Tonight Cagedmonkey and I have been enjoying a few drinks. Ok, well, I’ve been making him drink a lot more than me and he’s pretty drunk haha. I mean how could he turn me down when I’m making him take shots like this?
It’s really cute how he gets. He gets extremely submissive. Especially when, all night, I’ve been making him periodically drop to his knees and eat my pussy, or I’ve been climbing up on the couch rubbing my wet dripping pussy all over his face. I’ve squirted on him a few times too tonight, so he’s sitting here naked, drunk, covered in my pussy juices and locked in his cage. Even I can smell me on him, just sitting next to him.
Soon it will be time to take him to the bedroom and there we will see what other fun things we can get up to. 🙂
denial
All posts tagged denial
Cleaning up the mail box so here is a potpourri of Mail Chastity questions I’ve received. It might end up being a little bit of a longer post. Sorry for the delay in answering any of your questions!
Chris writes:
“I follow your blog some time now. I realy like it.
I plan to buy a steelworkxx looker 1. I am looking for advice on the cockring. I read that people sleep better with a normal ring than with the anatomical ring. The anatomical ring would give a burning/biting feeling. Do you have experience with both of them? What would be your advice?”
I think that the difference between an anatomical ring and a regular one is really a matter of preference. I’ve heard guys swear by its comfort, but I didn’t like it when I wore mine with the Revenge. The curvature at the bottom never seemed to find a comfortable place, and it just didn’t feel right. Now I use just the regular straight ring with the Revenge, and everything feels fine.
My best advice would be to go with what suits you best. If you’re uncomfortable with the anatomical ring, I wouldn’t try to gut it out just because other people do better with it. Try out the regular ring and see how it feels, and then go with whichever is better.
A gentleman from FetLife asks:
“Does chastity hurt as the denial sets in?”
I’m going to answer this in two parts, because it’s a more complicated question than you might realize.
Physically, chastity shouldn’t “hurt” over time as the denial continues. A proper fitting cage with proper hygiene won’t cause any skin irritations; as far as blue balls go, I would consider that more tenderness than actual pain. Yes, they are more sensitive to your normal daily jostling, but it’s not a constant source of discomfort.
Mentally, it definitely comes and goes. During long denial periods I can go from being super psyched (“I’m going to be denied orgasm for three months? That’s crazy!”) to wanting it to end (“I’m not going to have an orgasm for the rest of the summer? That’s HORRIBLE!”). It’s during these times when I’m desperate for relief that it really, truly hurts me when ML says no. After all, the feeling is real; at that moment, I really do want to be done with being denied. It can be a major downer when it seems like she isn’t acknowledging my feelings for release.
At these times, it’s important for me to remind myself that she is acknowleding these feelings… however, she also knows that I crave the feelings that come with absolute submission to her. If she gave in to my needs before she truly wanted to, yes I would get the instant gratification of orgasm, but it would be tainted by later feelings of guilt.
So yes, there is emotional pain that comes with orgasm denial and chastity… but in my opinion, it’s definintely worth suffering through for the intense sexual connection that both My Lady and I get out of it.
What type of device do you prefer?
My personal favorite is the Jailbird. I like the open-style cages the best, because it just looks better in my opinion. I have nothing against the closed-style devices, but ones like the Revenge are a little too “hardcore” for my liking. They require much more stringent upkeep and cleaning practices. Plus, I really do like the way it looks when my cock bulges against the bars of the JB, like it wants to get out so bad that’s it’s trying to break through the steel. 🙂
Can chastity completely remove a desire or ability to orgasm?
Quite the opposite, I’d say! It’s possible to lose the desire to orgasm while in chastity, but I think that would have to do with a mental/psychological issue rather than the chastity itself. Normally, the longer you are locked up and/or denied, the more intense the need for release gets.
With that said, a man’s orgasm may be weakened slightly from long term orgasm denial. The muscles that contract during orgasm may atrophy after a long time of not being used. This would pass after the muscles are re-strengthened (i.e. after you cum lots and lots). I found that you can reduce this effect by doing kegel exercises on a regular basis.
Can chastity be used to modify someone to orgasm by verbal command?
