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Keeping It Real

Posted by Michele on February 17, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , . 3 comments

In the past few days (and since starting or blog) we’ve often gotten wonderful comments about the realness of our blog. It’s comments like these that I love.

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Way back when we started this blog we said it would always be real (unless we’re writing about fantasies!). We wanted to document our journey as a married couple with young children. We promised to never embellish and always share the truth. I just love that people see that and appreciate it! It really just makes me smile so big! 🙂

Thank you for taking the time to read our journey, the good and the bad. We love sharing this with you!

The Not-So-Full Submission

Posted by Michele on February 16, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

I’m sure everyone knows what it’s like to have a bad day at work. Where it seems like everything is going wrong and whatever decision you make is the wrong decision. Well that’s exactly what happened Friday night while hubby was at work. It was a particularly stressful night with dude’s bleeding out in the operating room and being short staffed and people getting pissy and taking out their frustrations on each other. At about 4am Friday night (Saturday morning) I was woken up by about 16 text messages from hubby needing to talk. I spent about an hour and a half texting back and forth letting him get out his feelings and frustrations in a healthy, safe way. I validated him and it seemed to help get him through the last couple of hours.

I knew exactly how he was feeling and that he was going through one of those “I’m not good enough, I can’t do anything right, why bother,” type of things which I’m all too familiar with. This started to make me very worried about our full submission weekend that was supposed to be beginning when he arrived home at 7:30am. I started wondering if we should give up on the whole idea because I had this fear of triggering him into a downward spiral. I was fearful that if I corrected him or was unhappy with his behavior, and wanted to spank or punish him, that he would take it very badly and spin off into a deeper self confidence low.

Saturday morning, he got home and I pretty much sent him right off to bed. Once I woke him in the afternoon we had a few hours with the kids before we could really get into our full submission. However, we did do as much as we could in front of the kids. He would ask to do things quietly or give me a certain look and I knew what he was “saying.” It was coded simple stuff in front of the kids like:

Him: Do you need me to do anything before I go to the bathroom.
Me: Actually, I’d like you to take that load of laundry down and switch them, then you may.
Him: yes ma’am

Little stuff like that the kids hardly notice especially when we don’t make a big deal out of it.

Later in the evening when the kids were off to bed, the submission was much more intense. I absolutely loved hearing him whimper when I would kiss him but not allow him to touch me or kiss me back for a bit. At one point I remember grabbing him by the steel collar and pulling him to his knees in front of me where I was sitting on the couch. I demanded he eat my pussy and make me cum. There were times, too, where I would use his hands on myself while reminding him he wasn’t allowed to touch or help me in any way. He begged to kiss me while I moved his hand and covered his fingers with my juices. I whispered, “no” and kissed him, shoving my tongue deep in his mouth. As I started to cum on his fingers, I told him “kiss me, now!”

It ended up being quite hot and very frustrating for him as I controlled him the entire night and reminded him over and over, “I don’t remember you asking to do that.” It was a very nice night and I loved going to bed with him wearing only his steel collar and Jail Bird. We did wake up before the kids and I decided to take off the collar so we didn’t have to explain it to them. We thought about just telling them it was a necklace but our kids would have bugged out all day, obsessing.

Sunday morning we got up, I laid out the clothes hubby was to wear to church and we started our day. I though about what a great night we had a thought we had gotten passed the whole emotional night from Friday but that ended up not being the case. Sunday was a very rough day and the self confidence spiral began in the morning and lasted all day long. It effected me to the point of visible anger. I quit talking to cagedmonkey for a time because I was afraid I didn’t have anything nice to say.

Later last night he did apologize for his behavior but there really was no full submission at all on Sunday because he was a bit sensitive to things. It was much easier to leave it be. We did have a very nice night together last night once the kids went to bed. I unlocked his cage and let him have control of his dick for a little while. I think that helped him a bit. Once it got late I took him to the bedroom and had my way with him, using his body, cumming as much as I wanted while he continues to be denied.

A Day For the Lovers and All You Other Kinky Fuckers

Posted by Michele on February 14, 2015
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , . 2 comments

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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My kind of Valentine's Day!

