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Officiating a Kinky Wedding

Posted by Lady M on November 23, 2016
Posted in: FemDom, Marriage, Spanking, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 4 comments

A couple of weeks ago cagedmonkey and I had the pleasure of being part of and officiating a kinky wedding for a couple of our best friends. It was a very small home ceremony but do you really need more than just a few people to witness such an amazing thing between two people? We loved every minute of being part of this with them. Our evening started off with dinner and just your everyday hanging out while a couple friends arrived and we got the kids to bed. This beautiful ceremony was celebrated by our Mistress and slave couple, cagedmonkey and I and another Domme and her sub husband. We all had a few drinks but not too much that we were sloshed! At about midnight or so – just to make sure the kids were good and asleep! – our lovely couple went to get dressed in their ceremony clothing. Mistress was dressed in a lovely red lace baby doll style top and her slave bride wearing a beautiful white wedding dress, with “Bride” panties and some gorgeous heels. He was put together by the Domme friend who helped with his make up, did his hair and got his tiara in place – we wouldn’t want his Mistress to see the bride before the wedding, would we? Before we began cagedmonkey and the sub husband were told to remove their clothes and us ladies stayed dressed. The ceremony began with the couple standing facing each other while cagedmonkey addressed them and there is no way that I can describe the heartfelt and very funny words he used, so I decided to just copy and paste the bulk of his words here in this post. I’ve obviously took the names out of it and replaced them with “Mistress” and “slave.” 🙂

We gather here today to celebrate the joining of “Mistress” and “slave” in kinky matrimony. The love and sexual connection that these two share is something that should be cherished in today’s world, where “kinky” is no longer specific enough.The fact that a man who enjoys being dominated and feminized can find a woman who desires her very own she-male slut bride is a true blessing in this life.

It is a slave’s mission to show devotion to his mistress, and to serve her from head to toe. It is a slave’s mission to make his mistress feel beautiful from head to toe, and to service all of her needs at a moment’s notice no matter what the situation. In order to show his commitment and devotion, “slave” will now worship the feet of “Mistress” until she feels truly adored and satisfied.

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A slave must give himself fully to his mistress. He must sacrifice himself for the sake of his mistress’s desires, no matter how painful or difficult that sacrifice must be. As a gift for his new mistress, “slave” will now present himself to “Mistress” for a full and thorough spanking.

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The responsibilities in a D/s relationship do not lie with the submissive alone; the dominant must control the submissive in an appropriate way. A mistress must keep her slave, hold him as her own, and control him in a way that the slave ultimately needs. To show her willingness to control in this way, “Mistress” will now plug “slave’s” ass and take her control over him to a “deeper” level.

And now, it is time for the exchanging of vows:

“slave” – Do you promise to give yourself to “Mistress”, to dress as her slutty she-male bride whenever she wants, to subject yourself to every filthy desire she may have, to serve her needs in any way she requires, for as long as you both shall live?

“Mistress” – Do you promise to take “Slave” as your personal love slave, to use him sexually in ways even he cannot imagine, to force him to wear slutty woman’s clothing whenever you wish, to show him the fullness of your control over him whenever he needs to feel it, for as long as you both shall live?

With the unofficial power invested in me, by nobody in particular, I now pronounce you “Mistress” and “Slave.”

…You may now milk the slut-bride.

It truly was a beautiful night, and I don’t even think you can see, in the picture, how dark those marks are from the spanking he received. There were three things Mistress used to give him his beating. She used her crop (which I know you can see a good mark from it in the picture above), the quirt whip and the wooden paddle her slave so generously handmade for her with love.

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The slave bride was plugged with a rather large jeweled plug, it was so pretty when his Mistress spread his ass and presented it to the guests. During the exchanging of the vows our couple exchanged some jewelry that really had a lot of special meaning for them. After such a long night the “you may now milk the bride” didn’t go as planned. I believe the slave bride was awfully tired and mixed with the alcohol not a whole lot was happening. The overall night was amazing though and it didn’t even matter about that. We were completely blessed to be able to share this with our friends and we want to wish them so many more years together, forever, to enjoy this life!!

