power exchange

All posts tagged power exchange

Barriers

Posted by JonMustWait on February 9, 2026
Posted in: Power Exchange, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

We don’t always get what we feel we need – a statement that rings true not only with chastity & denial, but also life in general. Take this past week, for example: Michele has been out of town for work for the last week, and I miss her lots. I miss touching her, feeling her, being close to her. It sucks to have her so far away. She is coming home soon, though, so that need will be fulfilled fairly soon.

There is, however, another need that has gone unfulfilled during the past week… and will most likely stay unfulfilled for longer.

My cock has not felt the touch of skin since my wife left.

Under instruction from Michele, I have not been allowed to touch my cock with my bare hands since the start of her trip. Oh, trust me, it’s been getting plenty of attention – daily edges each morning, plus any extra that Michele, or John, request have kept my sexual arousal quite heightened. But any edge or touch of my cock has been performed with some sort of barrier involved: either a glove, using a toy, or even edging in my underwear has been the norm for this week.

Denied and Edging with a barrier
This is all I’m allowed at the moment.

I honestly didn’t expect it to have that much of an effect on me. After all, my cock is still getting attention; how important is the feel of skin-on-skin when it comes to edging? Very important, apparently.

It only took until about Wednesday for me to start really feeling the difference: my cock was so desperate for a soft warm touch, I started to get oversensitive. It was hard to concentrate during work, because even contact with my underwear was driving up my arousal. By Thursday, I was slightly sorta possibly maybe considering just saying “screw it” and grabbing my dick. But I was a good boy and obeyed, even though it was difficult.

The worst part is that there’s no telling when my cock will actually feel skin again – Michele has not given me an endpoint to this, as of yet. It may be weeks where my cock doesn’t get the warm personal touch of skin. We’ve even discussed pushing the idea of “barriers” further, and not allowing me to feel her skin sexually with my hands – any time I want to feel her ass, play with her boobs, or touch her pussy, I’ll have to wear gloves. I’m not sure if she’ll be implementing that or if that’s just an idea at the moment… but I’m kinda dreading it if she decides to go through with it.

As for now, I’m destined to continue to go more and more insane as my cock misses the touch of skin for longer and longer. Michele and John will have me use toys to continue this – different toys, with varying degrees of humiliation involved while using them. But I don’t think I can turn it down; after all, I could be denied touch all together…

Maybe I shouldn’t say that out loud, for fear of giving them ideas….

Does the Thought of Causing Someone Pain Excite You?

Posted by Michele on January 30, 2026
Posted in: BDSM, Power Exchange. Tagged: , , , . 4 comments

poppet asked an amazing question in a comment and I really wanted to address it in a post because it’s not as simple as “Hi, I’m Michele, I’m a sadist and I love it, it fulfills me and I get turned on by it.” lol so here goes, I hope this brings you a little further into our world as we keep writing.

The first time I held a cane and truly didn’t hold back, something clicked so deeply inside me. My mind felt focused, not reckless, rather grounded instead. Like every scattered part of me lined up behind a single intention. I wouldn’t say I was lost in the moment; as much as I was found there. The sounds, the reactions, the shared breath afterward… it all hit somewhere far deeper than adrenaline. It went straight to my soul. Exhilarating doesn’t quite cover it. I can remember getting shivers and giggling, genuine giggles, that were so happy.

What surprised me most wasn’t the act itself, but how everything felt right. Like I was fulfilling a need I’d been quietly carrying my whole life without knowing its shape. I remember feeling it in my chest with every swing of the cane, I still do, when we get a chance to use them. This wasn’t about “impact play” as a hobby or a technique. It was about something inside me finally being uninhibited… Power with responsibility, power with consent, power that’s offered a place to go.

Because a true sadistic urge isn’t satisfied by providing pain alone, it’s satisfied by exchange. By the moment you realize the person in front of you doesn’t just tolerate what you give, they need it. They need to be taken there. They need the weight of your focus, the certainty of your hand, the permission to let go because you are right there with them. And in that exchange, something electric passes between you: energy released, energy received.

There’s an intimacy in that kind of power that’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t felt it. It’s not about dominance for show. It’s about being trusted with someone’s vulnerability and discovering that your own desire to press, to push, to draw sensation out of another has a purpose. That it can be healing, grounding, even sacred when met by someone whose body and mind are asking for exactly what you are built to give. I will admit there is something arousing about it all. With all the feelings that get flowing, it doesn’t surprise me that the juices get flowing as well.

