orgasm denial

All posts tagged orgasm denial

Why Would Anyone Want Their Dick in a Cage?

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 18, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I used to feel the same way.

There was a time when I was younger that my main kink was tease & orgasm denial. I was very turned on by the idea of being brought to the edge of orgasm over and over, but not be allowed to cum – for hours or even days at a time. Bondage, of course, came along with this as well, reinforcing the idea that I was dependent on the woman teasing me to give me an orgasm when she desired.

While indulging in my fantasies by reading stories and such, I would frequently come across the subject of male chastity. I didn’t quite get it. “I want to be teased, not left alone and ignored!” was my thought process. I wanted the woman to play with me, drive me crazy, and make me beg to cum. How was that supposed to happen with my cock locked away in a contraption that kept it from being touched?

I’m not sure when the tide began to turn, but the sense of control started to fascinate me. My OD fetish was basically a control fetish – giving up control of my orgasm to someone else. Male chastity had the same principles, only more so – not only would my orgasm be under control of someone else, but also my ability to touch myself, even the ability to simply get hard would be taken from me. And isn’t male chastity just a more personal, more intense, constant form of bondage?

THAT was when it really clicked for me.

I could not fathom what that must feel like – to be crazy horny and turned on, and yet not be able to do anything about it. Forget having an orgasm, even having an erection is not possible when in chastity. Could I handle it? Could I go weeks without an erection? Months?

And I will tell you this…. the feeling is even more mind blowing that I thought it could be.

I am still amazed and thrilled by the amount of power My Lady has over my sexuality. I only get hard when and if she allows it. I only get to feel the soft walls of her warm, wet pussy when she desires it. I only get to cum when she wants me to. And there is nothing I can do about it, besides beg and plead and accept her answer. Meanwhile, she gets to cum whenever and however she demands.

There are days I still look down and see the cage locked onto me, and I think, “Jesus, this is fucking CRAZY!” But, honestly, there is no other way I would rather have it. Ironically, her control over me gives me the freedom to focus on pleasing her. I know that if and when I’m allowed to fuck ML and cum deep inside her, I will have earned it through my devotion to her.

My Favorite Kind of Orgasm

Posted by Lady M on December 12, 2013
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex. Tagged: , , , , . 8 comments

I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about my favorite orgasms – to give to cagedmonkey! For the purposes of this post I’m going to refer to two types of male orgasm, the full orgasm and the ruined orgasm.

I’m sure I don’t need to describe a full orgasm to anyone. You boys have likely had plenty of them… before chastity and orgasm denial that is! You all know this is the full spasm having enjoyable spurting cum orgasm. Even though it’s not necessary to expel cum by the way! You can have a full orgasm, spasms and all but not release any cum.

Now on to the ruined orgasm, which I’m sure you can figure out. Basically it is bringing your guy to the edge and juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust getting him to the point where he will drop of the other side and completely stopping all stimulation. Usually, if you get it just right, cum will ooze out but there will be no pleasurable spasms.

Now the ruined orgasm is my favorite one to give hubby since it leaves him still frustrated and horny. However, my absolute favorite ruined orgasm is giving him one while he is still in his cage. I just love that he is so horny, so turned on, so ready to explode at any minute that I can simply stimulate him through the bars in his cage and get him to have a half sorta kinda orgasm. The look on his face and the way his body moves and the moans that come out of him are wonderful and the just make me giggle! 🙂

He Said, She Said – Milking the Prostate

Posted by Lady M on December 11, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

(In this post, Lady and cagedmonkey tandem post on the same subject. These are not conversations, per se, simply viewpoints from the female and male perspective.)

Lady: Cagedmonkey has been denied orgasm for a couple of weeks now so I thought it might be fun to milk him. I haven’t ever milked him properly with an internal prostate massage so it was my mission to get it done! I have milked him a little bit with an external massage before but it wasn’t anything to write home about.

The other night I cuffed my boy to the coffee table on his belly. I got out the bottle of lube and the anal-t vibrating prostate massager. Since I really had no idea what I was doing, specifically, I played around a bit with angle and depth and that sort of thing. So with one hand I was adjusting the massager and the other I used to massage and push on his perineum so his prostate got as much stimulation as possible. At times I could tell I was hitting something just right because he would let out a pretty good moan. I did this for about 45 mins and while he was dripping precum pretty well I wasn’t getting that good amount of fluid that I wanted and have heard so much about!