I don’t think that chastity can be used as behavior modification in that way. I’m guessing the only way to achieve that would be through some sort of hypnosis – which I don’t recommend, only because I have absolutely no experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for fucking up some guy’s mind so they can’t ever cum again unless he hears the word “watermelon.”
Are there health risks to long term chastity?
Other than possible skin irritations from not having a proper fit, or perhaps injury from laying on the cage the wrong way or something like that, I don’t think there are serious health risks to long term chastity. There is some evidence that orgasm denial is related to a slight increase in prostate problems, but there is also contradictory evidence that says the opposite.
Does chastity affect testicle size long term?
I haven’t experienced any increase in testicle size, at least not permanent – (perhaps during a long denial they may feel or seem swollen, but it’s not a lasting effect. What I have experienced, to quite a degree, is some stretching of my scrotum. I’m naturally a “low hanger,” but after wearing a chastity device for so long – and the repeated erection attempts that often come with longer denials – my balls hang a bit lower than they used to. It’s not a major problem; it’s not like I sit on them on accident or that they drop into the toiler water when I use the bathroom or anything like that. But I guess I would consider that a “side effect” of long term chastity.
Thank you again for all of your questions. Please feel free to write and ask us anything!
We were recently asked a bunch of questions from a guy on Fetlife and they were such wonderful questions that I knew we had to take the time to answer them here. Since there are so many, we will be breaking them up over a couple Mail Chastity posts. We are also doing this because some are aimed at me, being the one in control and some to cagedmonkey, being the one controlled and locked in chastity.
Please feel free to ask us anything you like, we really do love interacting with our readers and answering questions. Any questions are ok from general to personal. What would you like to know?
A gentleman from Fetlife asks:
What is it like to have that control over a man?
The best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels powerful. Emotionally I feel strong, empowered, important, wanted, desired and needed. Physically I feel this tingling sensation, this warm rush comes over me and the feelings of power flow through my body. My heart beats a little faster and it’s almost like I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes it’s even a bit overwhelming and I have to stop myself and back up for a second or two.
We’ve only been doing this, at this intensity level, for a couple years and only recently have I allowed my natural aggressiveness come out so it can still get overwhelming for me at times. But, cagedmonkey and I both say, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon so we have plenty of time to enjoy this I the time that is right for us.
How long did it take to train him to withhold orgasm…because you do allow him sex, right?
First of all, yes, I do allow him sex. Our “sex” happens daily but it’s not the same sex we had before chastity. It’s much more intimate and meaningful and doesn’t necessarily include intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse, daily. It just depends on what is happening or how I’m feeling because I’m in control of our sexual pleasure.
As for training, there wasn’t much actual training other than practice. Orgasm denial was something cagedmonkey experimented with before he and I met and it’s something we’ve played with the entire 15 years we’ve been together. The past two years there has been a lot of edging and denial and I think, over time, he gets better and better at recognizing his orgasm and where the edge is and he’s learned that feeling of going too far.
I do think a man could be trained in time, with repeated edging and denial, to be able to hold off longer and longer. Denial also makes holding off that much harder. It’s a bit of a double edged sword but possible.
I hope this helped answer his questions and if any of our Dom/Domme readers would like to add their thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!
We had some other questions asked from Chastity Forums and I thought I would answer those publicly as well. 🙂
My question to you Lady M:
as a dominant woman do you feel the urge to “use” your submissive male for your pleasure, denying him any form of sexual release?
Every so often I do feel this urge to just “make him my bitch” as I put it. That could be anything from simply using his face and hands to get off whenever, wherever and however I like to locking him in the stockade and pegging him until I felt he’d had enough. Cagedmonkey is ALWAYS denied his orgasm unless I’m feeling generous. I do very much enjoy denying his orgasms. I like the man that he is when he is denied. 🙂
Question to CagedMonkey:
Just wanted to know if Caged Monkey felt the same when you took him so hard and dominantly? For me it certainly changed things, emotionally and physically, and brought me to a level of true submission last felt when she gave me a hiding in the spreader bar
It is an extremely intense experience when My Lady steps into her “ultra-dominant” role. I can usually see it in her eyes before anything else. It’s intimidating and a little bit scary, I admit, mainly because I know that literally ANYTHING that ML wants to happen can (and most likely will) happen. But it is also very exciting and thrilling to be taken in that way, feeling how much control she has over me and knowing that’s exactly how it should be.
