chastity, male chastity

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Mail Chastity – Potpourri

Posted by JonMustWait on July 26, 2015
Posted in: Mail Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Cleaning up the mail box so here is a potpourri of Mail Chastity questions I’ve received. It might end up being a little bit of a longer post. Sorry for the delay in answering any of your questions!

Chris writes:

“I follow your blog some time now. I realy like it.
I plan to buy a steelworkxx looker 1. I am looking for advice on the cockring. I read that people sleep better with a normal ring than with the anatomical ring. The anatomical ring would give a burning/biting feeling. Do you have experience with both of them? What would be your advice?”

I think that the difference between an anatomical ring and a regular one is really a matter of preference. I’ve heard guys swear by its comfort, but I didn’t like it when I wore mine with the Revenge. The curvature at the bottom never seemed to find a comfortable place, and it just didn’t feel right. Now I use just the regular straight ring with the Revenge, and everything feels fine.

My best advice would be to go with what suits you best. If you’re uncomfortable with the anatomical ring, I wouldn’t try to gut it out just because other people do better with it. Try out the regular ring and see how it feels, and then go with whichever is better.

A gentleman from FetLife asks:

“Does chastity hurt as the denial sets in?”

I’m going to answer this in two parts, because it’s a more complicated question than you might realize.

Physically, chastity shouldn’t “hurt” over time as the denial continues. A proper fitting cage with proper hygiene won’t cause any skin irritations; as far as blue balls go, I would consider that more tenderness than actual pain. Yes, they are more sensitive to your normal daily jostling, but it’s not a constant source of discomfort.

Mentally, it definitely comes and goes. During long denial periods I can go from being super psyched (“I’m going to be denied orgasm for three months? That’s crazy!”) to wanting it to end (“I’m not going to have an orgasm for the rest of the summer? That’s HORRIBLE!”). It’s during these times when I’m desperate for relief that it really, truly hurts me when ML says no. After all, the feeling is real; at that moment, I really do want to be done with being denied. It can be a major downer when it seems like she isn’t acknowledging my feelings for release.

At these times, it’s important for me to remind myself that she is acknowleding these feelings… however, she also knows that I crave the feelings that come with absolute submission to her. If she gave in to my needs before she truly wanted to, yes I would get the instant gratification of orgasm, but it would be tainted by later feelings of guilt.

So yes, there is emotional pain that comes with orgasm denial and chastity… but in my opinion, it’s definintely worth suffering through for the intense sexual connection that both My Lady and I get out of it.

What type of device do you prefer?

My personal favorite is the Jailbird. I like the open-style cages the best, because it just looks better in my opinion. I have nothing against the closed-style devices, but ones like the Revenge are a little too “hardcore” for my liking. They require much more stringent upkeep and cleaning practices. Plus, I really do like the way it looks when my cock bulges against the bars of the JB, like it wants to get out so bad that’s it’s trying to break through the steel. 🙂

Can chastity completely remove a desire or ability to orgasm?

Quite the opposite, I’d say! It’s possible to lose the desire to orgasm while in chastity, but I think that would have to do with a mental/psychological issue rather than the chastity itself. Normally, the longer you are locked up and/or denied, the more intense the need for release gets.

With that said, a man’s orgasm may be weakened slightly from long term orgasm denial. The muscles that contract during orgasm may atrophy after a long time of not being used. This would pass after the muscles are re-strengthened (i.e. after you cum lots and lots). I found that you can reduce this effect by doing kegel exercises on a regular basis.

Can chastity be used to modify someone to orgasm by verbal command?

I don’t think that chastity can be used as behavior modification in that way. I’m guessing the only way to achieve that would be through some sort of hypnosis – which I don’t recommend, only because I have absolutely no experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for fucking up some guy’s mind so they can’t ever cum again unless he hears the word “watermelon.”

Are there health risks to long term chastity?

Other than possible skin irritations from not having a proper fit, or perhaps injury from laying on the cage the wrong way or something like that, I don’t think there are serious health risks to long term chastity. There is some evidence that orgasm denial is related to a slight increase in prostate problems, but there is also contradictory evidence that says the opposite.