Once you know this stuff about yourself, it’s impossible to un-know. It becomes part of who you are, like realizing you prefer to masturbate left-handed or really like a certain position during sex. It doesn’t make you weird; it makes you defined, honest, alive.

For me, doing this isn’t about enjoying pain in isolation. It’s about the moment two needs meet perfectly and recognize that neither of you has to pretend anymore.

The Power of withholding: What He Gets & What He Doesn’t

Posted by Michele on January 19, 2026
Posted in: Dominant, Power Exchange, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

I’ve been thinking a lot, recently, about what it means to truly control pleasure, not necessarily by force, but by intention. By choosing what is withheld, what is delayed, and what is never guaranteed.

My husband doesn’t always see what’s coming, and that’s exactly how I like it. The future I’m shaping for him isn’t about cruelty. It’s about refinement, it’s about teaching his body and his mind that access is earned. That satisfaction is conditional, and is something I decide how, and if, he even gets to experience. Some things he once took for granted may just go away. While other things will become privileges he learns to crave more deeply than he ever expected. And then, of course, there are the carefully chosen allowances. The moments I let him have just enough to stay hopeful… and obedient.

We celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary this past weekend, and it turned into this eye-opening conversation about where we’re headed. We were curled up on the couch after dinner, when the talk shifted from our early kinky days to sketching out the edges of our evolving power exchange. It’s never been smooth sailing… there’s vulnerability in admitting what turns us on, especially when it pushes boundaries. But that’s the beauty of it: laying it all out there, just us figuring out what keeps the spark alive after two decades.

One thing that’s becoming non-negotiable, is the new baseline for my husband. His morning routine has changed. Before he even steps out of the bedroom, Jon will be teasing and edging his cock. It’s this deliberate start to the day that I  control completely, stroking slow and firm, pumping just enough to make pre-cum bead at the tip. No release, just that lingering ache as he gets dressed and heads out to the living room. If the mood strikes during the day, John and/or I might text him to edge himself in the bathroom at work.. fingers sliding up the underside of the head of his cock, squeezing his balls lightly… And, as always he is required to send a photo of his straining dripping dick as proof. It’s not every day, but when we choose to ramp it up, it keeps him connected to us and his mind buzzing.

Layered on top of that, the buttplug requirement adds this undercurrent of constant submission. I’ve picked out a few sizes/styles, for the days we designate… Tuesdays and Fridays, when he’s got specific, scheduled, things so he can stay consistent with it. And, if John and I are feeling playful, we might make him wear it longer or on different days or even use the NJoy wand to his prostate.

Our anniversary chat took a turn toward the horizon, though, where things get even more intense. I floated ideas about stripping away sensations entirely, making his world narrower and more controlled. Imagine no skin-on-skin contact at all. Or dialing it back so he can’t feel my pussy anymore, that slick heat clenching around him, denied… forever? We talked about limiting him to just John’s hand… strokes that bring him to the edge but never over. It’s a way to reshape his arousal, funneling it through us in ways that challenge him.

And then I pushed it further, to the extreme: what if the only path to an orgasm, or even an erection that leads anywhere, is through a man? What if he was forced to use his ”boyfriend” toy to fuck his own ass or to slide his dick in and get off? What if we took it as far as forced gay encounters as his sole outlet, him on his knees, taking a stranger’s cock down his throat or bent over, ass filled while he begs for release. No cumming unless it’s  in some guy’s ass (or some guy in his) or mouth, the humiliation twisting into fuel for his submission. I’d like to say this caused him to shift uncomfortably on the couch, as I described it, but honestly… his dick got rock hard.

We didn’t commit to any of that extreme stuff, yet of course, but it sure was fun talking about it and seeing his reaction to the possibilities. Who knows if we just unlocked a door we might step through someday. It’s not about changing who he is; it’s about expanding what he craves under my control.

Control isn’t just about what I take away. It’s about what I leave behind. The reminders that his pleasure still exists…just no longer on his terms. What he will miss will shape him. What I allow him to have will define him. And what I choose not to promise at all will keep him exactly where I want him: attentive, aching, and beautifully aware that his future pleasure lives entirely in my hands.

After all, anticipation can be far more powerful than fulfillment. And I have every intention of making the most of that.

