marriage

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I’m So Glad… Grateful… Happy…

Posted by Lady M on June 27, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

Cagedmonkey and I don’t normally talk about the specifics when we bring up how important communication is in a relationship. I just wanted to describe one thing that he and I both say often because we remember what it felt like, up until 2 years ago (this month), when we fixed this whole union.

We often say things like “I’m so glad I can say (sexual) things like that to you now” or “I’m so happy we can show each other how horny we are for each other now” or “I’m so grateful we went through all that to be where we are now.” It’s not bringing up the past, it’s not resentment, it’s quite simply appreciation for the mess that our relationship was and the work we went through for the past two years – and will continue to go through – to clean up the mess, the fear, the anger and the resentments.

It’s almost liberating and makes us feel so good to say “thank God we went through that” so we know it is a place neither of us wants to be again. Sometimes old feelings come up, past behaviors or situations and each of us has gotten anxious at one time or another. The difference now is, right away, we speak up and take care of the worry. We both love where our intimacy is, we love loving each other and we aren’t taking that for granted anymore!

Communication truly is an amazing thing! If I can offer one bit of advice to anyone it would be to be honest with your spouse about your feelings, wants and desires. Even if you don’t understand them or why you are feeling them. Just get them out there because NO one knows what you’re feeling or how to support you if you don’t tell them.

A Short Spanking Session

Posted by cagedmonkey on June 19, 2015
Posted in: Chastity Device, D/s, Health, Male Chastity, Marriage, Medical. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

My Lady hasn’t been feeling very well lately; she has been dealing with strong body aches and generalized overall pain from time to time. I wish I could do something to help her out and relieve her pain, but there’s not much I can do other than being supportive and loving whenever I can.
 
Our sexy fun play time has suffered greatly over the past few weeks because of this. It may seem superficial, but ML and I both agree that sexual attraction and physical intimacy is a very important part of our relationship. I can tell ML is getting worried that her physical issues are drawing energy away from our sex life. She doesn’t REALLY need to worry about that stuff – we can definite adjust to this situation, as we’ve been through much worse already – but it’s nice when I can help ease her fears when possible (and get her a little turned at the same time).
 
We were sitting on the couch tonight watching some TV before I had to leave for work, ML was resting her hand on my hip as I was laying on my side next to her. With the sole purpose of making her smile, I pulled the waistband of my shorts down to show her my naked ass. She giggled and squeezed my butt and gave them a soft slap with her palm. Her touch felt so nice on my naked skin, and a moment later I was up on my knees next to her on the couch, bent over the arm with my naked ass pointed in her direction. As her hands caressed my ass cheeks, I heard her make what would be best described as a half laugh/half moan, a sound that she often makes when she is surprised by just how turned on she is getting. It was music to my ears.
 
For the next few minutes, My Lady smacked my ass until I whimpered and tickled my balls until I couldn’t help but squirm. She gently stroked the base of my cock until I filled up my cage, and she teased the sensitive area between my balls and asshole until I was moaning into the couch cushions. “It’s so cute,” she said as she toyed with me, “I love to watch your ass twitch.” I couldn’t hold still as she brushed her fingers over my exposed skin, and she spanked me hard enough to make me yelp.

It eventually was time for me to get ready for work, but it felt really great to get those juices flowing between us again. It was also wonderful to see My Lady enjoying making my cage tight around my throbbing cock.

Remember That Time We Forgot to Put the Bondage Equipment Away?

Posted by Lady M on May 1, 2015
Posted in: Bondage, Marriage. Tagged: , , , . 3 comments

Today was absolutely hilarious! Last week I saw a mouse in the apartment so I called the office and they said they’d send over the pest control guy. Awesome, but since I saw the mouse in our bedroom closet cagedmonkey and I knew we really needed to put away the sex toys and bondage equipment. We had the doggystyle stockade and accessories and stuff all on the floor on the other side of the bed so the kids wouldn’t see it. We kept reminding each other we needed to put it away but things kept coming up and we kept pushing it off.

I didn’t even think about it today until the guy knocked on the door. Oh Shit! I said to myself and I was hoping to make it to the bedroom to wake up hubby and quickly throw the little stuff in the drawer. But, no! The dude was right at my heels going down the hall. He practically walked in the bedroom while I was trying to tell hubby he needed to come in to set some traps.