Does chastity affect testicle size long term?

I haven’t experienced any increase in testicle size, at least not permanent – (perhaps during a long denial they may feel or seem swollen, but it’s not a lasting effect. What I have experienced, to quite a degree, is some stretching of my scrotum. I’m naturally a “low hanger,” but after wearing a chastity device for so long – and the repeated erection attempts that often come with longer denials – my balls hang a bit lower than they used to. It’s not a major problem; it’s not like I sit on them on accident or that they drop into the toiler water when I use the bathroom or anything like that. But I guess I would consider that a “side effect” of long term chastity.

Thank you again for all of your questions. Please feel free to write and ask us anything!

No Look, No Touch, New Cage

Posted by JonMustWait on July 26, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

ML has decided that she will be using the “no look, no touch” rules for at least the next two weeks whenever I am unlocked. This involves restraining me any time I am out of the cage so that I cannot touch myself, and blindfolding me so that I cannot see my cock. This means that by the time mid-August rolls around, it will be six long weeks since I saw my fully erect cock last. As a little extra mental dig, she has mentioned that she plans to take many pics and vids of my cock as she teases me. She may or may not let me see them, which means that readers of our blog as well as our Twitter followers may see my cock a lot more than I will get to.

This apparently won’t be the first thing our followers know more about than I do. But I’ll get to that soon enough.

ML started tonight off by having me lay on the floor, cuffing my hands above my head around the leg of the side table, and blindfolding me. She then began attending to the task of freeing my cock from its steel prison for the first time in a month. I could feel myself get hard almost instantly after I was unlocked. It felt so wonderful just to be able to get full and hard; the simple things are the most pleasant when you’ve been denied of them for so long. ML began gently cleaning my cock with a wet towel, giving me playful strokes and teases as she cleaned me. I was moaning and rolling on the floor within seconds. Her touch was absolutely incredible. Once I was well cleaned, she applied some lotion to my shaft – “to make sure the skin stays in good condition while it’s locked up,” ML explained. I didn’t give a fuck what excuse she made up, mainly because she was stroking my cock for the first time in weeks. She was edging me with almost no effort at all as I thrusted up into her hand, unable to control my body as my lust and need burned hotter by the moment.

My Lady stopped stroking me abruptly; she needed to give me enough time to get soft so she could get me locked up again. It took quite a while for my erection to subside… apparently, after nearly a month of not being able to get hard, my cock didn’t want to give up on it so quickly! Eventually, my cock softened enough to allow ML to stuff me into the cage.

I felt ML put the cage back on, fighting the rapidly swelling flesh as she got the security screw in place. She took the blindfold off of me and told me to look. I peeked down at my cock, and as sure as I expected, I was locked up again – my first of many missed chances to see myself hard.

“Well?” My Lady asked. I shrugged and was about to tell her that I wished I could have seen myself hard before getting locked up again, but she interrupted me. “Look again,” she said.

I looked down again at my caged cock, same as it was…. only this time, I saw it.
It wasn’t the Jailbird!

I should be more accurate and say “it wasn’t the Jailbird I’m used to wearing,” because it was a Jailbird, except it was different. This one had a second crossbar about midway down the shaft, and the base ring was a double instead of the usual single. My Lady surprised me with a new cage! My Lady explained that this JB was also smalled width-wise, so my cock would have even less room than I’ve been used to in the past. She also hopes that the double ring will help alleviate some of the “pulling away” issues I have when I am extremely aroused while wearing the cage.

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Surprise! Although I suspect most readers/followers aren’t THAT surprised, as ML mentioned that she’s been talking about ordering this new cage on Twitter for a while now, unbeknownst to me. So, screw all of you for hiding it from me.  🙂

As far as the cage goes, comfort-wise… it’s different. It’s not bad or anything, but I can definitely sense a difference between the two models. I can feel that the cage section is narrower, and I think I can feel the double ring when I walk. It doesn’t hurt, but I’m aware of it. It’s not like the old JB, which on occasions I forgot whether or not I was wearing it (I usually was). Adjusting myself is also a slight challenge, as the new crossbar is right where I would normall grab for leverage.