That’s when, with the massager against the palm of one hand, I pushed up on his perineum with my fingers of the same hand and grabbed his cock and stroked a little with my other hand. I only stroked a few times (medium speed) and he only spasmed once and out came a huge squirt of what looked like milky water! Then of course I had to do it again so I stroked him another couple times and he dripped out a few more big drops of the milky fluid. Oh, not to mention, the very loud moan each time as well. I know he didn’t orgasm, he lacked the spasms for that and what came out was not thick like cum usually is. It really was just a thin milky colored, water-like fluid. It was hard to even show him how much after since it just made the towel wet.

It was a pretty neat experience but can be discouraging when it takes so long. I bet if we do it more and hubby is able to relax a bit more it can happen faster. I guess we’ll just have to practice more! 🙂

cagedmonkey: I will admit, the idea of being milked by My Lady is very exciting. The possibility of her extracting the cum from my full swollen balls without allowing me the pleasure of a full orgasm involves a level of control that is off the charts. And to be honest, I want to be controlled like that.

ML has attempted to milk me in the past, with varying degrees of success; most of these attempts resulted in either a ruined or minimized orgasm. This was probably her most successful go at it. ML had me strapped down and unable to resist, and she used my helplessness to her advantage by taking her time and being patient.

ML has learned how to use the prostate massager very well. She was hitting all of the right spots; I was feeling flash after flash of pressure overload sensations, the signal that my milking was imminent. It was a little difficult for me to relax and let go because I was afraid I might end up peeing, but I think if she had continued with stimulating those sensitive spots I wouldn’t have been able to hold back any more.

After who knows how much time I spent on strapped to the table, my ass being penetrated and my prostate massaged, throat hoarse from near-constant moaning, ML began to stroke the cock in rhythm with her thrusting. I got closer and closer to orgasm until just at the last moment she stopped her stroking…. and I felt the “cum” shoot out from me! I could feel soft spasming in both my cock and asshole; I wasn’t quite sure if I had cum at first. But afterwards – when I was still horny and wanting to cum – it was obvious that I hadn’t. Some of the building pressure in my balls was relieved, but the need to cum was still there.

I’m not sure if we accomplished the classic definition of “milking,” but whatever we ended up doing was pretty intense! Overall, it was fun and something I am definitely interested in trying again!

How Time Flies

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 7, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 5 comments

I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m starting to get used to wearing the cage for extended periods of time.

This week in particular has flown by pretty quickly. Both My Lady and I have been slightly preoccupied with RL things, but I still can’t deny that wearing the cage is starting to feel normal. I’ve been in the BC since Tuesday, and I swear it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still as horny as hell. What I mean is that I’m not sitting around thinking about how long the cage has been on because it feels like it’s been a long time. It’s just another part of my life now.

Obviously, getting more comfortable wearing the cage for extended periods is a good thing…. in theory. In practice? It could end up being bad for me, at least for my sanity. If ML decides that, due to my newfound comfort in extended lockup periods, that she wants to push me even further than before and take a step up in scale from weeks to months… will I be able to handle that?

Will I even have a choice???

Locked vs. Unlocked: The Great Debate

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 4, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Last weekend, My Lady allowed me to spend some time unlocked after getting a surprising orgasm on Friday night. It was a semi-honeymoon of sorts, our first one since starting this chastity lifestyle. It was very nice to have the ability to be free with my sexuality. I began to think that although being locked and being unlocked are two different situations (and honeymoon being a third completely opposite one), each situation has its own reasons for being enjoyable.

I enjoy being locked by ML mainly because of the feelings I get when I am controlled by her. The lock on my cage gives me no option but to bend to her wishes and to serve her desires. The fact that she chooses to keep me locked and to hold this control over me makes me feel valued, as if I am a prized possession of hers. She keeps me safe and secure so only she may play with me when she wishes. I also get a feeling of safety and security when locked, knowing and trusting that she will only use me in ways that please her. It may not be the best thing to satisfy my wants and needs, but because of the decision I’ve made to put ML before me, it is exactly what I want.

Being unlocked is a little different. And let me be clear – by “unlocked” I mean not kept in a device, but still under the sexual control of My Lady. For example, yesterday I was released from my cage and ML spent the day forcing erections on me, riding her cock when she saw fit, denying me orgasm all day long, and eventually giving me TWO back-to-back ruined orgasms before putting me back in my cage. At no time was ML not in control. I was unlocked, but still every bit the sub that I am when wearing my cage.

