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The Power of withholding: What He Gets & What He Doesn’t

Posted by Michele on January 19, 2026
Posted in: Dominant, Power Exchange, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

I’ve been thinking a lot, recently, about what it means to truly control pleasure, not necessarily by force, but by intention. By choosing what is withheld, what is delayed, and what is never guaranteed.

My husband doesn’t always see what’s coming, and that’s exactly how I like it. The future I’m shaping for him isn’t about cruelty. It’s about refinement, it’s about teaching his body and his mind that access is earned. That satisfaction is conditional, and is something I decide how, and if, he even gets to experience. Some things he once took for granted may just go away. While other things will become privileges he learns to crave more deeply than he ever expected. And then, of course, there are the carefully chosen allowances. The moments I let him have just enough to stay hopeful… and obedient.

We celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary this past weekend, and it turned into this eye-opening conversation about where we’re headed. We were curled up on the couch after dinner, when the talk shifted from our early kinky days to sketching out the edges of our evolving power exchange. It’s never been smooth sailing… there’s vulnerability in admitting what turns us on, especially when it pushes boundaries. But that’s the beauty of it: laying it all out there, just us figuring out what keeps the spark alive after two decades.

One thing that’s becoming non-negotiable, is the new baseline for my husband. His morning routine has changed. Before he even steps out of the bedroom, Jon will be teasing and edging his cock. It’s this deliberate start to the day that I  control completely, stroking slow and firm, pumping just enough to make pre-cum bead at the tip. No release, just that lingering ache as he gets dressed and heads out to the living room. If the mood strikes during the day, John and/or I might text him to edge himself in the bathroom at work.. fingers sliding up the underside of the head of his cock, squeezing his balls lightly… And, as always he is required to send a photo of his straining dripping dick as proof. It’s not every day, but when we choose to ramp it up, it keeps him connected to us and his mind buzzing.

Layered on top of that, the buttplug requirement adds this undercurrent of constant submission. I’ve picked out a few sizes/styles, for the days we designate… Tuesdays and Fridays, when he’s got specific, scheduled, things so he can stay consistent with it. And, if John and I are feeling playful, we might make him wear it longer or on different days or even use the NJoy wand to his prostate.

Our anniversary chat took a turn toward the horizon, though, where things get even more intense. I floated ideas about stripping away sensations entirely, making his world narrower and more controlled. Imagine no skin-on-skin contact at all. Or dialing it back so he can’t feel my pussy anymore, that slick heat clenching around him, denied… forever? We talked about limiting him to just John’s hand… strokes that bring him to the edge but never over. It’s a way to reshape his arousal, funneling it through us in ways that challenge him.

And then I pushed it further, to the extreme: what if the only path to an orgasm, or even an erection that leads anywhere, is through a man? What if he was forced to use his ”boyfriend” toy to fuck his own ass or to slide his dick in and get off? What if we took it as far as forced gay encounters as his sole outlet, him on his knees, taking a stranger’s cock down his throat or bent over, ass filled while he begs for release. No cumming unless it’s  in some guy’s ass (or some guy in his) or mouth, the humiliation twisting into fuel for his submission. I’d like to say this caused him to shift uncomfortably on the couch, as I described it, but honestly… his dick got rock hard.

We didn’t commit to any of that extreme stuff, yet of course, but it sure was fun talking about it and seeing his reaction to the possibilities. Who knows if we just unlocked a door we might step through someday. It’s not about changing who he is; it’s about expanding what he craves under my control.

Control isn’t just about what I take away. It’s about what I leave behind. The reminders that his pleasure still exists…just no longer on his terms. What he will miss will shape him. What I allow him to have will define him. And what I choose not to promise at all will keep him exactly where I want him: attentive, aching, and beautifully aware that his future pleasure lives entirely in my hands.

After all, anticipation can be far more powerful than fulfillment. And I have every intention of making the most of that.

It all begins in the mind

-M

I Guess it’s Going to be a NOvember

Posted by Michele on October 29, 2018
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

Football and Cheer season is juuuuuuust about over here in Monkeyland lol. We’ve had a very long season that felt like it’s gone on forever. We actually have one more cheer competition coming up this weekend but football and practice is done. Which means no more reason for my super horny, long denied, hubby to take off his cock cage. I don’t regret it at all since our kids won’t be young forever and I know that they will look back and remember that we were very involved parents when it comes to their sports and other activities. Now that we have time to get a little more back into our kink, I did some thinking today. We won’t have a ton of time but more than we did and, like I mentioned, now there isn’t the excuse of coaching to remove the cage.

