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I have this whole PTSD thing around the holidays and my birthday. In the past things always seem to happen on the holidays or surrounding them, whatever. Not good, happy things but icky usually bad things. Stuff like being in the emergency room on morphine with a kidney stone, people dying to feeling like the entire world forgot I was born.

Over the past almost two years since hubby and I made the decision to repair and renew our marriage, one of the things we’ve been working on is the PTSD from these holidays. I have to say that my anxiety around Valentine’s day and our Anniversary is now much less but my birthday is still a touchy spot, apparently! I didn’t realize it was until the days got closer and then… my worst nightmare! Our 15yo cat, that we’ve had since she was 3 weeks old, got deathly ill. She stopped eating, dropped a ton of weight (for a cat) and got very dehydrated. I kinda started freaking out thinking any minute was the end.

Finally on Saturday we took her to the vet, got some xrays to look for tumors because her respiratory rate was off, bloodwork, etc. Vet gave her fluids, a steroid to hopefully increase appetite and told us to wait for the results… until Tuesday. Ugh! I have to wait to find out if my cat is dying until Tuesday? My birthday, of all days? I was devastated and so was cagedmonkey. This cat is more his baby than anybody’s. He found her half dead behind a dumpster, she just clung to him and he knew he had to save her. Way back then we were told she’d be dead soon and not to get attached… here we are 15 years later!

Anyway, my point for this post is to say how my day turned out to be. Yesterday morning my amazing hubby brought me home some gorgeous bold colored flowers, he knows me so well!
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He even made my heart melt by attempting to make me a “rainbow” cake, with the kids. It was so, oh my goodness, sweet of him and really just gave me this feeling inside I’m not sure I’ve felt in awhile. It was so wonderful to have someone go to such lengths to do something for me. It doesn’t matter that the cake went weird… It was simply the most loving generous thought.

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Still tasted yummy!


The one thing that got me like no other was hubby’s card. I laughed so hard at his homemade card (as I usually do!) that I started coughing so hard and choking. Haha it was now his best card, to date, and my absolute favorite.
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Front


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Middle


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2nd middle

I just adore my husband’s sense of humor. Though I also love his romantic sentimental side. Inside of this card my hubby wrote me a list for my 39th birthday. It was a list of 39 of the reasons that he loves me and every one of them nuzzled it’s way in my heart to help comfort the PTSD that comes from my birthday.

Not to mention the gift we got when the Vet called to say that, although there were a couple tumors on our cats lung, that she felt they were of little concern. The xray showed that some how our little old lady cat had broken a couple of ribs. We are being cautiously optimistic, treating her ribs with pain meds and giving her some antibiotics (she had a slightly elevated white cell count) and going to pray this was the reason she stopped eating.

So like I said, this birthday turned out to be so much more than I ever could have expected. So happy for my family and so happy for the news from the vet. So, thank you cagedmonkey, for making my day great, I’m lucky to have you! 🙂

A few weeks ago I order a surprise piece of equipment for cagedmonkey and I. Something we have been looking at for a long time and fantasizing about as well. He had no idea I ordered it until he saw the delivery address on the box the day it came. I order the “Bitch Tamer Package” from the Ken’s Twisted Mind website. The package comes with the Sneaky Pete fucking machine and the custom doggy style bondage stockade. We opted for the waist bar with the pad just in case I felt so inclined as to leave cagedmonkey looked in it for extended periods. We also got the leather wrist and ankle cuffs as well because none of the cuffs we currently have are of that type of quality. If we are going to do it, we might as well do it right!

