Tease & Denial

Single entendre = My Lady and I getting back to our chastity D/s lifestyle.

Double entendre = getting my cock back into ML’s groove (a.k.a. her pussy).

Last night was my first night off from work after six days, and our first really good chance to spend some time with each other. And by “good chance” I mean not tired from our vacation, as well as ML’s pussy being “available” once again. I find that it’s much easier for me to be submissive when I can service ML’s pussy. When she is on her period, we are more dependent on her teasing me, which is very nice but not as effective at putting me into sub mode.

With that said, ML started the night off with teasing my cock a bit, or as she put it quite bluntly, “messing with my cock for a bit.” She started by stroking me until I was squirming on the bed, enjoying the feel of her hand squeezing around my shaft.

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She was teasing and stroking me, slowing down before I got too close to the edge. She said that she didn’t want to ruin my o too quickly, that she wanted to tease me with it a little bit longer. She gave my cock a rest for a moment and began to massage my balls, which held my arousal but didn’t push me any closer to the edge. She knows just how to manipulate me in the exact ways she wants to.

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I was moaning louder as she alternated between stroking my cock and rubbing my balls, holding me at just the right amount of arousal she wanted to give me. Her hands felt like heaven, and each moment made me want more. She must have read my mind, because she looked into my eyes as she stroked me and asked me if I wanted her to make me cum.

“Do you want me to make you shoot your cum all over your stomach?” she asked as her eyes locked onto mine. I knew she wouldn’t, so I just whimpered as she continued to stroke me. “Tell me,” she prodded, “tell me how bad you want it.” I nodded, but she wanted to hear it. “Tell me,” she said firmly, squeezing me tighter and quickening her pace. As I reached the edge, I obliged her.

“Yes, please make me cum!” I begged. She stroked me harder, right to the edge, Just as I was about to cum, she released my cock, grabbed my head and pulled me towards her, and kissed me deeply and forcefully. The kiss was so hot, so fucking amazing, that it pushed me right to the edge and ruined my orgasm all by itself! My cock throbbed through its unfulfilled orgasm, releasing only the slightest dribble of cum.

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Then it was time for My Lady to get her pleasure. Using my post ruined orgasm cock, she instructed me to lay beside her so I could fuck her pussy while she laid on her back and rub her clit. It’s one of her most favorite positions. I could feel her pussy squeezing my cock almost immediately after entering her. Damn how I missed that! After only a minute or so I could feel her first  orgasm pulsing through her pussy. Not content with just one, she rubbed herself to two more orgasms, cumming all over my cock until we were both soaking wet. I was able to fuck her well enough through a fourth stifled-screaming orgasm until I felt the rumblings of my own orgasm approaching, at which point I needed to bow out for the safety of my denial.

My Lady wasn’t finished, requiring another two more orgasms from my fingers before she was completely spent. She usually gets very greedy during our first “after cycle” session, bit even she will admit that six orgasms is a lot, even for her! She was extremely horny and wanting my cock, though, and since I get so much pleasure out of making My Lady cum, I had absolutely no complaints whatsoever.

Last night cagedmonkey and I had a little alone, adult time together. I would get into describing it but I’ll leave that to him since it focuses on me dominating him for the most part. It’s probably better that you experience that part from the receiver.

As for me, while I enjoyed last night’s acute intensity very much, I’m experiencing what I would consider one of my most severe episodes of Domme Drop (regarding length). I’ve talked about this before in previous posts and even described it here. It really is no fun. I actually have been doing very well with things and haven’t had too many episodes of drop recently and when I anticipated one I would use my anxiety meds (as decided with the help of a doctor) to combat the effects just prior to them happening. Also, since you know me and I think communication is huge, hubby and I talk about it and he helps greatly during a drop.

I really had no thoughts, with the very short time that we got to spend together, that I would even have any drop. I found out very quickly after cagedmonkey went to work that the drop, no matter how much time is spent during an intense scene, can and will happen.