I hope you lovely people get up to some fantastic fucking on this fine day for lovers!

Our day has just started since that’s how it is when your husband works midnights and sleeps during the day. I can’t report any kinky happenings here with our “total submission” day yet since it hasn’t really been much. I’m hoping it goes well and we will have some fun things to tell you about how I controlled and dominated every part of cagedmonkey’s weekend. I should have run by the store while I was out and picked up some wine for me… maybe it would help kick this cold. 🙂 oh well, I’ll have to be sober and naughty!

We do hope our wonderful readers get up to some naughty stuff and enjoy every bit of it. Even if you didn’t, we would love to hear about your day. So please feel free to share in the comments! 🙂

What a Nice Little Surprise – It’s the Little Things

Posted by Michele on February 13, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 8 comments

Pretty much every night, I pack up dinner for cagedmonkey to take to work. A few nights out of the week I will sneak in little love notes for him to find while at work. Most times they are in his lunch, sometimes I can sneak one in his work bag or coat pocket. I do love hearing that he found them and that he loves knowing that I’m thinking about him during the night. It really does come down to the little things in a relationship. Those sweet little surprises to let your love know you are thinking of them and love them.

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It doesn’t take a lot of money or actual gifts, though those are nice too. Just a simple note hidden where they’ll find it or even that phone call or text everyday at the same time to ask if they need anything. The fact that you thought of your love is such a huge little thing. 🙂

Like I said, I usually leave these little notes and I know cagedmonkey enjoys them. Well it just so happened that I had on a pair of panties yesterday that hubby just loved and couldn’t stop touching or talking about. He loved them so much that he asked if he could make me cum a couple times, right in the panties, before work instead of the usual panties off pussy eating. Of course I said yes, I do like to please my subby hubby and this was such a sweet thing he asked for. How could I not say yes to my sweet sexy boy?

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He made me cum 3 times, I do believe, before work so my panties were soaked. Just after he had to rush a bit to get ready to leave so I was helping him. I packed his dinner (slid off my panties in the kitchen) and helped him get his work bag together (and snuck said panties in a pocket I knew he would go into at work) and did our good bye routine. Yes, we do the same thing and say the same thing each night as he leaves and any time he leaves. It’s ritualistic and comforting for both of us.

Later in the night as, he and I were chatting during his break – which it actually closer to 2am – he messaged me how he found the panties. He was in heaven! He said he instantly filled his Jail Bird when he saw them. I just love knowing a simple little thing like my wet yummy cummy panties could give him such enjoyment and turn him on!

Of course I didn’t just leave it at that. I instructed him to smell my panties and rub his hand in the wet gooey crotch so he had to spend the rest of the night continuing to smell my lovely scent.

I really do love everything about being a cocktease.

A Steel Collar For a Handle and a Pleased Wife & Keyholder

Posted by Michele on February 12, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

Life is pretty great these days and things are really falling back into place in the whole “pleasing the wife/keyholder” department. A few days ago my cycle ended and I was all cleaned up and ready to use cagedmonkey for my pleasure. That was a pretty fantastic night too. I realized we didn’t write about that! We spent some quality time with hubby in his new steel locking collar which I’d gotten him for our anniversary but he hadn’t worn until the other night.

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Good Lord is he ever so sexy in that collar. It’s just a beautiful, shiny, sleek outward representation of my ownership of him. I mean I have steel locked on his cock but it’s hidden in his pants most of the time. The steel collar really is just something else all together and it gets me deep in the pit of my stomach. I could barely talk after putting it on him, just looking at him I was overtaken by how damn sexy he was and kept choking on my own words when trying to talk.

At one point he was kneeling in front of me on the couch with his face buried in my pussy. Licking my pussy from bottom to top, slurping up my juices and flicking my clit with his tongue and sucking on it as if he was giving me a little girlie blow job. It felt so fucking good to feel him between my legs like that after what felt like forever. I grabbed the back of his head and pushed him down and hard, shoving his tongue into my horny hole right as I was cumming. “I love fucking your face and cumming right in your mouth,” I told him as my pussy squeezed around his tongue gushing more of my warm wetness into his mouth.