Anyway, as I was saying… being unlocked is different. The feelings of excitement come from different places. While I feel valued and treasured like a prized collectible when locked, I feel wanted and desired when unlocked, like ML’s well-worn favorite toy. And while being caged gives me a sense of security, being free gives me the exciting feeling of uncertainty, that anything can happen at any given moment (and often does). Sometimes the worst teases happen when I’m not in my cage, simply because ML can bring me so close to the orgasm I so desperately crave and desire, yet I have no idea when these moments may come and I have no way to prepare for or recover from them.

Even though I am thoroughly enjoying our lifestyle of enforced male chastity, I still do look forward to our honeymoon periods. It’s not that I don’t want to be controlled. It’s just nice to know that we can still be normal after being so kinky. It almost seems as if things have reversed – most couples use kink to spice up their sex lives and prevent things from getting boring, while we use our vanilla honeymoon time to do the same. Which is perfectly fine by me… I’m loving this “new normal” every exciting step of the way!

Keyholder Epiphany

Posted by Lady M on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 3 comments

Epiphany: a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple

It sounds weird to say this but it feels almost as if a weight has been lifted from me. After our conversation last night I got to thinking about what I really wanted and how I wanted to play with hubby. After all, he gave me the beautiful gift of regaining my natural dominance, so I’m in charge.

So what do I want from the chastity? Well, easy, I want the device on at all times unless I unlock him for play time, tease time or for my using. It’s my toy locked up in my toy box. 🙂 *giggle*

So, what about the Tease & Denial? Well in all my pondering last night, I realized what I want is not called “Orgasm Denial.” It’s called “Orgasm Control” because I want to be in control of if he cums, when he cums, how he cums and how much he cums! If I feel like spending an entire day using him over and over to drain every bit of cum from him then so be it. I unlock him, use him and lock him back up. If I want to deny him for 40 days for the fun of it then so be it! If I want some mix of the two, I can have it. If I change my mind in the middle of it all, I can! 🙂

I’ve finally got my brain on board knowing that all of these things are my decision. No more feeling like I promised to lock him up for a length of time and not wanting to disappoint him or upset him or “do it wrong” or not the way he wants it. I’m in control, I hold the power to use him for my pleasure in whatever way I choose. I hold the power to allow him an erection or force him to have one all day, if I want! I hold the power to deny him orgasms for as long as I feel like having him behaving in an awesome attentive way towards me. If I feel like asserting my dominance and taking him as mine every night for a week, I hold that power.

I hold all the power when it comes to his sexual feelings, sensations and releases. The one part I want to explore more in our relationship is the Wife Led part. I’m curious about what it would feel like to be completely in control of everything he does. I don’t want this all the time because I’m not into having a slave but I think once in awhile having a very submissive session of play would be fun. I have no idea as I’ve never done it, never been overpowering dominant and/or demanding but maybe I want to see what it’s like! We were talking the other day and he mentioned scrubbing the kitchen floor naked while I supervised (probably half joking, I’m sure lol). At that moment something happened to me I was not expecting… I suddenly got extremely aroused at the thought of him serving me that way. Though at the same time my head was like wtf that’s so wrong! Cagedmonkey and I have said that it can never hurt to try something… we might like it. He’s not all into serving that way (not into being a slave nor do I want one) but he’s not against the session happening once in awhile if it is something we both enjoy. So we’re off to try new things once again and explore what feels good!

Ok so that was my epiphany overnight… see what happens when you stay up until after 4am!

Wish me luck! 🙂

Conversations in Chastity: Getting Serious

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

cagedmonkey: We’ve found out so much about this lifestyle in such a short time. It really is amazing!!

Lady: It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure… but I’ve realized some things since our last go at your orgasm denial.

cm: What things, exactly?

Lady: Well, after this last time having you completely locked and even denying myself I kinda feel like I’ve tested out all that I need in this. I really just want to get on with it. I don’t want to set dates of when you will be locked or unlocked trying to reach some imaginary goal. I’m not going to worry about “oh I shouldn’t unlock him because I said 10 days in!” I’m going to do what I want, when I want, how I want but you will not orgasm… you will please me and I will use you to please myself but you will wait until you have permission to cum. I will see my cock hard & play with it when I want though. All other times you will be locked in your device.

cm: I was actually thinking the exact same thing! We’ve proven that I can safely wear the cage pretty much indefinitely without problems – indefinitely meaning however long you want, not forever (I hope!!!). We have also seen that I’m able to be trusted not to cum when I’m out of the cage, even when giving you the penetration that you crave. The only thing that I’m concerned about is the strength of your resolve. Will you be able to deny me even when I’m seriously trying my hardest to convince you to let me cum?

