KeyHolder

What type of Mistress (Dominant) Are You?

Posted by Michele on December 18, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 19 comments

I just took this quiz called “What type of Mistress are you?” First of all I’m not a mistress at all. I am also not a Goddess, Princess or whatever other titles people may go by. I’m a dominant woman and I think there is a difference there. Before I go on with my post here are my results:

Congratulations, you are a very Sensual & Sexual Mistress.
You will use your submissive for your own enjoyment. If your submissive enjoys himself, that is OK, but you will use his body for your own pleasure. You pleasure comes first. You are not out to cause undue pain in your submissive but you realize that some is required for him to stay in line.
You enjoy being in control and you enjoy the pleasure you can take from your submissive. His body is for your use first and foremost.You have a healthy attituded toward sex. You enjoy men, but when you are in control, you will enjoy yourself first and then let him enjoy himself. You would not be a Mistress if your submissive did not also enjoy it. You are a Mistress because both of you enjoy the feelings of letting go and exploring each other.

So, let me start off by telling you I changed the wording in there to read “submissive” because I, in no way, have a slave for a subby hubby, which it suggested. With that said, most of that is pretty accurate about yours truly. I very much use my hubby to satisfy me first and then maybe, just maybe, he gets some, though that’s few and far between these days. I would say I actually do enjoy inflicting some pain because of the reaction it causes. I would also strongly argue that I would, in fact, be a “mistress” or Dominant woman because that’s just who I am. I may not be to the extent that I am if he didn’t enjoy it but that’s why we’re together. We are each other’s perfect compliment.

If you read the earlier posts here you’ll know that way back 15 years ago we had a Tease & Denial Yahoo group. Our little group had over 600 members and each and every one of them called me Ms. Aggressive. Even back then I knew I was not a mistress. Looking back I realize, 15yrs so, I was a very involved and very attentive Dom. We had chats, emails, tasks, pics, video and even audio. Not nearly as easy as we do now with smartphones and cameras at the touch of a finger, but we had it. I will say, I was much younger and inexperienced and didn’t have loads of information available in an instant like we do now. Being so young and naive cagedmonkey and I didn’t have a sense of priority or realize a contract between us may have been a good thing. As I mentioned I was very attentive and involved which meant a lot of time was consumed teasing other men and denying them when in reality the focus should have been on my monkey boy. Eventually we’d gotten married, moved, started fertility treatments to have kids and away went the Yahoo group.

What is my point in all that? I guess my point is that I’ve always been a very involved, attentive and playful Dom. I’m still that way now with my hubby and any other subby boys I may take on. I get to know them deep down, I create personalized goals and tasks for them, I keep track of them individually and build a meaningful relationship with them. It is not the same relationship I have with my husband but it definitely has depth and meaning, support and caring, rewards and punishments similar to my marriage. I do genuinely begin to care for them and what goes on in their lives.

There are some Doms or mistresses that require money for such services – probably a lot for something similar to the attention I give – but that isn’t what I do. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it, by any means, it’s just not what I do. I like to be the dominant, attentive, involved, cocktease that I am for them. If I receive something for it, gift cards or homemade gifts or anything, I want it to be because I’m awesome at what I do. I want it to be because they appreciate me and not because I require it. I want them to want to show me they care about me, appreciate me and are devoted to me. It pleases me ever so much.

I think it’s important that a submissive know what they need as a submissive. It’s important that a Dom know what they need. I always say how communication it’s important because, IT IS! If you are looking for a generic D/s or M/s relationship where you get the same tasks and goals as any other person who buys them, awesome, that’s easy. If you are looking for an actual relationship, you can’t just sign into Fetlife and meet someone who calls themselves a mistress and expect them to know how to handle you.

The few boys I currently dominate, besides my number one subby hubby, I’ve gotten to know. A couple are in chastity and I hold their keys, those boys are also long distance subs so our interaction is limited to online, email, text messages, etc. All of my boys are required to follow my rules, complete my tasks and accept and complete my punishments. I get to know my boys and I take the time to make their experience very personal. I give them time with me, I support them and encourage them to become better men for their wives or partners or future ones. I strive to keep them healthy and functioning at their best in all they do. I will say that I have some very good subs and, most of the time, they keep me very pleased. I do hope that I do the same for them. I’m actually, publicly going to require that my boys take a minute to reply to this post and write a “review” or testimonial of sorts. I want you boys to really think about what it is I do for you and how it makes you feel. If you’d rather do it anonymously let me know and I’ll post it.

