keyholder

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Locked vs. Unlocked: The Great Debate

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 4, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Last weekend, My Lady allowed me to spend some time unlocked after getting a surprising orgasm on Friday night. It was a semi-honeymoon of sorts, our first one since starting this chastity lifestyle. It was very nice to have the ability to be free with my sexuality. I began to think that although being locked and being unlocked are two different situations (and honeymoon being a third completely opposite one), each situation has its own reasons for being enjoyable.

I enjoy being locked by ML mainly because of the feelings I get when I am controlled by her. The lock on my cage gives me no option but to bend to her wishes and to serve her desires. The fact that she chooses to keep me locked and to hold this control over me makes me feel valued, as if I am a prized possession of hers. She keeps me safe and secure so only she may play with me when she wishes. I also get a feeling of safety and security when locked, knowing and trusting that she will only use me in ways that please her. It may not be the best thing to satisfy my wants and needs, but because of the decision I’ve made to put ML before me, it is exactly what I want.

Being unlocked is a little different. And let me be clear – by “unlocked” I mean not kept in a device, but still under the sexual control of My Lady. For example, yesterday I was released from my cage and ML spent the day forcing erections on me, riding her cock when she saw fit, denying me orgasm all day long, and eventually giving me TWO back-to-back ruined orgasms before putting me back in my cage. At no time was ML not in control. I was unlocked, but still every bit the sub that I am when wearing my cage.

Anyway, as I was saying… being unlocked is different. The feelings of excitement come from different places. While I feel valued and treasured like a prized collectible when locked, I feel wanted and desired when unlocked, like ML’s well-worn favorite toy. And while being caged gives me a sense of security, being free gives me the exciting feeling of uncertainty, that anything can happen at any given moment (and often does). Sometimes the worst teases happen when I’m not in my cage, simply because ML can bring me so close to the orgasm I so desperately crave and desire, yet I have no idea when these moments may come and I have no way to prepare for or recover from them.

Even though I am thoroughly enjoying our lifestyle of enforced male chastity, I still do look forward to our honeymoon periods. It’s not that I don’t want to be controlled. It’s just nice to know that we can still be normal after being so kinky. It almost seems as if things have reversed – most couples use kink to spice up their sex lives and prevent things from getting boring, while we use our vanilla honeymoon time to do the same. Which is perfectly fine by me… I’m loving this “new normal” every exciting step of the way!

Keyholder Epiphany

Posted by Lady M on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 3 comments

Epiphany: a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple

It sounds weird to say this but it feels almost as if a weight has been lifted from me. After our conversation last night I got to thinking about what I really wanted and how I wanted to play with hubby. After all, he gave me the beautiful gift of regaining my natural dominance, so I’m in charge.

So what do I want from the chastity? Well, easy, I want the device on at all times unless I unlock him for play time, tease time or for my using. It’s my toy locked up in my toy box. 🙂 *giggle*

So, what about the Tease & Denial? Well in all my pondering last night, I realized what I want is not called “Orgasm Denial.” It’s called “Orgasm Control” because I want to be in control of if he cums, when he cums, how he cums and how much he cums! If I feel like spending an entire day using him over and over to drain every bit of cum from him then so be it. I unlock him, use him and lock him back up. If I want to deny him for 40 days for the fun of it then so be it! If I want some mix of the two, I can have it. If I change my mind in the middle of it all, I can! 🙂

I’ve finally got my brain on board knowing that all of these things are my decision. No more feeling like I promised to lock him up for a length of time and not wanting to disappoint him or upset him or “do it wrong” or not the way he wants it. I’m in control, I hold the power to use him for my pleasure in whatever way I choose. I hold the power to allow him an erection or force him to have one all day, if I want! I hold the power to deny him orgasms for as long as I feel like having him behaving in an awesome attentive way towards me. If I feel like asserting my dominance and taking him as mine every night for a week, I hold that power.

I hold all the power when it comes to his sexual feelings, sensations and releases. The one part I want to explore more in our relationship is the Wife Led part. I’m curious about what it would feel like to be completely in control of everything he does. I don’t want this all the time because I’m not into having a slave but I think once in awhile having a very submissive session of play would be fun. I have no idea as I’ve never done it, never been overpowering dominant and/or demanding but maybe I want to see what it’s like! We were talking the other day and he mentioned scrubbing the kitchen floor naked while I supervised (probably half joking, I’m sure lol). At that moment something happened to me I was not expecting… I suddenly got extremely aroused at the thought of him serving me that way. Though at the same time my head was like wtf that’s so wrong! Cagedmonkey and I have said that it can never hurt to try something… we might like it. He’s not all into serving that way (not into being a slave nor do I want one) but he’s not against the session happening once in awhile if it is something we both enjoy. So we’re off to try new things once again and explore what feels good!