I pushed him back on the floor and straddled his unlocked raging hard cock. It stretched me and hurt just a little, in a good way, because my pussy was so tight from what little use it’s had over the past few weeks. Not to mention just cumming seconds before. I road his cock hard and fast practically pounding him into the floor. I opened my eyes and looked at him, I saw the collar around his neck and took a deep breath. Very fluently I slid my left hand up his chest, over his shoulder and reached around the back of his neck and I could feel the cool steel of the collar. I wrapped my hand around it and could see as it got a lot more snug around his neck. That instantly turned me on as I practically had a handle while riding his cock. I continued riding him, pounding hard down on his cock, slamming it deep in my pussy. I loved seeing him looking at me so helpless as I held him in place by the steel collar on his neck.

By the time I rolled off his cock I’d cum 3 times and had rug burns on my knees. So fucking hot taking him like that. I love feeling his big thick cock filling up my pussy and pleasing me as he is denied his own pleasure. I really do love that I can use him and get off as much as I want while teasing and denying him. I love feeling his devotion for me and my control over him. I love knowing that this is something we do for each other because it’s what we both want and enjoy. He is my good boy. My locked up, teased, denied, obedient, amazing good boy and I love him with everything I am.

A Mid-Summer Nights Dream (or When CagedMonkey Hopes He Can Orgasm Again)

Posted by Michele on February 11, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 11 comments

I’ve been doing a little thinking about how I want our next chastity and orgasm denial period to go. If you have been following along on our journey, the last period of denial lasted just over 100 days. I had denied cagedmonkey from late last year until our anniversary and vow renewal on Jan 18th. It was fun keeping him so horny and frustrated that long. It’s amazing having him like putty in my hands because he’s so incredibly horny and aching to have me allow him orgasm.

I want to make sure that I explain when I say chastity, that just means that we will continue incorporating the chastity device into our everyday life. Cagedmonkey is in his device just about everyday and has been since October 2013. With the exception of our two week vacation last month. Just because he is in a device does not mean he’s automatically denied orgasm. It means I control if and when he will have sexual pleasure and or orgasm.

I also want to make sure that I explain when I say orgasm denial it means I control when cagedmonkey will be allowed to have a pleasurable orgasmic experience with ejaculation. That does not necessarily mean he will be caged 24/7. It does not mean I won’t milk him or give him an ruined orgasms. It simply means I will lock and unlock the cage to use my toy as I see fit. After all, I do recall me being the keyholder & Domme in this relationship and I am in control. 🙂

As I said our last stint of denial lasted over 100 days which was over 3 months. I don’t see any reason why cagedmonkey can’t make it 6 months. His last orgasm was January 31, 2015 and my plan is to tease, torment, use, abuse and deny him until mid summer. I think we figured 6 months was around July 31st so that’s where I’m aiming. I know a lot will happen in that time. I’m sure we will find a way to get some new toys to play with and I hope to work on my rope skills because I would love to get hubby into some fun predicament bondage. I really think his steel collar will come in handy for that.

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Cagedmonkey's locking steel collar


I’m excited to share this next challenge with you since hubby has never gone that long without an orgasm!

Mail Chastity – Wanting to Learn About Male Chastity

Posted by Michele on February 11, 2015
Posted in: Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a Comment

The other day we were contacted by a gentleman very interested in male chastity. He had lots of great questions and I thought I would take some of them and answer them here! I know he has plenty more and perhaps there will be more Mail Chastity soon with those. Feel free to send us any questions you may have about chastity in general or about us personally. We do love sharing with you all.

BatBoy5 asks:

Do you have a preferred device?

Lady M: As a matter of fact, yes I do. My preference for everyday and long term use is our custom Mature Metal Jail Bird device. If I want to change things up short term we have the Steelworxx Revenge which is a more enclosed steel device. This creates a different sensation for cagedmonkey because it takes away his ability to see his penis as well as some of the feeling that he is able to have in the more open Jail Bird.

Plastic, metal, or silicone?