With all of that said, I am the person who can’t continue walking if I have a fuzzy in my sock, so I’m pretty sure I will asjust to the new cage as time passes.

Can’t Hide It Sometimes

Posted by Michele on July 17, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

Yesterday, cagedmonkey got out of the shower and came out into the living room in his tshirt and underwear. While I think it’s super sexy, I had to point out that he needed to be careful. He happened to be wearing a pair of white microfiber boxers and, well, they hug in just the right places!
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I do love catching a glimpse of his cage like that but we also need to be careful of stuff like that so the kids don’t. It’s awesome seeing him locked up, for me.

Random Acts of Orgasm

Posted by JonMustWait on July 3, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

Wednesday afternoon, I was taking a nap in the bedroom, attempting to recover from driving home overnight. ML had slept a little bit when we first got home, so she was on kid duty while I got my sleep in.

That was the plan, until the kids asked if they could play video games, which allowed ML to sneak away to the bedroom for a few moments. 🙂

ML woke me up with a pair of big giant titties in my face. I greedily sucked on her nipples as she grinded her pussy against my hardening cock. A moment later, I was sliding into her wet pussy with ease.

ML slid herself up and down on my body, taking my cock deep inside her with each thrust. As usual, it didn’t take long for me to start getting close to cumming. As usual, I let ML know I was close. Not as usual, ML didn’t slow down; she continued thrusting up against me, and I felt my orgasm approaching very quickly.

I felt ML’s body tense up from her orgasm about one stroke before I reached mine. She continued riding me as we both came, fighting to keep our moans of pleasure as quiet as possible to avoid alerting the children of their parents getting it on in the next room. ML continued to work her cum-filled pussy on my cock to a second, even more intense orgasm. I’m sure she would have screamed if she weren’t holding herself back.

Damn, it was nice to just cum inside her like that. I’m going to have to savor it, since it seems that I will be denied for quite a while this time around. My Lady has already said that she wishes to go for a full month before she even unlocks me, so it’ll be at least that long before my next orgasm. I have considered the possibility that I have already had my last orgasm of 2015. It’s all up to My Lady and her desires.

My Sexy Little Shower Slut

Posted by Michele on June 27, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 comments

As you all know, we have two kids, so we have to get creative with the time we have to spend being kinky. We don’t get much alone time together at all so it’s important to mix it in here or there when we can. A lot of our kinky happens behind the scenes so we don’t alert the kids to daddy’s chastity device or our dirty, kinky playtime.

Cagedmonkey has worked 6 nights this week and we haven’t had a whole lot of time to connect. I’ve used him in the mornings, when tucking him in, for some pretty fantastic orgasms but no real tease and denial time. This evening I decided to have him get in the shower and use that time to give him some tasks and make him take pictures and video for more while completing them. Oh the joys of him having a waterproof phone!

His first task was to uncage and shave that big ol’ cock of mine and then it was time to frustrate the hell out of him. He was then instructed to stroke his cock nice and hard for me.
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I made sure he washed up really good and told him he needed to make sure his ass was also cleaned really good just in case I got in the mood to use it.
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After he was nice and clean I told him to stand there enjoying his shower while he stroked and edged for me… 7 times. That wasn’t all he had to do! That would be about the time I popped in the bathroom and handed him the Aneros and told him I wanted him to get his asshole good and primed for me. I made sure to tell him to not get carried away with the self ass play but to make sure he was prepared in case I got the urge to peg him.
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He alternated between edging and working the Aneros in and out of his ass being sure to send me video too. As he got to the last few edges I told him to edge while he was plugged with the Aneros. I wanted him to feel his ass clench around the smooth plastic as he got closer to cumming.

It really was an incredible amount of fun to tease him, deny him and frustrate him. Once out of the shower cagedmonkey was instructed to lock his cock back up for me in his Jail Bird. I love when we are able to find little ways, like this, to work kink into our everyday lives. It doesn’t take much to keep it fresh, sometimes wee just need to get a little creative about it.