Lady: I’m pretty sure the denial part will be a piece of cake! The hardest part for me was feeling like I had to keep you locked up to enforce the denial. That’s not true so it should be easy enough, when I’m getting what I need and want, to keep you all crazy. You know I absolutely love when you’ve been reduced to a heaping, begging, desperate mess! Oh boy, it turns me on so much! Are you here with me in my desire to take more control over how I want to use the cage? This starting out thing has been not only about me but lots of worrying about you and what you feel or think and some caving to what I think you want. I’m ready for that to be over.

cm: I’m ready, too. I want it all to be you decision. If you want to tease me until I’m crying out for you to stop every night for a week, then so be it. If you want to keep me locked up constantly for three or even four weeks straight (or more!!!), then please do it. There will be times where I want it to end, where I just want out, or I just want to FUCKING CUM GOD DAMMIT. But what I truly want is to cum only when I’m allowed by you, my Keyholder.

Lady: Awww now that’s the perfect answer from my perfect boy! <3

I Have the Best Keyholder in the World!

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 30, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Sorry to all you other guys, but it’s true. My wife is the absolute BEST keyholder in the world.

For me, at least.  🙂

It takes a certain kind of relationship to make this chastity thing work. My wife and I have been through a lot, but nothing would have been able to prepare us for this if we didn’t fully trust each other. When we are fully open and honest with each other, we often find that we are not only on the same page or even paragraph – we are on the same freaking word!

I think back to when we were writing out our chastity agreement. Even though I was giving My Lady complete control over sexual abilities (including the ability to orgasm or even simply getting a hardon), I knew there were some neighborhoods and areas I’d rather not explore. I was struggling with how to explain this oxymoron of a situation – “I want you to do whatever you want, but not if what you want is one of these things” – I was kind of worried it wouldn’t come out right. What a pleasant surprise it was when I found out that ML was not interested in those same things! Writing up our agreement went so much easier than I expected, and we were both more than happy to sign it.

My keyholder knows just how to play me. She knows where all of my buttons are and she presses them often. She knows that a subtle change in posture can flip the switch in my brain and instantly have me wanting to kiss and lick her body all over. And when my brain is stuck on sex, she knows how to push me and push me until my chest is tight and I can’t breathe. And when she gets me alone…. well, from her previous post, it’s obvious she can turn me into a quivering, whimpering puddle of frustration and need pretty much any time she wants.

And that’s what I need. I need a keyholder who will use me for her pleasure and amusement. A keyholder who won’t take my requests or pleads into account when deciding what she does. A keyholder who expects me to worship her mind and body every moment of every day.

Nobody else could do this for me but My Lady.

Teasing Him to Tears

Posted by Lady M on November 29, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , . 5 comments

I know I’m always trying to find that new unique way to tease cagedmonkey. I’m constantly worried about becoming a predictable, boring wife and Keyholder. I also know I’m not the only one since I’m asked quite often from other wives and Keyholders about how to keep things interesting. When you search online looking for tease ideas you never get actual descriptions of how to tease your guy but rather a very vague “if you know what they like, do that!” It’s one thing to know what they like and another thing altogether to try something they MIGHT like. Personally, I’d love to know some great trigger words or actual descriptions of what a regular couple does. We’re not all hardcore into BDSM so the tying up and spanking, humiliation or feminization is just not our thing. I guess you could call a lot of what we do: Vanilla Tease & Denial. 🙂

So I decided I would describe one of our prolonged, pretty intense tease sessions where cagedmonkey had tears in his eyes. Prolonged edging could be considered a bit of torture, I suppose… then again, when I make him read this post those feelings will come rushing back, so those sessions can linger! Hopefully here I will accomplish two things: 1. I’ll help give other Keyholders a specific idea to tease which they can use in full or part or change up as they please and 2. I’ll end up teasing the hell out of any of you chaste boys reading our blog and make you press against the confines of your cage. Really that will be helping your Keyholder as well because it’s one less time she will have to tease you! 🙂