One thing I loved was, after the ceremony, I was able to try out the crop (it’s a bit more sturdy than mine!) and the quirt whip. The quirt was amazing and I totally want one! 🙂 The Domme friend also had a good time lining up her sub husband and the bride next to each other and going at their bottoms with the crop and the quirt again. Us ladies got quite the chuckle out of them as they stood there squirming from her swatting their asses. We had a wonderful time, met some fantastic new friends and enjoyed sharing in the love of this couple. Thank you for allowing us to be part of it!! We love you!!

Private Public Humiliation

Posted by Lady M on November 22, 2016
Posted in: D/s, FemDom, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , . Leave a Comment

I was asked recently what exactly I meant by “private public humiliation” and I felt the need to share what I mean here on the blog because I think a lot of Doms, subs, tops and/or bottoms would be interested in my take on this whole thing. First, let me get through the whole actual definition part of it all so everyone is well aware of what I’m talking about in general. Yes, I am sticking to the erotic nature of this because, obviously, that would be the ultimate goal here is to flick some sexual switch inside a person and get them turned on with all of this. Obviously if you want to know more about this type of psychological play please look it up. It’s a very touchy subject because it can get deep down into someone’s emotions and it can be a fine line between fun and not so fun and sometimes bordering on abuse – so lets not go there!

Definitions:

Erotic Humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can and often does include the person being humiliated and demeaned but not always. This can be exciting for the person being humiliated or the person doing the humiliating, or for some spectator.

Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play performed in front of other people. It’s that simple, the submissive is verbally or physically humiliated in front of his or her friends, family members, or even strangers.

Private Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play that is performed in privately in a public setting, usually in front of friends, family members, or even strangers.

Now, let me get a little more in depth here. I’m not totally into humiliation or degradation, it really isn’t my thing. I do like to push boundaries and run submissive men along the edges of play, especially cagedmonkey. He very much does not like to be made to feel incompetent or stupid and definitely does not want to be degraded and talked down to. I think he has worked hard to finally build up his confidence and self esteem that doing those things to him would be detrimental. I, for one, am not about being bitchy or mean or putting someone down… however hubby and I have found that a little private humiliation or private embarrassment can be fun. You get a touch of the humiliation play without hurting one emotionally or, something I’m REALLY against, bringing some unwilling party into your play and exposing them to something that may not be at all into. What I mean is, sending your sub to Victoria’s Secret and making them tell the sale person they are looking for panties for themselves and perhaps making them expose the fact that they are in chastity. This type of play is not ok… that poor employee didn’t ask to be humiliated right along with the submissive so that is just something I am against.

I figured I’d take a minute to give you some ideas of how to privately do some public humiliation so here you go:

(Please note while I have done a lot of these things they are not all things I have done but they are ideas of things that could be done privately)

– wearing butt plug (especially out in public, doing mundane things)
– wearing a cock ring with an erection (Stay hard longer)
– masturbating in a public restroom
– going to drive thru, ordering food, then cumming on and eating it.
– wearing panties
– buying panties for himself
– wearing pantyhose
– wearing garter and stockings
– having to write degrading words on yourself/chest then where light colored shirt out
– send him to buy you feminine items (makeup, panties, bra’s, tampons)
– wearing female deodorant and/or perfume and using female bathing items
– choose his meal and order for him when eating out
– send him to the restroom while out to eat, make him edge himself and then walk back to the table hiding his erection
– have him paint your toe nails, and then have him paint his own to match
– sitting down at all times when using the toilet
– have him carry your purse when in public

– kneeling in front of you regularly, to speak to you or beg for something (including sexual things)

If you have some ideas of your own, please feel free to comment below and add them to the list. I’m so sure everyone out there would appreciate it. There really are a lot of things you can have a guy do that doesn’t expose people to your play. If you are looking for some REAL public humiliation find yourself a good space for that with like minded people – there are munches and other gatherings around all over the place and I’m positive you would find a more willing party there to get some public play out of it. Check Fetlife for events in your area!

A Permanent Symbol of Control

Posted by Lady M on November 21, 2016
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

I realized today means quite a bit to me. November 21, 2013 has such a depth for me and I realized it when I was looking back at those silly memory things on Facebook. It means more than the day cagedmonkey handed me the keys to his chastity cage and asked that I take control of the most intimate parts of himself. That day, in itself, was such a beautiful moment, him kneeling in front of me and telling me that nothing would make him happier than for me to accept the keys and take full control. I do wish I could remember those exact words but the moment sticks in my mind anyway. 