I was dying as he walked to the other side of the bed and there was the stockade, the fleshlight, the leather wrist and ankle cuffs and a few other things. As he’s stepping over the stockade he makes the comment, “got a little bit of a 50 Shades of gray thing going on here, huh?” Bahahaha I almost crapped myself! All I could do was laugh out loud but in my head I heard myself say, “50 Shades ain’t got nothin’ on me, baby!” If he only knew! I’m pretty sure he was thinking that I was the one that that those handcuffs and things got used on.

I bet I turned 50 shades of red, I was pretty embarrassed and cagedmonkey, I’m sure wanted to hide under the blanket, but hey, whatever! Shit happens and it honestly wasn’t that big of a deal but really it was quite a laugh. I just apologized for not putting it away and him having to step over it. He assured me he’s seen plenty of stuff when doing his job and it was no big deal. I’m so sure we’ll be laughing about this for a long time. It’ll be a great memory! Monday, when he comes back to check the traps, should be interesting! Haha

Bittersweet Reality of Life and Still the Horny Stays Strong

Posted by Lady M on April 24, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Medical. Tagged: , , , , , , . 2 comments

Today was supposed to be cagedmonkey’s surgery, for the second time. If you’ve been reading you know how that turned out. A lot has happened this week, actually a lot has happened to us in the past two weeks, some good, some bad. We’ve actually managed to get in a little play and sexy teasy time even though, emotionally, things have been up and down.

It all started with finding out cagedmonkey had ridiculously high blood pressure and him ending up in the emergency room. Since that time we’ve cancelled and rescheduled and cancelled his surgery again. We’ve had him at the cardiologist, started him on two meds and scheduled him for loads of testing to try to find out the cause of his high blood pressure. Wish us luck there, the doctors are semi confused!

We’ve had to put our almost 15 year old cat to sleep. She was an amazing girl. CM found her when she was 3 weeks old, half dead, behind his work. He brought her home to me and when we took her to the vet we were told, “don’t get too attached, there’s no way she’s going to make it!” I nursed her back to health and Ha! She proved them wrong and lived a long healthy 15 years. Nah nah! She was our first “baby,” together so it’s been pretty hard on both of us. I’m so happy that cagedmonkey got to hold her and tell her we loved her as she drifted off to heaven.
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Now, not only did we experience disappointment and heartache, we did get some happy moments! We got to take care of hubby’s blood pressure so he didn’t have a stroke on the operating table. He started meds which seem to really be helping his blood pressure and his numbers are looking way better! We also got to celebrate our little guy’s 7th birthday yesterday. It turned out to be an awesome day for all of us. We had fun birthday shopping, having dinner and some frozen yogurt. After such a long day the kids even decided to hold off on birthday cake until today so we still get a little more celebration tonight!

I’ve written before about the “roller coaster of life” and this is just more on that bumpy road. Life has ups and downs, sometimes for us, those all cram themselves into a very short time but we survive and come out stronger on the other side. And now this weekend (our weekend is Sunday/Monday) cagedmonkey and I hope to get in some playtime. I must say I’m absolutely loving how touchy-feely, crazy-for-me, horny hubby is. I’m walking around with super wet panties because he can’t keep his hands off of me. I love hearing how horny he is, how bad he needs and wants to cum, how he wishes he could drop to his knees and please me! Mmm, deliciousness!

I just want to thank the “Chastity Gods” that found a way to bring this into our lives because without it, I think, we both would fall into a depression, our intimacy would suffer and ultimately our lacking sex life would cause huge amounts of resentment in our relationship – oh wait, been there and done that! Yeah… I’m so glad we found this amazing way to keep things fresh and hot, even during these emotional roller coaster rides that we certainly did not get in line for!

A Much Happier Birthday

Posted by Lady M on April 8, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , . 2 comments

I have this whole PTSD thing around the holidays and my birthday. In the past things always seem to happen on the holidays or surrounding them, whatever. Not good, happy things but icky usually bad things. Stuff like being in the emergency room on morphine with a kidney stone, people dying to feeling like the entire world forgot I was born.