The stockade itself comes apart and can be pretty easily stored in a duffle bag or under a bed. It can be assembled quite quickly in my opinion as well. The quality of the product is outstanding and very well made. The steel frame is done in black and is very sleek. It is not overly heavy but very sturdy during use, no wobbly parts, even though it is in many pieces before putting it together. Hubby was able to wiggle it over on the carpet but it wasn’t easy and there is no way for him to get out of it.
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It’s got many parts that are adjustable. The height of the steel locking collar, height of the waist pad, width of the restraint bars and the overall length of the stockade itself.
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We had no issues setting up the stockade. The pieces all fit together perfectly and there was nothing missing. We did have one issue with one of the vertical bars being welded just off enough to cause a “lean” but I simply emailed Ken, sent a pic to show him and he’s mailing me out a new piece.
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The other change we decided to make was to the ability to adjust the length of the overall stockade. The stockade comes with two cross bars for the ankles and wrists to attach to. The one bar is a through bar, so you can adjust where it sits on the middle one but the other had a closed end which you can see in the pic above near the steel collar bar. We contacted Ken and asked him to make us a second cross bar that goes through so that we can adjust where both the ankle and wrist bars are on the middle frame. We think it’s going to be better to have that one more adjustment if I ever got locked in the stockade… I’m a bit shorter than cagedmonkey! 🙂

I really cannot say enough good stuff about this equipment. It’s really well made and shipping was within a week, so total it was about a week to make and deliver from the time I ordered. Customer service, so far, has been pretty outstanding. I get a response fairly quickly when I email. I haven’t had to call but that option is there too. I love that this is a small business in the US and that means we are supporting people out there trying to make it and we get really fast, cheaper shipping with it being in the US.

Cagedmonkey fits rather well in the stockade but with his elbow issues we are unable to use it for extended periods just yet.
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If you can see, he’s reaching just forward with his arms, which is why we wanted the adjustable cross bar. We want to be able to bring his arms back just slightly so it’s a bit more comfortable. That way I can leave him locked up like that for longer periods and have time cause the discomfort rather than the stretching forward.
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It really is a sexy piece of equipment and we can’t wait to put it to full use fulfilling the many fantasies we’ve both had about using it. Due to hubby’s pending elbow surgery we can’t get him locked in there and try out the attachable fucking machine yet.
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However, that doesn’t mean I can’t just use the fucking machine to tease and torment him without using the stockade. I did get the Fleshlight and the attachment to go with the machine. It also comes with a Vac-u-lock attachment for use with any Vac-u-lock dildo. You can get a lot of different accessories with this machine for various things and they are all pretty reasonably priced at the Ken’s site.

Looking forward to the many uses this machine and stockade have and the many hours of fun in our future.

I hate those times when I feel disconnected from cagedmonkey. This past week or so of him being sick is apparently getting to me. I had to stop yesterday and sit down and talk to him because I could feel myself overanalyzing, worrying and wondering. Not about anything in particular, because I don’t truly have any weird signs but just overall about the lack of connection. So rather than do the normal “woman” thing when I started to feel that, I went right to cagedmonkey to tell him these, in a way, irrational feelings I was having.

What I normally would do is just hold it in, push the feelings aside and not really acknowledge or deal with them. I learned the hard way that doing those things is nothing more than the perfect way for me to spiral emotionally out of control and to start fabricating a million different reasons as to why he doesn’t love me. Rationally, I know this is ridiculous but emotionally and hormonally, I’m a woman. We are built this way.

Anyway I sat down yesterday morning with cagedmonkey and told him I was feeling disconnected. We talked about why I might be feeling that and without the physical love between us, I think a little ptsd was kicking in. I am so busy and getting worn from taking care of him while he’s been sick, the kids, the house and realized that no one is taking care of me. I started to miss the feeling of being wanted, cared for, desired physically. Not that I need him to do things for me, but I do like that he wants to. With him being sick those “I’m going to do this for her because it’s helpful and she will know I’m thinking of her and focused on her” things don’t happen. Those “hey honey I set up your coffee maker to brew for the morning so you don’t have to” little things that make me feel like he wants to see me smile and swoon aren’t there. Anyway, without those things I started to get those “I’ll just have do it all myself” feelings again and I knew those were not ok feelings, he’s sick and I don’t have to do it all myself. Those things will be back, his dick is still locked in a cage for me and when I can get back to teasing him properly everyday and using him for my pleasure everything will be back to normal.

The good thing about communicating is that simply telling him and acknowledging that I was feeling that way made a huge difference for me in my emotional state. Communicating also brings him into my head and he is then able to give what he can to help me not feel the way I do. If he never knows what silly irrational thoughts I’m having, how can he show me or tell me they are silly irrational thoughts? I rob him of the opportunity to adjust his behavior and to support me. It’s as if I am going to battle, alone, in my own head. It’s better to have someone there fighting with you and for you.