Mail Chastity: One Device (A Follow Up)

Posted by JonMustWait on June 21, 2015
Posted in: Advice, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

A reader named “The Half Heard” wrote the following comment on the last Mail Chastity post:

With the security screw, do you ever experience it making it’s way loose on it’s own? I have that issue occasionally with the Jail Bird and the solution I found was I took the locking screw into the local hardware store, and found I think a 5/32 nut that fit on it nicely. Something along that size anyway!

Now that’s ingenuity for ya! 🙂

To answer your question… yes, the security screw on the JB does come loose. In fact, I know exactly what to do in order to make it finger-loosenable (I won’t describe it here, however, in order to avoid spreading “chastity cheating” tips). In all honesty, it comes in handy when ML wants a quickie with her toy: she sends me off to the bedroom and tells me to unlock and get hard for her so she can ride me. There’s no fumbling for a key, no wasted time, no awkward moments. It also helps when I’m too aroused to get the cage back on before I have to leave for work: I just take the cage to work and put it on during my first bathroom break (and text a pic to My Lady for her pleasure).

Now, some people might start crowing, “That’s not real chastity if you can just loosen the screw and unlock any time you want!” That’s only true if you’re considering “real chastity” as a physical entity only. I feel the mental aspect of it is just as important, perhaps even more so. Even if the post of the JB was welded to the cage, I could still pull out of the device and jack off. I wear this cock cage because it pass My Lady and I crave being under her sexual control, and that’s all that really matters.

With that said… THH has a great idea with the addition of a nut to the security screw (I can’t help but chuckle when I think about the “addition of a nut” to the chastity device). I just wonder if there would be enough counter-torque in order to disengage the screw from the nut. Maybe you’ll need a miniature wrench? Not sure. But, definitely great thinking outside the box!

Baseball with a Side of Tease

Posted by Michele on June 17, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 comments

Sunday was such a great day. We drove down to watch the Mets play the Braves… Boy what an awesome come back by the Mets after that stupid dickwad of a pitcher… Oh wait… I’m getting off track! Anyway, it actually was a good weekend all together. Our daughter turned 10 on Saturday and had her dance recital. She was awesome by the way! Always makes mom tear up. And the weekend ended with an awesome time as a family at the game.
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I do want to mention that I was in no mood to deal with metal detectors at the gate to the stadium so I did have cagedmonkey go sans Jail Bird to the game. However, I don’t think there would have been an issue whatsoever if he did wear it.

After the game we had the long drive back home through NYC traffic and the kids ended up falling asleep in the back seat. Which left me the perfect opportunity to give hubby a good teasing while he was driving 70mph on the thruway. One of my favorite ways to tease him is to stroke, squeeze and fondle his cock in rhythm to whatever song is playing. It was quite a few songs that I made him endure my teasing through. It was awfully fun listening to him try to muffle his moans or cough to cover them up. I loved the times I would hit that sweet spot and the sounds couldn’t help but escape his mouth. It turns me on so much to tease him and make him want me!

It really was a wonderful weekend and I enjoyed very much spending time having fun as a family! Such a needed break from all the stress we’ve been going through.

What’s Next For My Caged Cock?

Posted by JonMustWait on June 9, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

After a nice little period of “casual chastity” as I would call it, My Lady feels as though it is time for us to get back into the more intense schedules that we have gottten used to. Not surprisingly, I agree with her. Although I’ve certainly been horny over the past few weeks, but it doesn’t compare to the intense need I feel when it’s been months since my last orgasm… or, perhaps even weeks since my last erection.

That’s exactly where My Lady plans to start – I’ll be wearing the chastity cage 24/7 for a good amount of time, perhaps as long as July 4th, which is over 3 weeks away. ML also set July 31st as Maybe Day, although I’m pretty sure that will be extended.

As ML and I were talking about me wearing the chastity cage, I realized that we haven’t used the Revenge in quite a while. I was about to suggest that she use the Revenge during my long lockup, but we haven’t had the best results with that in the past, hygeine-wise. So the Revenge will have to wait its turn until after the holiday at the very least.

