I just took this quiz called “What type of Mistress are you?” First of all I’m not a mistress at all. I am also not a Goddess, Princess or whatever other titles people may go by. I’m a dominant woman and I think there is a difference there. Before I go on with my post here are my results:

Congratulations, you are a very Sensual & Sexual Mistress.
You will use your submissive for your own enjoyment. If your submissive enjoys himself, that is OK, but you will use his body for your own pleasure. You pleasure comes first. You are not out to cause undue pain in your submissive but you realize that some is required for him to stay in line.
You enjoy being in control and you enjoy the pleasure you can take from your submissive. His body is for your use first and foremost.You have a healthy attituded toward sex. You enjoy men, but when you are in control, you will enjoy yourself first and then let him enjoy himself. You would not be a Mistress if your submissive did not also enjoy it. You are a Mistress because both of you enjoy the feelings of letting go and exploring each other.

So, let me start off by telling you I changed the wording in there to read “submissive” because I, in no way, have a slave for a subby hubby, which it suggested. With that said, most of that is pretty accurate about yours truly. I very much use my hubby to satisfy me first and then maybe, just maybe, he gets some, though that’s few and far between these days. I would say I actually do enjoy inflicting some pain because of the reaction it causes. I would also strongly argue that I would, in fact, be a “mistress” or Dominant woman because that’s just who I am. I may not be to the extent that I am if he didn’t enjoy it but that’s why we’re together. We are each other’s perfect compliment.

If you read the earlier posts here you’ll know that way back 15 years ago we had a Tease & Denial Yahoo group. Our little group had over 600 members and each and every one of them called me Ms. Aggressive. Even back then I knew I was not a mistress. Looking back I realize, 15yrs so, I was a very involved and very attentive Dom. We had chats, emails, tasks, pics, video and even audio. Not nearly as easy as we do now with smartphones and cameras at the touch of a finger, but we had it. I will say, I was much younger and inexperienced and didn’t have loads of information available in an instant like we do now. Being so young and naive cagedmonkey and I didn’t have a sense of priority or realize a contract between us may have been a good thing. As I mentioned I was very attentive and involved which meant a lot of time was consumed teasing other men and denying them when in reality the focus should have been on my monkey boy. Eventually we’d gotten married, moved, started fertility treatments to have kids and away went the Yahoo group.

What is my point in all that? I guess my point is that I’ve always been a very involved, attentive and playful Dom. I’m still that way now with my hubby and any other subby boys I may take on. I get to know them deep down, I create personalized goals and tasks for them, I keep track of them individually and build a meaningful relationship with them. It is not the same relationship I have with my husband but it definitely has depth and meaning, support and caring, rewards and punishments similar to my marriage. I do genuinely begin to care for them and what goes on in their lives.

There are some Doms or mistresses that require money for such services – probably a lot for something similar to the attention I give – but that isn’t what I do. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it, by any means, it’s just not what I do. I like to be the dominant, attentive, involved, cocktease that I am for them. If I receive something for it, gift cards or homemade gifts or anything, I want it to be because I’m awesome at what I do. I want it to be because they appreciate me and not because I require it. I want them to want to show me they care about me, appreciate me and are devoted to me. It pleases me ever so much.

I think it’s important that a submissive know what they need as a submissive. It’s important that a Dom know what they need. I always say how communication it’s important because, IT IS! If you are looking for a generic D/s or M/s relationship where you get the same tasks and goals as any other person who buys them, awesome, that’s easy. If you are looking for an actual relationship, you can’t just sign into Fetlife and meet someone who calls themselves a mistress and expect them to know how to handle you.

The few boys I currently dominate, besides my number one subby hubby, I’ve gotten to know. A couple are in chastity and I hold their keys, those boys are also long distance subs so our interaction is limited to online, email, text messages, etc. All of my boys are required to follow my rules, complete my tasks and accept and complete my punishments. I get to know my boys and I take the time to make their experience very personal. I give them time with me, I support them and encourage them to become better men for their wives or partners or future ones. I strive to keep them healthy and functioning at their best in all they do. I will say that I have some very good subs and, most of the time, they keep me very pleased. I do hope that I do the same for them. I’m actually, publicly going to require that my boys take a minute to reply to this post and write a “review” or testimonial of sorts. I want you boys to really think about what it is I do for you and how it makes you feel. If you’d rather do it anonymously let me know and I’ll post it.

I do have a certain someone who’s a different case, not in chastity and who is local. That’s an entirely different dynamic altogether. Hubby and I pretty much Dom him together, though I am dominant to them all. I love it, it boosts my self esteem knowing how I help them, support them and give them that piece in their lives they may feel is missing.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m the Domme that I am, I’m blessed with a hubby who understands and supports me having these boys. It’s work, but I always prioritize my family and my number one locked up subby boy but I love every minute of it. Thank you to hubby and all my boys for fulfilling me and keeping me pleased like the good boys you are.