I do have a certain someone who’s a different case, not in chastity and who is local. That’s an entirely different dynamic altogether. Hubby and I pretty much Dom him together, though I am dominant to them all. I love it, it boosts my self esteem knowing how I help them, support them and give them that piece in their lives they may feel is missing.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m the Domme that I am, I’m blessed with a hubby who understands and supports me having these boys. It’s work, but I always prioritize my family and my number one locked up subby boy but I love every minute of it. Thank you to hubby and all my boys for fulfilling me and keeping me pleased like the good boys you are.

Husband A Slave to My Sexual Needs

Posted by Michele on December 7, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I have, quite literally, been trying to write this post for three days. It’s been sitting in my drafts just waiting for me. On Friday, I sent this quick email to a couple friends:
” You’ll have to read the blog to hear the steamy adventures but… CM is a slave to my sexual needs today, I can’t get enough of his cock… I just fucked him good and hard, then I laid back and fucked my own ass with his cock and later I’m going to suck that big thick cock of his, fuck him some more and then lock him back up tight in his steel armor!”

So there’s my post, I’m done. 🙂

Haha, Yeah right! So you all know I was trying so hard to keep my cagedmonkey locked up tight until we renew our vows in January. Well, for some reason, I just cannot get myself past 3 weeks of not having him. It literally makes me nuts and no amount of fucking by “Adam” satisfies me like my hubby.

Cagedmonkey got home from work Friday morning and I was in some really bad shape. I tucked him into bed and snuggle up with him. We were doing some kissing and touching and groping and enjoying feeling every part of each others bodies. It was very similar to any other morning when I tuck him in. We kissed, we touched, he licked my tummy all the way down to my sweet mound. He licked my warm wet pussy to an orgasm and we cuddled a little bit more. As I was laying there in his arms, I felt this incredible ache between my legs. It was actually painful and the only way I can describe it was like a toothache in the lips of my pussy just aching to feel his massive hard cock sliding deep into my pussy.

My voice was shaky trying to explain this to him. He was such a good boy too, knowing not to push me too much in that vulnerable state. I was practically crying because I wanted and needed him so badly. I really was torturing myself, not only him, during all of this. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I HAD to have him, to use him, to feel him inside me. I got that screw undone and popped the tube off of his cock as fast as I could. The ring was not coming off! That’s ok though, the ring just acts like a cockring and makes him bigger and harder. God, I’m getting so horny right now thinking about this again! Ugh!

I immediately climbed up on his massive erection and slid down onto him with my extremely wet pussy. I rode his cock fast and as hard as I could, fucking my aching pussy until it squeezed forcefully around his erection, contracting over and over as I came so hard, quietly screaming through my orgasm. Oh it was such an amazing moment but I was no where near done. It only fueled the fire burning in me. I wanted more! I rolled myself off of him, on to my back and pulled him on top of me and he fucked me good missionary, thrusting into me hard. He was sliding in and out of me at the perfect rhythm, my pussy griping his cock and bringing me to another fantastic orgasm. I really do love how it feels to cum on his cock and how my pussy squeezes around his hardness.

We laid there for a moment just taking in the feelings of the moment. Being together in my after-orgasm glow, until my inner horny raged again. I rolled him to his side on an angle to me to form my favorite T position. I reach along side the bed and grabbed my wand. I told him I wanted a “big one,” which is what I call the orgasm that happens when I use the wand. I reached down and got his cock situated inside me, at this point he’s barely able to move because he’s so sensitive from me taking him over and over without allowing him to cum. So he explains he’ll “do his best ma’am.” I’m laying there moving my body, just using him to fuck myself as I have my wand on my clit. I was so wet and and I could feel my juices dripping down my crack tickling my tight asshole. It made me want to be filled up as the juices ran down. I really was just so horny to have him in every way that I pulled him out of me, reached down and pushed him down until his cock was gently pressing at my horny hole. I tilted myself toward him and slid his entire thickness into my ass, stretching me, filling me up. Fuck it was fantastic finally feeling him after waiting so long. I told him, as well as I could half out of breath how I wanted to be filled up more. He reached his hand down between my legs and slid two fingers into my wetness. As I rocked myself, sliding him in and out, with the wand on my clit, he fingered me faster and harder while I pushed myself into the orgasmic stratosphere.

