Wife Led Marriage

The Joy of My Lady’s Orgasm

Posted by cagedmonkey on June 14, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

I am truly lucky to be blessed with a KH that not only seems to be horny all the time, but is also highly orgasmic. Whether I’m licking her pussy, fingering her, or playing with toys, I absolutely LOVE giving My Lady an orgasm. And I am very thankful for the multitude of opportunities I get to make it happen!

Take today for example. My Lady came upstairs to tuck me into bed this morning, and we began kissing and cuddling as we normally do. I could feel her excitement growing as my hands touched her all over; her body was pushing closer to mine and her breathing had gottern more rapid and deeper. Instinctively, I slid my hand between her legs and into her panties; they were absolutley flooded with her pussy juice. I rolled ML onto her back and began to rub her slippery pussy lips and her throbbing clit. It didn’t take long for her to start thrusting her hips up towards my hand. Soon I felt her body tense as she came, struggling to keep her moans quiet to avoid alerting the children downstairs of our naughty fun.

Later on, after the kids went to bed, ML and I shared a shower together. We were both heavily turned on once again, ML pressing her wet naked body against me, my cock straining against steel. I took the opportunity of being in the shower to give ML a nice, good squirting orgasm (always a favorite in the shower because of the lack of clean up needed). My Lady had also brought Adam into the shower with us, and after a good hard cum she wanted to be fucked. I used Adam to fuck her doggy style, holding the rubber dick where mine would be if it weren’t confined by the cage. I fucked her from behind nice and hard, my hips slapping against her ass as I drove deep into her. With no need to be quiet, ML moaned louder and louder until she squealed as she came all over the fake cock. My cock twitched in its cage in jealousy as I felt her pussy squirt some more pussy juice down our legs.

Then, just before it was time for me to leave for work, I had the chance to make My Lady cum again. This time, she was laying on the couch when she called me over as I was in the middle of getting dressed. She pulled me down and forced me to kiss her before demanding I finger her pussy until the same. I gladly obliged! I stood over her, looking into her eyes as I slid two fingers deep into her horny wet pussy. She moaned deeply as she maintained eye contact; it was so fucking intense! I fingered her deeply and firmly, just the way she likes it, and she was close to orgasm within minutes. Her body was writhing and tensing as her orgasm approached. She reached up, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me down until our foreheads were touching. Then, My Lady looked directly in my eyes as her orgasm hit her. I could almost feel her sharing her intense pleasure with me, and I couldn’t help but moan in unison with her as her orgasm continued to flow through us both. She stood up on shaky legs and I stood up with a painfully constricted penis.

It really is a joy for me to be able to give My Lady such wonderful pleasures. One reason is because she looks God damn fucking sexy when she is cumming, but it’s not only that. My Lady and I share an incredible bond, a bond that is emotional and spiritual as well as physical in nature. ML understands that I will not be experiencing the pleasure of my own orgasm for quite some time, so she is gracious enough to share her pleasure with me through this bond. When she looks at me like she did on the couch, her eyes locked with mine as she reaches that height of pleasure that I cannot reach, I truly feel her giving me that energy. It is a special gift that I chersh every time, and it makes me want to give it right back to her over and over.

And over.

And over…. and over…..   🙂

Like the flip of a Switch, I Feel That Dominance Come Over Me

Posted by Lady M on June 11, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Sometimes I swear it’s like someone flips a switch in me and even if I try to fight it, the Aggressive in me comes out. Even if I’m in the mood to be lovey and romantic, this aggressive, dominant, controlling me sneaks out and takes over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to hide who I am but sometimes I don’t always want it rough and aggressive. Soft and sensual are nice too!

This morning I went up to tuck cagedmonkey in and we were snuggling and kissing and all of a sudden I felt that urge. That one where I feel the need to push him down hard into the bed, grab the back of his head and pull him in for a deep, hard kiss. That feeling when kissing him that I want to suck his tongue and give it that slight tug with my teeth. That feeling where I want to grab his nipple and give it that extra hard pinch. That feeling where I want to slide my hand down around his sexy little ass cheek, grab it good, squeeze it and pull him in toward my hips as I grind up against him. That feeling where I just want to ravage his body and fuck him hard.