It all begins in the mind

-M

Bruised, Bitchy and Too Stubborn to Quit

Posted by Michele on November 16, 2025
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , . Leave a Comment

Two weeks post-op and I’m finally starting to feel a tiny bit more like myself… but wow, this has been one hell of a ride. And not the fun “hands in the air” kind. More like the kind where the seat belt is too tight, the track is rickety, and the ride operator is an intern who definitely shouldn’t have been left in charge.

I knew hip replacement surgery would be tough, but I don’t think anything prepares you for just exactly how tough. I’m almost 50, I’ve run my household, my boss’ company, my kids, my men, and entire damn dynamics… and suddenly I’m the one who can’t get up without help. I’m the one who has to ask for things. I’m the one who can’t just “do it myself,” which has basically been my default setting for decades.

The first week was the worst, I won’t lie, it was an bit of a roller coaster. It was ups and downs, physically and emotionally. One minute I was fine and five minutes later something would trigger my nerves (literally) and I was in pain all down my leg. None of the unpredictable pain has been good for the mental health and sometimes I am doing good and feeling happy about doing good and the next I was pissed off at the world because I wasn’t able to do something or I was in intense pain. At one point the pain, frustration, exhaustion, something… all mixed together into some kind of nuclear-level bitchiness. I warned everyone, but still, Yikes, even I didn’t like me. I did apologize.


John flew out the night before surgery and was here for 11 days. He is such an amazing addition to our family, taking on the kids, the house, the meals, the med schedules, the waking up all hours of the night, the endless little tasks that feel like mountains right now. He did it partly because he wanted to help, and partly because he knew the second he left, it would all fall onto Hubby, and he wanted to soften that blow. Hubby wanted to do everything too, but John took the brunt of it that first week or so, because he knows these next few weeks are on cagedmonkey now that he’s gone. Cagedmonkey has to deal with catering to me everyday, taking care of the kids, the house and doing dinners and everything all by himself while going to work and his own self care. It’s a lot so I’m so happy we have the opportunity to spread out the heavy load between the two guys. That isn’t a level of help people can usually get. I’m blessed to be loved and cared for by two men.


Let me tell you… healing from hip surgery is no joke. Managing all my meds with the addition of pain meds, post op appts, PT exercises that feel like you’re learning to use your own body again. Ohhh, and the wound vac… oh my God… having that sucker (ha! See what I did there?! lol) removed was like torture. I swear they ripped off layers of my soul along with the adhesive. Seriously though, a few layers of my sensitive skin at my upper hip area were destroyed and it’s painful to get it healing.

I’m still using the walker, still moving slowly, still learning this new version of “walking.” But it’s getting better. The pain is different now and not in my hip joint, mostly my muscles and nerves. I’m taking fewer meds already, which I’m happy about… I am not a pain med person. I can actually get around the house without feeling like I’m climbing Everest. So… Progress is progress, I just need to remember that and not get discouraged. It’s really easy to do!

The hardest part now is my brain. My brain wants to get up and clean something, fix something, do something. It wants to move the way I always have… instinctively. However, my body just says “Nope. Sit down.” That’s been the biggest mindfuck of all. Knowing I can’t even if I want to… and I want to all the time.


I still have four more weeks before I’m even allowed to think about housework, bending, twisting, any of the basic things that made me feel capable and in control. It’s humbling, it’s frustrating, and it’s teaching me patience in ways I never asked for. But I’m healing, I’m improving, and I’m still Madam Allure even if I’m temporarily slowed down.

So, I am here, I’m bruised, and I may get bitchy, but I am absolutely too stubborn to quit. I promise to update again and find more time to write as I’m feeling better over the next few weeks… Why not since I’m not allowed to do anything else? LoL

Until next time…

Behave, or I’m coming after you with this walker! 😉

Madam

The Dominant’s Forced Submission

Posted by Michele on October 26, 2025
Posted in: In Real Life, Submissive. Tagged: , , . 4 comments

On October 31st, I’m getting a total hip replacement. This isn’t just a physical procedure… it’s a forced power exchange that will challenge every dominant, independent instinct I have.

For the first couple weeks, my body becomes my prison. I will be confined, restricted, and fully dependent. As someone who is used to holding the reins, being the decision-maker, and taking care of everything, this level of surrender is profound.This enforced downtime and physical limitation is basically forced submission. There is no negotiation with doctor’s orders.

This is where the strength of our relationship shines. John is flying in to join cagedmonkey and the kids. He will spend almost 2 weeks being my 24hr “support slave” 😊. Cagedmonkey will help when he can but he’s still got work and transporting children places when necessary etc. However, this crew, my lovers, my family, my support is morphing into a highly organized, care-focused power exchange unit. The guys will now be in charge of my meds, my movement, my schedule, and every logistical detail. They will manage the house, the kids, and my recovery. It feels as though I am surrendering all autonomy and control to their care.