My day was not complete, though, until I had him multiple times that day. Randomly throughout the day I would go into the bedroom, lock the door, tell him “hard cock,” as I’d drop my pants. I’d climb up on him and ride his cock three more times that day, enjoying my orgasms as I denied his. After dinner I made him shower and shave. I gave him a blow job and fucked him again as he sat on the couch, before he left for work, caged and denied.

I Don’t Want You to Touch Your Cock For a While

Posted by Michele on November 20, 2014
Posted in: Conversations, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 8 comments

This morning cagedmonkey and I had a conversation. He was telling me just how horny he was, which I love! I decided it was a good time to keep him abreast (haha I said breast!) of how the next couple months of his denial are going to go. He’s already at around 7 weeks I think (really, I stopped counting such things!). I figured screenshots of it were so much easier than trying to type it all out. So this is how things went – yes, with my stupid phone typos and all!
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Haha he’s says a major problem with his horny… He’s so damn cute. 🙂
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Yup, that’s a good subby boy, thank me for denying your orgasm. 🙂 of course I didn’t decide that this morning. I worked it all out with myself yesterday and decided last night. Neither of us was feeling well though and he called into work & went to bed at 6pm and I went at 9pm. Oh well, as a few of you, who talk to me off the blog, know I was having a bad day physically yesterday and needed the rest.
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Yeah, I guess I’m in one of those let me see how bad he can get moods. Plus, I absolutely get off on him begging. If he gets pissy, I swear, I’ll be bending his ass over and spanking it as red as a baboons.
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Haha yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh at my typo. It’s funny! Just for your info puss=plus. This is completely true though. I feel like pushing him, in the mean time that pushes me and I seriously do not want to get burnt out trying to do too much at once. It’s not an easy job being a wife, mother and keyholder. Being a keyholder certainly does not mean Lock it and Leave it. Maybe there are some out there that do that but it is not fair to anyone trying to enjoy this.
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Yeah, baby, you don’t have a choice but I do like to know you’re feelings. Maybe he’ll come here and post how he feels. 🙂 It’s going to be a fantastic two months ahead leading into our ceremony.

Speaking of our upcoming ceremony, we did just have someone ask recently if our ceremony is vanilla or were we adding in a “collaring.” The simple answer to that is yes, it will be a purely vanilla ceremony with some of our family and the members of our church. I suppose this could be a whole blog post on its own so I’ll leave this post to what it actually is.

Constant Arousal in Orgasm Denial

Posted by Michele on November 18, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 9 comments

It’s getting to that point for me, that point in cagedmonkey’s orgasm denial where I start to feel it. I’m nearing the end of my cycle and feeling much better emotionally at the same time. What that means is that my horny has kicked in high gear. It’s like I’m a pimply faced teenage boy who just got a shot of testosterone (right, Drew?). What that means for hubby is that I’m constantly hungry for him in some sexual way. Whether I’m smacking his ass as he walks by, walking up to him grabbing his caged cock through his pants as I kiss him deep or pulling him into the bedroom, locking the door and fucking the hell out of his face, it’s me, all day, in sexual attack mode.

It’s been about 6 weeks now since hubby’s last orgasm. I know, I choose to keep him denied because thats how I like him. The constant crazy high of his arousal is good for me. He’s more focused and attentive, more willing in all aspects of life. He’s completely and utterly horny for me which boosts me. I love him that way… but I also LOVE LOVE LOVE to make him cum. So yeah, there’s my dilemma. This whole denying him orgasm is really hard on me and all day, today, I’ve been arguing with myself about just saying screw it and letting him cum so I can use him to fuck me good and hard like I need to be. I think, if I wasnt on my cycle, I would be ok because he could just use the RodeoH harness with “Adam” in it and slam my pussy good and hard with my favorite toy. I know I’m going to have to basically torture myself for the next few days until I can have that. Why don’t I have him use it now? I don’t know, I have this thing about my toys being used during my period. If I use his cock (which I did the other night) it’s not a big deal to me because it washes off much more easily.

So before I go letting him erupt 6 weeks worth of his hot cum into my pussy I’m going to force myself to wait. Simply because I have a plan, I want him to wait until we renew our vows in January. I want him to save up and build up that incredible amount of horny and desire. I want to feel his passion that night after we are all lovey and promising to be together and take care of each other forever. I want his desire to be so much so that his orgasm is felt deep through his entire body and lasts for a long time.