However, we have quite the predicament. Hubby has been sentenced to a lengthy Jail Bird stay without release until August and mother nature has stepped in so I can’t even play with my favorite dildo (whom I’ve now named “Adam” after a friend who only wishes he could get a piece of this haha lmao!). So, I feel, in a few days when my cycle is over I’ll be using the RodeOh with Adam on hubby and getting my fill of being filled. Hehe

All of this certainly didn’t stop me from going up a bit ago to have a couple orgasms in front of hubby. I grabbed the wand, which works wonders through a pad, and gave myself a lovely orgasm. Then hubby asked if he could hold the wand while I came a second time, nice and hard, squeezing him with my thighs as I bucked my hips toward the ceiling.

Hubby has informed me that he’s feeling awfully subby today and is ready to do anything I ask of him… yes this turns me on and gets my wicked little mind working! 🙂

In For The Long Haul (or How a Forced Ruined Orgasm Got Me Locked Up 24/7 For Over a Month)

Posted by cagedmonkey on June 10, 2014
Posted in: Bondage, Chastity Device, Discipline, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

My Lady has been thoroughly enjoying teasing my cock over the past few days, knowing full well that my next orgasm will be many months from now. Today, she decided to continue her growing dominance over me by forcing my body to do her bidding.

I went upstairs to take a nap late in the morning to adjust my sleep schedule after the weekend, and ML followed me upstairs to tuck me in. Still looking to satisfy her bondage craving, she cuffed me to the bed and began stroking my cock as she kissed me; I was hard for her within a few seconds. ML then went and grabbed the wand vibrator from the side of the bed. She used an extra set of velco cuffs to secure the wand to the shaft of my cock. Then she hit the switch, sending powerful vibrations all over and through my cock. I moaned loudly and pushed my hips up into the air. It felt soooooo good.

ML petted my cock, her fingers feeling just as good, if not better than the vibrations from the wand. She leaned in close to me, and looked right into my eyes.

“I’m going downstairs. You better be a good boy and not spill your cum, otherwise I’m going to lock you up for a month and a half with absolutely NO time out.” Then she stood up and left the room. “See you in a while,” she said as she shut the door.

I knew right away that I was in trouble.

For starters, I already knew it was possible for the wand to force me into a ruined orgasm in this type of situation; it had happened before. It was only a matter of time before my body gave in to the incessant vibrations. I also knew by the look in ML’s eyes that she was dead serious; if I had an orgasm, I’d be in the cage until August most likely. Part of me wondered if ML set me up to fail, that she was using this as the opening to an extended 24/7 lockup we had discussed in the past. But, as always, I want to be a good boy for My Lady. So I tried to hold off. I took deep breaths, I let my mind wander to a number of different non-sexy subjects. And, miraculously, it seemed as though I was getting a handle on it. My cock was softening. I was going to make it!

Then, as my cock started to soften, the wand must have slipped just the tiniest fraction of an inch, sending sensations to a different area of my shaft… a much more sensitive area.

My cock was once again stiff in an instant. I could feel the vibrations flowing through my cock in waves. I tried as hard as I could to hold off, but I could feel the orgasm creeping up on me. Slowly, torturously it came nearer. I gave it one last effort, holding it back with all of my body. But it was no use.

I moaned loudly as my body gave in, my cock pouring cum out onto the bed sheets as it twitched against the wand. Much like the last time, the orgasm was by no means satisfying; I needed stroking on my shaft to give me a full orgasm. Instead, my cum-covered cock twitched helplessly against the wand, begging for more stimulation but receiving none. I moaned in frustration, knowing that not only would the ruined orgasm make my need to cum even worse, but that I also doomed myself to a month-plus of having no erections whatsoever.

My Lady came upstairs shortly after (she must have heard my moans). She acted as if she was disappointed in me – calling me a bad boy, disobeying his lady, getting messy when I shouldn’t.* Then she explained that she would uncuff me and I would immediately head downstairs, and put the cage on as I was taking a shower. “Make sure it’s comfortable,” she said, “because it’s not coming off for a LONG time!” I did as ordered, locking the Jailbird on my cock, wondering what it will feel like after a month and a half of not seeing or feeling my cock get fully hard. How frustrated will I be? How relieved will I be to get the cage off? Will I even survive it to find out the answers to these questions? I guess there’s nothing I can do but let time pass now.