A little tease and torture fun with the wand this morning. Cagedmonkey was trying to sleep but I decided I needed some good old fashioned playtime haha. I went in and set my wand between his legs, under his balls so that it was vibrating his base ring and getting a bit of his prostate. I lubed up the small nJoy butt plug and worked it in his tight little ass.
I continued to use the wand all around his balls, ass and all the parts in between. I loved seeing his ass clench and wiggle and hearing him moaning. I just love watching and hearing him react to my touch.
After that I left him there, plugged to try to get to sleep. A little while later I went in to change into my bathing suit and decided to rub my wet horny pussy on his face. He was left again to sleep, plugged and covered in my juices.
We got some more email questions and I thought I would answer some of them here in case anyone else had any advice for our readers.
subhubphx writes:
I just recently posted on my blog about sometimes not being able to fully satisfy Mistress K. when she needs or wants to be fucked really good, really hard and for a long time. Being her dutiful, chaste, submissive husband, my urge to cum happens waaaay sooner than Mistress needs for her to get what she needs often enough. I was hoping to get your advice on how you might handle a similar situation that possibly exists with your sub/slave men.
I appreciate you writing for my advice subhub. It’s actually pretty simple, there really is no way cagedmonkey can give me a good, hard, thorough pounding when denied his own orgasm – which I sometimes crave and need – though, he’s gotten very good with hands, mouth and toys. He’s learned to satisfy me through other methods. However, there are times I need it and that’s where a good strap on and “Adam” come in handy.
It’s very hard for me to enjoy insertables because they are usually cold, hard and not all that forgiving and just don’t follow the contours of a vagina. That was until I found Adam (you should be able to use the search function to find posts re: Adam), which is the most realistic dildo I’ve seen and felt and it’s really just a great toy. It’s soft but firm (but still bends a bit with tightness so you do have to help it get going) and feels really great. It warms up quickly and even more quickly when you warm it before under some hot water.
We’ve just found that the strap on harness is the best way to get that “between the legs, hip thrusting, manly fucking” feeling that us ladies do actually crave sometimes. While cagedmonkey is able to hold off longer the more he practices, he’s still not able to pound the hell out of me when I really need it without the strap on.
I hope this helps answer your question and please write us if you have more! 🙂
As you all know, we have two kids, so we have to get creative with the time we have to spend being kinky. We don’t get much alone time together at all so it’s important to mix it in here or there when we can. A lot of our kinky happens behind the scenes so we don’t alert the kids to daddy’s chastity device or our dirty, kinky playtime.
Cagedmonkey has worked 6 nights this week and we haven’t had a whole lot of time to connect. I’ve used him in the mornings, when tucking him in, for some pretty fantastic orgasms but no real tease and denial time. This evening I decided to have him get in the shower and use that time to give him some tasks and make him take pictures and video for more while completing them. Oh the joys of him having a waterproof phone!
His first task was to uncage and shave that big ol’ cock of mine and then it was time to frustrate the hell out of him. He was then instructed to stroke his cock nice and hard for me.
I made sure he washed up really good and told him he needed to make sure his ass was also cleaned really good just in case I got in the mood to use it.
After he was nice and clean I told him to stand there enjoying his shower while he stroked and edged for me… 7 times. That wasn’t all he had to do! That would be about the time I popped in the bathroom and handed him the Aneros and told him I wanted him to get his asshole good and primed for me. I made sure to tell him to not get carried away with the self ass play but to make sure he was prepared in case I got the urge to peg him.
He alternated between edging and working the Aneros in and out of his ass being sure to send me video too. As he got to the last few edges I told him to edge while he was plugged with the Aneros. I wanted him to feel his ass clench around the smooth plastic as he got closer to cumming.