Lady M: At first I never thought I would like steel so we went with a silicone device CB style device. I never did get to plastic because it just seemed like it would be uncomfortable for cagedmonkey. After seeing what happened with the silicone device it just seemed like a plastic device would break at the pressure of his erection. So as I said we got the silicone and it didn’t even kind of fit. lol Hubby was way too big to fit in those types of devices. He was simply too long and too big around, even, flaccid, to squeeze in. So we ultimately went to steel and I’ll never go back, it’s beautiful, sexy, sleek and much better for the way we do chastity.

Do you build up from short term to long term to “permanent”?

Lady M: I think what you’re asking is did we jump right in to wearing the device all day, every day, right? And, that’s not really possible. You have to start slower with a device, check the fit, make sure there are no issues, and your body needs to get used to having something locked on it lol. There is a learning curve and it does take some building up in the beginning. For us, it only took a few days before hubby was wearing it for hours and full days.

Is there any such thing as permanent chastity?

Lady M: Sure there is, with the right device, fitted properly, a guy could wear one permanently and never have sex or orgasm again. 🙂

Do You find that chastity leads to other areas where you assume control of a boy’s life?

Lady M: I don’t think it has to at all. It certainly can and for us, our FLR/WLM (Female led relationship/Wife Led Marriage) is actually what led to chastity in a way. I’m already in control of everything and hubby asked me to be in control of his sexual pleasure as well. It just worked that way for us.

Do You ever use chastity devices that incorporate piercings or urethral inserts?

Lady M: We do not, I’m not into genital piercings on my own boy (they are very sexy on other people!) or urethral inserts (hubby’s anatomy won’t work with those anyway). I do know plenty of others who do use those types of devices and do actually enjoy Sounding. One of my other boys is actually into that and will play with it on his own.

I hope this helps answer your questions, thank you again for writing and asking. I look forward to hearing from anyone who has any questions. If you’d like to ask cagedmonkey anything in particular just let us know!

Praise and Reassurance

Posted by Michele on February 9, 2015
Posted in: Advice, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 1 comment

So I just want to write that just as important as it is for us as women to get feedback that the boys like what we are doing, they need that same feedback from us. They need to know we are proud of them for being locked for us, for enduring our teasing etc. They also need to know if they are pleasing us with their behavior or sexual acts. How will they know to continue something I’d they don’t know ere loving it?

I find that having a submissive husband or even being dominant to a submissive man is just like parenting. I’m not saying our men are childish (though some sure can be at times) I just mean they respond well to techniques parents use with children. It’s just like you would treat a kid when you “catch them doing something good” to reinforce the behavior. So it’s important to say things like “it really pleases me when…” or “you’re doing such a good job with…” or “I really love how you are handling…” and even “Wow! What a great job doing…..” adding to any of those some hint at a reward is huge too. Saying something like “it really pleases me when you take out the garbage without asking… I might have to unlock you and tease you later!” No, you didn’t just lock yourself in and you don’t have to let him out but the thought that you might is motivation. It’s interesting how it works.

Praising and reassuring our submissives builds their confidence and keeps them pleasing us and striving for more of those compliments and possible rewards. It might be all about us Ladies (or dominants) sexually but it is about both of us emotionally. This is why I say communication is so huge. The feedback, both ways, keeps the relationship going.

Have you praised your locked boy today?

Even a Domme Requires Aftercare

Posted by Michele on February 7, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 1 comment

Last night cagedmonkey and I had a little alone, adult time together. I would get into describing it but I’ll leave that to him since it focuses on me dominating him for the most part. It’s probably better that you experience that part from the receiver.

As for me, while I enjoyed last night’s acute intensity very much, I’m experiencing what I would consider one of my most severe episodes of Domme Drop (regarding length). I’ve talked about this before in previous posts and even described it here. It really is no fun. I actually have been doing very well with things and haven’t had too many episodes of drop recently and when I anticipated one I would use my anxiety meds (as decided with the help of a doctor) to combat the effects just prior to them happening. Also, since you know me and I think communication is huge, hubby and I talk about it and he helps greatly during a drop.