*Note: My Lady did mention to me out-of-role later in the day that she meant for this to happen all along. She was most likely going to leave me up there until the wand ruined my orgasm no matter what. If I managed to hold off, thent he struggling I’d go through would be enough torture, but she REALLY wanted to lock me up 24/7 until our next vacation in August. I was very thankful she told me this. After all, I pride myself on being a good boy; knowing I was doomed from the start was somewhat comforting.  🙂

Domme Directed Dominance

Posted by Lady M on June 8, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 9 comments

Last night was amazing! I don’t think I’ve posted lately describing playtime so for those looking to get off, here you go, here’s a little word porn for ya haha 🙂

The evening started out lovely as cagedmonkey sent me out by myself to get my fingers and toes done at the nail salon. He took care of getting the kids showered and into bed while I got myself some wonderful, pampering, me time. What an amazing hubby man! I now have pretty purple fingernails and bright blue toenails. Hubby’s favorite color is purple so I picked it out just for him.

image

Once I got home we took care of the business side of things and I unlocked him, shaved him and we took a shower together. After we showered we had a couple drinks, watched some How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and things got frisky! I guess it doesn’t take long to go from watching tv to face-in-the-pussy when I’m sitting across from cagedmonkey on the couch, legs spread, mindlessly petting my pussy lips. He got very worked up and asked if he could please taste me. As if I’d say no to a little face time. 🙂

I let him get his little taste and back to his side of the couch he went. As we sat there talking and I was sipping my wine, I started rubbing my wet pussy lips. Since I never finger myself (only one other time), I told hubby I wondered what I felt like inside and gently slid my middle finger just inside my pussy. It felt so warm and soft and spongy. I could actually feel my g spot and started rubbing it. I told cagedmonkey I wondered what it would feel like in there if I came on my own fingers. He sat there eyes wide, watching as I slid my finger back and forth inside me. I rubbed my clit with my other hand and brought myself to orgasm. It felt so neat as my pussy squeezed and throbbed around my fingers.

After I came on my fingers I told cagedmonkey I wondered what I taste like. I asked him if I tasted good, should I taste myself? He looked at me with big eyes and said, “WHAT?!?!” I smiled my wicked little smirk and slowly put my cum covered fingers to my lips. He just gasped, “oh my God!” as I licked and sucked my fingers clean. It was driving him absolutely mad that I was doing the one thing he loves to do above all else, I was tasting my own pussy juices. I told him he should be stroking his cock and then I reached down with my whole hand and scooped up more of my gooey yummy cum. It was spreading between my fingers. I held it up and showed hubby and slowly brought it to my tongue. I looked hubby right in the eye as he was stroking and, again, licked and sucked each of my fingers clean.
image

Cagedmonkey sat there extremely turned on, edging himself as I teased him and I got up, walked over in front of him and sat my wet horny pussy right down on his cock. Just as quickly as I slid his cock in my pussy, I slid it out and knelt down to suck myself off of his slicked up cock. I think hubby may have stopped breathing as I did that. I was completely doing things out of my norm and he was astonished. I coated his cock a few more times like that and kept kneeling in front of him sucking his cock as if I were starving for it.

That’s when I told hubby that I would love to cum on his cock and have him shove his cock in my mouth and make me clean it off. He got up, laid me on the couch and before sticking his cock in me he brought me to a fantastic orgasm with his mouth. I guess he really wanted a taste too! With my pussy full of my fresh cum he slid his cock inside deep and thrust a few times to get it covered good with my juices. He pulled out his sopping wet cum covered cock, moved up to my face, grabbed the back of my head, tilted it slightly and shoved his cock deep, past my lips. I could feel his balls hit my chin as the tip of his cock opened my throat. He again thrust into my pussy while I rubbed my clit and came all over his cock and then forced his cock into my mouth. He did this repeatedly making me cum and then suck him clean. My eyes watered and I gagged on his big thick rock hard cock. I tasted different on his cock than my fingers.

When I’d had enough, I told him to stop but my body was not ready to stop having orgasms. I was so incredibly turned on by the whole situation I just HAD to cum… not once, not twice but three more times. I laid there breathing heavy on the couch, loving every bit of what just happened. Loving that I made him dominate me and directed him how to do it. It was just all so incredibly hot!

Hubby is home from work again tonight… I wonder if we’ll get up to some naked naughty fun stuff again.

Basking in the Sun

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 30, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

I’m not sure where I read it, but I remember a quote that goes like this:

The sun shines brightest on the man who just got out of prison.

Whoever said this is seriously spot on, I swear.

Today being the first day after being allowed to cum in nearly three months, I’ve been trying to soak up all of the relaxation the moment can afford me. That’s not to say that I’ve been totally “relaxed.”  🙂  I’ve also been taking advantage of the “denial break” that I’ve been granted by My Lady. Notice I didn’t say “chastity break” there; I’ve been wearing the Jailbird to work the past two nights. But that doesn’t bother me a bit when I have the opportunity to have wonderful spontaneous sex with my wife.