The Revenge is very useful when we are playing the “no look, no touch” game. ML enjoys the idea of denying me the ability to even see my cock, but the reality of it can become a real chore. Having to cuff me to the bed and blindfold me whenever the cage needs to be removed can eventually feel like a hassle. However, there has been one addition to our toy inventory that might avoid this annoyance: the stockade.

So, obviously, I’ve been fantasizing over the past few days about My Lady locking me in the stockade, removing the Revenge, and calmly going about her business as I struggle just to get a glimpse of my cock. She wouldn’t even need to blindfold me; the locking collar would prevent me from turning my head to see my penis. Of course, if she wanted to blindfold me, she could make it that much worse. Throw in the potential for stroking and edging me while I am harshly restrained, and it gets my heart beating heavy in my chest. She could even force me to watch her to get off inches in front of me as my cock twitches helplessly out of sight and out of reach.

Depending on how things go with some of the recent complications, it still could be a while before My Lady and I can try out a good “no look, no touch” run. If she’s going to deny me well past the end of July, as I suspect she will, then there will be plenty of time as the year goes on for her to mindfuck me.

I Fully Control His Orgasms and Sexual Pleasure

Posted by Michele on May 22, 2015
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 7 comments

The other day, after I allowed cagedmonkey to cum, we had a chat about what I had planned going forward.

It’s amazing to think that we are coming up on 2 years that I’ve been fully controlling hubby’s orgasms and sexual pleasure. Our actual chastity device wearing didn’t begin until October 2013 but it was June of that year that he asked me to take full control. We’ve been into tease and orgasm denial our entire relationship – that’s over 15 years! – but never to the extent that we are now. It was much shorter before, hours, days and the longest we had ever give over the years was a month. Now we hardly blink if I’ve kept him denied of orgasm for 3 months.

This last period of denial (which was actually 106 days, I think) was the longest I’ve had him denied. Getting to 3 months was actually pretty easy once it got there though it was almost excruciating for me to go the next two weeks or so that I made it. I was aching to feel him cum inside me. To feel his body shudder as he had that first orgasm after being denied so long. I truly missed how it felt to have that with him. It’s one thing to have sex or make love and not have him explode into me and it’s completely another to share that amazing feeling as we are cumming together in the high of sexual pleasure.

So, I told cagedmonkey that I wanted to take a break. For a second he looked at me, very sad, thinking I wanted to stop chastity and orgasm denial altogether. That wasn’t it at all! I comforted my confused boy and explained that I wanted a break from “Maybe day” and from pushing him and myself to go longer and longer in his denial. This decision had nothing at all to do with his chastity. As a matter of fact, I love that and he will be without his device very rarely for probably the rest of our lives. 🙂

I don’t know if cagedmonkey is still confused about what I mean but I have had to explain a couple times. What I want is to control his orgasms, which I already do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have him out of his cage, fucking him every day, making him cum. It means I’m going to decide moment to moment if I want that or if I want to deny him. I could literally not feel it one minute and yet another be like, “oh fuck baby cum in me!” I guess it might depend on how physically turned on I am, how emotionally turned on I am our how deliciously evil I’m feeling.

That’s really where I’m at right now. I don’t want to have to deny him, I don’t want to have to make him cum. I want to just control it moment to moment and if I feel like denying him for a week or 3, so be it. I just don’t want the set periods of time right now. I need a break from constantly pushing further and further.

I think this will ultimately be fun but also I think it’s already a bit frustrating for him. Like I said I’m not sure if he thought taking a break from denial meant that he’d cum every time we had sex or that HE’D get to choose when. That’s not it at all, I’m not handing him back control of his sexual pleasure at all. I’m just liberating myself from set periods of time that I have to try to do or fear disappointing him or myself because I didn’t make it to the time frame I was hoping.

I’m going to enjoy this and, when will we set a time again? I have no idea but I’m sure it won’t be too long because I do love that build up of horny while getting that denial going, trust me! 🙂

105

Posted by JonMustWait on May 19, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

One of the most important rules that My Lady and I follow is the concept of “Maybe Day.” We usually set a target date for my next orgasm, but ML is under no obligation to allow my next orgasm to occur on that day. She can make me wait longer if she desires, or have me cum earlier if she wishes. Basically, every day is a Maybe Day. What’s important is that ML is in charge and she gets what she wants.