It really was an incredible amount of fun to tease him, deny him and frustrate him. Once out of the shower cagedmonkey was instructed to lock his cock back up for me in his Jail Bird. I love when we are able to find little ways, like this, to work kink into our everyday lives. It doesn’t take much to keep it fresh, sometimes wee just need to get a little creative about it.
This morning I was feeling particularly dirty and horny. Such a lovely combination for making my sexy subby hubby my service slut. I stood at the side of the bed with my wand in one hand and ordered him to get on his knees behind me. I bent over on to the mattress and positioned the wand at my clit. I flicked the dial to a medium vibration as I pushed my ready and waiting ass toward him slightly. He knew that was his signal to get to work. I love the way his warm tongue feels as it slides into my tight ass.
As the wand got me closer and closer to orgasm, I bucked against his face, pressing him deeper and harder into me. Using his face to push myself to the edge. Then at the perfect time, with his tongue in my ass, he slid his fingers into my pussy, filling up my aching horny hole. It wasn’t long after that I went the edge, stiffened my legs and every bit of me tensed up. He had to work harder to push his tongue into me as my muscles clenched down.
I felt my pussy gush as I came. It’s been so long since I’ve squirted that standing in that position made it simply gush from me. I covered his hand, tongue, face and the floor below with my delicious musky juices. I laid there on my stomach a minute, wand dangling, feeling the aftershocks of my orgasm while he knelt there behind me, used and aching in his cage.
I stood up, straightened my jammie shirt, patted my good boy on the head and told him to sleep well as I walked out of the room.
The other night before Cagedmonkey went to work I couldn’t help but get in a little play time. I mean, damn, when my man has an adorable little ass like he does, how can you not want to just bend him over the couch and take him?
We were just sitting on the couch getting a little flirty, he happened to flash me a little hip… Oh his hips are sexy! I straddled his lap and started kissing him hard. I was getting extremely turned on and I started pinching his nipples. I got more turned on by the sounds he was making as I pinched and twisted his nipples. I kissed him harder and deeper and more aggressively. I could feel how hard his cock was trying to get in his cage between my thighs.
I could feel that fire starting to burn inside me, that powerful aggressive burn, aching to just do things to him. To make him feel things and react to things. That need to have him in whatever way I wanted. I stood up to catch my breath and couldn’t help myself, I grabbed him by the hip and pushed him over on his belly, bent over the couch, face down in the cushion. I yanked down the back of his shorts and knelt behind him as if I was making him my little bitch.
I reached down and slid my middle finger in his ass and he moaned this growly moan into the couch cushion. Damn it was hot! I continued rubbing his prostate as I moved my hips back and forth as if I were pegging him, listening to him moan over and over. I had one hand on his back, pressing him into the couch, it really was like I was using him for my little ass slut.
I really enjoyed the powerful feeling I got from just taking him and doing what I wanted to him. When I was finished with him his cock was dripping like crazy and trying desperately to bust out of his cage.
Sunday was such a great day. We drove down to watch the Mets play the Braves… Boy what an awesome come back by the Mets after that stupid dickwad of a pitcher… Oh wait… I’m getting off track! Anyway, it actually was a good weekend all together. Our daughter turned 10 on Saturday and had her dance recital. She was awesome by the way! Always makes mom tear up. And the weekend ended with an awesome time as a family at the game.
I do want to mention that I was in no mood to deal with metal detectors at the gate to the stadium so I did have cagedmonkey go sans Jail Bird to the game. However, I don’t think there would have been an issue whatsoever if he did wear it.
After the game we had the long drive back home through NYC traffic and the kids ended up falling asleep in the back seat. Which left me the perfect opportunity to give hubby a good teasing while he was driving 70mph on the thruway. One of my favorite ways to tease him is to stroke, squeeze and fondle his cock in rhythm to whatever song is playing. It was quite a few songs that I made him endure my teasing through. It was awfully fun listening to him try to muffle his moans or cough to cover them up. I loved the times I would hit that sweet spot and the sounds couldn’t help but escape his mouth. It turns me on so much to tease him and make him want me!
It really was a wonderful weekend and I enjoyed very much spending time having fun as a family! Such a needed break from all the stress we’ve been going through.