KeyHolder

Podcast Episode 4 – Extramarital Submissives

Posted by Lady M on September 3, 2016
Posted in: FemDom, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Podcast. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

We had quite a bit of fun on Twitter this past week and it sparked some questions from a few people about just what it means for me to take on an extramarital submissive. We thought we’d take a few minutes to chat about what works for us and how we do things.

I did write a post on this subject a while back and had some of the subs I had during that time to write a comment on that post just telling what it is that I do for them.

Another post I wrote on Male Chastity & Cuckolding can be found here. This could be helpful for some. 

We hope you enjoy the latest podcast, right click here to download or listen now!

It’s Work For Us Too – Podcast Episode 3

Posted by Lady M on August 22, 2016
Posted in: Advice, D/s, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Podcast, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 3 comments

I often get asked by submissive (guys mostly) if I think they are doing a good job at pleasing their Mistress/Dominant partner. I honestly have to tell them, “I don’t know!” They will describe the things they do and they certainly seem pleasing to me. I even get asked for ideas on how to please their Mistress… that is the most difficult question because I am not their Dominant and everyone on this planet (and I assume on other planets lol) is different and what is pleasing to one person may not be pleasing to another – the most important thing here is communication. That’s what I’m talking about here, click to have a listen to my latest raw, unscripted Podcast.

As I said in my podcast here are a couple links to some posts I think would be helpful.

Praise & Reassurance

It’s the Little Things

A Little Tease Here, A Little Tease There

Tease Techniques

I’m sure there are other posts here, over the past almost 3 years that would be helpful. Feel free to use the search bar at the top right of the page and hopefully you can find something that will help you along on your journey. If not, send me a message and let’s chat! Thanks again for reading and listening and I look forward to hearing your thoughts so please feel free to comment!

An Online Keyholder and Task Master/Mistress

Posted by Lady M on June 2, 2016
Posted in: D/s, FemDom, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Recently I started working with Mistress Ivey on her new journey at Ivey’s Keys. It’s been quite fun and even a learning experience working with my subs. I am very much enjoying the interaction, the tasks and ask of the people in general.
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What We Offer Submissives
This is a “Member’s Only” website and we have a great deal to offer. As a paid member you have access to the entire site, not just the blog area. You can get a Keyholder who will Control your Orgasms, you Chastity (if you want), give you tasks to perform, a shoulder to cry on, and a spanking when you need it. You will be able to visit the Daily Task Master, Play our Chastity & Orgasm Control Games, Watch our Tease & Denial Videos, and Join our Submissive’s Group! You will be able to send Private Messages to your Keyholder or anyone you want to communicate with.

What We Offer Keyholders
As a Keyholder, you will be in charge of one or more submissives who will do their very best to please you. Even to the point of paying Tributes for allowing them to be Locked in Chastity or even earning Orgasms . As a Keyholder you have greater access to certain parts of the website. You will be able to access our Tasks Library and submit Posts as well as secret pages designed to make your key holding easier and more effective.

Once you have paid your membership fee at PayPal you will sent to our
Official Registration Page. Once you register the entire site will open up to you.

Membership has it’s privileges!

Reminding my Husband Who’s in Control

Posted by Lady M on December 8, 2015
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 1 comment

I get questions all the time from other wives or girlfriends who have their guys in chastity. Some of the most frequently asked questions are about how I keep things fresh, how I keep him teased, how I remind him of my control over his cock. Honestly, I’ve said it before, chastity is not a “lock it and leave it” thing. Chastity takes a little work on the keyholders part. Unless of course it’s your kink to be locked up and the key tossed away never to be used again. That is certainly not how most… no, all, of the guys I know want it. They want to feel the control, the tease, the denial. They do not want to be locked up and forgotten about. So, how do I possibly make time to keep him teased and denied and reminded of my control?

A lot of this is mental, so there is that. The words and phrases I choose, how I say something, it all helps in reminding cagedmonkey who controls him and his sexual pleasure… Or torment! Then again, much of this is physical, too. There really, truly is a need to feel the physical control. Not that we need to be constantly stroking and edging our guys – though I’m sure they’d love that – but we do need to remind them physically. For those of us using chastity devices, that’s one constant reminder. He can feel that cage you keep locked on him so it is there to say “hey, she holds the key to your cock.”

Sometimes I have to get creative in my reminders. Since we don’t have a lot of time these days for long D/s sessions I need to find interesting ways to keep the tease and denial going. If you follow us on Twitter, you know, a lot of times I’m sending him pictures of myself and my sexy parts. I’m sending him texts about how horny I am and how I’m masturbating. I make sure to remind him of how lucky I am that I’m not locked in a chastity device and I can give myself an orgasm any time I want.