This weekend, My Lady wanted to give me an orgasm. After 105 days of being teased, made to wait while my wife enjoyed orgasm after orgasm, it was finally my turn on Saturday night.

I had the feeling that this moment was sneaking closer and closer. My Lady had been making comments for about two weeks about how good it would feel for me to cum and how badly she wanted to feel it. With three months of denial in the rearview mirror, I was in no condition to argue with her. Then, last week she mentioned how she might let me cum over the weekend. I was excited (of course!!!), but I did my best to not get my hopes up too much. After all, ML truly an expert in mindfuckery, and this could have been a ploy to make me that much more crazy horny.

Contrary to what you would have expected, there was not a big deal made out of it. There wasn’t a hot scene prepared with bondage and teasing and all that, we were both craving the simple closeness of being with each other. ML instructed me to remove my cage and we began having sex. Just like the many times before, I was close to orgasm before even a minute passed. Slowing my pace, I held on for a little while, thrusting my hard cock into tight wetness. I looked into her eyes and I told her that I needed to stop.

“Wait,” she told me, and patted the bed next to her. “Lay behind me, I wanna spoon with you for a little.”

I laid beside her on the bed and cuddled up behind her as I felt her hand guiding my cock into her pussy again. It’s such a different feeling, entering her from behind. It gets to me so much quicker. I only had enough time to slide my hand up from her hip to cup her tit before I felt my orgasm rushing towards me.

“Please can I cum?” I whispered in her ear. She paused for just a moment, then let out a soft moan.

“Yes,” she answered, “do it.”

I didn’t expect it to happen so fast; I thought maybe I would have another few thrusts before I came. But almost exactly when she said yes, I felt my entire body shudder as I had my first orgasm in over one hundred days.

My body shook and I squeezed her titty hard as my hand clenched involuntarily, but my hips kept thrusting my cock into her pussy, filling her with long stored load of cum. After a few moments, I could feel my cock get really sensitive, especially the head as it parted her pussy lips and drove deeper inside her. The sensitivity was almost too much to handle, but I couldn’t stop thrusting, nor did I want to. It felt just too damn good to stop.

Instead of stopping, I started to laugh. It felt like the most natural thing to do; everything just felt so good at that moment, that was the only thing I could do. Even when I was finished with my orgasm, I was laughing softly as noticed my body was as tight against ML’s body as it could be. Afterwards, I found out that she too had an orgasm, triggered mostly from the intensity of the situation and feeling my reaction to what was happening. I was happy to hear that, only because I couldn’t really control much of what I was doing once I started cumming.

We made love once again in the early morning, before the kids woke up, and ML allowed me to have an orgasm once again. This time I was a little more under control, and was able to enjoy the feeling of her pussy squeezing me as she came herself. We haven’t had sex since, because of events with the children or due to me being caged – the steel tends to be quite the deterrent when it comes to PIV sex, but sometimes the children can be even more effective!

So now the big question that is probably on your mind – and is CERTAINLY on my mind – is how long am I going to be waiting this time around? Well, it’s probably not going to be anywhere near as long as my last few stints: My Lady has already mentioned that we may take a break from the denial portion of our play for a bit.

Now don’t get worried like I did when I first heard this! I thought she meant she wanted a break from everything we have been doing. Not so, she explained. She just wants a break from doing things long term. She may tease me from day to day, and make me wait a few days here or there, but she misses being able to have me whenever she wants and not be holding off for a certain amount of time. And she DEFINITELY wants to keep up the chastity! I completely understand what she is feeling, and I agree. I miss not having to stop less than a minute into sex day after day. I have a feeling I’m still going to be kept extremely horny by ML’s sexiness and nonstop teasing. I’ll just be getting my pleasure a little earlier than I’ve grown accustomed to. And when we are ready for another long term go at it, we will know it. We are having waaaaaaaaay too much fun to stop what we’re doing now!

So don’t get TOO jealous when you read about me having orgasm after orgasm. After 105 days of denial, I’ve think I’ve earned a little bragging rights!!!  😉