pain slut

All posts tagged pain slut

As I sat with my coffee this morning, I started reflecting on my day…

I woke up this morning thinking about a fantasy I have had for a long time. I want to be punished. My head was in that state of consciousness somewhere between sleep and being awake. That time where I am consciously thinking about something but it still feels almost dreamy. My cage was pulling on my balls from a very strong attempt at an erection when I woke up so I think I had been dreaming about it first.

So what makes this fantasy frustrating? It is a fantasy that cannot be fulfilled. Or at least I haven’t figured out a way to fulfill it. I have this deep longing for a harsh punishment, and this particular longing is for a harsh physical punishment. Just what that looks like has evolved over the last 50 years but it always involves impact implements of some sort. Pushing me to my limit, and then just a little bit more. In my current stage it would involve the use of canes, on just about any part of my body. I look forward to writing about what that is like in the future but for now the importance is that it is a real punishment. I need to not want it, to be pushed a little. I need to want it to stop but for the one administering it to need more. And just as important if not more is that I need the person (Michele of course) giving it to be really punishing me.

And this is where the frustration comes in to play. I don’t want to ever do anything that would put Michele in a position where she wants to punish me. I like being obedient. I like being a good boy. We have very clear expectations so I know (generally) how to stay where I am supposed to be. When I do veer a little our dynamic allows us, almost forces us, to get back on track before anything becomes a “punishable” issue.

So how do I get this “need” fulfilled? And at some deep phycological level it is a need. That is the question I am pondering.

I don’t expect an easy answer but if anyone has one please share, leave a comment or send us an email

John

Some of you may know and some of you may not but for a while now, I’ve been looking for a submissive girl to have as a plaything. A good little girl to be mine, to play with how I want, to corrupt. Not just any girl, because I actually want to build a friendship and a relationship with this girl. Sort of like having myself a girlfriend on the side. I have been looking locally, only to find that most were fake or just playing games and not really into actually meeting. I am looking to experience real life play but decided I would expand my reach a bit.

I started with a simple f4f post on Reddit in the BDSMPersonals and, good Lord, some of the responses from Reddit are simply comical – in a not so good way! I have met a couple good people and gotten to be friends from there but the crazies made me pull my ad down and take a break. I was still looking through, though, in hopes of finding a f4f post by a sub looking for a Domme. I should say I put hubby on the task of finding them and passing them along to me. Basically I was making him look for a girl for me to play with. Which, in itself is kinda hot and very frustrating to him to think about the fact that I want him to find the girl in going to make him watch as a cuckold him with a woman. Tied up and locked in his cage as he watches me get pleased by a woman, as she makes my pussy cum and it’s dripping down her chin.

The fun part is, I want to do the same to her, tease her, deny her and force her to watch me get pleased when she is dying to be the one making me cum. I want to dominate her, bind her, spank her, control her. I really had given up hope, if I’m being quite honest. I didn’t think this girl even existed.

Then I got a link texted to me from cagedmonkey. At first I left it sit in my messages without clicking on it. I just really was tired of people. After a bit I gave it a chance, when I read it I was like, “yeah right, he must be crazy, she’s half my age!” Ya know what, I said fuck and sent her a message. I quite simply said “I want to chat more, message me,” pretty much because I figured she wouldn’t so why prove myself haha. I mean, what could happen, she’d be fake, we’d talk for a bit and then conversation would trail off like it always does. Well, not so much! Haha the weirdest thing happened. This girl, we’ll call her Lizzy here, and I clicked like crazy and couldn’t stop talking. We both actually wanted to hear from the other and we talked, for days! It was so much fun – it IS so much fun – getting to know each other. Now an even hotter thing is that she and hubby have started chatting and getting to know each other too. They are almost exactly alike! It’s like I found the girl version of him, I love it! I find it interesting to think that my hubby is chatting away and becoming friends with someone who is basically my girlfriend and who I am hoping I get to see in person to cuckold the hell out of him with.

I have had so much fun, recently, taking bits of control away from Lizzy. I love to hear her call me ma’am. I love to make her follow my instructions and do things to her body for me. She’s my little pain slut too and I love to hear her whimper. I can’t wait to dig deeper with her, to touch her deepest darkest fantasies.

For now I leave you with these images – I mean how could I not be turned on and want to control that body?
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And damn! She’s just so delicious looking, I can’t wait to get her on her knees, bind her arms behind her, wrap my hand in her long dirty blonde hair and just rub her face in my sloppy wet pussy.
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