I’ve decided that our lack of alone time together doesn’t mean our D/s or tease and denial time needs to suffer. This morning after getting hubby’s lunch together, I snuck the small vibrator into the front pocket of his lunch bag. Once he left I texted him instructions to retrieve it and click it to a certain setting and place it under his balls, just far enough behind that it vibrated his prostate, for the drive. After a certain amount of time I had him switch it to another setting and then again another. I had control over him for the entire hour that he drove to work. He was an extremely horny dripping mess by the time he got to work. I love that he had to go into work with messy underwear. My little form of private public humiliation.

This little bit of surprise play completely reminded him of how much I love him and love controlling his sexual pleasure. He could feel my control all the way to work and I’m sure the residual submissive feelings are still with him a few hours later. I love finding ways to keep the kink alive, so to speak, when our alone time is not in abundance. I plan to find other wonderfully simple ways to keep reminding him just who is in control of his cock and his sexual pleasure!

We’ve Been Talking Orgasm Denial

Posted by Lady M on December 7, 2015
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. 8 comments

Over the past couple weeks cagedmonkey and I have been talking a lot about his orgasm denial. When we started this whole denial thing 15 years ago, the longest we ever made it was one month denied. Usually the tease and denial lasted a short time from one play session to hours or days. It was so hard to get to that point back then. Since we started with male chastity over 2 years ago, denying him comes a little easier.

Hubby and I have learned something over the past two years. While there are some things we totally are not interested in, there are some things that are well, interesting to look at or think and fantasize about. Maybe we will never try them but we’ve learned that we can never say never, simply because there have been things we’ve tried and been like “whoa that was awesome, no idea why I like it but I do” and there have also been things that we were like “nope didn’t like that and never doing that again.”

When it comes to hubby’s orgasm denial, two years ago we never thought we’d make it to one month let alone the 3 or 4 we get to now. Our conversations recently have gone on to talking about 6 months to a year of orgasm denial. We have actually talked a lot about if we really think that we could do one year. Really the discussion is whether I could make it denying him for an entire year. He really has no choice in the matter. Two and a half years ago my husband ask me to take complete control sexually. I gladly took control of when and if he receives any sexual pleasure and if, when and how he will orgasm. So it basically comes down to, if I choose to deny him for a year, he will be denied for a year.

One of the things I made quite clear to him was that I could probably pretty easily keep him denied orgasm for a year but there was absolutely no way in hell I could keep him locked in a device that long without having him. I told him I NEED him, NEED his cock and NEED the connection of intimacy with him. I can manage to lock him 24/7 for about a month but I struggle by the end. That is something I will say never about… I will NEVER keep him locked in a device unused for a year. I know for a fact I could never.

So denial of orgasm for a year I can totally see happening and we are going to spend 2016 trying to get there but I will be unlocking and using him for my pleasure as often as I damn well please! 🙂

What about you? Do you think you could be denied for 6 months? A year? Do you think you could deny your guy his orgasm that long? Do you think your keyholder could keep you denied that long?

Seriously, Does it Get Any Better Than This?

Posted by Lady M on October 12, 2015
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . 6 comments

I just think this is the sexiest thing… My beautiful subby hubby locked up in a steel cock cage for me. It really doesn’t get any better than this.

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In other news… I’m extremely horny and I’m going to masturbate, probably multiple times today, because I am not locked in a cage and I can! 🙂

Can’t Hide It Sometimes

Posted by Lady M on July 17, 2015
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

Yesterday, cagedmonkey got out of the shower and came out into the living room in his tshirt and underwear. While I think it’s super sexy, I had to point out that he needed to be careful. He happened to be wearing a pair of white microfiber boxers and, well, they hug in just the right places!
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I do love catching a glimpse of his cage like that but we also need to be careful of stuff like that so the kids don’t. It’s awesome seeing him locked up, for me.

Feeling My Control

Posted by Lady M on July 16, 2015
Posted in: Bondage, Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

A little while ago we took a small break from, “you’ll be locked XX long…” and “you won’t cum for XX days…” and things got very relaxed and unknown and, dare I say, UNFRUSTRATING. It was ok and it was nice not to have to plan things out for a bit but it also made me realize I actually enjoy planning things out. I enjoy knowing what I will be doing next and, even if I decide to change things along the way, having a basic plan for things makes things more comfortable for me and cagedmonkey (I think). A few weeks ago I decided that, as a couple doing the male chastity thing, we needed some good intense D/s feelings. I wanted cagedmonkey to feel a deep sense of my control. With the relaxed unknown there also seemed to be less feeling of control.