This change of situation has made me realize a few things. First, it’s obvious that I’m still horny for My Lady. The frantic edge of the want has been filed down, but the desire didn’t (and most likely will never) go away. I have noticed that my cock is a little bit slower at “standing to attention,” but I believe that’s a result of having so many orgasms after a period of having so few (a.k.a. none). If you haven’t run a mile in a year, you’ll probably start having a tough time after a few laps around the block. My cock just has to get its wind back, that’s all.  🙂

I have also noticed that, although I do like cumming in ML’s mouth twice a day (brag), I also enjoy how it feels when my horniness has hit a level so high it can only be reached through a lengthy denial. The conflicting feelings of being totally energized yet drained at the same time, the highs from pleasing ML and the lows of being denied my own pleasure… it’s one major mind trip. Nothing else can recreate it.

This experience has also allowed me to grow closer to My Lady, not only on a physical level, but on an emotional and spritiual level as well. The mutual orgasm we had as we made love last night was absolutely incredible. It was a wonderful moment for both of us to share. Having that moment with each other after waiting for so long accentuated just how powerful it was for both of us. It also showed us both that, no matter the length of denial My Lasy should choose, that connection of ours is so strong that it will never fade.

An Early Birthday Present

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 29, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 8 comments

My Lady and I have been going through some pretty intense experiences over the past week. I think we could both sense Maybe Day approaching next week. It was exciting, but it was also taking its toll on both of us.

Granted, it was probably more difficult on me than on ML. I could feel my horniness growing deep inside my gut and spreading to the outer limbs of my body. I had gone well past my longest period of orgasm denial. My balls were constantly feeling swollen and the veritable “blue balls” veins had appeared weeks ago. Even after ML gave me a milking over the weekend, I still found no relief. The finish line was near, but I was barely dragging myself there.

The denial of my orgasm was also having a not-so-obvious effect on My Lady. As time ran on and the intensity grew and grew, she began to ramp up her dominant side. She was taking advantage of my more and more often, cornering me and rubbing her wet pussy all over my face whenever she could. We began to do more bondage games, pushing the intensity further. ML eventually reached a plateau; she was no longer feeling the fun of dominating me.

“It feels like work,” she said to me this morning, which is the LAST thing I want it to feel like. I want ML’s control over me to be natural, to flow from her effortlessly. I don’t want her to fulfill a role she thinks I want her to. I want her to be her. If she feels like teasing me in cute ways one day, then bring it on! If she isn’t in the mood for any teasing whatsoever, no problem! She was starting to feel obligated, and neither of us wanted that. So I asked ML if we could take it easy tonight and just lay with each other and make love. Those were apparently the exact words she wanted to hear, as she responded with an empahtic YES!

Before ML brought the kids upstairs to bed, she handed me the key to the Jailbird and whispered to me to unlock myself for when she came back downstairs. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I didn’t expect this kind of love making! I quickly whipped the cage off and waited for her to come downstairs. We sat with each other for a little while, kissing as we slowly undressed. Once we were fully naked, ML got up and got her phone and told me to get ready to shoot a video.

As I hit record, she took my cock in between her beautiful tits and started rubbing them up and down my shaft. Oh my God, it felt so good! I was almost ready to blow my load in seconds. In between breathy moans, I told ML that I was getting close to cumming. I expected her to slow down, but she continues the titty fucking. I told her again, this time in a semi-pleading tone. She responded by simply shhhh-ing me and moving her tits up and down even faster. She continued until I could feel my orgasm hurtling towards me. There was no stopping it now!

And then I was cumming! I was having my first orgasm in 80 days, and it was hitting me hard. I moaned and whimpered as it pulsed through my entire body. I looked down at my cock, spurting cum all over ML’s titties (I thought there’d be a lot more, but then I remembered the milking session on the weekend). It just barely registered in my mind that I was recording the whole thing. Somehow I ended up getting a great angle on the whole thing!