Over the past almost two years since hubby and I made the decision to repair and renew our marriage, one of the things we’ve been working on is the PTSD from these holidays. I have to say that my anxiety around Valentine’s day and our Anniversary is now much less but my birthday is still a touchy spot, apparently! I didn’t realize it was until the days got closer and then… my worst nightmare! Our 15yo cat, that we’ve had since she was 3 weeks old, got deathly ill. She stopped eating, dropped a ton of weight (for a cat) and got very dehydrated. I kinda started freaking out thinking any minute was the end.

Finally on Saturday we took her to the vet, got some xrays to look for tumors because her respiratory rate was off, bloodwork, etc. Vet gave her fluids, a steroid to hopefully increase appetite and told us to wait for the results… until Tuesday. Ugh! I have to wait to find out if my cat is dying until Tuesday? My birthday, of all days? I was devastated and so was cagedmonkey. This cat is more his baby than anybody’s. He found her half dead behind a dumpster, she just clung to him and he knew he had to save her. Way back then we were told she’d be dead soon and not to get attached… here we are 15 years later!

Anyway, my point for this post is to say how my day turned out to be. Yesterday morning my amazing hubby brought me home some gorgeous bold colored flowers, he knows me so well!
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He even made my heart melt by attempting to make me a “rainbow” cake, with the kids. It was so, oh my goodness, sweet of him and really just gave me this feeling inside I’m not sure I’ve felt in awhile. It was so wonderful to have someone go to such lengths to do something for me. It doesn’t matter that the cake went weird… It was simply the most loving generous thought.

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Still tasted yummy!


The one thing that got me like no other was hubby’s card. I laughed so hard at his homemade card (as I usually do!) that I started coughing so hard and choking. Haha it was now his best card, to date, and my absolute favorite.
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Front


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Middle


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2nd middle

I just adore my husband’s sense of humor. Though I also love his romantic sentimental side. Inside of this card my hubby wrote me a list for my 39th birthday. It was a list of 39 of the reasons that he loves me and every one of them nuzzled it’s way in my heart to help comfort the PTSD that comes from my birthday.

Not to mention the gift we got when the Vet called to say that, although there were a couple tumors on our cats lung, that she felt they were of little concern. The xray showed that some how our little old lady cat had broken a couple of ribs. We are being cautiously optimistic, treating her ribs with pain meds and giving her some antibiotics (she had a slightly elevated white cell count) and going to pray this was the reason she stopped eating.

So like I said, this birthday turned out to be so much more than I ever could have expected. So happy for my family and so happy for the news from the vet. So, thank you cagedmonkey, for making my day great, I’m lucky to have you! 🙂

His Love Comforts Me

Posted by Lady M on March 31, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , . 1 comment

I hate those times when I feel disconnected from cagedmonkey. This past week or so of him being sick is apparently getting to me. I had to stop yesterday and sit down and talk to him because I could feel myself overanalyzing, worrying and wondering. Not about anything in particular, because I don’t truly have any weird signs but just overall about the lack of connection. So rather than do the normal “woman” thing when I started to feel that, I went right to cagedmonkey to tell him these, in a way, irrational feelings I was having.

What I normally would do is just hold it in, push the feelings aside and not really acknowledge or deal with them. I learned the hard way that doing those things is nothing more than the perfect way for me to spiral emotionally out of control and to start fabricating a million different reasons as to why he doesn’t love me. Rationally, I know this is ridiculous but emotionally and hormonally, I’m a woman. We are built this way.

Anyway I sat down yesterday morning with cagedmonkey and told him I was feeling disconnected. We talked about why I might be feeling that and without the physical love between us, I think a little ptsd was kicking in. I am so busy and getting worn from taking care of him while he’s been sick, the kids, the house and realized that no one is taking care of me. I started to miss the feeling of being wanted, cared for, desired physically. Not that I need him to do things for me, but I do like that he wants to. With him being sick those “I’m going to do this for her because it’s helpful and she will know I’m thinking of her and focused on her” things don’t happen. Those “hey honey I set up your coffee maker to brew for the morning so you don’t have to” little things that make me feel like he wants to see me smile and swoon aren’t there. Anyway, without those things I started to get those “I’ll just have do it all myself” feelings again and I knew those were not ok feelings, he’s sick and I don’t have to do it all myself. Those things will be back, his dick is still locked in a cage for me and when I can get back to teasing him properly everyday and using him for my pleasure everything will be back to normal.