However, wearing a chastity device, a removable device, is one thing but agreeing to be permanently marked, showing your devotion and submission and your love is something completely deeper. Today, three years ago, I took cagedmonkey to get his Chastity tattoo and I absolutely love that he has given himself completely to me. I am his and he is mine, we belong to each other and with each other. I can feel it every time I touch his skin. Almost 17 years later and it still feels electric. It’s comforting feeling his arms around me. 

Thank you, my darling subby hubby, for being mine and not being afraid to make it permanent and forever. I will forever wear your key as you wear my lock!

Mail Chastity: A Crap Load of Questions

Posted by Lady M on November 15, 2016
Posted in: Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Very recently Cagedmonkey and I have gotten a crap load of questions, lol and while some we answered specifically to those that asked already we thought the majority could be answered in a post in case any of your were interested in this stuff too. We always encourage people to ask questions and love taking the time to answer either privately or publicly so thanks to those who have asked. We appreciate your interaction and look forward to hearing from you again!! 🙂

Q: Do you see a time in your relationship when you’ll stop chastity?

A: Interesting question… NO! haha Cagedmonkey and I have actually talked about this a lot over the years and it’s comforting to both of us, I think, that neither of us want us to quit this or ever be done with the chastity. We have talked about, even as we age and may not be able to do some of the more hardcore things , we will continue and always have the chastity part of it all.

Q: Would you ever cuckold your husband while he is in chastity or is that something you are not into?

A: This is actually something we’ve talked about a bit. As far as the traditional (is it really traditional at all?) way of cuckolding, no, that is not something I would be willing to do. I am not really looking to have actual sex with other men. However, as we wrote in this post about, what we call, Pseudo-Cuckolding the whole idea of it is kinda hot and the little bit of jealousy of flirting with other men is a hot thing but neither of us have a desire for me to have sex with other men. Women on the other hand, that’s another story…

Q: What are your thoughts of ruined orgasm’s? do you do them, like them, hate them?

A:
Lady M – Oh I LOVE ruined orgasms and, of course, we do them! 🙂 They are really some of my favorite things in tease and denial. I absolutely LOVE when I can get CM right to the point of a ruined orgasm yet NOT give him one. That is a spot where I say I “broke it.” What that means is that I didn’t fully ruin his orgasm but his dick is all confused wondering what the fuck just happened and then I can practically use it as much as I want and he wont cum for a bit until his penis figures out it really didn’t cum! I’m totally smiling writing this and describing it!
CM – Yes, like ML said we do them and I hate them and hate how frustrating they are. I also try very hard not to have them but My Lady is extremely good at forcing them to happen whether I like it or not.

Q: Do you think chastity would work for anyone or does it take a certain relationship dynamic to make it work?

A: I think CM and I both agree on this that it takes a certain kind of person and relationship to actually enjoy chastity play. There has to be the right frame of mind, as we have said, chastity is not a lock it and leave it thing. There is work involved on both sides… unless of course being locked up and forgotten about is your thing. There is a LOT of emotional well being that needs to be considered when getting into chastity. It’s not just a steel (or plastic or resin) cage locked on your cock – there is a shit ton of mindfuckery that HAS to go along with it.

Q: “I just recently found your blog, and was wondering what your experience with the mature metal cage has been. Back in the day, we had a CB2000, but found it difficult to maintain long term chastity due to nighttime erections and swelling. Wondering if you have encountered these issues and how you dealt with it. Thanks.”

A: Mature Metal is really great, no buts about it (and, no, that’s not a paid advertisement, lol). It sounds like the problems you were having weren’t device related; nighttime erections are a pretty normal thing. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I need to do math in my head to get myself under control!

Swelling could be another issue – it could be normal attempted erections, but it also could be a sign that you need to adjust your cage measurements. If your cage is comfortable, it’s probably just that your cock wants to get hard but it can’t.

Q:  I noticed you have a long list of kinks that I absolutely love and a lot I’m curious about. Do you and your husband have any particular favorites?

A: I think our main kinks are tease, orgasm control, chastity, spanking and bondage… I mean we touch on a lot of different fetishes and kinks but those are probably most often.

Q: How is cagedmonkey enjoying his freedom since you let him cum after 10 months?