Ok so that was my epiphany overnight… see what happens when you stay up until after 4am!

Wish me luck! 🙂

Conversations in Chastity: Getting Serious

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

cagedmonkey: We’ve found out so much about this lifestyle in such a short time. It really is amazing!!

Lady: It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure… but I’ve realized some things since our last go at your orgasm denial.

cm: What things, exactly?

Lady: Well, after this last time having you completely locked and even denying myself I kinda feel like I’ve tested out all that I need in this. I really just want to get on with it. I don’t want to set dates of when you will be locked or unlocked trying to reach some imaginary goal. I’m not going to worry about “oh I shouldn’t unlock him because I said 10 days in!” I’m going to do what I want, when I want, how I want but you will not orgasm… you will please me and I will use you to please myself but you will wait until you have permission to cum. I will see my cock hard & play with it when I want though. All other times you will be locked in your device.

cm: I was actually thinking the exact same thing! We’ve proven that I can safely wear the cage pretty much indefinitely without problems – indefinitely meaning however long you want, not forever (I hope!!!). We have also seen that I’m able to be trusted not to cum when I’m out of the cage, even when giving you the penetration that you crave. The only thing that I’m concerned about is the strength of your resolve. Will you be able to deny me even when I’m seriously trying my hardest to convince you to let me cum?

Lady: I’m pretty sure the denial part will be a piece of cake! The hardest part for me was feeling like I had to keep you locked up to enforce the denial. That’s not true so it should be easy enough, when I’m getting what I need and want, to keep you all crazy. You know I absolutely love when you’ve been reduced to a heaping, begging, desperate mess! Oh boy, it turns me on so much! Are you here with me in my desire to take more control over how I want to use the cage? This starting out thing has been not only about me but lots of worrying about you and what you feel or think and some caving to what I think you want. I’m ready for that to be over.

cm: I’m ready, too. I want it all to be you decision. If you want to tease me until I’m crying out for you to stop every night for a week, then so be it. If you want to keep me locked up constantly for three or even four weeks straight (or more!!!), then please do it. There will be times where I want it to end, where I just want out, or I just want to FUCKING CUM GOD DAMMIT. But what I truly want is to cum only when I’m allowed by you, my Keyholder.

Lady: Awww now that’s the perfect answer from my perfect boy! <3

Keyholder Motivation: Why Do We Keep Them Locked?

Posted by Lady M on November 30, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , . 2 comments

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It’s not always easy being a wife or girlfriend AND a Keyholder. When cagedmonkey first handed me the key to his chastity device, it was a bit of an emotional moment. First of all, it happen much before either one of us thought it would. Second, I felt a huge amount of trust from him but also a load of responsibility. I may have even gotten some tears in my eyes!

I know we haven’t been on this journey nearly as long as some but we have experienced our share of emotions. The first few times I had cagedmonkey locked I was very influenced by his whining and was very sensitive to him wanting out. We’ve had plenty of discussions now about how he desires me to be in control and not at all influenced by his begging. He wants every decision about his sexual needs and wants to be mine. Even if he is begging and crying to get out or cum, he wants me to only allow him out if I want him out. If I have a desire to see him get hard, to play with him or to even allow him to cum.

At first this was a very hard thing to really do. It’s not easy to grab a hold of the dominant role immediately when it’s handed over. It can take some time to fully grasp the power you can have over your man. I’m naturally a controlling person and enjoy the dominant role in life. I prefer knowing things will be done my way and to my satisfaction. Even though someone says “here, control me” you don’t really know until you are in it, living it, experiencing it how much control they really want you to have. You don’t really know what they will really do for you. It takes time to grow into being dominant over someone else and ultimately being their Keyholder.

Although it’s only been a sort time, I’ve settled into my role quite nicely. I no longer feel a need to release cagedmonkey because he’s whining or even because I see him wincing in pain from the cock straining so hard in his cage and pulling on his balls. Afterall, isn’t this what he asked for? He asked me to take control of every part of his sexual being. He asked to be locked up and controlled. Last night, is a prime example of how much I’ve changed and that he’s in a very rough spot. He was begging, whimpering and whining to cum. He was even begging (very hard) for a ruined, in-the-cage, orgasm! I just giggled because I think it’s so hot to hear him get like that. It really just causes my pussy to get sopping, drippy wet knowing I make him get like that. To hear him begging me, knowing I control any and everything about that beautiful locked up aching, needy cock.

