advice

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Time again for another round of “Mail Chastity” where we tackle the topics that are on your mind. As always, these are real questions from real readers. Feel free to email us with any questions you may have; your question just may be featured in our next Mail Chastity post!

Click on the contact page in the top left corner for email info, or simply just to see a great pic of My Lady’s beautiful breasts perfectly framing the key to my chastity cage.  😉

Q: Are there any medical concerns involved with being locked up so frequently?

Hmmmm….. good question. There are some medical issues that should be addressed when considering long term and/or frequent wearing of a chastity device. Most of these issues are not very severe if tended to.

The most common occurrence would be skin irritation where the cage sits, either around the scrotum or on the shaft of the penis. This can be avoided by using a properly fitting cage and proper lubrication to allow movement of the cage while walking. Skin irritation, if left unchecked, can lead to blisters and skin ulcers which risk being infected. You don’t want that.

Another common condition that is often seen with open-style devices (Birdcage/Jailbird/etc.) is edema, or localized swelling due to fluid buildup. This happens when the penile tissue expands into the open spaces of the cage. This isn’t the “hardon bulge” I’m talking about… that is completely normal, especially when your keyholder is deliberately turning you into a sex-crazed lunatic. Edema occurs when your erection goes away, but the swelling and fluid remain. This can be fixed by rubbing and massaging the area to promote circulation… just be careful not to enjoy it TOO much and piss off your keyholder! Edema, when not dealt with in time, can cause tissue damage and possible erectile dysfunction if it becomes serious enough.

The issues I have described in the linked posts were not related directly to wearing the chastity device. There were… ahem… other factors involved.

Q: How does chastity effect the day-to-day basis of your life?

To be honest, not all that much. The main difference is that I get crazy horny as time goes on. Duh. Other than that, the cage doesn’t get in the way much. I can play with my children without incident – I try to avoid having them sit on my lap, but they are old enough now where that’s not a big worry. Work is not a problem, even though my job requires frequent walks around the room, as well as sitting and standing. Other than the fact that I’m goddamn-motherfucking-all-batshit-flames-of-hell horny all the time, my life proceeds pretty much in a normal fashion.

Q: How do you decide what to post? Is it a joint effort?

My Lady does most of the posting on the blog, for two reasons. First, she is a major control freak… which she will freely admit, hence the FLR lifestyle. Second, she usually has the most time to post, given that she is a stay-at-home mom with a Galaxy Note 2 surgically attached to her hand. However, we both collaborate on what themes and ideas to post about. Very often, we will be discussing a particular aspect of our lifestyle, and either of us will say, “We should totally write a blog post about this.” She usually just beats me to the punch. We do really enjoy doing the “He Said, She Said” and “Conversations” posts… they are lots of fun, and they give our readers great insight on the types of conversations we have and that we consider necessary in order make this lifestyle run smoothly.

There were plenty of surprises this weekend, both welcome and unwelcome. I’ll start at the beginning.

My Lady and I had a great time at the casino celebrating our wedding anniversary. We somehow managed NOT to lose all of our money, so I’m chalking that up as a win. On our way out of the casino, we stopped by the roulette table for “The Spin.”

My Lady chose the spin, and the ball was flung around the wheel, ready to randomly choose my fate. The ball bounced down to the number slots as I looked on, and I could see the ball beginning to settle. It was rolling between 0 and 32, back and forth… it seemed like it was torturing me!! Then…..

The roulette spinner picked the ball up and spun it again! I don’t know why a respin was called for – perhaps there was an improper bet or whatever, I don’t know all the rules to these games – but she flung the ball again for a new trip around the wheel. ML and I waited for the spin to stop…. and finally it landed on….

Thirty.

Another THIRTY days of denial for me!

But wait, that’s not the end of our story….

[Warning: possible graphic language and descriptions ahead, proceed with caution]

When we got home and dispatched of the babysitter, ML and I began to get intimate. She was gracious enough to give me an anniversary present and allowed me to make love to her and cum inside her. It didn’t take long in the slightest. It was WONDERFUL to finally get release after so long. We came together as she slowly rode on top of me. We ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms. It was so great. ML decided on giving me a short chastity honeymoon – most likely covering the holiday weekend, giving us Sunday night to enjoy ourselves and I would be locked back up for work Monday night.

Last night ML wanted to start things off by having me masturbate and shoot a nice big load all over my stomach – and, conveniently get a video of it to torture me with when I couldn’t masturbate later (she can be evil sometimes, I love it!). I stroked myself and was ready to cum pretty quickly, and in no time my cock was shooting warm pink cum all over my stomach…

Wait….

What?

PINK CUM?!?!?

I wasn’t even fully done with my orgasm before I started thinking, “Oh fuck, something is seriously wrong here.” I cleaned the blood-tinged cum off of me, as well as a “clot-like” thing that was on my hand…

[Hey, you come to this blog looking for honesty and no bullshit posts about male chastity, so you’re getting it. This is what happened. I’m sorry if it grosses, but real is real].

… and I promptly started freaking out. Why am I cumming blood? What is wrong with me? Do I need to go to the hospital? Am I going to explain to a doctor what ML and I have been up to? And why is the idea of confessing to a doctor scarier to me than the fact that there’s actually blood in my semen?

So yeah, the whole spirit of the honeymoon kinda died right there.