My love, my protector, the guardian of my heart and soul… my knight in literal shining armor 🙂

Wait a minute… since when am I the one who’s feeling denied of all things naughty, hot and sexy?!?!? Haha that’s exactly how I’m feeling today! Since cagedmonkey has been sick there hasn’t been any playtime and I’ve been so tired from taking care of the house, kids and running to and from everywhere that I haven’t even masturbated. If you know me at all, you know this is unheard of! I’m the Lady who cums sometimes 15 times in a day, not none in a week. Ugh, needles to say this accidental denial is totally catching up with me and there is nothing I can do about it. Not for a couple days anyway.

I started my period yesterday. Yes, I know full well some of you out there (me included) say “so what!?” get off anyway, but the first couple days of my period are always so heavy, messy and painful. I don’t care what you’re into but in not into blood play, even from mother nature. In a couple days when things get lighter, I’m more than happy to flaunt my cumming abilities to all the locked up horny subby boys. For now, I’m denied, argh!

For some crazy reason, today, I’m awfully horny. Maybe it’s the conversations I’ve had the past couple days with some cute girls or potential subby boys, maybe it’s the built up arousal from taking such amazing care of my sexy subby hubby, maybe it’s just me! Who knows but I cannot get it out of my head. I’ve had the desire to dominate the hell out of my hubby, to force him to please my pussy for a solid hour, maybe longer. To just enjoy myself all over his face with no regard to his pleasure whatsoever. Sigh, it’s just too bad I can’t right now (or won’t for those out there that need that wording).

However, what I can do is slap the hood on my love, pop him in the bondage sack and tease his cock and balls until he is a whimpering, begging, whining mess who can do absolutely nothing but take whatever I give. I’m pretty sure he’s feeling well enough that I can safely tease him without him having a coughing fit. If he does, well, I’ll have to adjust. All I know is that in feeling rather aggressive and I want to tease him so bad, for so long that he seriously is begging me to stop and he means even single breath of it.

Oh, and, and and and! Today I went in the bedroom and mmmm I saw his ass and just had this overwhelming horny thought of bending him over the side of the bed and giving him a good pegging. I might have to have a little fun with his ass tonight too. He is off work again tonight so I might as well take advantage of the time we have together and do all the things I want to do to him. We’ll see though, just how tired I am later. 🙂

Oh and wine… damn it, I want some wine. Who’s going to go pick me up some Red Cat?

It seems following my directions and doing everything I say is much easier when cagedmonkey is sick. He trusts me so much to take care of him when he’s sick that he doesn’t even flinch when I direct him to take meds, lay down, drink water, use these oils, etc. It’s not that he doesn’t trust me other times but I think there is just something about him being sick. He’s also super cute and I absolutely love mothering him and taking care of my sick boy.

There hasn’t been any play time and he’s missed a couple days of work now this week because this upper respiratory thing has pretty much kicked his bum. He’s literally been sleeping since 7am… over 13 hours and he will likely sleep till morning. This is how he works though, I make him sleep through the worst of it and he should be a ton better tomorrow. No he won’t be his best but it always seems a large chunk of sleep helps him loads. I hardly sleep so I think illness tends to hang around for me but I’m happy that I can give him the time and run the house so he can get the rest his body needs.

I do look forward to him feeling better so we can enjoy some playtime. Hopefully he’s feeling much better over the next couple nights since that’s his nights off this week. I’d love to get him locked in the new stockade and tease the hell out of him.

Unless you’ve been following on Twitter you may not know but we got some new equipment delivered the other day. Haven’t been able to put it together, let alone use it with the kids around and now cagedmonkey being sick. I do hope we can at least get it put together this week for some pics! I’ve fantasized about a hundred ways this thing can be used on hubby, in front of him, on a subby girl if I were to find me one… oh the possibilities are amazing!