The reality is, he’s getting everything he asked for… and a whole lot more! 😀

I Have the Best Keyholder in the World!

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 30, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Sorry to all you other guys, but it’s true. My wife is the absolute BEST keyholder in the world.

For me, at least.  🙂

It takes a certain kind of relationship to make this chastity thing work. My wife and I have been through a lot, but nothing would have been able to prepare us for this if we didn’t fully trust each other. When we are fully open and honest with each other, we often find that we are not only on the same page or even paragraph – we are on the same freaking word!

I think back to when we were writing out our chastity agreement. Even though I was giving My Lady complete control over sexual abilities (including the ability to orgasm or even simply getting a hardon), I knew there were some neighborhoods and areas I’d rather not explore. I was struggling with how to explain this oxymoron of a situation – “I want you to do whatever you want, but not if what you want is one of these things” – I was kind of worried it wouldn’t come out right. What a pleasant surprise it was when I found out that ML was not interested in those same things! Writing up our agreement went so much easier than I expected, and we were both more than happy to sign it.

My keyholder knows just how to play me. She knows where all of my buttons are and she presses them often. She knows that a subtle change in posture can flip the switch in my brain and instantly have me wanting to kiss and lick her body all over. And when my brain is stuck on sex, she knows how to push me and push me until my chest is tight and I can’t breathe. And when she gets me alone…. well, from her previous post, it’s obvious she can turn me into a quivering, whimpering puddle of frustration and need pretty much any time she wants.

And that’s what I need. I need a keyholder who will use me for her pleasure and amusement. A keyholder who won’t take my requests or pleads into account when deciding what she does. A keyholder who expects me to worship her mind and body every moment of every day.

Nobody else could do this for me but My Lady.

Conversations in Chastity: Frustration

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 27, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

(Lady and cagedmonkey feel that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and especially important in a chastity relationship. Occasionally, Lady and cagedmonkey will shed some light on what these conversations are like. What follows is a discussion between the two of them, all while posting to the blog.)

cagedmonkey: So today marks a week for me in the cage, 24/7 straight except for a small release time due to switching devices. This is usually about the time when I start feeling the need to cum grow stronger, and the feelings of frustration really start to take hold. I’m curious: is this change obvious from where you are standing, or is it a gradual slide as the days go on?

Lady: It’s really obvious when you are physically showing your frustration and your horniness. It does seem to occur day to day and sometimes can be triggered by how much physical attention (teasing) I’m offering. When you are only using your words to express it I don’t feel your level of need, other times you are basically “jumping my bones” and then it’s very obvious. LoL

cm: The only reason I haven’t been “jumping your bones” in the last few days is because we haven’t been in the same room alone for very much time. If I had more chances to do so, I would be definitely taking advantage of them! Believe it or not, pleasing you and serving you relieves some of the frustration for a short while. But the feelings come right back when you turn the focus back to driving me nutty.

Lady: So you’re saying times like this morning when I come upstairs, wake you up and end up teasing you help your frustration level? 😉

cm: I don’t know if I’d use the word “help.” 🙂 But yes, it drives me nuts! I want to be inside you, feel you without the cage around me. It feels so good, and I know it’s so far away. You don’t even know how frustrating it is at times.

Lady: No, you’re right, I can’t imagine how frustrating it is but I certainly can imagine many ways to make the frustration worse.

cm: You’ve definitely shown that you are capable of increasing my frustration. When you let me inside your wet pussy but only in the cage, it is very difficult for me to be so close to what I want but still not getting what I need.

Lady: It’s very easy for me to create frustration for you but that doesn’t mean I’M not frustrated too! It’s not the same frustration but it’s hard just the same. Like it’s easy wanting so bad to feel you? Easy to want to feel that cock sliding in and out of my pussy and cumming deep inside me? Easy to want to feeling the warmth of your skin touching mine and the heat we create between my legs when we make love… that doesn’t frustrate me?

cm: Omg……….. what were we talking about? Oh yes, FRUSTRATION!!! I understand that you can get frustrated at times, too. But look at the situation: you can unlock me at any time you want and get the things that you desire, with or without allowing me to orgasm. Your frustration is sort of self-imposed; you can end it at any time. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to suffer through the frustration until you are willing to grant me release. You have to admit, those are two completely different experiences.