I really had no thoughts, with the very short time that we got to spend together, that I would even have any drop. I found out very quickly after cagedmonkey went to work that the drop, no matter how much time is spent during an intense scene, can and will happen.

The part that makes a drop hard for me is the roller coaster feeling. I’ll be fine one minute and the next my eyes well up with tears or I’m feeling anxious. I realized a lot of the feelings last night were questions, worries if you will, about cagedmonkey’s experience. I think the time drop hits me the most is when we have an intense scene and right after that hubby has to go to work. Then he gets home at 7am and it’s breakfast time for the kids and he’s gotta get to bed. There is no time to talk about the events that took place, no time to hear that he liked or disliked something, no “thank you ma’am” for dominating me, for spanking my ass or any of that. We just don’t get that time together to give me the feedback I apparently desperately need.

That’s what it is, I realized, during the scene I’m not getting much feedback because he is enduring what I’m dishing out (spanking, assplay, teasing, breath play etc) and it’s what I need afterwards. I need to know how he feels about what happened. I need to know that it was ok, that he is ok and they I don’t need to feel guilty. When it’s a rush after to get him off to work and we don’t even discuss the scene – like it didn’t happen – I begin to worry. Did he like it? Did it feel good? Was it hot for him? Did he like feeling me take what I wanted from him? Did he like me using his body to do as I please? The questions race through my head causing the ripples of anxiety. The anxiety causes my emotional down. The feelings of sadness, worry and probably even some shame need to be squashed out by the communication and feedback after a scene. It’s like I have said before even a Domme can need “aftercare.”

I wonder, do other Dommes or Tops who experience drop feel that the feedback helps them?

Don’t Want to Waste the Precious Time We Have Together

Posted by Michele on February 6, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

Tonight the kids will be going back to their Friday night activity. It’s a social skills group for kids with Autism (and their siblings) that usually happens once or twice a month. That means hubby and I get about one and a half hours of uninterrupted Date Night. These date nights can range anywhere from a nice night out at a restaurant for dinner to a quick movie at home together and sometimes, like tonight, it can be an intense D/s or tease session depending on how we are feeling. Actually depending on how I’m feeling since, sexually, I control it all. 🙂

I can honestly say I don’t have specific plans for tonight but when hubby asked if he should plan to make dinner I told him no. I said I was in desperate need to dominate him and I needed an intense D/s session. I told him with the very limited amount of time we have I did not want to waste it eating dinner. LoL

I’m already in a very powerful mood this morning. He got home from work and I went in to tuck him into bed. That turned into a half an hour of pretty intense teasing and me getting very aggressive with him. At first I laid with him and was trailing my fingers up and down his naked body. Running them all around his cage but ignoring the locked cock within. I gently dragged my fingers along his stomach and chest, across his nipples and up over his shoulders. I traced all the gorgeous lines of his body and loved hearing him gasp and quietly moan as he got more and more aroused. I could feel the skin get tighter as he swelled in his cage.

I was getting more and more turned on, I could feel my pussy getting wetter and warmer, quivering in my panties. As I was teasing and tickling cagedmonkey, I felt this wonderful surge., a powerful, aggressive feeling came over me. I pinched and pulled his nipples just to hear him moan. I crave hearing his reaction to my touch. I made him moan into my ear, made him whimper and I could feel his breath. It made me extremely horny and I could feel my need to orgasm, simply from his reactions to my touch. It is nothing short of amazing that I feel this with him.

I continued teasing, tickling, pinching and pulling, filling my desire for his reaction. I kept doing it until I pushed myself to the edge of orgasm. Right at the peak I climbed on top of him and rubbed my panty covered pussy on his cock straining in his Jail Bird. I pushed myself over as I humped his body through my orgasm. Fuck, it was fantastic to feel those powerful, “I’ll use you and take what I want from you” feelings again.

As I mentioned, I’m not sure what tonight will bring but I have thought about wearing my new strap on harness. I’ve thought about bending him over and forcing him to be mine. But… who knows, we’ll just have to see what happens tonight! I do know that today, all day, is going to be one hell of a prolonged tease session. I have no plans of letting him get uninterrupted sleep today, he’ll just have to deal with it. 🙂