The part that makes a drop hard for me is the roller coaster feeling. I’ll be fine one minute and the next my eyes well up with tears or I’m feeling anxious. I realized a lot of the feelings last night were questions, worries if you will, about cagedmonkey’s experience. I think the time drop hits me the most is when we have an intense scene and right after that hubby has to go to work. Then he gets home at 7am and it’s breakfast time for the kids and he’s gotta get to bed. There is no time to talk about the events that took place, no time to hear that he liked or disliked something, no “thank you ma’am” for dominating me, for spanking my ass or any of that. We just don’t get that time together to give me the feedback I apparently desperately need.

That’s what it is, I realized, during the scene I’m not getting much feedback because he is enduring what I’m dishing out (spanking, assplay, teasing, breath play etc) and it’s what I need afterwards. I need to know how he feels about what happened. I need to know that it was ok, that he is ok and they I don’t need to feel guilty. When it’s a rush after to get him off to work and we don’t even discuss the scene – like it didn’t happen – I begin to worry. Did he like it? Did it feel good? Was it hot for him? Did he like feeling me take what I wanted from him? Did he like me using his body to do as I please? The questions race through my head causing the ripples of anxiety. The anxiety causes my emotional down. The feelings of sadness, worry and probably even some shame need to be squashed out by the communication and feedback after a scene. It’s like I have said before even a Domme can need “aftercare.”

I wonder, do other Dommes or Tops who experience drop feel that the feedback helps them?

Tonight the kids will be going back to their Friday night activity. It’s a social skills group for kids with Autism (and their siblings) that usually happens once or twice a month. That means hubby and I get about one and a half hours of uninterrupted Date Night. These date nights can range anywhere from a nice night out at a restaurant for dinner to a quick movie at home together and sometimes, like tonight, it can be an intense D/s or tease session depending on how we are feeling. Actually depending on how I’m feeling since, sexually, I control it all. 🙂

I can honestly say I don’t have specific plans for tonight but when hubby asked if he should plan to make dinner I told him no. I said I was in desperate need to dominate him and I needed an intense D/s session. I told him with the very limited amount of time we have I did not want to waste it eating dinner. LoL

I’m already in a very powerful mood this morning. He got home from work and I went in to tuck him into bed. That turned into a half an hour of pretty intense teasing and me getting very aggressive with him. At first I laid with him and was trailing my fingers up and down his naked body. Running them all around his cage but ignoring the locked cock within. I gently dragged my fingers along his stomach and chest, across his nipples and up over his shoulders. I traced all the gorgeous lines of his body and loved hearing him gasp and quietly moan as he got more and more aroused. I could feel the skin get tighter as he swelled in his cage.

I was getting more and more turned on, I could feel my pussy getting wetter and warmer, quivering in my panties. As I was teasing and tickling cagedmonkey, I felt this wonderful surge., a powerful, aggressive feeling came over me. I pinched and pulled his nipples just to hear him moan. I crave hearing his reaction to my touch. I made him moan into my ear, made him whimper and I could feel his breath. It made me extremely horny and I could feel my need to orgasm, simply from his reactions to my touch. It is nothing short of amazing that I feel this with him.

I continued teasing, tickling, pinching and pulling, filling my desire for his reaction. I kept doing it until I pushed myself to the edge of orgasm. Right at the peak I climbed on top of him and rubbed my panty covered pussy on his cock straining in his Jail Bird. I pushed myself over as I humped his body through my orgasm. Fuck, it was fantastic to feel those powerful, “I’ll use you and take what I want from you” feelings again.

As I mentioned, I’m not sure what tonight will bring but I have thought about wearing my new strap on harness. I’ve thought about bending him over and forcing him to be mine. But… who knows, we’ll just have to see what happens tonight! I do know that today, all day, is going to be one hell of a prolonged tease session. I have no plans of letting him get uninterrupted sleep today, he’ll just have to deal with it. 🙂

If you’ve been following along, you know I’ve had some Dommy confidence issues. I’ve been trying to get myself back into the organized, always have a plan, Domme that I am. After taking almost two weeks off to enjoy some beautiful Caribbean weather, it has been quite the task getting back organized.