Lady: Ah true but what good is getting it anytime I want when I get to enjoy all the build up before I do finally allow it and/or take it? Living in an aroused state is a wonderful feeling… but frustrating still the same 🙂 Yes, if I wanted it, I could come to you, unlock that beautiful ready and willing cock and slowly slide it in my already wet pussy and make you cum within a few thrusts… but what’s the fun in that when while you are in your super aroused state you are so sweet, physically loving and mega attentive. Once you cum that’s all over for at least a week!

cm: Ugghhhhh…. how much longer until I’m out????

Lady: Well let’s just say you’re going to be a needy, aching, desperate mess by the time Christmas gets here and I’m going to love every single minute of it 🙂

Refocusing When Life Gets in the Way

Posted by Lady M on November 27, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 4 comments

The last few days have been very busy with regular old life stuff. It seems like we’ve been on the go since Sunday morning with Baton Competition, School stuff, meetings, doctor appointments and work. I noticed last night that I am starting to feel a sort of disconnect. I’m not all crazy horny, not feeling all that sexy teasy and really not feeling all that wanted.

I realized this morning when cagedmonkey got home from work that I really miss him. I miss being in the same room, teasing him and flirting with him. I miss being the center of his attention. We’ve been so busy that our time alone together has been very little to none. We usually get at least an hour and a half together alone at night to cuddle or get in some foot, leg, body or pussy worship. It usually depends what I’m in the mood for. What hit me this morning was, after getting the kids set up with breakfast, cagedmonkey came in the kitchen, got on his knees and gave my pussy a little lick & kiss. At first I almost told him to stop but then I took a breath, relaxed my muscles and just exhaled with a little moan. At that moment the tingles went through me and I realized “holy crap I miss this!”

That got me thinking about what I’m really missing over the last couple weeks. What it comes down to is me longing for the attention, the touches, the kisses. For a couple living the Chastity Lifestyle these things are now the foreplay. For a regular vanilla couple, the touches and kisses can be far less getting to the oral which is the foreplay. In the Chastity Lifestyle the oral has become the sex and the touches, kisses and licks, the foreplay.

I figured, as a KeyHolder and wife in charge, I would write a little description of what I’d like from cagedmonkey to make up for what I’m missing:

I will direct him to get naked and get on his knees in front of me. I will tell him to remove my shirt which will expose my naked breasts. One thing he loves is to do in this position is to lick and suck my breasts but, for now, I will not give him permission for that. I will tell him to take down my pants, leaving my lacy panties in place. I’ll instruct him to get the body lotion while I lay down on my stomach on the couch. He will kneel down beside me and begin giving me a body massage with my shoulders, down my back slowly making sure his fingers touch every part of my shoulders and back. Since I’m still wearing those ever so sexy lace panties he will skip massaging my beautiful round ass. He will only be able to look at it and want to touch it, kiss it and lick it. Instead he will move to the tops of my smooth thighs and massage his way down to my ankles, taking care that his fingertips are touching every single part of me. At this point, I will turn over to lay on my back and rather than making him massage my feet with his hands, I will tell him to worship my feet. He will lick, suck and kiss my toes and feet and massage them with his tongue. He will then continue to massage back up my legs, once again skipping over my pelvic area to my stomach and chest. I will allow him to massage all of the places around my breasts but not actually touch them. These things will not only feel amazing to me but they will be torturing him because he loves my breasts, my ass and my pussy, all of which I’m not yet allowing him to have. I really want him to learn that in this lifestyle the foreplay is just as important as the oral pleasure. These are the some of the things that cause the super wet, dripping, sloppy wet pussy he loves to slurp up.

Now that we’ve gotten a good lesson in foreplay I will allow him access to the parts he loves, one by one starting with my breasts. When I feel he has done a sufficient job at worshipping them, I will give him permission to worship another area that gives me pleasure. He will continue worshipping the areas I give him permission to before he will be allowed anywhere near the sweet spot. I know all this time he will be dying to make me cum. Getting so aroused by the fact that I am in control of everything he is doing and allowed to do. I will tell him what to do and how long to do it, I’ll even correct him and tell him how to do it if necessary. I know he will be straining against the bars of his cage, wishing he could feel my pussy, touch it, taste it. Desperately wanting to see and feel my body respond to what he is doing. To feel my muscles tense up and my pussy tighten as my breath gets shorter and faster. Hearing my inability to hold back my moans while he is bringing me to the edge, pushing me past and ultimately feeling the huge squirt of my warm pussy juice filling up his mouth forcing him to swallow a few times to drink it all down.