To put that sense of control back in full force, I decided to keep cagedmonkey locked 24/7 in his Jail Bird with zero release. I figured a good month would get him in the proper, super horny and submissive mindset. Well it certainly has not taken that long to get his dick to understand as he wrote. I actually love that he is back to being full time horny as fuck and dripping precum!

Not only did I feel we needed some cage time without parole but I knew with the relaxed attitude and everything else going on (ie. Job searching, moving, etc) that the dominance and intensity level were sinking. I think we’ve both felt it. I mean, we both know who’s in charge, but the servicing and pleasing me part was quickly becoming nonexistent. I know why I backed down from the domination and it’s because cagedmonkey was already stressed out enough and, I feared, pushing him might cause some pretty bitchy behavior. I don’t like bitchy behavior.

So the other day, now that hubby’s new job and our new home is settled, I felt it was time to bring back the aggressive, domination. I started using cagedmonkey for my pleasure all day long and utterly frustrating him. His cage was pushing hard away from his body and his cock struggling so hard against the confines of his Jail Bird. I restrained him to the bed and visited very often using his face, caged cock and any other part of his body to get myself off. He was left there all day covered in my cum. He ultimately broke the cuffs that day, so we will have to get another pair that are comfortable enough for him to sleep in and for long term.

It’s been fun bringing back my dominance and letting out my aggressively horny self. I love the way he looks at me when I grab him and take him and get forceful and aggressive. That “holy shit I love this” look in his eye as I do things to him and make him please me just the way I want to be pleased.

I can’t get enough and I look forward to letting more of my natural aggressiveness take over in the coming weeks. I’ve got powerful cravings for power and control and dominance. Hubby has a week off at the end of July, too and I plan to take advantage of his time off work. 🙂

“Maybe Day” Orgasm Denial Anxiety

Posted by Lady M on May 25, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , . 4 comments

The other day I wrote about how I was taking a break from setting a “Maybe Day” for cagedmonkey. I got quite a few comments on the post, all of them kind of referring to the same thing, so I thought I should clarify a few things. I don’t want there to be any mistake about who is in control at any point in our relationship. However, a relationship is about two people and you need to do the things that work for each person so that emotionally and physically there is fulfillment.

Let’s back up some and get a little more personal. Cagedmonkey has allowed me to explain a few things about his childhood so you all understand him a little more. When hubby was a child his mom was very much a “don’t rock the boat” type person and he was more on the high strung side. As a way to avoid confrontation (or hubby having a temper tantrum lol) his mother would say things like “maybe later” or “we’ll see” never really giving him a straight answer. She didn’t want to be the one to tell him “No,” because he might get upset. It was sort of drilled into him that those “maybe’s” and “we’ll see’s” always meant no. Cagedmonkey is also the type of guy that needs to know that SOMETHING is definitely going to happen or not happen and SOME kind of time frame that it is going to happen or not happen in. Even if that time frame is “Yes, you WILL cum 3 more times in 2015” that gives him something to depend on. Whether or not he cums 9 times or only the 3 he has something to hold on to. He was pushed off by his mother and it felt like he was lied to so much as a child as a way to appease him that now as an adult he really does need to have something he can count on to ease his anxiety.

So, as I said, I got a few comments on my last post, like this one from one of my favorite ladies…

Mistress Marie said:

I love that you are changing this as this is how it really should be, you in full control with CM being clueless to know what your thoughts are on when he will cum. I think this is great because any day can be maybe day this way and he will never know.

I wanted to make sure that I addressed these comments because they make it seem like giving Cagedmonkey a “maybe day” is somehow taking away my control. This is entirely not true. I am in full control of his orgasms and sexual pleasure and I can give him and orgasm or not whenever and however I please. He is always clueless as to when I may make him cum. Heck, sometimes I’m clueless because it might creep up on me that I want him to! 🙂 Just because he has a maybe day does not mean I am stuck denying him until a certain date. I could give him a maybe date of July 4th and make him cum 5 mins later. The maybe day is a comforting thing for his anxiety and can be a challenge for me and him at times too.  Our last maybe date was set out at 6 months from his last orgasm. I wanted to try to push him (and myself) to 6 months of denial. I obviously didnt make it but that was MY choice because, after all, I am in control and I made the decision to allow him to cum – which was more for my pleasure than his. I didnt do it for him, I did it because I missed feeling him explode inside me. I missed feeling his body as he was cumming. I missed seeing his face and watching him enjoy that orgasm.