So, as much as I love to make him cum, I love that constant arousal that comes with denying him his orgasm. I’m happy to remind myself of that and I’m happy waiting it out and having him please me in every other way possible. I’ll get mine and, eventually, I’ll get his too! 🙂

Feel my Control & nJoy That Plug in Your Ass

Posted by Michele on November 8, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 6 comments

I’m sure it must be wonderfully frustrating to be woken up to a cold steel butt plug being stuffed in your tight asshole. Yeah… that’s exactly what I just said to cagedmonkey as I went in to visit him this morning and stuffed his ass with the nJoy.

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The steel plug we have is only the small nJoy but I really do want to get the Large one very soon. I know Thumper has a few different plugs and I might have to talk to him about the ones he uses. One of the things I want to start with hubby is more use of the plug. With his incredible horniness and my intense teasing his prostate is swollen and the plug bounces and pushes against it forcing precum to drip and is a constant reminder of who owns his gorgeous little ass. The steel wrapped around his big manly cock is another reminder of who owns him… all of him… his mind, his body, his soul. Me, I own it… it’s mine all mine. I want him to forever and constantly be reminded of the control I have over him, the control he has given to me with his submission and devotion to me and our marriage.

This weekend we plan to discuss the “Daily tasks” that will be starting for cagedmonkey. It’s not a lot, it’s not domestic housework. It’s those things I want him to do to help show his submission and devotion to me. Those little things a sub does to show their dominant partner that they are thinking of them and doing those things they know would please them.

Getting Into Character: What I’m Scared of as a Domme & Keyholder

Posted by Michele on November 6, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 11 comments

Usually when I have some feelings to discuss with cagedmonkey, I do just that, I discuss it with him or use our “Communication book.” I do not normally come to the blog to make him aware of some feelings I’m having BUT I honestly think this is something not only I experience. I do believe these might be some common “wife as a Keyholder or Domme” fears or worries.

I’m sure you’ve read how cagedmonkey’s horny level is at an all time high. I’ve really been teasing him and mindfucking him rather intensely over the past month. This has kicked up his fantasy thoughts and, as he says, his fantasies are getting darker and more intense… It seems like the longer he is in chastity and denied with the combination of intense teasing the more slippery that “slippery slope” becomes and the idea of a lot kinkier stuff becomes more acceptable. I guess we’ll just see, over time, how slippery that slope can actually get.

The reason I bring all that up is because as cagedmonkey’s fantasies are getting more intense, I’m finding mine are too. I’m finding a deeper dominance inside me begging to come out. Why don’t I just let it out, you ask? Well, that’s easy, fear. I’m really scared of hubby’s reaction to something I might say. I feel this want and desire to “get into character” and when he begs say to him “No, subby hubby has not earned that” or whatever but I’m afraid of sounding too harsh. I’m afraid of him thinking I’m mean. I really want to be more direct and stern rather than playful with him sometimes but I’m scared. I could sit here and describe this over and over but I think you get it. When he begs for me to let him cum, I want to say “hell no! Go do the dishes” but instead, out of fear of being mean, I say something like, “ohhh sweetie, I don’t think so… maybe later.” Which is bull crap, that’s leading him on. I guess I want him to read this and understand I want to be more definite. I want to be much more dominant. When I ask him to do something and he tells me “can I do it in a few minutes?” I want to be able to say “I asked you to do it now, if you don’t you will get punished with the paddle before work, you choose…”

Anyway, who knows if this post will piss him off or help him to know I want to be more demanding, I want to add to my dominance, I want to require more of him. I feel like I want to make him lists of things to do, daily chores or tasks. I dunno if it’s just the timing and the built up crazy horny or what… but there it is, it’s out there now. We’ll see where it goes from here I suppose.

I love you my sweet darling boy with all of my heart and soul. I will be forever here protecting you and dominating you, whichever path we choose. Whether it be the lighter domination that we have had for 15 years or whether it grows into something deeper, something more.

I Love Being a Cocktease!

Posted by Michele on October 31, 2014
Posted in: Advice, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

What is a cocktease?

(n.) A Cock Tease is a woman who, from the male perspective, acts in a sexual manner with the intention of seducing a man, but without actually fulfilling the expected sexual actions.

(V.) To purposely become enticing to a male to the point of giving him a hardon, or in most cruel cases, blue balls, with no intention of follow through.

While looked at as a bad thing by some men, this is hot and exciting to those who realize the build up to orgasm is the best part of the sexual experience.

