So I just want to write that just as important as it is for us as women to get feedback that the boys like what we are doing, they need that same feedback from us. They need to know we are proud of them for being locked for us, for enduring our teasing etc. They also need to know if they are pleasing us with their behavior or sexual acts. How will they know to continue something I’d they don’t know ere loving it?
I find that having a submissive husband or even being dominant to a submissive man is just like parenting. I’m not saying our men are childish (though some sure can be at times) I just mean they respond well to techniques parents use with children. It’s just like you would treat a kid when you “catch them doing something good” to reinforce the behavior. So it’s important to say things like “it really pleases me when…” or “you’re doing such a good job with…” or “I really love how you are handling…” and even “Wow! What a great job doing…..” adding to any of those some hint at a reward is huge too. Saying something like “it really pleases me when you take out the garbage without asking… I might have to unlock you and tease you later!” No, you didn’t just lock yourself in and you don’t have to let him out but the thought that you might is motivation. It’s interesting how it works.
Praising and reassuring our submissives builds their confidence and keeps them pleasing us and striving for more of those compliments and possible rewards. It might be all about us Ladies (or dominants) sexually but it is about both of us emotionally. This is why I say communication is so huge. The feedback, both ways, keeps the relationship going.
Have you praised your locked boy today?
I am really struggling to explain to my Wife this very point. She is happy with what we are doing, I know she is. She wouldn’t still be doing it if she wasn’t. She hardly ever does the things that you talked about in this blog and I don’t think she really understands why I need it. Some days I am fine, I realise I am being silly but others are not so easy.
Last week I had a really bad time, I was grumpy and out of sorts with her. I couldn’t explain that I just needed her to hold my hand and ask me if I was OK, to tell me she was pleased with what I am doing and how far I have come so far. The times I have tried to explain this she has got annoyed with me as she feels that what we do constitutes enough, and that just leaves me even more confused.
Your husband is a lucky man for many reasons but your understanding of the care he needs is probably the biggest reason he is lucky.