Since I told Cagedmonkey about needing the break he’s been very anxious, asking a lot of questions, making sure I’m not just pushing him off. He really was having trouble with the way things were up in the air. He really needs something solid to hold on to to function properly. I love that I know this about my hubby and while I did the up in the air thing on purpose to test out if he could handle it, I found a way to help him emotionally while leaving me to not deal with a maybe date. In other words, I found a loop hole of sorts to ease his anxiety. lol

I have decided instead of a maybe day where I’m trying to deny him until a certain date or time frame that I would simply give him an idea of what to expect for the time being. I explained to him that he could expect to be locked everyday, especially on his work days. He could expect to be denied but likely not more than a week or two and if I was enjoying myself and felt it would go longer I would tell him. He could also expect to be teased and tormented daily. I certainly do enjoy the build up of horny and I love that week to ten day point where it is at a high. That’s why at the moment his denial probably wouldn’t be much past that. I also told him he could fully expect that I could unlock him, use him and make him cum at any time during any of this. This seemed to go over very well and he seems to be much more calm about things and had stopped obsessing over when and how long, etc. Of course, this really is how it is EVERY day but it seemed to REALLY help to have me actually say the words and explain it out right to him. All of those things have been understood since we started all this but I think hearing them and seeing them written helped to give him that thing he needs to depend on and hold on to. He knows that I wont just tell him “we’ll see” and then not having something happen one way or the other. Cagedmonkey is just not that guy when we’re having sex and he asks “please may I cum, ma’am?” who can be told “maybe, baby.” He really needs a “yes, but not right now” or a “No, not tonight” answer.

I hope this helps clarify why we need to have a maybe day. Even if it kind of has no meaning (unless we are using it as a challenge for both of us) because, I control everything about his sexual pleasure anyway, it helps him mentally to know I’m not going to flake out on him like his mom would often do.

 

 

I Fully Control His Orgasms and Sexual Pleasure

Posted by Lady M on May 22, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 7 comments

The other day, after I allowed cagedmonkey to cum, we had a chat about what I had planned going forward.

It’s amazing to think that we are coming up on 2 years that I’ve been fully controlling hubby’s orgasms and sexual pleasure. Our actual chastity device wearing didn’t begin until October 2013 but it was June of that year that he asked me to take full control. We’ve been into tease and orgasm denial our entire relationship – that’s over 15 years! – but never to the extent that we are now. It was much shorter before, hours, days and the longest we had ever give over the years was a month. Now we hardly blink if I’ve kept him denied of orgasm for 3 months.

This last period of denial (which was actually 106 days, I think) was the longest I’ve had him denied. Getting to 3 months was actually pretty easy once it got there though it was almost excruciating for me to go the next two weeks or so that I made it. I was aching to feel him cum inside me. To feel his body shudder as he had that first orgasm after being denied so long. I truly missed how it felt to have that with him. It’s one thing to have sex or make love and not have him explode into me and it’s completely another to share that amazing feeling as we are cumming together in the high of sexual pleasure.

So, I told cagedmonkey that I wanted to take a break. For a second he looked at me, very sad, thinking I wanted to stop chastity and orgasm denial altogether. That wasn’t it at all! I comforted my confused boy and explained that I wanted a break from “Maybe day” and from pushing him and myself to go longer and longer in his denial. This decision had nothing at all to do with his chastity. As a matter of fact, I love that and he will be without his device very rarely for probably the rest of our lives. 🙂

I don’t know if cagedmonkey is still confused about what I mean but I have had to explain a couple times. What I want is to control his orgasms, which I already do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have him out of his cage, fucking him every day, making him cum. It means I’m going to decide moment to moment if I want that or if I want to deny him. I could literally not feel it one minute and yet another be like, “oh fuck baby cum in me!” I guess it might depend on how physically turned on I am, how emotionally turned on I am our how deliciously evil I’m feeling.

That’s really where I’m at right now. I don’t want to have to deny him, I don’t want to have to make him cum. I want to just control it moment to moment and if I feel like denying him for a week or 3, so be it. I just don’t want the set periods of time right now. I need a break from constantly pushing further and further.

I think this will ultimately be fun but also I think it’s already a bit frustrating for him. Like I said I’m not sure if he thought taking a break from denial meant that he’d cum every time we had sex or that HE’D get to choose when. That’s not it at all, I’m not handing him back control of his sexual pleasure at all. I’m just liberating myself from set periods of time that I have to try to do or fear disappointing him or myself because I didn’t make it to the time frame I was hoping.

I’m going to enjoy this and, when will we set a time again? I have no idea but I’m sure it won’t be too long because I do love that build up of horny while getting that denial going, trust me! 🙂