Thanks to locking hubby up, talking about an intense D/s session with him, chatting all sexy with friends in email, text and Twitter and getting back to reading sexy blogs, I’m feeling much better about my kinky state. I will admit I was a bit worried that I lost my kinky but I think it just came down to not being in a kinky environment. I’m definitely a chameleon and have always been when it comes to social situations. I can fit in anywhere and be what I need to be to fit in – always continuing to be myself in the process but censoring what needs to be censored out of respect for the rest of the world. So I feel like spending 2 weeks in the “vanilla” world and not thinking or really even talking kinky set me back. It’s coming back all kinds of lovely now. 🙂

The past few days, as I’ve said, I’ve had some chats with people and read some stuff that has gotten my creative fantasy juices flowing, not to mention other juices. I thought I’d come here and write them down. This way you all get to enjoy my kinky fantasy thoughts and I get to get all turned on thinking about you enjoying them. And what you might be doing with yourself while enjoying them – if you are lucky enough not to be locked in a cage that is. 🙂

I’ve had some amazing thoughts going on, from spanking to sensory deprivation, from simple bondage to full on Doggystyle Stockade with an attached fucking machine.

I was looking through pics on my phone and found one of cagedmonkey’s gorgeous ass, nice and red after I spanked him over my knee bare handed. Good God is it a beautiful thing to look at and remember how it feels to spank him as he squirms and whimpers in my lap. I started to think about how much enjoyment I get when using my paddle too. When I have him bound spread eagle, face down on the bed spanking his ass, thighs and even spreading those cheeks and giving his tight little asshole a swat.
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I also recently read, over at Chastity Forums I think, about a guy who’s wife made him wear rubber gloves as a way to diminish his sensation when touching her, or something like that… so that got me thinking a lot about sensory deprivation. I’ve often tried to think of a way that I could deprive cagedmonkey of some of his senses, including touch, but still get what I need from him – like his touch! So this whole rubber glove thing got me going. If I’ve got cagedmonkey restrained, in the hood, ear buds in with something playing on his S5 or iPod, caged but having the RodeoH and my favorite dildo attached and rubber gloves on him there is quite a bit of possibility there. I just think there is an awful lot of frustration to be had while I’m able to please myself and he can feel absolutely nothing.

My thoughts have also gone deeper, rather quickly, as my need to dominate my husband sexually has increased. I’ve started thinking a lot about the Doggystle stockade we’ve mentioned in the past wanting to get. We’ve had all kinds of mindfuck sessions thinking about the things we could do with a piece of furniture like this. Even more recently we’ve gotten even more intense with our fantasies and added in thoughts of the attached fucking machine (which led us to the site linked above).

So many fantastic, naughty things could happen with this set up. Not only could we do some of the things mentioned in previous posts, while hubby is being excruciatingly slowly violated by the fucking machine but we could also use it as a torture device. The site we’ve been looking at also has Fleshlight attachments for the fucking machine which could be used to force fuck cagedmonkey for, potentially, hours at whatever pace a please. Perhaps juuuuuuuuust slow enough that he can’t cum but not too slow that he could lose his erection. Or, perhaps, it could be used to continue stroking him post orgasm for some torture. So many ideas ranging from forced anal violation to forced orgasms but isn’t that why I’m in control? I get to decide when and what sexual pleasure or torture he will have to endure and for how long.

The other thing I’ve been fantasizing about with having this machine, since we aren’t into the actual physical side of cuckolding, is the potential to kind of cuckold cagedmonkey. I could fuck myself with the machine in every way I like over and over, having him tied in the stackade portion, forced to watch me cum. Forced to see the pleasure I get while he is locked there wishing he was the one pleasing me. Watching as a machine takes his place and fucks his wife inches from his face where he can smell my sex and is aching and dripping, wanting to taste me… feel me… touch me.