Anyway, I’m kinda horny tonight but I don’t think I’ll really do anything about it. I don’t feel much life masturbating. I did take a yummy boobie pic for the Twitter crowd, I suppose you all deserve to see them too. Enjoy!
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Oh and I was teasing CM at work last night and sent him these, too.
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Been a busy day today and still another busy day tomorrow. Our oldest child has a Baton and Gymnastics show tomorrow. I’m so excited to see her perform, I think she’s really amazing!

As I said the other day I got cagedmonkey locked back up in the Steelworxx Revenge.
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While in the Revenge I decided he would have to be maintained. He was going to need to be let out for shaving and cleaning because, I don’t know about others, but those fully enclosed devices get so stinky. I also figured while he would be locked in the nearly enclosed device we would do a “No look, No touch” thing. So tonight I decided to schedule in some maintenance for my darling boy.

After the kids went to bed I had him get everything I needed to give him a shave, including the hood and cuffs. I got him situated on the floor in the living room and cuffed him to the table leg. I removed his cage and base ring and took care of getting him shaved.
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While shaving him he had gotten a huge boner so I decided to take advantage of it and give him a fantastic teasing. My hand was already pretty lubed up with water and shave lotion so I just began to slide it up and down his entire pelvic area. I rubbed his hard cock and his balls in one sweep. I then started stroking him, fast, edging him and he quickly was bucking his hips and moaning. I used one of my favorite techniques, where I tease the head of his cock and oversensitize him and he just started whimpering and moaning and writhing around. It turns me on so much seeing him that way. Putty in my hands while I stroke, tease and torture his cock.

Now, cagedmonkey has no clue at all that I took this short video during the teasing and this is the first he is seeing it, right along with all of you. Since he is doing no look, no touch, he will only see the same pictures and videos I show on here and all of you will see before he even gets to! Hehe so much fun, so much torment!


After he was sufficiently teased I waiting until he was soft enough and put his cage back on him. Then I sent him off to take shower and clean the rest of his sexy body.

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Sometimes it amazes me that his big cock even fits in there. Granted he wasn’t fully soft in these pics but it’s not much different. I did manage to squeeze him back in there myself without stabbing him with my fingernail or pinching him with the posts! 🙂

Hope you enjoy the video!

Over the past few days I have been teasing and teasing cagedmonkey and not really giving him much of a break at all. Once he’s this horny I do love to continuously drive him completely bonkers. He’s so hair trigger horny that he gets instantly hard if he’s not in his cage and he easily gets “rooty” if he is in it.

Since he’s been off work the past couple days, and I’m due to start my period, I decided to have him unlocked so I can tease and use him at any moment without having to remove his Jail Bird. His teasing has been everything from being forced to please me with his hands and mouth, to being forced to watch me please myself, my stroking him to the edge over and over and/or ruining an attempted orgasm and even me riding him or having him please me with his cock.
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It’s been quite a couple of frustrating days for him, I’m sure. Pushing him more and more each day has gotten me thinking. I want to drive him deeper and deeper into his submission and push his level of horniness. I mean, I am making him go 6 months without an orgasm but he’s still getting the satisfaction of feeling my pussy, my mouth or my hand. I started to wonder today how deep he’d go if he couldn’t see or touch his own cock for a few weeks of this denial period.

So my plan is to give him a good dose of “No look, No touch” in the Revenge for a couple weeks. Now when it comes to the Revenge I don’t like the whole hygiene part of leaving him locked 24/7 so I will be working maintenance into his wear. The maintenance will consist of me removing the tube portion of the cage to clean him, however, cagedmonkey will be cuffed and blindfolded during it.
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It should be an interesting couple of weeks, seeing just how ridiculously achy and horny I can get him. I figure while he is locked up for the next couple weeks in the Revenge and I won’t have use of his cock, I’ll be using “Adam” quite a bit on myself and using my new strapon, that I love, on him often. Sure hope his ass is ready to be used more than it ever has.

I’m looking forward to the moaning, whimpering and begging to come in the next week or so.

Today is the day! Mistress Marie and her Slave David will be here this afternoon. Cagedmonkey and I will be spending the evening enjoying dinner and some fantastic company. We are both so excited about growing this real life friendship!