My Lady cleaned the cum off of her tits, and I immediately laid her down on the couch and climbed on top of her. I entered her, and we truly made love. It felt so amazing to not have to slow down, or worry about accidentally cumming. In fact, since I had just had an orgasm, I was hanging in there pretty well. Still, it didn’t take all that long until I was ready to cum again. I picked up my pace and thrusted a little deeper, and just as my orgasm started I felt ML’s body tighten underneath me. Oh God, we were having a mutual orgasm… fuuuuuuuck it was beyond awesome. I could feel the waves of pleasure flowing through both of our bodies as we shared an intense orgasm. What a wonderful night.  😀

So, in the end, we came up a week short of the intended Maybe Day, but that’s why we call it Maybe Day. ML has the right to give me an orgasm sooner or later, completely up to her discretion. And she needed that closeness today. We both did. I’m not sure if the fact that it was 80 days factored in to her decision or not; she does love round numbers after all.  😉

My Lady sent me to work tonight wearing the Jailbird again. I am thankful for two things. Actually, make that three, with my orgasm being one (hehehe). I’m glad that I don’t have any guilty/down feeling about cumming. I’m not disappointed about not being made to hold out longer. In fact, I’m happy that ML made a decision that she wanted instead of just blindly pushing to Maybe Day. I’m not sure how my moods will be in the next few days, but right now I’m feeling good. I’m also thankful that I’m not mopey about going back into the cage. It felt good to go back in at ML’s direction. I don’t find myself feeling cheated or wanting more time out.

And what about the plan for my next denial stint? Neither of us are really sure where it’s going to go. ML has mentioned a number of options. She has thought about locking and unlocking me multiple times and perhaps not even giving me a real denial time – allowing me to cum fairly often for a little while. She has also mentioned the possibility of locking me up 24/7 with no release time until my birthday and seeing where it goes from there. Honestly, anything she chooses will be perfect as long as she makes the choice freely and without pressure.

Conversations in Chastity: Strength Comes From Within

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 23, 2014
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 comment

cagedmonkey: So…….. can I cum yet? 🙂

Lady: Uhhh, no love, it’s just not time for that. Especially when you’re at work.

cm: Of course. Why do I even ask? lol

Lady: Hoping one time I’ll actually say yes? 😉

cm: I guess so, although I have a hard time believing you will say yes. There have been times recently where you were so horny I thought you might cave in, but you didn’t. If you didn’t give in during those times, I doubt you’ll ever give in to me early.

Lady You’re right, I’ve become much stronger than in the beginning. At first I was still in the “need to please him” phase even if I didn’t think I was. Deep down I didn’t want to frustrate you, upset you, etc. It just caused me to be weak to your pleas.

cm: Now it seems like it’s the exact opposite – the more I beg and plead, the more you enjoy it and the harder you push me!

Lady It must be bittersweet that I’ve become so strong, huh?

cm: Honestly, I couldn’t be happier. I know that I can be honest with you about how I feel (sooooo frustrated!!!) and what I want (to cum sooooo bad!!!!), and not worry about influencing you or topping from the bottom. You truly are in full control, and I’m very lucky to serve a dominant with such a strong sense of what she wants.

Lady You are a lucky boy! Hehe 🙂 It wasn’t hard after awhile to embrace the frustration and let it entertain me. Once I was able to almost laugh at your situation, I began to really get enjoyment out of your frustration. I started enjoying the control of making you so incredibly horny for me. I just love getting you to that point where you HAVE to touch me just to feel my skin… because you’re THAT horny.

cm: And I definitely am that horny! Speaking of which…… can I cum now?

Lady No :)~

cm: Damn…..

The Key Between My Big Beautiful Tits

Posted by Lady M on May 18, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 16 comments

I got this really great green dress for my birthday from an aunt so I decided to wear it to church today. This is what my handsome hubby has had to look at all day long…

image

All day he’s been telling me how ridiculous it is that he has to stare at my boobs and the keys hanging there at my cleavage. I think it gets to him more knowing that the next time he gets to cum it will be on these tits while being videoed for later torment.

I’m not positive but there is a guy at church who had this thing for the keys around my neck. I noticed him taking a really good look today and I wonder sometimes if he knows and wants to ask about it haha. He is the one who asked me when I first started wearing it and I have him the “it’s the key to my treasure box” line. He gave me a little chuckle and accepted my answer back then. But… I do wonder because I see him looking! 🙂

Free Range Monkey

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 28, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments

imagesAGY9OJRH

Yes, that’s correct… I’ve been out of my cock cage for pretty much the whole day today! Going back to last night, actually, it’s just about 24 hours now. I had an appointment earlier today, and My Lady actually allowed me out of the house and not in her company without being locked up. I had to ask her if she was sure, I was surprised! Obviously I didn’t have permission to cum, but this was the most freedom I’ve had since ML and I started practicing male chastity.

And I’m not going to lie… it feels good.