As you can see my naughty, kinky thoughts are coming back just fine. I am loving being back home because I’m getting that, ever so intense, growly, hungry, animalistic, horny growing inside me and I need to take it out on cagedmonkey.

In the midst of getting ready for our anniversary cruise, it’s been hard to find time to post and what not. But I figured this was important enough to squeeze in a post as best as I can.

I got my long awaited orgasm last night, after 3 months and over 100 days of going without!

It was amazing! My Lady couldn’t decide whether she wanted to see how big my load was or not, but after feeling my cock inside her pussy for the first time in a couple of weeks (locked up in the Revenge 24/7 during that time), she couldn’t wait and needed me to cum inside her. I wasn’t in a position to argue, considering I was right close to the edge as she was deliberating anyway.

My orgasm came quick and was very powerful. It hit me in strong waves, my body lurching and spasming as I tried to keep some sort of composure (and failing). I moaned loudly, unable to keep it in, worried about the kids hearing but also not giving a crap at the same time. As my orgasm continued (it felt like the longest one of my life!), I think I began to have a strange unfamiliar emotional reaction, because I couldn’t help but begin laughing during the end part of it. It was so uncommon that ML had to ask if everything was okay, to which I replied “yes” in between my orgasmic shudders and moans.

ML enjoyed watching me experience this so much that she accidentally delayed her own orgasm. She usually cums right along with me (when I’m allowed, of course), but this time she only started at the tail end of my orgasm. Her’s seemed just as intense as mine was, as she gripped my body with both her arms and legs and squeezed me hard. Her hips rolled and humped against me, her pussy gripping my cock and giving me even more post-orgasmic thrills. It was an intense moment, and we shared it with each other kissing fiercely as our orgasms faded.

So yeah… it was well worth the wait! Not only was the orgasm fucking amazing, but the lead up to it with the teasing and denial and chastity was wonderful as well. I am looking forward to the next few weeks of “chastity/denial vacation” during the cruise, and being able to have sex with ML without worrying about holding back my orgasm (we’ve only had a couple more opportunities since last night… damn all of this packing and other things to do!). But I’m sure when we get back, ML and I will be very excited to get back into it!

Yesterday I wrote about how I’m so fucking horny and I really want to take cagedmonkey out of the damn cage and fuck him silly. No, I’m still not going to haha but I have gotten to the point of being so horny that even his mouth isn’t enough. 🙂

This afternoon I went to wake him and decided it was a good time to have him lovingly lick my pussy all sweet and gentle and st…. BAHAHAHA yeah right, I made him put his face between my legs, I grabbed the back of his head and shoved him full on into my pussy. You people know I’m way more aggressive than that! He licked and sucked and pleased every inch of my delicious girlie parts. I came on his face so hard, twice. I absolutely love when he looks up at me and his goatee is soaked with my creamy cum.

After those two orgasms I really was not done and I started to rub my own clit. I wanted him inside me so bad. I think I kinda have him this sad “fuck I want to feel you, I don’t care just put your steel cage in me” look and he did. He slid the Revenge into me (yes that’s a pic for you) as best he could while I rubbed my pussy. I could feel the resistance as my pussy clenched around the the smooth steel of the Revenge. When I came on him my pussy pulsed and he could see it as it throbbed over and over through my orgasm. After he pulled out, his cage was covered and dripping with my creamy goodness. Such a beautiful thing to be so wet and horny for my man.

Yeah, so I’m that horny that I’ll just fuck him in the steel cage even. I’ve just got three more days but tonight, to help get me through, he’s going to fuck me really good with my favorite dildo, Adam. I can’t wait!