This morning I realized that I’m really wanting CM to remember just who owns him and his body and his sexual pleasure. I also want him to remember what is important in this dynamic. That’s my pleasure and what I want. What I want for about the next month is to have CM locked him his cage 24/7. He needs that intense reminder that I control his cock and I’d I want it locked it will be locked and if I want it out it will be out.

The other part of this will be that each evening he will be having some kind of ass play while his cock is locked. That could mean he’ll wear one of our butt plugs – the njoy’s or even the remote plug – or he could be instructed to use a toy on his ass and maybe the wand as well to get his cock dripping precum from his cage. On the nights, when possible, I will likely have him get out the little tripod or selfie stick and take me some really slutty pictures. It would be so humiliating to have to take pics & video of himself violating his own ass because I told him to. Then I can choose to show friends the pictures or maybe even post them on the blog.

I did explain to him that I want him to do this for me and use these toys to keep his ass ready for me… You know, should I have a need to use his ass for something it would be ready. I know, after a couple weeks of being used daily with no use of his penis he might get to a point of wanting to stop… And it won’t stop until I say it stops. He really has no choice in the matter.

So, hopefully, we have a few exciting weeks coming up here in November! 🙂

What a Lovely Reminder

Posted by Michele on March 7, 2016
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

I just thought this was something fun to share. Every day when cagedmonkey gets dressed and gets himself socks, he opens the dresser drawer and finds a lovely little reminder of who he belongs to. A few little things inside the sock drawer as a way to remember who controls his sexual pleasure, who controls his cock, who keeps it locked up in a cage to use when she pleases. I think it’s nice that, not only does he have his Jail Bird on every day to remind him, he also gets that unspoken visual treat, knowing he wears that collar for me and is plugged whenever I want him to be
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Sleep? No! Tease and Torture Instead

Posted by Michele on July 11, 2015
Posted in: Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

A little tease and torture fun with the wand this morning. Cagedmonkey was trying to sleep but I decided I needed some good old fashioned playtime haha. I went in and set my wand between his legs, under his balls so that it was vibrating his base ring and getting a bit of his prostate. I lubed up the small nJoy butt plug and worked it in his tight little ass.

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I continued to use the wand all around his balls, ass and all the parts in between. I loved seeing his ass clench and wiggle and hearing him moaning. I just love watching and hearing him react to my touch.

After that I left him there, plugged to try to get to sleep. A little while later I went in to change into my bathing suit and decided to rub my wet horny pussy on his face. He was left again to sleep, plugged and covered in my juices.

Pegging Preparations

Posted by JonMustWait on March 2, 2015
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , , , . 10 comments

My Lady just instructed me to put in the small butt plug – just in case she she decides to peg my ass later tonight, she wants me to be ready. 🙂

The small butt plug isn’t all that uncomfortable anymore. I’ve gotten used to the size of it, although the stimulation on my prostate is quite intense.. especially after a month without release. It’s a different experience without the cage on, as my cock tends to stay at least half hard with the constant anal stimulation.

The large butt plug (which ML may have me use later, if she desires) is a different story. The huge head on it really stretches me out and I really have to take it slow to be able to insert it. Once it’s in, it takes a moment or two to adjust to being filled up so much inside. After that, it’s almost more of a pain the remove it than to keep it in (literally).

ML hasn’t pegged me in a while, but she  has wanted to ever since the new steel collar arrived. She has already used the collar on me as a way to control me, grabbing it and using it to pull me in for a kiss or a pussy lick, etc. But she hasn’t used it as a “pegging handle” yet. I’m wondering if tonight is the night.

Njoy Large Plug, Take 2

Posted by JonMustWait on January 15, 2015
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , , , . 1 comment

As our Twitter followers may already know, I’m currently writing this post with the large Njoy butt plug stuffed up my ass.

ML took the kids out for a few errands this afternoon, giving me some much appreciated alone time. She gave me an assignment before she left, though – get the large butt plug and fill my ass up with it. Our first try with the large plug didn’t go so well. This time, with an empty house and with me doing the inserting myself, I was hoping for a better outcome.

After everyone left, I fetched the plug and the lube and got on my knees in the center of the living room. I spread some (extra, EXTRA) lube on the plug and I reached back to slowly begin the process of opening up my ass to the plug. I had to take it slow, pushing the tip in millimeter by widening millimeter. It was somewhat humiliating, being on my knees stuffing my ass with a metal butt plug, bent over with my head down and ass up in order to help my ass accept the plug better, moaning as the steel pushed further into me. When ML texted me to see how it was going, she instructed me to tell her what I was doing and how it felt. Painting the picture for her only added to my humiliation.

