feedback

All posts tagged feedback

We got some awesome feedback today about the podcast and a couple questions, as well, that I figured I’d take a moment to answer. We always appreciate when our readers or listeners give us feedback or just want to write and say, “Hi!” Don’t be shy! 🙂

Love it! The punishment /funishment thing to me is one of countless blurred outlines of that classic BDSM conundrum… if I want to be punished then how can it be a punishment? In my head, it still can be – especially (to your point) if you know your partner and love them enough to exploit that knowledge.

Love getting feedback like this. This is why we love having the conversations we do on our podcast. Having a relationship, kinky, vanilla or whatever really does come down to communication and knowing your partner. Amazing things can happen when you know, just as this gentleman states, how to exploit the knowledge!
I confess that I’ve only listened to a couple podcasts now (just found you guys on Friday), so I apologize if you’ve gone over all of this stuff many times before, but man I have so many questions 😛 Feel free to ignore them…
That’s ok… some times answering things again is a good thing for someone who is new around here. We have answered these before here in the blog and possibly on the podcast but I don’t mind answering them again.
Do you still control / keep other guys in chastity besides caged M? If so, how many? How do you find the time and energy to keep up with that?
I no longer have “subs on the side” and there are two reasons for this. A) I tend to be a bit too intense for most people and they end up not handling being dominated by me very well. The whole fantasy vs reality thing… I make things very real and the intensity of the reality becomes too overwhelming. When I have subs I put my whole self into it and when boys get overwhelmed by me I tend to get myself hurt in the process. And then, B) well like you mentioned, time. I just don’t have it anymore. When I was a stay at home mom I had a lot more time to spend focusing on kinky things. Now I work outside the home, have to take care of my home, kids and they are very active kids and we are involved parents… It leaves very little time for extracurricular activities.
I remember hearing caged M adamantly defining a limit about physically playing with other people, but that you guys might role play with the idea from time to time. How does that generally look for y’all?
There is a really great post here on the blog about Pseudo-cuckolding that you may find helpful in regards to this question. We do not play outside our marriage… At least not with men. We have talked in the past couple years about me having an Alpha sub female to play with but so far we haven’t found anyone that fits.

For me, chastity is inextricably linked with cuckolding, but the reality of that fantasy carries potentially damaging emotional remnants… I’m so curious on how you guys feel about that and if the implication exists in some form within your D/s dynamic.

We have seen how a lot of times people automatically think chastity = cuckolding but we try hard to get across that that’s not necessarily true. That chastity is not specifically one thing or another. It doesn’t have to be this or that. Just because someone is in chastity does not mean the partner goes out fucking other people. Chastity is exactly what the couple wants it to be. It certainly CAN be all those things or none of them. It’s up to the couple to decide what chastity is for them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story so openly and responding : ) I fucking love the internet.
Thank you, so much, for the great feedback and the questions. Hopefully I’ve successfully answered them but please feel free to ask whatever else you want to ask! 🙂 and yeah the internet is pretty awesome!

So I just want to write that just as important as it is for us as women to get feedback that the boys like what we are doing, they need that same feedback from us. They need to know we are proud of them for being locked for us, for enduring our teasing etc. They also need to know if they are pleasing us with their behavior or sexual acts. How will they know to continue something I’d they don’t know ere loving it?

I find that having a submissive husband or even being dominant to a submissive man is just like parenting. I’m not saying our men are childish (though some sure can be at times) I just mean they respond well to techniques parents use with children. It’s just like you would treat a kid when you “catch them doing something good” to reinforce the behavior. So it’s important to say things like “it really pleases me when…” or “you’re doing such a good job with…” or “I really love how you are handling…” and even “Wow! What a great job doing…..” adding to any of those some hint at a reward is huge too. Saying something like “it really pleases me when you take out the garbage without asking… I might have to unlock you and tease you later!” No, you didn’t just lock yourself in and you don’t have to let him out but the thought that you might is motivation. It’s interesting how it works.

Praising and reassuring our submissives builds their confidence and keeps them pleasing us and striving for more of those compliments and possible rewards. It might be all about us Ladies (or dominants) sexually but it is about both of us emotionally. This is why I say communication is so huge. The feedback, both ways, keeps the relationship going.

Have you praised your locked boy today?