bdsm

All posts tagged bdsm

Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby

Posted by Michele on January 29, 2014
Posted in: Advice, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 8 comments

I write this blog based on our experiences, feelings and general knowledge. I’m not a professional nor do I claim to be an expert. I do know that there are some feelings and emotions in this lifestyle that are pretty common. You don’t have to be a Domme or a Keyholder, all you have to be is a partner to someone who has fantasies.
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In our contract, cagedmonkey and I are both required to share any and all fantasies with each other. No matter how crazy, absurd or off the wall they may seem. We are also required to listen to each others fantasies without judgement and with open-mindedness (is that a word?). There are two ways we can respond to fantasies, enthusiastically: “Ooo, damn baby that sounds great I want to try that!” Or accepting: “well, that’s interesting. I don’t think that’s something I’d be into, at least not right now but it is interesting.” This is when we can ask questions, see what the reasoning is behind the fantasy, spanking? humiliation? pain? etc and maybe see if there is even some aspect of it we might like to explore.

One thing someone can start to feel, when hearing your partners fantasies, is responsible. We instantly feel like we HAVE to fulfill said fantasies. We start to feel intimidated by the fantasies thinking we will never measure up. Well I’m here to set the record straight… just because someone has a fantasy does not mean it needs to be fulfilled or that they even want it fulfilled. Not everything can be done but the thought of some things is enough to get a guy to struggle against those cage bars! 🙂

There are several ways to handle a fantasy. Some are like, “Woohoo! I want to do that right now!” Others are like, “well, let’s look in to how to do that right but it sounds awesome so let’s explore.” Some might be like, “I’m not sure I’m into all of that but I did like __________ and I would love to try that part.” And still others are like, “Holy shit you cray cray in the hay hay!” Those fantasies may be better off left as a fantasy inside your nutty little head. Haha however that’s not to say those “head fantasies” cannot be used later to mindfuck your partner.

My point in all of this (mostly to the newer Keyholder or partner in charge) is to remind everyone that we are not at all responsible for fulfilling fantasies. We certainly can, and will I’m sure, but it is in no way a requirement of any relationship. They can be just as fun fulfilled as they are talked about.

So now… what are your fantasies? I’m putting out a request, I’d love to hear one of your favorite fantasies that has been fulfilled, that you wish was fulfilled or that is just a really hot thought in your head.

Please leave a comment or send us an email! 🙂

Why Would Anyone Want Their Dick in a Cage?

Posted by JonMustWait on December 18, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I used to feel the same way.

There was a time when I was younger that my main kink was tease & orgasm denial. I was very turned on by the idea of being brought to the edge of orgasm over and over, but not be allowed to cum – for hours or even days at a time. Bondage, of course, came along with this as well, reinforcing the idea that I was dependent on the woman teasing me to give me an orgasm when she desired.

While indulging in my fantasies by reading stories and such, I would frequently come across the subject of male chastity. I didn’t quite get it. “I want to be teased, not left alone and ignored!” was my thought process. I wanted the woman to play with me, drive me crazy, and make me beg to cum. How was that supposed to happen with my cock locked away in a contraption that kept it from being touched?

I’m not sure when the tide began to turn, but the sense of control started to fascinate me. My OD fetish was basically a control fetish – giving up control of my orgasm to someone else. Male chastity had the same principles, only more so – not only would my orgasm be under control of someone else, but also my ability to touch myself, even the ability to simply get hard would be taken from me. And isn’t male chastity just a more personal, more intense, constant form of bondage?

THAT was when it really clicked for me.

I could not fathom what that must feel like – to be crazy horny and turned on, and yet not be able to do anything about it. Forget having an orgasm, even having an erection is not possible when in chastity. Could I handle it? Could I go weeks without an erection? Months?

And I will tell you this…. the feeling is even more mind blowing that I thought it could be.

I am still amazed and thrilled by the amount of power My Lady has over my sexuality. I only get hard when and if she allows it. I only get to feel the soft walls of her warm, wet pussy when she desires it. I only get to cum when she wants me to. And there is nothing I can do about it, besides beg and plead and accept her answer. Meanwhile, she gets to cum whenever and however she demands.

There are days I still look down and see the cage locked onto me, and I think, “Jesus, this is fucking CRAZY!” But, honestly, there is no other way I would rather have it. Ironically, her control over me gives me the freedom to focus on pleasing her. I know that if and when I’m allowed to fuck ML and cum deep inside her, I will have earned it through my devotion to her.

How’s The Air In There? – Breath Control

Posted by Michele on December 15, 2013
Posted in: Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 10 comments

My pussy needs a break and so do my stomach muscles! The past few days I’ve been giving cagedmonkey a pretty good go. Not only did he use the new sleeve I bought to fuck my horny pussy the other night but he’s also been servicing me by mouth quite a bit too. He’s sure does a fantastic job at making me cum over and over. So good, I’ve been pretty much doing crunches every time I have an orgasm. They are so strong and my whole body is involved.