A: Oh, I’m sorry, were you under the assumption that I let cagemonkey out of his cage and left him unlocked after he got his long awaited orgasm? HAHAHA NOOOOOOO!!!!!! He was unlocked and I got what I needed, I did allow him to sleep uncaged that night but he was locked back up in the morning just like he is everyday. 🙂

 

Thank you all so much for the questions again! I love when we get a big rush of questions come in from all over the place, it’s so much fun to write about them but also it gets CM and I talking about all this stuff and keeps our communication open! Please, email, Twitter, Fetlife, where ever you contact us, please keep them coming. It’s extremely therapeutic!! 🙂

Morning Sex Coffee

Posted by Lady M on November 10, 2016
Posted in: Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

I used to think that sex before bed was the most amazing thing. Don’t get me wrong, it still is awesome, you make the sweet sweet love, have fantastic orgasms and fall asleep in each other’s arms, right? Well, not exactly! See, in our relationship sex is different, still awesome as hell, but different. Let me describe for you the way it works now, with a husband locked in chastity.

We head to bed and start running hands all over each other, kissing, licking, groping. Getting each other turned on and even more horny. Then, as my hand slides down my husbands chest and stomach, I feel that harness start near his pubic bone and then… that hard steel ring and cage encasing a cock that is trying to burst out. As much as I would love to feel that cock inside me right that second, there is a delay as we try to get his cock out of the cage so I have can it and feel him. The struggle is real people haha! Once he is out of the cage and we do manage to have sex, I am usually the only one who cums… Then we roll over and go to sleep, me satisfied and him laying there frustrated and more horny.  which in itself is a pretty fantastic thing but it’s not like it is in a traditional relationship.

I used to think that having sex and going to bed with my husband was so awesome but what I’ve realized over the past little bit is that not having that connection with him after sex makes me feel lonely and wanting, almost.  Trust me, I’m totally not complaining about having any kind of sex lol we have sex, period, and that is amazing. What I’m getting at is that I have found that morning sex is incredible for me! It really invigorates me and gets me going and starts my day in an amazing way. We wake up, we have super awesome sex and then I get to spend about 45 mins with him before he leaves for work. It just leaves me with such amazing feelings in the morning, and sometimes I’ve left even more horny too!  it’s like getting my morning coffee injection! LoL

Anyway, I just find it interesting, as I get older, how things change. How the way I feel about things changes. I love having any kind of sexual intimacy with my husband and being able to have that continued connection with him. It certainly helps after intense scenes so I don’t have Domme drop and it helps in general to have that connection. 

Do any of you (or your wives/girlfriends) feel that way? Have you noticed things like this too?

Mistress and Her She-Male Slave Wife

Posted by Lady M on November 9, 2016
Posted in: FemDom, Marriage, Off Topic. Tagged: , , , . 3 comments

Just a quick post to let you all know we will be out of town for a few days! In a few short days cagedmonkey and I will be celebrating a beautiful union in both the Vanilla, friends and family traditional way and the kinky only those in the know way. I’m really looking forward to seeing such an amazing couple become one. Since this blog focuses on the kinky side of things that is where I will take this post.

On Saturday, we will get to witness one of our best friends taking her she-male slave as her wife, to control and own and have in whatever way she pleases. I think that is a beautiful thing. She is not only making the commitment to him to be his wife but he is making that same kinky commitment to her. He is promising to be her she-male slave wife to serve and please her in whatever way she wants. Giving himself to her fully to control and be what she wants him to be, whether the big strong man who can fuck her or the sissy feminine slave wife she deserves. It’s really interesting being a part of this and more so that cagedmonkey gets to officiate the kinky wedding! He’s written some beautiful things for these two and I look forward to being part of it.

I do wish I could go into much more detail and all that and those of you that know… already know… those of you that don’t, I wish you could!!!! Anyway, it’s going to be a fun weekend!!

I Control If, When and How He Orgasms

Posted by Lady M on November 5, 2016
Posted in: FemDom, orgasm control, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 comments

We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!

Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!

Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way.  As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!

Desperate for Orgasm After 10 Months of Denial

Posted by Lady M on October 25, 2016
Posted in: Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

I bet you expected to see this post from Cagedmonkey, huh? Well, too bad, it’s from me. We are just about at the tenth month of this year long orgasm denial which, in itself, is pretty amazing. I’m pretty proud of myself for getting this far through this. So toward the end of last year, when we talked about this whole year long denial we always said if I wanted to stop for any reason we would. If it ever wasn’t fun anymore, or we weren’t enjoying it, we would stop. There is no way I would take something like that lightly or just decide on a whim that I was done.