The good thing about communicating is that simply telling him and acknowledging that I was feeling that way made a huge difference for me in my emotional state. Communicating also brings him into my head and he is then able to give what he can to help me not feel the way I do. If he never knows what silly irrational thoughts I’m having, how can he show me or tell me they are silly irrational thoughts? I rob him of the opportunity to adjust his behavior and to support me. It’s as if I am going to battle, alone, in my own head. It’s better to have someone there fighting with you and for you.

My love, my protector, the guardian of my heart and soul… my knight in literal shining armor 🙂

Depressed Dominant – Communicating and Working Through

Posted by Lady M on March 13, 2015
Posted in: Bondage, Conversations, D/s, Male Chastity, Marriage, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

Yesterday I started to feel a bit depressed and I couldn’t exactly put a finger on the specific thing that was making me feel down. I do know that it hit me quick and hit me kinda hard. One of the crappy things about being so in tune with my mental state (I’ve got way too many years of therapy to thank for that) is that I FEEL my depression kick in almost immediately. I feel my body change and my thoughts change. Yes, it’s an AWESOME thing that I can now do that because I can get right on top of it and work out the problem before I spiral out of control down into a deep hole. So, I knew something was wrong after cagedmonkey came home and asked “do you think I could get out and maybe sleep more comfortably?” For some reason that really got to me.

When I got up yesterday morning and was texting with CM on his way home from work, I was excited about maybe putting him in the bondage sack and depriving him good sleep and just tormenting him all day. It was exciting to think about all the things I wanted to do to tease him and drive him crazy. After all, I had spent the night before sending him pics and video of me getting off with my wand. It really seemed to drive him nuts.
wand
After he got home and asked me to get out in such a non-urgent way it just gave me this feeling that he wasn’t even horny. I felt like he wasn’t aching to get out and that all the teasing and stuff I’d been doing wasn’t frustrating him at all. I LOVE to see his frustration, to hear him beg, to know that what I’m doing is making him bonkers. I mentioned to him that I thought he should unlock and masturbate because he didnt seem all that submissive to me. I felt like maybe he was just bored and done playing my game. This apparently confused him because in his mind he was feeling very submissive – I just wasnt seeing it outwardly. This is where the wonderful communication in a relationship comes in.

Our conversation was through text messages because of the kids, it went like this:

CM: I’m sorry you feel as though my desire to be dominated is gone…. I don’t know what is causing these thoughts, but it’s not true…. I love being controlled by you, being kept by you, being yours and only yours all day every day…. Is it possible that you are questioning your own level of passion for this? Could it be that you are projecting – instead of me not being as submissive as you like, in fact you are not being as dominant as you want to be? Not trying to blame you, I promise, just trying to figure out what the deal is.

LM: I don’t feel like I have any loss of passion… At the moment I don’t feel submission and maybe it is my fault maybe I’m not being dominant enough, maybe I’m not intense enough… I’m just feeling inadequate.

CM: I don’t feel that’s true. I’m enjoying everything about us.
Would you like me to stop “asking out”? Is that me taking too much power from you?

LM: I don’t know what I want… I want to feel like you NEED desperately to be out and that’s why your asking and not feel like it’s a “hey yeah, I was thinking I could sleep comfortably” thing… Maybe what I need is to keep you locked up a little extended and tease you to tears. Maybe it was just that whole situation made it feel weird… Maybe I need to hear some me and you fantasies too. Not stockade, fucking machine, girlie play partner, abandonment fantasies but you and me fantasies from you. To feel like there is still this dynamic in your mind between us and that all that other stuff isn’t necessary. I dunno, I guess sometimes I feel like I’m competing with the bigger fantasies and maybe I won’t live up to those.

