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Cagedformymistress asked the following question on Twitter in response to my last post:

How are you even managing to have your cock in her pussy and not cum?

I get asked this a lot, actually. For starters, it’s not easy. Just this morning, ML and I had some “sneak away” sex while the kids were doing their regular morning breakfast/Youtube routine, and her pussy felt soooooo damn good. We haven’t had PIV sex for a couple of days, and she’s usually super tight under those circumstances. Plus, she wanted it from behind – her ass up against my hips, her pussy squeezing my cock nice and tight… damn I wanted to cum so badly.

But yeah, I had to stop. Because it’s still at least another 6 months before I get to cum….

Oh yeah, right! The question of how I don’t cum during sex…. sorry, got a little off track there.

The first thing to know is that I have experience with knowing how far I can push myself before losing it. Even before starting this blog, ML and I had fun with some low-key orgasm denial (she’s always been a cock tease, tbh). Because of this, I know when I need to slow down thrusting (or, in some cases, stop entirely) to avoid cumming. ML knows my tone of voice in these situations, can sense when it’s a true emergency, and allows me to take my time… although, sometimes she forces me to go a little longer and then pull out if she wants me to ruin my orgasm with her pussy (that’s a new favorite torture of hers).

The other thing to consider is that I usually can’t spend a lot of time with my cock as actually inside her pussy – if I did, there would be no chance of avoiding an accident. I almost always need to stop fucking her after a minute or less of actual sex. The short gifs you see on the blog aren’t just a small clip of us fucking, it’s pretty much all I can handle.

So, now you know the secret – I’m able to avoid cumming because I know when to stop, and I know not to push my luck for too long. I’m lucky that ML doesn’t mind that I can only give her sex for a couple of minutes maximum. She actually enjoys the fact that her pussy feels so good that it would make me cum in 20 seconds if I didn’t stop. Besides, if she didn’t want it this way, she wouldn’t keep me in this hyper-horny teased and denied state.

Someone asked me an interesting question recently:

How can you be sure that Lady M will ever let you cum again?

Well, honestly, I can’t be sure.

Part of me is pretty sure that she does want to give me orgasms, infrequently as they may be. In the past, she has expressed that she doesn’t want to deprive me of orgasms permanently; she actually does like to give me that pleasure.

That was in the past, though, and things have changed since we first started our orgasm denial play.

I used to need a “maybe day” from My Lady because of this very train of thought – I wasn’t ready to give up total control of my orgasms just yet. The chastity, teasing, and orgasm denial were great fun, but it was still difficult to not have a target date in mind. I gave up the idea of having a maybe day a few years ago, and I don’t regret the decision one bit. However, I do realize exactly what it means to give full control of my orgasms over to ML.

I can hope she hasn’t changed her mind about things, but the bottom line is that if ML decides to never allows me to have another orgasm again then that is what will happen. She will let me cum when it pleases her, and if it pleases her more to keep me in a state of perpetual constant horniness and desperation for an orgasm for the rest of my life, that is what she will do. It’s not what I’m hoping for, but it’s exactly what I asked for.

We got an email the other day and I’ve been going over and over it in my head and chatting with cagedmonkey about how to respond… Honestly, I don’t know! So I wanted to post it here and give all of our amazing readers a chance to share their opinions and offer their advice. I know this subject often comes up on the Chastity Forums and there are many different stories told and suggestions offered. Please take a moment and comment if you have something to add. 🙂

Frank wrote and asked:

I have been reading your blog for about a year and have really enjoyed it. I’m a fifty something who wishes he’d learned about chastity 30 years ago. Survivor of prostate cancer who had a radical prostectomy and now can not get an erection. Sex life is almost non-existent. Married for 37 years but wife not into BDSM. She is very vanilla. Might get her to tie me up once a year. Any suggestions?

Thanks, Frank, for being a loyal reader! I appreciate your email and I wanted to respond here. This is a pretty common subject. Since I really do not have any magic words or advice as to how to get someone’s partner into BDSM or chastity… I will just tell you that the things that helped me the most were honesty, communication (the why is big for me), non-judgemental listening and most of all… Time!

For me I freaked out at first – which I know there is a post around here about it somewhere – but after months of my own reading and research and lots of communication, without feeling pressured, I was able to see that the chastity part of it all had nothing to do with hubby not wanting me or not wanting sex with me but everything to do with control and tons more sex and sexual energy between us!

So there is my “advice” if you want to call it that. I do hope that some of our readers will share their story about how they got started or brought up the subject with their partners.

I wish you luck and encourage you to continue to be open and honest with your wife.