For a dominant person, independence isn’t just a personality trait, it’s often a core part of their identity. Having my movement, energy, and freedom stripped away feels like losing a piece of myself, a direct hit to the place where my power resides.

The emotional experience is complex:
There is genuine frustration at the inability to move, clean, or even get my own cup of coffee. The dominant part of my mind screams at the loss of control, scraping against the bars of my physical limitations.

My experience in BDSM, however, gives me a strange kind of preparation. I know how to trust completely. I understand that sometimes the greatest strength is in the radical acceptance of a role. I’m going to do my best at allowing myself to be led and cared for without reservation.

Seeing John, and my husband, step into this role, coordinating, managing tasks, and placing my well-being above their own schedules, is an incredible act of love. This is the ultimate, real-life proof that what we’ve built isn’t simply passion; it’s the reliable, compassionate, and unwavering care we extend to one another when it is needed most. It is a different kind of power… the power of their commitment to me.

Given that my main activity will be resting in place, I’ll have plenty of time for distraction. Please feel free to drop a comment below or send me an email with your thoughts, questions, or just a story from your own life or lifestyle. Anything to keep me distracted and help me focus on the emotional submission rather than the masochistic reality of the physical pain. LoL
I look forward to being in less pain and feeling stronger. I can’t wait to take a walk again!

Wish me luck & have a safe Halloween!
Madam Allure

Feeling that Power

Posted by Michele on May 22, 2018
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , . 5 comments

A few minutes ago, Cagedmonkey, left for work. As he turned to walk out the door I pulled his pants down, pushed him against the door and grabbed his ass and groped his body and caged cock. Then I turned him around and grabbed him by the throat and back of his head and kissed him hard.

In that moment, I felt so powerful over him. I love feeling powerful, especially sexually. I love feeling in charge of my own pleasure and his. I love to feel his body almost melt at my powerful touch. I love hearing his moans as I grab him and forcefully kiss him and bite his lips.

I know that if he didn’t have to leave for work I would have very forcefully fucked him in that moment. I would have made him pleasure my pussy with his mouth and tongue and then slide his thick rock hard aching cock inside… If he were uncaged, of course. I could totally see myself grabbing the sides of his head and shoving his face in my pussy, rubbing it all over him.

I love when I’m feeling powerful like this, forceful and aggressive. I know that CM likes it too. I love that feeling of taking what I want, when I want it.

Mail Chastity: Dominance and Power

Posted by Michele on July 15, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

We had some other questions asked from Chastity Forums and I thought I would answer those publicly as well. 🙂

My question to you Lady M:

as a dominant woman do you feel the urge to “use” your submissive male for your pleasure, denying him any form of sexual release?

Every so often I do feel this urge to just “make him my bitch” as I put it. That could be anything from simply using his face and hands to get off whenever, wherever and however I like to locking him in the stockade and pegging him until I felt he’d had enough. Cagedmonkey is ALWAYS denied his orgasm unless I’m feeling generous. I do very much enjoy denying his orgasms. I like the man that he is when he is denied. 🙂

Question to CagedMonkey:

Just wanted to know if Caged Monkey felt the same when you took him so hard and dominantly? For me it certainly changed things, emotionally and physically, and brought me to a level of true submission last felt when she gave me a hiding in the spreader bar

It is an extremely intense experience when My Lady steps into her “ultra-dominant” role. I can usually see it in her eyes before anything else. It’s intimidating and a little bit scary, I admit, mainly because I know that literally ANYTHING that ML wants to happen can (and most likely will) happen. But it is also very exciting and thrilling to be taken in that way, feeling how much control she has over me and knowing that’s exactly how it should be.

Two Can Play at That Game!

Posted by JonMustWait on June 26, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 15 comments

There has been an interesting development in our T&D games this week.

My Lady has expressed some (tentative) interest in experiencing the locked side of chastity – she is willing to explore female chastity with me…. sometime in the unspecified future, according to her. 🙂 The thought of me in a dominating role with her is intriguing, she admits, but even more interesting would be how absolutely insane batshit crazy horny we would be for each other if we were both locked and holding each others’ keys. ML would never be interested in a long term version of this, and neither would I; she will always be the ultimate keyholder for me. Even in a mutual chastity setting, if she really REALLY wanted out, I’d allow it. She’s the boss, after all.