Last night and early this morning in bed with ML, it felt really nice to just roll over and slide into her pussy on a whim. The spontaneity of ML grabbing me, squeezing me, stroking me through my clothing is so exciting. I really do like being unlocked!!

But, let’s not get carried away. This situation is just as frustrating as wearing the cage is. Those unexpected touches from ML are driving me mad, shooting my desire into the stratosphere and making me incredibly horny! All of the sex ML and I have been having since she unlocked me is great… but I need to cum. And each sexual encounter makes me need to cum even worse. Even walking around the house, I can feel my cock brushing against my clothing. I’m so sensitive after over a month of denial, it’s like I’m being constantly teased! Seems like the cock cage was doing me a favor. 🙂

And just because I say that I’m enjoying my (most likely temporary) freedom, that doesn’t mean I want to end our chastity play. Far from it! I do enjoy my freedom, but it is this freedom that makes being locked in chastity so intense and wonderful. And THAT is why ML and I do this – we have an intense sexual connection through denying me regular sexual outlets, allowing her to control all aspects of my pleasure, and having me serve and provide her with as much pleasure as she desires. A day or two of going “free range” is never going to change that.

 

Am I a Sadist?

Posted by Lady M on April 27, 2014
Posted in: Bondage, Breath Control, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

Sadist (sey-dist):
noun

1. a person who… receives sexual gratification from causing pain and degradation to another.

2. a person who enjoys being cruel.

So under the actual definition of a sadist, I am far from one. I do not enjoy causing pain or being cruel nor do I get anything remotely close to sexual gratification from it. Quite the opposite actually.

I’ve noticed that one thing Male Chastity has done for us is to open up communication and sexual exploration. We have experimented with the idea of things – usually through a good ear whispering mindfuck and found “Wow, that really turned me on!” That then kicks in my desire to research and explore that thing.

What I’ve found out recently is that I really (really, really, really!) love control. I’m not talking about controlling orgasms, I’m talking about controlling something at a much deeper level. I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable. Well that’s easy, right? Just bind someone up, handcuffs or rope work great. Yeah, you’re right, that’s pretty fantastic. I’m finding that I do really like rope and bondage but I’m talking even deeper than that! I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable at my own hands.

Let me try to explain it this way. I, kind of on accident, slid my hand up and around cagedmonkey’s throat. He got this incredible look of fear in his eyes, he gasped and a slight moan escaped his lips. That reaction caused me to squeeze just a little tighter and push up further under his chin. I leaned in and kissed him so deep and he let out a whimpering moan. I had him in my hands, at my will, he could barely kiss me back because I had such a strong dominant hold on his neck and jaw. I wasn’t choking him, he could breathe but I was close enough that the fear was there. The fear that I could easily lean into my grip and crush his trachea.

You may be wondering how I found out that I like this. That’s simple, just as I leaned in to give him that kiss I got such an intense jolt shoot through the middle of my body. It literally was a jolt of pleasure that shot up the center of me from my crotch up into my chest. It was so strong that it caused me to buck my hips, arch my back and let out a very throaty moan. Over the next minute or so I felt my body twitching and lurching, muscles tightening… wait a minute, I’m sure you know that feeling. To put it simply, having my husband in that vulnerable position and him reacting that way caused me to spontaneously orgasm. I was not being touched in a sexual way. I was merely straddling him like I always do.

Through our play we’ve already discovered I enjoy breath play and I knew I kinda liked it when I would hold cagedmonkey down. Pinning him to the mattress with my hands or my knees and using my own body and weight to hold him down against his will. We haven’t exactly explored that deeply but after this recent discovery, I’m positive we will.

At first I was very surprised at myself and maybe even a little scared that I would like something like this. I don’t know why I would like it, how could I like it? It so not right, not something a normal person would enjoy. What is wrong with me? Well, one thing that communication with cagedmonkey has done is given me someone to talk to about those feelings. Someone to tell me it’s ok to enjoy something with another consenting adult. There doesn’t have to be an explanation or reason for liking it. We decided awhile back, in exploring these things, that we would stop asking or worrying about why. We would just go with what felt good… as long as we both felt good doing it.

I do believe a spontaneous orgasm would be the classic definition of “sexual gratification” from something. I’m content accepting the fact that I have this “fetish” but what exactly IS this fetish? I do not feel this fits what a sadist is but rather my fetish is about complete control over someone, down to the most basic of needs… like breathing.

Is there a name that describes this intense sexual gratification from control?