CM: I don’t “fantasize” about us too much because it’s already real and I love it! Maybe I’ve gotten too much into the “don’t expect anything” mentality, but I haven’t shared too much only because I don’t want to push you or affect you, etc… I was really hoping you’d follow through with your “sleep sack” idea today. It’s been a while since you’ve done any full bondage/teasing type stuff…. I didn’t want to push too hard and mention it/ask for it because that’s not what I do anymore. We’ve had a lot of “starter” moments lately – like the other day when you were stimulating pegging me on the bed, etc – but not a lot of times where we’ve actually played together. I figured you were getting back into it on your own pace, so I didn’t want to pressure you.

LM: I guess I at least want to know that you think about and desire things between us… it’s not about asking because I like that you don’t ask or push me or annoy me to do things… but telling me “oh I was thinking, last night, about that time when you tied me to the bed….” or “I dreamed about us laying together and I realized you had tied me down and you were masturbating next to me and I couldn’t move to help or touch you or even look at you” etc. Knowing that you think about me sexually, that you remember those times makes me want to recreate them or do something similar… it let’s me know that I did something good and you liked it and you want it again. It’s not you asking when you are reminiscing – even if you wrote about it on the blog – how “that one time” felt, how you loved it, what you loved, that you’d love it again… stuff like that. Being “caught up” in something we did – not obsessing but the “wow, ugh, awesomeness, frustration” and reminiscing – that’s a good word to describe it… not getting stuck in a moment or on something we did but being caught up in it just enough to show me “fuck that was awesome can we do it again?”

CM: I will try harder to find that “middle ground.”

LM: Btw we’ve had those moments but then the playtime is lost and, today… I just felt blah after this morning and my oomph for the sleep sack drifted quickly and I had this why bother feeling… like it wouldn’t matter if I did because I’m not good enough anyway.

CM: I’m sorry I haven’t been giving you what you need.

LM: I don’t think it’s that YOU haven’t been giving me what I need… I just think I’m figuring it out, right now, talking to you… that sometimes (obviously not all the time!) I need to know what I’m doing is good and appreciated and wanted and desired. Maybe I’m completely wrong and I just suck.

CM: You don’t suck, I wish you sucked more, tbh 😉
On my penis
My achy needy penis

…

Ok, ok you can see where that conversation led after that. Having that conversation actually catapulted us into an extremely frustratingly horny day. I was sopping wet all day while we were sexting and sneaking playful moments here and there when the kids were busy. It was wonderful to talk about all the naughty, playful, kinky things we do again. I’ve missed hearing how tight his cage feels or how what I’m doing is effecting him. I think we got to a point where it just felt so normal to horny all the time and he must have figured I knew he was horny, so why tell me. Well… telling me fuels me, keeps me going and makes me eager to push the intensity level. I really am just figuring this out and I’m so happy that my marriage is in a different place now. Two years ago, we’d never mention sex, let alone have a conversation about anything that was bothering one of us. We would hold on to it and let it build resentment – it was how we coped with the fear. This is SO much better and I love being in this place with my husband. I love him and where we are emotionally, spiritually and sexually.

Keeping It Real

Posted by Lady M on February 17, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , , . 3 comments

In the past few days (and since starting or blog) we’ve often gotten wonderful comments about the realness of our blog. It’s comments like these that I love.

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Way back when we started this blog we said it would always be real (unless we’re writing about fantasies!). We wanted to document our journey as a married couple with young children. We promised to never embellish and always share the truth. I just love that people see that and appreciate it! It really just makes me smile so big! 🙂

Thank you for taking the time to read our journey, the good and the bad. We love sharing this with you!

What a Nice Little Surprise – It’s the Little Things

Posted by Lady M on February 13, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 8 comments

Pretty much every night, I pack up dinner for cagedmonkey to take to work. A few nights out of the week I will sneak in little love notes for him to find while at work. Most times they are in his lunch, sometimes I can sneak one in his work bag or coat pocket. I do love hearing that he found them and that he loves knowing that I’m thinking about him during the night. It really does come down to the little things in a relationship. Those sweet little surprises to let your love know you are thinking of them and love them.