So cagedmonkey and I have only a couple nights a week where we get to actually play for an extended amount of time. Most nights we only have like an hour once the kids go to bed and he has to leave for work. So this particular night we decided to go upstairs to watch a movie on Netflix while I had him unlocked and I would play around a little but he knew he would not be cumming. We decided on a movie and got it started, that’s when I told him to check the length, it was a 2 hour and 9 minute movie. That’s also when explained that I would be teasing him non-stop through the entire movie. That he would spend a good portion of that two hours on the edge of orgasm. The movies opening credits started and so did I. I started with just some regular moderately paced stroking. This didn’t take too long to get him right up there to the edge of orgasm and then once the moaning and slight hip action starts on his part I slowed down my strokes to just keep him there, hanging on. I did this for quite awhile, non-stop, leaving him linger on the edge for all that time. I love how his breathing gets faster and shorter and he sometimes grunts and moans at the frustration. I know he’s loving it just as much as me though. Once I had done that for a good half hour (you really don’t have to if you don’t have the arm stamina – a mix between your hand and a vibrator would work too, ladies!) he’d gotten plenty of precum built up and it started to pour out in gobs. Precum makes for great lube on the penis head! So I took advantage of that and took my left hand near the base of his shaft and pulled down on the skin of his penis until it was tight and held my hand flat against his pelvic bone and with my right hand I made an “ok sign” with the thumb and forefinger and stroked the head of his cock over and over and over. When using this technique be sure most of your stroking stays around the head. If it got too dry I’d grab a handful of shaft and drag it upward so another big drip of precum would come out for lube. I also found this fantastic new way to tease the head of the cock during this! I opened my palm and kinda made a small cupped shape so the top side (stomach side) of the glans was in the cupped part. Making sure to have it lubed well with precum I just moved my hand up and down just pushing the head of the penis in and out of that tiny cupped spot in my hand. He was bucking like crazy when I did that! I continued this for a good half an hour as well and I did throw a few strokes in here or there to keep it interesting. After that I did go back to stroking a bit but this time I added a ball massage to it… so stroking, head stroking (while pulling the shaft skin tight) and the ball massage just about four the next half an hour. Just a few minutes on each thing bringing him to the edge each time. The last half an hour I made sure to add my mouth into the mix. By this time he’s extremely sensitive so anything I’m doing is causing him to moan and groan and whimper. He knows better than to beg me to stop because nothing I’m doing is causing him pain or giving him reason to beg for relief. He just takes every ounce I have to give.

So that’s the physical part of the tease – yes arm stamina is crucial if you plan to do these things manually but a vibrator, masturbator and other toys are also a huge help. Another thing you can obviously do, if you have a wriggle worm like I do, is to tie your guys arms and legs spread eagle. That I will do if I know for sure he can’t truly handle what I’m going to give him… or if he’s feeling quite horny that I don’t think he’ll be able to keep his hands to himself. During this particular night it was about a half an hour or so into teasing him when I had to pause and tie his ass down! :)~

Now the other part to all this, ladies, is screwing with your guy mentally and emotionally. This is probably the more important part. If you’re not a big talker, trust me, when I say, that after a few times you will get better and better at “mindfucking” your guy, especially once you hear the reaction you get from doing it! This is where knowing his fantasies (or even common male fantasies) is a huge help. It’s not that hard to get started talking dirty during your tease session. The easiest way to get started is to literally describe what your doing and be sure to ask questions… even if they are rhetorical. Using phrases like “aww poor baby” or “that’s too bad” and even “I bet it feels that way.” Say things like “you love it when I stroke that cock all nice and fast, don’t you?”, “Ooo baby, how about if… I… Go… So… Sloooooooow?” It just takes that much and, of course, you can’t forget to throw in “I bet you’d love to feel my tight wet pussy wrapped around that cock cumming hard all over it” and even more importantly bringing up how long you’ve been teasing him and how much longer he still has to endure it. Not to mention talking how long it’s been since he came or how long it’s going to be until he gets to cum. Another thing that usually drives our guys crazy is us masturbating in front of them, making them watch. They want to be the ones pleasing us and we even have the power to take that away. They get to feel those jealous feelings seeing us do what they can’t do while locked up and denied. Reminding them how they can’t touch themselves, get an erection or even cum without your permission. These things all play right into the mindfucking.

One of the things I’m noticing with the chaste boy is that they love us being in control and being confident in that control. Like from across the room showing them our naked breasts, grabbing them, squeezing them together and giving them that “this is no accident, I know exactly what this is doing to you” look. It’s that kind of arrogant, sassy attitude that really gets them!

Hopefully somewhere in the length of this post you’ve found some information to help you! I always welcome questions so feel free to use the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you!