Cagedmonkey has been denied almost 100 days (98 if you’re keeping track) now and he won’t be getting a release until Sunday… night most likely. He will have been locked up tight 24/7 for almost 2 weeks by that point. Yes we have done longer 24/7 periods but it’s been pretty intense this time around. I’ve been especially horny and doing such dirty, naughty things to him.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit frustrated and horny myself. I find this happens when I’ve got hubby locked in the Revenge (or the Jail Bird too) for a significant amount of time without using my toy. Since mother nature decided it was time for my period early this month, thank you for that because I’d hate to have it while in a cruise, I figured it was a good time as any to lock him in the Revenge. I certainly wouldn’t be taking it out to play with it. I really think it’s going to be so crazy to feel him after not having him for almost 2 weeks. I’ve been cumming and cumming and I can just imagine how tight my pussy is going to be. I bet it’s going to hurt when he slides it in the first time. Not a bad hurt but a stretchy, omfg this feels so good, hurt.

So, like I said, I woke up very horny and growly frustrated because I fucking want him but I made myself a promise – not until Sunday. It’s messing with my brain and I’ve been having awfully naughty, dirty, much more intense fantasies about femdom sessions with him. I couldn’t tell him out loud because of innocent ears so I texted him today to tell him how I was feeling. To tell him how my pussy was so wet thinking about what I wanted to do to him.

I have a problem because I just had a thought/fantasy run through my head about how I want to see you on your knees in front of me, eyes watering, mouth drooling, whimpering and begging me to stop because I’m forcing you to choke and gag on my strap on while fucking your face. Fuck I’m fucking God Damn horny!

Yeah, that’s about the spot I’m in right now and I’m wishing we could get a babysitter on Sunday night so we could have a real femdom type night with my thigh highs, boots, his collar and everything. I’m feeling like I want or need a very good intense Domme session. The other day, having more control over him, really boosted me. And fuck, spanking him was absolutely fantastic!. It’s been since August that I spanked him and I used the strap-on on him then too. It was incredible, I want that again. I want to use my new harness and probe because it seems like it’s going to be the most amazing thing.

Looking back at older posts just now I ran into this Femdom session from almost a year ago. It’s funny how these feelings seem to cycle around. When I read that I was like “yes, yes, I want to do THAT!” Anyway, I really have no idea when I can have a moment like that but I sure am craving it.

Ok seriously, I can’t leave this unsaid any longer! I keep thinking back to the other night. I had asked him to post about this because my vanilla world has been nuts as of late. He just hasn’t gotten around to it so before we get too far, I’ll take care of it and I hope he comments with his thoughts. Cagedmonkey was off work Sunday and Monday this week so after waiting for our weekend to finally get here on Sunday I decided to use him like he’d never been used.

We were sitting on the couch watching tv when I decided to kneel in front of him and take off his cage. He was pretty much instantly hard, as always. The first thing I did was stroke him and edge him a few times until I edged him so far I ruined an orgasm. I have gotten so good at ruinning them that barely a drop comes out. We’ve noticed recently that once I do this he is able to stay hard without trying as well as being able to fuck me really good without having to stop every three seconds.

Once I had him calmed a little from the ruined orgasm, I climbed up and rode him a bit. I stuffed my big titties in his mouth and made him suck on them (as if I really have to make him do that haha). He was already tired because it was getting kinda late but, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter if he’s tired, when I want to be fucked, I will be fucked.

I turned around to face the tv and rode him a bit with my back toward him. I love bending over forward just a bit in this position to show him that sexy roundness of my ass. The moans that escape his lips while he watches my ass slides up and down on his big thick cock are such a turn on. All I did to myself while bouncing on his lap like that was turn myself on more and make myself want to be fucked more. So I slid off forward onto all fours on the floor in front of him. I told him, “get down here and fuck me good and hard like my good boy.” He did exactly as he was told. He knelt behind me, guided his thick meat into my warm, tight, wet pussy and pounded away at me. Slamming his cock into me, with his hands holding my hips. Pressing into me as fast and hard as he could over and over until he was exhausted. He asked if he could stop but I was not done and not ready to allow him to be done. His cock was still hard, my pussy was still horny and I didn’t care that his body was tired and aching. I didn’t care that the cramp in his neck was hurting. I made him keep fucking me. He had begun to whimper and beg me to let him stop. I told him multiple times if he started to slow, “no! Keep going, I’m not done yet” and “don’t you dare stop fucking me!” I do love hearing him beg, especially when it’s so real and genuine.