For about the last month I’ve had off and on feelings about this whole year of denial thing. I’ve thought a lot about if I want to continue. It’s taken me about a month to finally get to a point where I knew I needed to actually make a decision. I noticed, recently, that when I thought about the denial, I’d almost start feeling down about it. Even more recently, thinking about sex was making me feel horny and, yes, excited but also I felt down… I’d start to feel blah and almost not want to have sex. Not that I didn’t want to but that feeling was there. I had to ask myself, why? Well, that why is because sex, for me, was not feeling satisfying. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled after. Yes, I get to cum and get pleased like crazy all the time but for some reason not seeing and feeling CM satisfied (especially inside me) is not giving me what I need. There is some part of our intimacy missing and it’s that moment when we are both in an intensely sexy moment, feeling that amazing feeling that I’m missing. In a way I feel sort of let down and maybe kind of lacking because I’m not getting his satisfaction. It’s so weird, I know, but that’s how it is.

I guess it’s difficult to explain how hard it is to keep someone denied for so long when you’re sexual with them on a daily basis. Sex, for me right now, just feels incomplete. I feel like I’m left hanging and really I am not one who enjoys denial or frustration. As much as I love denying him and frustrating him, I do still love seeing his satisfaction. It makes me feel good and like I’m doing something right. Like I said, it’s weird and hard to explain but it’s just what it is.

Someone asked earlier today, when I was telling them about all this, what is so important about the 12 months? What made us decide to do it? Honestly, there isn’t anything all that important about it. It was just something to try after trying so many other things lol. We really just wanted to see if we could do it, I guess. Other than I know I could do it, the past 10 months has helped me see that I actually do need to see and feel CM satisfied, at least once in a while! 

So, give it a couple days and then feel free to ask CM how it feels to cum after being teased and denied his orgasm for about ten months! Haha 🙂 I guess he’ll know, at some point, I’m going to tell him to cum after he reads this! 

I Got to Know Locked Up Love

Posted by Lady M on October 23, 2016
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 4 comments

I had the pleasure recently to chat with the owners at lockeduplove.net and learned a bit about their site and how they got started in the chastity business. In 2007, LUL began selling their products via eBay. In 2008, they developed the LUL website and continued selling the CB products and providing customers with advice by telephone and/or email. Though small and family-run, their business has continued to grow every year since then. Through the years, other companies have approached them to request they sell their products and accessories in the male chastity arena on their site, and many of these products they still carry, how cool is that? They have even developed some proprietary products, such as the Guardian for CB models and for the Holy Trainer® that they also provide to some retailers outside of the USA.  They certainly seem to be the largest retailer of Holy Trainer® and Birdlocked products in the USA.They also carry a lot of chastity accessories making locking up your love an easy process! 

I know many people in this lifestyle that have used their services and continue to. Locked up Love prides themselves on customer service, and always go the extra mile to please people (like adding a note to some packages when it is a gift). This has led to a strong reputation from those knowledgeable in this lifestyle, and they get many referrals and repeat customers as a result. If you are looking for a place to start with chastity and you are not looking to go custom just yet, check them out!

Podcast Episode 6 – We’re Drunk!

Posted by Lady M on October 18, 2016
Posted in: Conversations, Marriage, Pegging, Podcast. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

Monkey in a Cage is back with another episode of the podcast! I know it’s been a little bit since we’ve gotten one up but here it is. If you follow us or subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud.com you already got the notification that we posted a new podcast. Go you!!

Cagedmonkey and I were quite inspired by Drunk History, so in this episode we decided it might be fun to answer some questions from our readers and followers on a podcast while intoxicated. We were asked some questions about pegging, how it feels teasing and communication. Thank you again to our followers who asked questions on Twitter before and during our recording. We didn’t do a whole lot of editing to this so you get to hear all of the drunken slurs and tangents we get off on. We hope you enjoy!! 🙂

Click here to listen to our podcast on Soundcloud.com.

If you would like to subscribe to our RSS feed this is the link: http://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:254084738/sounds.rss