge to pee during an orgasm. She would hold it in, because who wants to get pissed on during sex, right? Okay, maybe some people do, but that’s a subject for a whole different post. Turns out that is wasn’t an urge to pee, it was an urge to release her juices.

The two most important things to remember when attempting to “make it rain” as it were, are:

1) relaxation – the woman needs be completely relaxed. She also needs to know that no matter what happens you are going to be cool with it, not turned off or grossed out. It’s a lot like anal sex, now that I think about it.  🙂

2) practice – although it took some trial and error to get there, I can pretty much make ML squirt on command. 🙂 Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work 100% of the time right out of the gate.

Before I explain my technique, I want to make it clear that I am not some all-knowing, squirt master guru. I only know what I know, and I know that this technique works for us. You may find a better way that works for you. If so, go with that. I’m not writing up instructions on how to build an IKEA cabinet here.  🙂

The first time my wife squirted, I was playing with her pussy and for some unexplained reason, I decided to try to go for it make it happen. I was aware of the possibility of squirting and knew the fact that it wasn’t urine but something else entirely – I honestly don’t know what it is, but I don’t care really.  🙂  So, while I was doing it and I could feel her pussy reacting (I will explain the technique I use later, but it involves paying attention to how the woman’s vagina is squeezing), I kept telling her things like “it’s okay, baby” and “just let it go” and “just let it happen.” Basically, I didn’t want her to be shy and pull back, I wanted her to let loose. And she did! I made her squirt twice that time, and we both were amazed at how much she soaked the carpet! Since that first time, we’ve learned some stuff and now it’s very easy for me to make it happen. Often times she will be squirting within seconds of me starting! It’s pretty awesome.

Ok, now for the important stuff – how to make it happen. I find it works best when using 1 finger only, I use my middle finger most often, but any one you are comfortable with would work. You aren’t looking for depth here, you are looking for precision. Contrary to popular belief, you do NOT want to aim for the G-spot; the G-spot is actually too far in. You need to back out just the tiniest bit to hit the correct spot. To visualize the exact location, you are pretty much aiming for where the woman’s clitoris would be if it went straight through into her vagina. Once you are at the proper spot, you want to curl your finger towards yourself (assuming the woman is facing you). This is commonly referred to as the “come hither” motion. I would rather call it the “come hither” position – a small distinction, but very important, as you will see.

Another misconception is that once you find the spot, you should start thrusting or rubbing against the target spot in the vagina. This may work from time to time, but I have found a technique that is much more reliable. Imagine that your middle finger is placed where it needs to be, curled slightly inside the vagina, pressing against the inner front wall. Your palm should be resting pretty much flat against her pussy. The motion you need is to move you hand back and forth at the elbow and forearm, you should hold your wrist in its position. To get the motion right, try to focus on rubbing her clit with the heel of your palm while your finger stays in the right spot inside her.

After a while, you will be able to feel the walls of your woman’s vagina start squeezing you finger. She may also be moaning quite a bit by now.  🙂  When you start to feel the squeezing, you need to add the slightest bit of upward motion to your hand movement. Press just a little harder on her pussy when you are moving back and less when you move forward, almost moving your hand in a slight oval. You will feel your wife’s pussy begin to contract even more, it may even feel as if the walls are pushing against your finger in waves. This is good. When you feel this, keep the hand motion up, but use your finger to massage the walls that are squeezing against you (you will most likely have to move upwards a little more, to where the G-spot actually is). Keep pushing as the walls push back. Soon (hopefully), you’ll feel a warm, wet liquid flow over your palm. Success!  🙂

My Lady and I have found that she tends to squirt more when she can use the muscles in her thighs to push. For example, it is easier to make her squirt when she is standing up or squatting (over my face, usually), than when she is lying down. However, she has been learning how to squeeze just the right way while laying down to get a nice spray going; the distance she squirts often surprises me! Also, make sure you prepare for “the worst” when trying this out – double layer some towels underneath her. My Lady has soaked the couch/carpet/mattress many times because we thought that one towel would be enough! Just something to think about.

Hopefully this technique will work for you, and pretty soon the comments section will be filled with stories from readers who have soaked themselves silly with pussy juices. Just don’t come after me looking to take care of your laundry bill!

Good luck!

Time again for another round of “Mail Chastity” where we tackle the topics that are on your mind. As always, these are real questions from real readers. Feel free to email us with any questions you may have; your question just may be featured in our next Mail Chastity post!

Click on the contact page in the top left corner for email info, or simply just to see a great pic of My Lady’s beautiful breasts perfectly framing the key to my chastity cage.  😉

Q: Are there any medical concerns involved with being locked up so frequently?

Hmmmm….. good question. There are some medical issues that should be addressed when considering long term and/or frequent wearing of a chastity device. Most of these issues are not very severe if tended to.

The most common occurrence would be skin irritation where the cage sits, either around the scrotum or on the shaft of the penis. This can be avoided by using a properly fitting cage and proper lubrication to allow movement of the cage while walking. Skin irritation, if left unchecked, can lead to blisters and skin ulcers which risk being infected. You don’t want that.

Another common condition that is often seen with open-style devices (Birdcage/Jailbird/etc.) is edema, or localized swelling due to fluid buildup. This happens when the penile tissue expands into the open spaces of the cage. This isn’t the “hardon bulge” I’m talking about… that is completely normal, especially when your keyholder is deliberately turning you into a sex-crazed lunatic. Edema occurs when your erection goes away, but the swelling and fluid remain. This can be fixed by rubbing and massaging the area to promote circulation… just be careful not to enjoy it TOO much and piss off your keyholder! Edema, when not dealt with in time, can cause tissue damage and possible erectile dysfunction if it becomes serious enough.

The issues I have described in the linked posts were not related directly to wearing the chastity device. There were… ahem… other factors involved.

Q: How does chastity effect the day-to-day basis of your life?

To be honest, not all that much. The main difference is that I get crazy horny as time goes on. Duh. Other than that, the cage doesn’t get in the way much. I can play with my children without incident – I try to avoid having them sit on my lap, but they are old enough now where that’s not a big worry. Work is not a problem, even though my job requires frequent walks around the room, as well as sitting and standing. Other than the fact that I’m goddamn-motherfucking-all-batshit-flames-of-hell horny all the time, my life proceeds pretty much in a normal fashion.

Q: How do you decide what to post? Is it a joint effort?

My Lady does most of the posting on the blog, for two reasons. First, she is a major control freak… which she will freely admit, hence the FLR lifestyle. Second, she usually has the most time to post, given that she is a stay-at-home mom with a Galaxy Note 2 surgically attached to her hand. However, we both collaborate on what themes and ideas to post about. Very often, we will be discussing a particular aspect of our lifestyle, and either of us will say, “We should totally write a blog post about this.” She usually just beats me to the punch. We do really enjoy doing the “He Said, She Said” and “Conversations” posts… they are lots of fun, and they give our readers great insight on the types of conversations we have and that we consider necessary in order make this lifestyle run smoothly.