When he finally collapsed backward against the couch I still wouldn’t let him be done. I moved myself back onto his cock and pinned him against the couch, continuing to fuck him and push my ass back onto his lap, driving his cock deeper into my pussy. That’s when I felt him inside me just right and I knew I could squirt. So I tightened just the right muscles and as I was fucking him I squirted all over his cock and balls. I still wasn’t done with him. I continued to pound myself back on him. I worked my pussy back up to squirt again and pushed his cock inside me at just the right angle and right when I could feel it was time to tighten those muscles, I stood up and backed over his face. I let my squirt juices go and cover his chin, chest and drip right down his stomach to his cock, yet again. I stepped away, looked at him and giggled just before climbing up on his face and making him clean up my messy, cummy, squirty juice, used pussy.

Mmmm it’s nights like that where I love being the dominant one. Using him for all of my sexual pleasure while he is left covered in my pussy juices, used, tormented and denied his own orgasmic pleasure.

Today marks 3 calendar months since my last orgasm, which – thanks to Pope Gregory XIII – corresponds to a very uneven 92 days. My Lady put it into perspective for me by equating it to 1/4 of a year. Has it really been that long? Yes, it fucking has. I may not have been counting day by day, but I was very aware of my growing frustration and horniness. ML made sure of that. What’s even more amazing to think about is how many orgasms My Lady has had during this time. Considering how she averages at least one cum a day (and very often more than that), it has to be well over one hundred.

So… exactly how long has it been since my last orgasm? What has happened since that morning when I filled My Lady’s pussy with a nice load of cum? Let’s see… since my last orgasm:

I have about two weeks go to until I get to cum; ML has promised me that this is not a “Maybe Day” this time around, it’s a “DEFINIETLY Day!” It’s been a long wait, and I’m not going to lie… I’m really glad it’s almost done. I’m desperate to cum! But that’s how My Lady wants me, and that’s why we do this.

Yes, you read that right. I told cagedmonkey this morning that I didn’t want him to make me cum for a couple days. His reaction? Well, shock because I cum probably about 5 times a day on average. Sometimes I cum 3 times first thing in the morning when he gets home. So he says, “basically you’re denying yourself orgasm?!” Why yes, my darling sweet boy I AM. Of course he asked why, as I’m sure you just asked!

Well earlier in and throughout the week I’ve had some extremely hard orgasms and because of the kids I’ve had to control my volume. That has put so much pressure on my throat muscles and they hurt quite badly. It doesn’t help that I’m constantly correcting and disciplining my kids the past couple days (is the moon full?). Nor does it help that I’ve had to parent through the door directly in the middle of an orgasm because brother was hitting sister or sister took brothers toy.

So yes, I’m denying myself orgasms for the next couple days and trying (though the kids aren’t helping) to use my voice less. The first thing cagedmonkey asked was if he was allowed to tease me. I did allow him some gentle teasing of my pussy but no edging and no major make me breathe heavy through my throat muscles teasing either. He actually doesn’t think I’ll make it very long, I don’t usually go more than a day without. I’ll just have to turn my need for my own orgasm into some very intense teasing for him.

Today we were talking about some sensory deprivation using the bondage sack and the hood and his ear phones. Could be lots of fun there and I thought about making videos of his torment and sharing them. How humiliating to have everyone else see what you’re going through when you have no idea the time of day, if or when something might be happening. We also talked about getting some audio of sex sounds and forcing him to listen to sex over and over in his ears while he is completely bound and shut off from the world.

Anyone have any ideas for long audio clips of dirty, naughty sloppy fucking? 🙂