I bet you expected to see this post from Cagedmonkey, huh? Well, too bad, it’s from me. We are just about at the tenth month of this year long orgasm denial which, in itself, is pretty amazing. I’m pretty proud of myself for getting this far through this. So toward the end of last year, when we talked about this whole year long denial we always said if I wanted to stop for any reason we would. If it ever wasn’t fun anymore, or we weren’t enjoying it, we would stop. There is no way I would take something like that lightly or just decide on a whim that I was done.
For about the last month I’ve had off and on feelings about this whole year of denial thing. I’ve thought a lot about if I want to continue. It’s taken me about a month to finally get to a point where I knew I needed to actually make a decision. I noticed, recently, that when I thought about the denial, I’d almost start feeling down about it. Even more recently, thinking about sex was making me feel horny and, yes, excited but also I felt down… I’d start to feel blah and almost not want to have sex. Not that I didn’t want to but that feeling was there. I had to ask myself, why? Well, that why is because sex, for me, was not feeling satisfying. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled after. Yes, I get to cum and get pleased like crazy all the time but for some reason not seeing and feeling CM satisfied (especially inside me) is not giving me what I need. There is some part of our intimacy missing and it’s that moment when we are both in an intensely sexy moment, feeling that amazing feeling that I’m missing. In a way I feel sort of let down and maybe kind of lacking because I’m not getting his satisfaction. It’s so weird, I know, but that’s how it is.
I guess it’s difficult to explain how hard it is to keep someone denied for so long when you’re sexual with them on a daily basis. Sex, for me right now, just feels incomplete. I feel like I’m left hanging and really I am not one who enjoys denial or frustration. As much as I love denying him and frustrating him, I do still love seeing his satisfaction. It makes me feel good and like I’m doing something right. Like I said, it’s weird and hard to explain but it’s just what it is.
Someone asked earlier today, when I was telling them about all this, what is so important about the 12 months? What made us decide to do it? Honestly, there isn’t anything all that important about it. It was just something to try after trying so many other things lol. We really just wanted to see if we could do it, I guess. Other than I know I could do it, the past 10 months has helped me see that I actually do need to see and feel CM satisfied, at least once in a while!
So, give it a couple days and then feel free to ask CM how it feels to cum after being teased and denied his orgasm for about ten months! Haha 🙂 I guess he’ll know, at some point, I’m going to tell him to cum after he reads this!
I understand where you are coming from. My wife also struggles with denying me sometimes. I don’t expect she’ll make me wait a year, but she’ll likely make me wait several months at a time. I still very much enjoy sex and want to come but the heightened sexual tension makes life more fun. While I enjoyed my last orgasm immensely, I also felt regret that that particular ride was over. Now three weeks later I’m starting to feel that increase in horniness again. I love that.
That’s actually another thing I miss… I miss the build up of the denial period. I mean once you’re denied for a while there is no more oomph!
hi, I enjoy reading your blogs very much and was wondering if others know about your lifestyle like family and friends , we are a femdom couple and i’m also locked and was wondering if I should tell people around us our lifestyle ,thank you Bob
Our kink is very much a private subject – there are very few people who are aware of our vanilla and kink identities.
We have always felt that it’s not a great idea to bring people into our kinky lifestyle who may not be prepared for it; it would be unfair to push that onto someone without any warning. Most of the people who know both sides of us started on the kinky side.
thanks for the reply and that does help , looking forward to your blogs and podcasts,Bob