Yup, that is what I’m missing… I wonder what my night will be like tonight! :)~

Let’s Talk About Lube

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 22, 2013
Posted in: Advice, Chastity Device, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 1 comment

One of the most important aspects of wearing a chastity device for an extended period of time is daily maintenance. For the sake of both comfort and safety, it’s important to do your “daily chores” and take care of your cage as well as its prized contents.

First, it’s very important to keep your cage clean. The easiest way to accomplish this task is to wash your cage after removing it, however this may not be an option for some guys whose keyholder keeps them locked in a device 24/7… like me, for example. In my case, I find that a good rinse in the shower once a day is sufficient, but I try to give it a good soap-and-water wash at least every other day. Men who are using a more enclosed style of device may require more frequent soap washes.

Just as important as washing is drying your cage. At first, I simply towel-dried out of the shower, but I found there were some spots that were beginning to rust from retained water. Seeing as though the Birdcage I wear is chrome-plated steel, I didn’t worry too much about the rust… however, I didn’t want mold to grow. Using a hair dryer on low/cool setting seems to work better than a towel.

The next step in daily maintenance is applying proper lubrication. Lubing up is one of the most important things you will do involving your cage on a daily basis. When you forget to do it, you will realize it. And you most likely will not forget again for quite a while. Lubrication is important because you want things to be able to move around freely down there without any chafing or pinching. With a proper snug-fitting cage, there is high potential for skin irritations from normal behaviors such as sitting, walking, or attempted erections. Lubrication helps things to move around a little easier. My Lady loves to tease me and watch her cock try to grow inside the cage and press against the bars, straining against the unyielding steel. Without lubing up, this would end up being a lot more uncomfortable than it already is.

I find that more lube is better than less. I began using Q-tips to apply the lube under and around the bars of my Birdcage, until I realized that my finger fits well in the spaces between the steel. I may be forced to use the Q-tips when ML decides to start using a more enclosed device on me.

Using the correct type of lube is also vital. Water-based lubricants are best in my opinion, because they can be used with pretty much any type of device; silicone-based or petroleum-based lubes shouldn’t be used with either silicone or plastic devices because they can degrade the material. Not only is the type of lube critical, but also the brand that you buy can contribute to the quality of your “lubricatedness.” I have found that name brand products work best, as they should; Astroglide is my personal favorite. Store brand lubes can be just as good, but beware – not all store brand products are created equal! I just recently found that. although the Rite-Aid brand of personal lubricant works just fine for me, the Equate brand (available at Walmart) gets very sticky and “goobery” when it dries. Just because one store brand doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean another won’t also. Don’t be afraid to try a few different types out. If all else fails, spring for the good stuff. It’ll be worth it.

At first, I thought that fitting all of these duties into my routine would be a hassle. But honestly, I really enjoy performing my “daily maintenance” tasks. I feel that taking good care of my cage is a way to show my devotion to my keyholder and to show my gratitude that she has valued me enough to lock me up to be hers and hers alone to control. It is my way of saying “thank you.”

An Introduction

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 20, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

Welcome to Monkey in a Cage, our little corner of the internet where we give you insight on our adventures in enforced male chastity!

When My Lady and I first decided to try out this lifestyle, we found that there was a lot of info available on the internet. The problem was that not a lot of sources were, shall we say, credible. Sure, there were blogs explaining the details of the lifestyle – almost all from the viewpoint of the male – but they just seemed too “edgy.” My wife and I had trouble believing they were serious. “Are there any NORMAL people who live this lifestyle?” we asked on more than one occasion.

This blog hopes to answer that question with a resounding YES!

Here you will find our thoughts and experiences that come from living the lifestyle of enforced male chastity. Not only will you find thoughts and posts on subjects from my (male/caged) point of view, but also from My Lady’s (female/keyholder) point of view. Yes, women actually have interesting things to say on this subject, too! Some of the things we post will be extremely hot and sexy; some of our posts definitely WILL NOT be. But everything you read here will be 100% honest. We are not porn stars and we are not actors. We are REAL PEOPLE. This is a place where you can discover exactly what living a full time lifestyle of male chastity means.

We love answering questions and crave feedback, so please feel free to comment on our posts and/or reach out to us via our “Contact Us” page. And please enjoy following along as we walk down this exciting road!