Going slow, I was able to get the plug into my ass pretty deep without too much pain. Then, when the head of the plug passed through my asshole, my ass sucked the rest of the plug in. I was not prepared to be completely filled that fast, and I collapsed onto the floor moaning and rolling around as my ass accepted the hunk of metal that had invaded it.

As I sit here, about an hour later, my ass has still not stopped throbbing and twitching. My ass wants this plug out; it keeps trying to push it out, but without success. I’ve been trying to calm my muscles down, but I cannot control them. They are squeezing and quivering on their on accord. It feels strange to have my asshole twitch, not only involuntarily but completely against my will. Even stranger is the fact that no matter how badly my ass wants to push the plug out, that plug is going absolutely nowhere.

Oh yes, one other thing… precum. I am very well aware of the sensation of the plug sitting on my prostate, and every couple of minutes or so I feel my cock gush precum. It’s not just dripping but literally gushing out, almost pooling inside the Revenge before emptying into my underwear.

ML texted me quite a few times to tell me how excited she is that my “slutty ass” was able to take the plug. When I told her I could feel lube leaking in my undies, she texted me the following:

So what… you can be my ass plugged lube leaking slutty bitch 🙂

I’ll be wearing the plug for most of the night. My Lady wants to watch me when I remove the plug. She wants to rub her pussy while I “moan like a little bitch” when the plug comes out.

It’s Not My Turkey That’s Stuffed and Tied

Posted by Michele on November 27, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments

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Oh what a sexy Thanksgiving it is this year. I’m enjoying the Macy’s parade on TV and, later, some Detroit Lions football! What could be better than a lazy day at home with family, food and football??

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I really need to get me one of these shirts!! 😛

This morning has been interesting, I woke up with a lot on my mind. Some of it is vanilla everyday things and a LOT of it is kinky things. The main kinky thing is the reson for this post but the other stuff is just as important. When I got up I realized how thankful I was for this life I’m living. I’m thankful for all those normal things, family, health (as much of me is healthy), my kids, a wonderful home to live in etc… but then I realized I’m SO thankful for much more. As I did the rounds, and was emailing friends, I realized how thankful I am for THIS part of my life, the kinky part. I adore our readers and lurkers and am so thankful for them. I’m so thankful for the amazing friends we have made through all of this. Without our readers or the friends we’ve made we wouldnt have anyone to share this with. For me, thats such a great part of this. I love sharing my experience. So thank you to all of you for being here to share in this with us! <3

I have been trying to write this post all morning but the kids are very cuddly on mommy this morning. However, hubby is “sleeping” in the bedroom and enjoying(?), well maybe not so much enjoying but ENDURING his Thanksgiving morning! It’s no parade for him this morning, hahaha! I have my honey stuffed with the small njoy plug, tied to the bed and the wand secured around his cage. What an amazing way to spend your thanksgiving morning, don’t you think??

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About a half an hour into having him restrained like this I received a few texts and nothing does them justice like just taking a screenshot. He really was having a tough time because the wand was giving him just enough to edge him and keep him wanting to cum but he just wasnt getting pushed over. I told him he likely wouldnt want to cum because that wand was just going to give him some massive Post Orgasmic Torture, simply becausI have no plans to turn it off if it does happen. 🙂

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The best part of all of this is when I went in there and straddled the wand, just like it is there, and gave myself one awesome orgasm. I soaked right through my panties! Fuck it was fantastic! I did torment him a good portion of the morning already. He is still restrained and the wand secure but I turned it off for now to give the wand a rest and… well, lets be realistic here, with two young kids on Thanksgiving day I do need to have another functioning adult in the house or I’ll pull my fucking hair out. As much as I would love to make him sleep deprived (that is another fantasy of his) I dont feel like dealing with a crabass all day on my holiday.

I hope each and everyone of you (in the USA) have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Take a few minutes to really think about what you’re thankful for. To those of you who are in the rest of the world, I hope you enjoy your day as well.

Stuffing His Ass – Njoy Pure Plug Large

Posted by Michele on November 26, 2014
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

As you have probably read, I’ve wanted to up cagedmonkey’s plug time. I’ve been doing that with our small njoy plug. I wanted more of a full feeling for him, wanted to stuff him a bit fuller so I recently ordered the njoy pure plug large (gotta love a good deal on Amazon!). The plug arrived last night so we didn’t get a chance to play until this morning.

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The large plug is a bit larger than the small but I didn’t feel like it was too large! I thought he could just handle it. Maybe I had high hopes lol. These are the only plugs we own so we don’t have anything that gradually gets larger. It’s small and large and that’s it.