The past couple of days I’ve been queening cagedmonkey quite a bit. I woke him up that way the other day. He was sleeping after work and I climbed up on him and sat right on his face. I pushed down so I buried his nose in my ass and completely covered his mouth with my dripping wet pussy. He woke up unable to breathe anything but the warm juices of my pussy. You really should have seen him wriggle!

I’ve started to play a bit with breath control with cagedmonkey recently. It’s an interesting kink and I really do get into it when I see him and his body react. Like last night I sat on his face a few times, each time a little longer. He really was begging and whimpering for me to stop but I kinda got into the power I had over him and didn’t want to. I continued to smother him over and over while rubbing my wet juices all over his face. That is about when he slipped off into subspace while I finished fucking his face and making him gasp for air. I’m starting to realize that I get extremely turned on by hearing cagedmonkey beg, whimper and grovel for me to stop whatever it is I’m doing.

He’s so obsessed with my large breasts, how could he not crave to be smothered by them? He really gets off on the fact that I can control whether he breathes or not by shoving my big tittie in his mouth and pulling his face into it to cover his entire face so he can take a breath only when I want him to. 🙂 Oh if only there was a way to share how sexy he looks when he gasps the air I let him have while he looks up at me with those shocked, big, beautiful, blue eyes.

This is obviously something to be very careful with. Blocking someone’s airway is never something to take lightly. It is not something I sprung on him, we’ve talked about it at length. I’ve tried a few things and I am well aware of how long he can hold his breath. Obviously holding your own breath is way different than when someone else is in control and the panic sets in. Though, that’s part of the thrill! I am hyperaware of his body’s reactions and although, I love when he starts to flail a bit, that is about the time I start thinking about giving him some oxygen. It’s constantly a work in progress and I’m sure I’ll push him further and further as we go along.

All I can repeatedly say is that I absolutely love exploring these wonderful things with the man I love completely and who I trust so deeply. I could never imagine exploring these things with anyone else but my cagedmonkey.

When the Other Shoe Drops – Domdrop

Posted by Michele on December 6, 2013
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 6 comments

I borrowed this from another website (can’t remember which now, sorry) to help me explain something I experienced for the first time last night.

“During BDSM play, both the dominant and submissive partner may experience feelings of euphoria caused by endorphin rush. After play is over, in addition to the drop in endorphins, the after-effects of power exchange, physicality, and emotional release during BDSM play may leave one or both partners feeling lost, sad, or anxious after play is over. Dominants may also experience feelings of guilt for having used and/or hurt their subs.”

The above quote is discussing Domme drop (or Top drop) which refers to the specific and temporary reaction one can have after an intense scene. It can happen anywhere from half an hour to a couple days after a session. Dominants can have a very strong reaction to the sudden dump of emotions. We play hard, we let out parts of ourselves that have likely never been exposed, we explore our predatory natures. Our bodies fill with adrenalin and endorphins. A Dominant can find themselves suddenly crying, depressed, guilt ridden, insecure, scared, or any combination of emotions and physical reactions. Some just become suddenly exhausted. Some have little or no reaction.

This is exactly what happened to me last night. We had a particularly intense session of submission for cagedmonkey. I grabbed ahold of my power and took him pretty rough with the strap on by the end of it. I was revved up, hot, horny, aggressive and feeling very powerful. It felt so good to push him around, position him where I wanted, do what I wanted to him. He both hated and loved every minute of it. He is definitely not a butt slut but does like that I want him like that. That I will use him that way, for purely my pleasure.

Last night was a work night for hubby so our time together was very limited but I was very much craving that power over him and wanted to force some submission on him. Usually after an intense session we end with some cuddling aftercare. It’s in our contract that I provide this for my subby hubby and I just love holding him after anyway. It’s beautiful having him lay on my chest and me hold him and tell him everything is ok and I love him. So last night the aftercare was extremely short. Cagedmonkey had to rush out the door to work.  

I think last night I realized that I, the dominant, need that aftercare just as much as a sub. About a half an hour after hubby walked out the door I was sitting here alone and just burst out crying for a few minutes. I started to freak out as to what the fuck was going on and even caused myself an anxiety attack. I took some anxiety meds and calmed myself down and started to research (yes, you’ll find I do a lot of that!). I just had to know what happened to me.   Let me tell you not to worry it is a short lived reaction. It was a sudden dump of emotions and my body needed to deal with them however it knew how… crying was that reaction apparently.

Dom and sub drop may happen for several different reasons. One cause is chemical. Adrenalin and endorphins are powerful chemical hormones in our bodies. When the hormones start to leave our systems it is not unusual to have symptoms similar to withdrawal. Fatigue, mood swings, depression, these are all common reactions to both Dominants and submissives. People process the chemicals in their bodies in very different ways and react to them in their own way too, so there is no way to know how a person’s going to react.  

The point of this post is help others Dommes (and subs) know that it’s important to understand what is going on in your body. It’s also important to understand that it’s normal to have these reactions, and they will go away shortly.