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It doesn’t take a lot of money or actual gifts, though those are nice too. Just a simple note hidden where they’ll find it or even that phone call or text everyday at the same time to ask if they need anything. The fact that you thought of your love is such a huge little thing. 🙂

Like I said, I usually leave these little notes and I know cagedmonkey enjoys them. Well it just so happened that I had on a pair of panties yesterday that hubby just loved and couldn’t stop touching or talking about. He loved them so much that he asked if he could make me cum a couple times, right in the panties, before work instead of the usual panties off pussy eating. Of course I said yes, I do like to please my subby hubby and this was such a sweet thing he asked for. How could I not say yes to my sweet sexy boy?

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He made me cum 3 times, I do believe, before work so my panties were soaked. Just after he had to rush a bit to get ready to leave so I was helping him. I packed his dinner (slid off my panties in the kitchen) and helped him get his work bag together (and snuck said panties in a pocket I knew he would go into at work) and did our good bye routine. Yes, we do the same thing and say the same thing each night as he leaves and any time he leaves. It’s ritualistic and comforting for both of us.

Later in the night as, he and I were chatting during his break – which it actually closer to 2am – he messaged me how he found the panties. He was in heaven! He said he instantly filled his Jail Bird when he saw them. I just love knowing a simple little thing like my wet yummy cummy panties could give him such enjoyment and turn him on!

Of course I didn’t just leave it at that. I instructed him to smell my panties and rub his hand in the wet gooey crotch so he had to spend the rest of the night continuing to smell my lovely scent.

I really do love everything about being a cocktease.

Nothing Says Vacation Like Crystal Blue Waters

Posted by Lady M on January 31, 2015
Posted in: Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments
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The view from our balcony

Cagedmonkey and I are finally sitting in the comfort of our own living room after spending almost two weeks cruising the Caribbean. We ate way too much food, drank a lot more than we usually do, saw some amazing places, had gorgeous weather and enjoyed swimming in the ocean. We went snorkeling in St Thomas, which was such an outstanding experience and so was swimming with dolphins in Tortola.
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The kids had a fantastic time during their theme nights, playing games and making friends in the kids program on the ship. That left mommy and daddy with time to spend together kid-free. We saw a few shows with acrobats and comedians and spent time listening to music in the bars. We also had time to just sit and relax in some big comfy chairs together.
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The islands were beautiful and we enjoyed shopping and getting some amazing prices on things. Everything was tax and duty free so the prices were crazy low compared to the states.
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Cagedmonkey even got me a gorgeous blue opal butterfly pendant and a necklace that kinda matches the tattoo on my leg. Everyone got really great souvenirs from our ports of call.

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Yes I put the pendant on my necklace with my keys at first 🙂


We really did enjoy some fun times and lovely sights. Our ship had an amazing pool and we got to see the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises on the ocean. We even got to see a rainbow from our balcony.
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That’s not all we did on that balcony! We got a little sexy on that balcony. We had sex a couple times and once, while leaning over the railing being pounded doggystyle I happened to look to my left and a few cabins down I see a guy taking pictures right in my direction. I didn’t tell cagedmonkey right away lol I just slowly leaned my head back from the railing. I did tell him after the fact and honestly I’m sure that dude snapped a picture of my “O” face haha. I think cagedmonkey liked that we had a private balcony that he could just walk out onto naked and just enjoy the beautiful sun. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pics to share of his sexy nakedness on the balcony. I think we were too much into enjoying each other to think to grab the phone for some pictures. The times we got to spend any sexy time together was very spontaneous which was actually pretty nice. Usually, when locked in the cage, we have to plan things a bit because of the need to remove it.

Our trip wasn’t all fun and games and horny times lol cagedmonkey did have a few days on the way there and back suffering with sea sickness. We got him some meds but they really made him awfully tired. We tried to have a few moments here and there but to be honest, I wish there would have been a lot more sexy times especially with so many mirrors all around the bed. Life just doesn’t always work that way. We did have an amazing trip and experienced new things in an amazing place. We couldn’t have asked for a better vacation.

We are happy to be back on land and very happy to be back in our own home living life on our terms. Can’t wait to get back into our kinky life, I think we both have really missed it and I almost wish we had the cage so we could have locked up cagedmonkey as soon as we got through customs back in New York City. It’s good to be home though!

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Nice pic of the south side of Manhattan & the "Freedom Tower"


See all that snow NYC didn’t get? Haha