After approximately two weeks of total 24/7 chastity, ML is beginning to long for her much desired PIV. Sure, she’s gotten plenty orgasms (either from my tongue, my fingers, or her magic wand),  but she is really missing my cock. Rather than cave with over a month away from her goal of pushing me to August, she decided to challenge herself a little. She decided to test herself to see just how much denial she could handle – two days ago, she enacted a self-imposed ban on orgasms and penetration of any kind!

And I will admit this right now… I’m having a lot of fun with it.  🙂

First off, I’ll say that it hasn’t really been about me dominating her, really. It’s more like ML is using me as a tool to tease herself and to see how much she can take. It’s less “YOU’LL CUM WHEN I ALLOW IT, YOU LITTLE SLUT” and more “Am I teasing you well, ma’am?” It may seem like a strange dynamic, but it’s working and we are having lots of fun so far.

Pleasing ML so often in so many ways has put me in tune with her body and her responses to stimulation. Up until now, I’ve used this info in order to please her as best I can. Now, I’m using the knowledge of her responses to keep her from cumming. She may be an expert at edging me, but I can do the exact same thing to her. To be honest, it’s actually a little more difficult considering that ML can literally think herself to an orgasm (if only I could do that!!!). I have to be a little bit more careful in pushing her close to the edge, and I also have to rely on her not to deliberately make herself cum with only her mind. But she’s been playing the game the right way, and her pussy has almost been constantly wet since we started.

Edging ML sure is fun, but I might be enjoying teasing her with penetration even more. Before I left for work tonight, I was rubbing my fingers in between her pussy lips, spreading her wetness around. She was breathing heavy pretty quickly, and I could feel her hips pushing towards my hand. I pressed my fingers just the slightest bit more, almost pushing past her tight inner lips and into her pussy but juuuuuust not quite. ML began to whimper and moan, which is something I thought only I did when I was being teased.  🙂  Even hotter was what her pussy was doing – I could feel her pussy lips sort of grabbing at my finger and trying to pull me in! I could tell she was desperate to have anything inside her. I gave one last push with my hand before removing it from her pussy. ML growled in frustration and her body shuddered as she struggled to fight off one of her famous spontaneous cums.

I totally respect My Lady for trying this out and seeing what she is capable of. I know for a fact that she will never be able to last as long as I do without an orgasm; she just loves cumming too much! That’s a good thing, too, because I love making her cum. To be honest, I don’t know if she is going to make it to her goal of getting to the weekend without any cumming or penetration, but the fact that she is giving it a try is impressive enough for me.

Out of Town, Not Out of Chastity

Posted by Michele on December 29, 2013
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

This past weekend we went out of town to visit family and celebrate Christmas. Cagedmonkey was locked back up on Thursday and stayed that way all through the weekend. Even with a ton of kids running around and even playing outside with them hubby had no issues with his JailBird. He was perfectly comfortable and it was like it wasn’t even there, until I got him turned on, then he knew it was there. 🙂 It was difficult being around so much family for 2 days and dying to jump each other. We did steal every moment we could for a kiss or to cop a feel.

Saturday night, after the kids got to sleep, us adults stayed up for some drinks and board games. We had an amazing amount of fun. The kids have always been too young before to do that kind of thing so I’m loving that they are getting older and we can start doing more of this stuff! It felt great to sit with adults, talking and laughing our asses off! 🙂

The whole weekend I kept waiting for someone to ask about the key hanging around my neck. I was fully prepared to say, “oh that’s the key to cagedmonkey’s chastity belt” lol though I’d say it while laughing so it seemed as though I was just joking but if never tell the real answer haha. It would have been fun!

After everyone else went to bed cagedmonkey and I stayed up a bit, had a couple more drinks and got a little frisky. We talked a lot and had some pretty intense conversations that I’m sure I don’t remember all of because of the alcohol. I do remember talking about having a “Power Switch,” as we call them. For us, a Power Switch is literally switching the D/s roll. It takes an immense amount of trust for me to do something like that because I’m naturally dominant and pretty much don’t have a submissive bone in me. Every now and then it is exciting to give up control and feel what it’s like to be forced to do something you “love to hate” doing.

Anyway, overall it was a fun weekend away and we’re back home tonight. All of us are happy to be back home to relax and enjoy some peace and quite. Well, the peace and quite of only our kids talking & fighting with each other, not 6 kids! 🙂