My mind is ultra-creative. I get TONS of ideas. And, being the incredibly horny guy that I am, I have lots of sexual fantasies.
Part of the chastity agreement that My Lady and I developed involves the requirement that I share all of my sexual fantasies with her. A problem arises, however, because a lot of my current fantasies involve ways that ML would dominate/tease/deny me. How am I supposed to explain these desires of mine without making ML feel obligated to fulfill them?
The dreaded “Topping From the Bottom” dilemma.
I used to be very concerned that my fantasies and ideas would influence ML’s dominating behaviors. And with good reason, apparently: ML has confessed to me that early in our chastity adventures, she would sometimes alter her plans for me based on what she thought I wanted or what she thought I could handle. This is the opposite of what makes chastity so exciting for me. Although I would like her to tease me in certain ways, the best thing would be for her to do what she wishes, without concern for my desires.
But still… those ideas… 🙂
We’ve since figured it a way for me to share my fantasies without me influencing what ML does. Now I tell her about my fantasies with absolutely no expectations of them being fulfilled, and she sees these fantasies as options she can choose from or ignore as she chooses. It’s just like a menu at a restaurant: the menu gives you a list of the dishes available, but you don’t have to eat them all. You can choose the one that suits your appetite the most.
Earlier today, ML and I were discussing possible plans for the next year and a half or so of our chastity play, even tossing around ideas as to which devices I would wear at which times, etc. I could tell ML was enjoying the ideas – her pussy was SOPPING wet afterwards – but I also know that none of it is set in stone. My Lady’s appetite can change daily and she is totally in charge of my chastity. My ideas could make it more exciting for the both of us, but she is always in complete control.
Neither of us would have it any other way.
Try a contract with input from both of you though she will have to ultimately agree to it and so will you. Then the expectations are there along with the punishments.
Right, an agreement or contract is a fantastic way to get communication going. We’ve had a contract since the very beginning of this journey.
I keep saying ion going to get a link to the template up on the blog and I really should especially with a post like this! 🙂
As soon as ours is finally completed it will be up on ours. Then each year it should be reviewed and adjusted as needed. A clause to have her adjust as needed on rules only can be added it’s only a meter of you two agreeing and accepting what you both want unless you want to lose control. 🙂
I can elaborate further in an email when I get home