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Looking forward to all the possibilities that the evening brings. We have the opportunity to be who we are, talk about everything in all aspects of our lives and do whatever is comfortable and natural. I’m making sure cagedmonkey is clean and shaved later this afternoon and I would like him to get my pussy looking smooth and sexy. Who knows what might happen and it’s always good to be prepared in case things get naughty, kinky and sexual.

Can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Yesterday I spent yet another day teasing and frustrating cagedmonkey. This time I did not allow him out of his cage and I didn’t interrupt his sleep too terribly much. I went in, teased him a bit, mindfucked him a bit with some suggestive whispering in his ear and then went about my errands for the day.

Later in the afternoon I was exhausted because the day was going so rough so once I woke hubby he offered to let me go lay down and cook dinner for us. How sweet he is to give me some time to refill when my parenting tanks are tapped.

Once I got all snuggled in bed for a nap I figured an orgasm would be just what I needed to get some rest. I just so happened to mention that as he was walking out the door from tucking me in. I took the opportunity of being alone in the bedroom and cagedmonkey stuck out in the living room with the kids to tease him like mad and create and even more frustrated situation for him.

I started using my wand, vibrating my clit and thought how amazing it would be if he got a picture play-by-pay I’d what I was doing to myself in there while getting off. I sent him picture after picture of what I was doing and I could feel the frustration in the responses.

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As my pussy was being vibrating, I could feel the warm wet juices begin to flow. I felt my entire crotch quivering right inside of me. I felt this feeling of wanting to be filled up and feel that big think cock sliding in and out of me.

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I started to fuck myself with “Adam” my very realistic feeling favorite dildo. He responded with, “omfg, no way!” Mainly because I’ve only used “Adam”on my self once or twice before and he never has seen it. He was texting me back frantically begging to come watch me while I came but I just kept sending things. I even made him a video to drive it in deep.

Click here to watch the video
(sorry not the best quality – still working out adding video to the site – bear with us!!)

I think it made it worse as I kept escalating what I was doing to please myself. It was so hard to see step by step how I was getting myself off and he was stuck dealing with the kids. Once I fucked my pussy good with “Adam” I just needed a really big cum while I was stuffed full of that thick dildo. So I added the wand and pushed myself over into a full body-tightening orgasm. I only wish I could have screamed out!

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Just after this picture I received a text from him to which I simply text him back:
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He came in the bedroom, I let him pull Adam from my pussy and lick the entire thing clean of my girlie goo. He then washed it and put it away in our bin. I did also demand he clean up the mess between my legs and I allowed him to make me cum one last time.

“Thank you, now go so I can sleep please,” was all I said as I rolled over and closed my eyes. I heard him sigh in complete frustration as he was walking out of the bedroom door.

Yesterday, when cagedmonkey got home from work, I had him take off his cage before bed. He’s so sensitive after about 7 weeks of denial and even the blankets were teasing him. I had him sleep without his Jail Bird so I could have access to him at any time. I certainly took advantage of that while he was trying to sleep. I did make it quite difficult for him.

Every so often I would go visit him in the bedroom and he’d get woken up by me stroking his cock. He sleeps with a sleep mask on because it’s too bright in our room so it’s a bonus he’s basically blindfolded. I would stroke him nice and hard and then walk out. One time I stroked him to just before the edge, I gave him a hard squeeze around his shaft and licked him right across his lips. I didn’t say a word and just walked out. I could hear him moaning and cursing as I was leaving.

I did that a few more times through the day and when it was time to wake up, I got completely naked and woke him up by climbing on the bed and straddling him. I pressed my naked body against his, our warm skin touching on every possible part. I felt his cock hardening beneath me. I smiled at him an awfully devious smirk and said “ooo little man is ready to wake up.” Cagedmonkey was no where near awake so he could only sputter out moans and groans as I slowly slid my nipples up and down his chest.

I lifted my hips and slid him inside me, filling me up so full. I just love the feeling of his big cock filling my pussy, stretching it so perfectly. It’s a feeling I can not get enough of sometimes. I used him like a ride-on sex toy, sliding myself up and down his shaft getting his cock all sloppy and creamy. When I was finished with him, I climbed off of him, grabbed my clothes and as I started to get dressed I simply said, “time to wake up!”