Since last night, ML and I have done some research (to come in an ML post, most likely later today), and the research has been comforting. There was no full on BLOOD in the semen, just a little tinge. We have found that it is quite normal (WTFHOWCOULDTHISBENORMAL?!?!?) and it’s nothing to be majorly concerned about unless I’m in pain, the problem continues or gets worse. We’ve decided to take a small break from chastity, possibly around a week or so. During this week, ML will most likely allow me to cum a few times, in part to see what happens, as well as to help “flush the pipes” so to speak.

I wish I didn’t have to go so far as cumming blood to get a week of free orgasms, but there you have it.

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It’s not always easy being a wife or girlfriend AND a Keyholder. When cagedmonkey first handed me the key to his chastity device, it was a bit of an emotional moment. First of all, it happen much before either one of us thought it would. Second, I felt a huge amount of trust from him but also a load of responsibility. I may have even gotten some tears in my eyes!

I know we haven’t been on this journey nearly as long as some but we have experienced our share of emotions. The first few times I had cagedmonkey locked I was very influenced by his whining and was very sensitive to him wanting out. We’ve had plenty of discussions now about how he desires me to be in control and not at all influenced by his begging. He wants every decision about his sexual needs and wants to be mine. Even if he is begging and crying to get out or cum, he wants me to only allow him out if I want him out. If I have a desire to see him get hard, to play with him or to even allow him to cum.

At first this was a very hard thing to really do. It’s not easy to grab a hold of the dominant role immediately when it’s handed over. It can take some time to fully grasp the power you can have over your man. I’m naturally a controlling person and enjoy the dominant role in life. I prefer knowing things will be done my way and to my satisfaction. Even though someone says “here, control me” you don’t really know until you are in it, living it, experiencing it how much control they really want you to have. You don’t really know what they will really do for you. It takes time to grow into being dominant over someone else and ultimately being their Keyholder.

Although it’s only been a sort time, I’ve settled into my role quite nicely. I no longer feel a need to release cagedmonkey because he’s whining or even because I see him wincing in pain from the cock straining so hard in his cage and pulling on his balls. Afterall, isn’t this what he asked for? He asked me to take control of every part of his sexual being. He asked to be locked up and controlled. Last night, is a prime example of how much I’ve changed and that he’s in a very rough spot. He was begging, whimpering and whining to cum. He was even begging (very hard) for a ruined, in-the-cage, orgasm! I just giggled because I think it’s so hot to hear him get like that. It really just causes my pussy to get sopping, drippy wet knowing I make him get like that. To hear him begging me, knowing I control any and everything about that beautiful locked up aching, needy cock.

The reality is, he’s getting everything he asked for… and a whole lot more! 😀

One of the most important aspects of wearing a chastity device for an extended period of time is daily maintenance. For the sake of both comfort and safety, it’s important to do your “daily chores” and take care of your cage as well as its prized contents.

First, it’s very important to keep your cage clean. The easiest way to accomplish this task is to wash your cage after removing it, however this may not be an option for some guys whose keyholder keeps them locked in a device 24/7… like me, for example. In my case, I find that a good rinse in the shower once a day is sufficient, but I try to give it a good soap-and-water wash at least every other day. Men who are using a more enclosed style of device may require more frequent soap washes.

Just as important as washing is drying your cage. At first, I simply towel-dried out of the shower, but I found there were some spots that were beginning to rust from retained water. Seeing as though the Birdcage I wear is chrome-plated steel, I didn’t worry too much about the rust… however, I didn’t want mold to grow. Using a hair dryer on low/cool setting seems to work better than a towel.

The next step in daily maintenance is applying proper lubrication. Lubing up is one of the most important things you will do involving your cage on a daily basis. When you forget to do it, you will realize it. And you most likely will not forget again for quite a while. Lubrication is important because you want things to be able to move around freely down there without any chafing or pinching. With a proper snug-fitting cage, there is high potential for skin irritations from normal behaviors such as sitting, walking, or attempted erections. Lubrication helps things to move around a little easier. My Lady loves to tease me and watch her cock try to grow inside the cage and press against the bars, straining against the unyielding steel. Without lubing up, this would end up being a lot more uncomfortable than it already is.

I find that more lube is better than less. I began using Q-tips to apply the lube under and around the bars of my Birdcage, until I realized that my finger fits well in the spaces between the steel. I may be forced to use the Q-tips when ML decides to start using a more enclosed device on me.

Using the correct type of lube is also vital. Water-based lubricants are best in my opinion, because they can be used with pretty much any type of device; silicone-based or petroleum-based lubes shouldn’t be used with either silicone or plastic devices because they can degrade the material. Not only is the type of lube critical, but also the brand that you buy can contribute to the quality of your “lubricatedness.” I have found that name brand products work best, as they should; Astroglide is my personal favorite. Store brand lubes can be just as good, but beware – not all store brand products are created equal! I just recently found that. although the Rite-Aid brand of personal lubricant works just fine for me, the Equate brand (available at Walmart) gets very sticky and “goobery” when it dries. Just because one store brand doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean another won’t also. Don’t be afraid to try a few different types out. If all else fails, spring for the good stuff. It’ll be worth it.

At first, I thought that fitting all of these duties into my routine would be a hassle. But honestly, I really enjoy performing my “daily maintenance” tasks. I feel that taking good care of my cage is a way to show my devotion to my keyholder and to show my gratitude that she has valued me enough to lock me up to be hers and hers alone to control. It is my way of saying “thank you.”