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This morning I decided I would give it a try with no lead up, with no ass play, with nothing but lubing up the Large njoy and stuffing it in his ass. Well, in looking back, that may not have been the best choice. He was a super subby hubby and he did try but it hurt. I realize we will need to have some of that lead in. He will have to graduate to wearing that plug by starting with the small or by having some ass play with the probes first to loosen up that tight little sexy asshole. 🙂

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I am excited about getting him there because the plug is so sleek and sexy. It’s very solid and heavy. I know it will make him feel full and controlled by me, not to mention causing his caged cock to drip loads of precum. Even with just getting the plug in there this morning, his prostate is so full he had a small puddle of precum left on the bed that he’s currently sleeping in.

Feel my Control & nJoy That Plug in Your Ass

Posted by Michele on November 8, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 6 comments

I’m sure it must be wonderfully frustrating to be woken up to a cold steel butt plug being stuffed in your tight asshole. Yeah… that’s exactly what I just said to cagedmonkey as I went in to visit him this morning and stuffed his ass with the nJoy.

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The steel plug we have is only the small nJoy but I really do want to get the Large one very soon. I know Thumper has a few different plugs and I might have to talk to him about the ones he uses. One of the things I want to start with hubby is more use of the plug. With his incredible horniness and my intense teasing his prostate is swollen and the plug bounces and pushes against it forcing precum to drip and is a constant reminder of who owns his gorgeous little ass. The steel wrapped around his big manly cock is another reminder of who owns him… all of him… his mind, his body, his soul. Me, I own it… it’s mine all mine. I want him to forever and constantly be reminded of the control I have over him, the control he has given to me with his submission and devotion to me and our marriage.

This weekend we plan to discuss the “Daily tasks” that will be starting for cagedmonkey. It’s not a lot, it’s not domestic housework. It’s those things I want him to do to help show his submission and devotion to me. Those little things a sub does to show their dominant partner that they are thinking of them and doing those things they know would please them.

Teased and Tormented Cock

Posted by Michele on May 23, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

You all should know well enough by now that I enjoy making things very frustrating for cagedmonkey. I also like to keep those frustrating things fresh and interesting, who wants a bored sub?

I’m pretty sure you’ve all been following along and know that cagedmonkey is in a 3 month denial period. His last orgasm was on March 10 and his “Maybe Day” is his birthday in June. I may or may not allow him to cum. I’m definitely deciding once we get there because I may just want to keep him in this lovely constantly horny for me state. I may want to leave his cock in this hair trigger way where any little touch has him instantly hard – if I allow him out of his cage that is – and aching to cum. I may want to leave him in this state of constant arousal for a bit longer.

So let me tell you all about the torment that cagedmonkey will endure over the next two weeks. I began this yesterday but what happens is when hubby gets home from work I take him upstairs for bed and restrain him to the bed. Then I roll him onto his side a bit, put a little of the peppermint lube on the njoy plug and use it to tease his asshole just a little bit before inserting the plug. After him being plugged all day yesterday and having that pressure on his prostate he was leaking precum like crazy. I mean literally dripping huge drips, practically on the verge of milking. Once his sexy little ass has accepted the plug I roll him on his back, remove his Jail Bird and this is where the progression comes in. You see, he will be tied to the bed and plugged every morning before he goes to sleep and each day he will get stroked and edged. The difference is that each day the amount of time I edge him increases by one minute.

So yesterday morning he got stroked and edged for one minute straight and this morning it was two. I realize after a few days here I’m going to have to really resort to using the “Up Only” trick so he doesn’t accidentally spill cum when he isn’t allowed to. 🙂

So far it is great fun watching him squirm and moan and breathe all heavy every morning. I’m really just loving it and by the time I’m done my pussy is dripping, sloppy, wet and oh so horny. That’s when I take advantage of the situation and I go up for a visit a few times and sit on his face, cum all over him and walk away.

Though the first time I went up for a visit yesterday I was overly wet and horny. After cumming all over his face once I grabbed the face dildo gag from the bedside table and used it to fuck myself with his face while he was forced to watch just inches away. He was moaning and cursing as best he could with the gag in his mouth. I’m sure it must have been crazy to watch my pussy being filled up with a dildo so close even to the point of his nose being right in it. I came nice and hard on the dildo gag as he lay there restrained, used and denied.

What fun it is to torment him with such pleasure. I’m super horny again today and I’ll definitely be needing to go up for some facesitting soon!

On a side note: I have some new books and a new hood coming in the mail today… can’t wait to maybe incorporate the hood into this progression play! It’s got a zipper mouth! Eeeeeeeeee! I’m such an eager little beaver! 🙂