Being a cock tease comes naturally to me. I have always loved the act of seducing a man, the lead in, that build up of sexual tension. I have always been fantastic at it. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s a major turn on and a huge ego booster knowing that I can turn a guy on and get his cock rock hard. It’s especially hot if I can do that with my words or how I look or act. Turning a guy on and getting him hard to the point of frustration without even touching him really makes me feel powerful and in those moments, I am. I have complete control over the guy who is dangling from my sexual marionette strings. So, yes, I LOVE being a cocktease. <3

Now that I am married to a sweet, sexy submissive man who thrives on tease and orgasm denial, I get to live in that adrenaline rush from teasing a guy past the point of frustration. I get to enjoy that wonderful place of submission, that place where he is a puppet on my strings… waiting, wanting and needing me. That place where he craves me in every way, desires my attention and begs for my touch.

Having my man in chastity heightens that whole cocktease scenario. Locking your man’s cock in a cage holds that level of frustration, it keeps that feeling of arousal at a high without the let down of an orgasm. I love that I tease my husband all day, every day and keep him at the highest height of arousal possible. I know every woman out there loves when her guy is attentive, loving and romantic. When her guy is in that spot at the beginning of a relationship where he is constantly wooing her, telling her how he feels about her, how he loves her, how he wants her and how she turns him on. You know what I’m talking about, all those things a guy does just to get in your pants. It’s those things that make us women fall in love with you and desire you. Sure there are other things but, come on, you know when you are attentive and romantic to your Lady she wants you more sexually. The more a man caresses a woman emotionally, the more desire she has for him sexually.

The reason I wanted to write this post was because last night after cagedmonkey left for work I sat… alone… completely losing my horny feelings. My pussy just wasn’t all that wet anymore and my smile faded and so did those good feelings of being wanted and desired. My constant feelings of arousal were dissipating. I woke up this morning feeling disappointed because I wasn’t feeling that crazy horny feeling anymore.

I will say that I started to tingle when I got that morning text message:

Hey baby 🙂
How are you on this lovely lovely wonderful most awesomest morning, my sweet sensational love?

Eeeeeee! It only got better when the first thing that happened when he walked in the door was him stopping mid sentence to say:

Oh my God you look beautiful this morning.

Without another word or even putting his stuff down, he came over to me, put his hand around the back of my neck and kissed me as I was trying to tell him welcome home.

Seriously? Uhhhhhhhgh! That was that, my pussy got that warm tingly feeling inside and I knew I was instantly getting wet. I realized that my constant horny, crazy, neediness is fueled by my husband. It’s catapulted into the air and soars when I am with him. When he is stroking my emotions, petting them gently, he is causing a physical reaction in me. I love it more than I could possibly explain in words.

Boys, I can’t say it enough… never, never ever ever stop “dating” your Lady. Don’t ever, ever ever ever, stop “trying to get in her pants” – EMOTIONALLY! She will think you’re irresistible! She will want you, desire youand want to please you sexually more often.

Getting My Revenge

Posted by Michele on October 28, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments

At the beginning of this year we had ordered a Revenge from Steelworxx in Germany. We got it back in March and tried it out for awhile. We realized after using it a few times that there were some things we wanted to add/change. We made sure we measured over and over and thought long and hard about what we wanted since, to make changes, we would have to send the device back to Germany. In August, we did just that. Btw, sending the device we spent a ton on to begin with, half way around the world was nerve racking! When a month went by without him getting it, I was nervous. Then when 6 weeks came along and he still hadn’t gotten it I was getting a bit freaked out and thought we lost our money and the device was just gone… but just over 7 weeks later Steelworxx emailed to say they have finally received the device and could start making the adjustments.

As you can see in the previous post (linked above) we had ordered the regular pad lock post and a 50mm ring and did the device kinda as is. You can see below how we added the steel ring around the start of the tube and we also got the anatomic ring which curves a bit back at the bottom.
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We also added the integrated lock and the base ring size is smaller as well. It is now about 47mm I believe.
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I do think we nailed the sizing and stuff on this one. After the past couple days, while hubby was off work, I made him get dressed in the Revenge. Especially when I woke up yesterday sore as hell because I made him fuck every hole I have nice and hard and deep. He fucked me over and over, as I requested, while he himself was denied any sort of pleasure or orgasm. I’ve been so horny and hard to satisfy sexually recently and I made sure I was fucked SO good that I was walking funny the next morning. God it felt good and I was wet and horny all day because I couldn’t stop thinking about all the constant fucking. 🙂

I had cagedmonkey get dressed in the Revenge last night and so far he says he’s had no issues and is comfortable. That’s good because I have no plans of removing his device for a bit. I just love that he can’t touch or see his own cock and when he does attempt an erection he’s gets an all over squeeze around his cock.
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It’s so shiny and sexy, don’t you think? I do have to comment on how much I love the integrated lock! It’s very easy to lock and unlock and, oh man, is it ever perfect for rubbing my pussy on hubby cage without hurting my lady parts! Even with the security screw on other devices the post still sticks out a bit and can hurt a little if in not careful. This lock is rounded and I couldn’t feel it at all when I was teasing hubby this morning.

