(Lady and cagedmonkey feel that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and especially important in a chastity relationship. Occasionally, Lady and cagedmonkey will shed some light on what these conversations are like. What follows is a discussion between the two of them, all while posting to the blog.)
CM: So I wanted to ask you something…
Lady: ok?
CM: Does your intense arousal level push you farther in denying me, or does denying me increase your arousal level? Or is it chicken and egg?
Lady: Oh boy… uhhh… honestly I don’t know!
CM: Because I definitely see it feed both ways…. When you see how desperate I am, your pussy soaks, and other times you get so turned on, you really take teasing me to another level.
Lady: Oh definitely! I get extremely turned on by your desperation… but making you get to the point of desperation is extremely arousing
CM: But when you get turned on, you want to push me more.
Lady: Sitting here… I might have to say the bigger more arousing thing is seeing and feeling your ache, your desperate need for me. It’s like the one is the initial turn on but the big big thing is you being there and it makes me want to push you more so I feel more – maybe
CM: Another question – When we first started, you said that no matter how much I pleased you while locked, you would still need my cock. Is that starting to change?
Lady: Definitely not.
CM: Ok good 🙂
Lady: I still need and want you very very badly… the part that changed is my will power and that I see how you get the longer I deny you so I want to make myself hold off but it’s very difficult
CM: But I sense the need to make me cum has subsided quite a bit.
Lady: THAT has totally changed! I used to feel like I had to give you an orgasm to keep you happy and wanting to be with me… now… I don’t feel that way at all.
CM: Do you still want/need my help?
Lady: Your help to deny you? I don’t think so… I don’t need you to not ask for fear that I might give in. If I “give in” it’s because I want to not because of what you do or don’t do
CM: What about you though? The feel of my cock surging inside you, filling you up…. You said before that you need that. Not anymore?
Lady: I DO need it… I just know if I force myself to wait it will be that much more fantastic
CM: So it’s more like you want it, but you can wait for it
Lady: Oh hell I want it, need it, ache for it but I’m able to control it – with the help of the device. If the device wasn’t there I’d give in and fuck you all the time
CM: I wish! Do you think you’ll ever be able to progress from “want” to “need”? I just realized this sounds like pressuring but it’s not, just curious
Lady: I don’t feel this as pressuring at all, dear
CM: Ok good 🙂
Lady: What do you mean progress from want to need?
CM: Basically, i’m wondering if we will get to the stage where you can keep me cum-less indefinitely without “denying” yourself….. I don’t mean permanent (God no), but for as long as you like with no limits
Lady: You mean without feeling like I’m denying myself?
CM: Yes.
Lady: I think my levels will/are changing as to when I start to NEED to feel you, see you or want you to cum.
CM: Ok. For your information, I’m hoping we can get there. I want you to have everything you want but still be able to deny me for as long as you wish (weeks, months, etc)
Lady: That’s the overall plan 🙂
CM: I don’t want anything to influence you, including your cravings.
Lady: I’m slowly building my “tolerance” or ability to hold off on feeling you… it’s not easy because looking back, 10 days kicks my ass (right about now!) but I’m getting better at getting through by not unlocking you on vulnerable days!
CM: But what happens if a non vulnerable day turns into a vulnerable day? 🙂
Lady: Well… I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there 🙂
CM: I’m just afraid one day I’ll be inside you and you’ll cave in the middle of a MASSIVE denial period 🙂
Lady: If that happened, we start over… we have so many years ahead! 🙂
CM: True… I just wanna wanna wanna wanna do this right!
Lady: There is no right or wrong, darling How we do it IS right!
CM: Got that right!
We’ve been playing this incredible game for more than three years now, and it’s only been in the past year and a half that CH has been able to get past her guilty feelings about not giving me regular orgasms. I guess it’s something that society drums into us from an early age, that wives are expected to sexually please their husbands.
Now, however, she’s over it, at least most of the time, and she’s like you, Lady, in that seeing my need and my frustration (even though I’m fully on board, and wanting to be denied) when she’s teasing the shit out of me, makes her pussy run like a river…
Now, the only things she looks forward to about my orgasms is watching or feeling me spurt, and feeding my sticky issue back to me for recycling…
There is no need to feel like an orgasm is doing it wrong. Nor that being denied months solid is better than a shorter time. For one the odd orgasm doesn’t reduce your horniness level much when it’s just a lone cum. Secondly if Lady or You occasionally crack on a vulnerable day then that’s just part of the fun. And it is fun as well as being a lifestyle. If you crack she can punish you but not for guilt or because it’s wrong. If she cracks well she’s the boss it’s what she wanted, so it’s not wrong by definition.