I’m already enjoying cagedmonkey being locked in the Revenge again. Today I’ve been teasing him quite intensely, I’ve done my morning facesitting and also covered his chest with my pussy juices. I did a little breath play with him this morning and it got me turned right the hell on so I ended up cumming right there on his chest while smothering him with my big titties. I left his face and chest covered in my juices and went out to do errands.

When I got back from running around I went in for a little visit. While he was sleeping I lubed up my fingers and woke his ass up… quite literally. 🙂 I gave him a good ass fingering with a couple of my fingers and, damn, did I love hearing his moaning and whimpering from being violated and used for my pleasure. I’m really going to enjoy using and abusing him and giving him a taste of what it is to have sore holes from being overused. In sure the rest of the week is going to be just lovely and frustrating for him. I can’t wait!

Guilty Feelings – Denial Must Be Working

Posted by Michele on October 16, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , . 1 comment

Well I’ve noticed each time we go through a new denial period that I get to a point where I start getting these feelings of guilt. I start feeling bad for times like this morning when I go visit hubby in the bedroom and cum over and over again until I’m a heaving, breathy, sweaty mess on the bed. 🙂 I could really feel the frustration in him, the massive amount of horny dying for some satisfaction. I could hear it in his voice, see it in his face and feel it in his touch. He’s aching for an orgasm and while I love to get him to this point, as a keyholder it can be a rough time. It’s time to get over the guilt feelings for denying him and just enjoy the frustration.

Though, these are the times us keyholders may need that little reminder that we are doing a good job, that this is what you boys want. You want to be teased, used as a sex toy and left in a puddle of precum, denied the pleasure of your own orgasm. Sometimes we just need some encouragement. A super easy way to let your Mistress/Wife/Keyholder know you are loving the anguish they are putting you through is to say thank you. It is so encouraging, not too mention pretty damn hot, too hear cagedmonkey say, “thank you for allowing me to please you My Lady while you deny me the pleasure of my own orgasm. You always know just what I need.” It really shows so much submission and let’s me know that, even if I’m being a little harsh, it’s ok because he wants my control.

Anyway, I know when I get these feelings, something I’m doing is working because the more frustrated and horny he gets, the wetter and more drippy my pussy is. The more I hear the frustration in his moans, the harder I cum. 🙂

Feel Like I’m Failing as a Keyholder

Posted by Michele on September 10, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder. Tagged: , , , . 17 comments

Since the other night when I got a little twinge of disappointment when cagedmonkey lost his erection, I’ve had some “I’m not good enough” stuff going on. I could feel the depression happening… losing my confidence, my self esteem and especially my horny. Hubby tried to arouse me a few times and I did start to feel a bit horny but it easily faded when he wasn’t around or was sleeping. I think that was another thing feeding into my depression, it always takes hubby a day or so to readjust after being off work so he sleeps quite a bit extra and our nightly connection isn’t what it normally is.

Then today pushed me further down into the hole of “I suck-ness” when I had to endure the terrible emotional battery I did from my 9yr old daughter. In case you don’t know, our daughter is on the Autism Spectrum and has some other medical issues so we homeschool her. I’m not going to get into it all but it hurt me to the core. I hid in the kitchen and cried because I felt like the worst parent, I felt like (feel like) I’m failing her, like maybe she deserves a better mom.

So as you can imagine this has all been taking away from the attention I usually give to cagedmonkey. So, yes, I feel like I’m failing as a keyholder and wife too. He’s not getting nearly the amount or quality of attention he wants or is used to. I need this depression to go away, I hate having feelings come over me like “maybe I should just give him the key and say forget it because I can’t give him what he wants right now.” I don’t really want that. I want to be fixed emotionally so that my dominant, confident, teasing horny comes back.

I did love the great pussy eating I got before hubby left for work tonight as well as the big long cum. I just wish I didn’t feel like I was on an emotional roller coaster.