D/s

We really do not get much time for play these days. Now that the kids are older and staying up later, we get very limited time alone, especially when grandma’s living situation changed and she isn’t taking the kids overnight anymore. Last week, hubby had a very rare day off work so I took half a day at work myself so we could get a little playtime in while the kids were in summer camp. I broke down and paid for them to be in half day camp so they would stop calling me at work so much. Lol

Anyway, I came home from work and immediately walked over to hubby and made him give me a kiss to welcome me home. Though, it wasn’t just any kiss… Basically I put my pussy on his face and made him lick it. 🙂 I just love walking over to him, saying nothing and just sitting in his face or at least making my point known that he is to stop what he’s doing and eat my pussy. Once I was properly welcomed home we had a little relax and eat lunch time and then I instructed him to the bedroom. As soon as we got in the bedroom I quickly tied his wrists into some rope cuffs… I do love how fast I’ve gotten at making decent cuffs with the rope. Then I tied his wrists to the top of our poster bed. He was standing there, sexy and exposed and unable to move. Just waiting for whatever it was that I would do to him.  I spent a good amount of time using my flogger on him while he stood there. He does such an amazing job taking my flogging and spanking. I also loved making him moan and try to wiggle as I ran my nails all over his body. Lightly scratching down his arms, around to his chest, down his stomach and trailing to his side’s down to his bum and then his thighs. I really do get so wet from the noises he makes. I decided then to make things a little more interesting for him so I used the wand on him while I tickled his asshole and lightly slid the tip of my finger into his tightness. I eventually instructed him to hold the wand with his thighs, between his legs while I flogged him again until his skin was a gorgeous rosy color. 

In between flogging cagedmonkey I would reach around to his caged cock and squeeze the base where rooty was so prominent. I just love the reaction I get when I grab it and stroke it behind the cage, feeling his balls get tights and tighter. It turns me on so much seeing and feeling those reactions that are almost completely involuntary. I was so turned on by everything and every sound he was making that my pussy was so incredibly wet. After about an hour of standing there taking what I wanted to give him and my pussy practically dripping down my legs, I untied him and made him lick up the delicious sloppy mess between my legs. Of course I made him take a picture just before so we could share it all with you. 🙂

You’ve probably already read the post from a few days ago where cagedmonkey mentioned I have him locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. So there is no need to get into all that. The Revenge is quite an interesting device because of the fact that it’s practically a fully enclosed device, keeping cagedmonkey from any sensation on his penis, be it clothing, bedsheets, or human touch, there is just no way to feel any of that through the Steel encasing his cock. 

I think it’s pretty amazing that I get to create this world where my hubby is virtually without his penis. I get to tease him and drive him crazy making him hornier and hornier and his cock feels nothing. Now that he’s locked in the Revenge… He’s going to have to try hard to remember the feeling of my tight wet pussy wrapped around his cock while he struggles against the steel. Even his “rooty” is different in the enclosed device, there really is no where for it to go, no bulging out between the bars. I’d imagine the pressure and aching must feel slightly different but that’s something for the experts and not my assumptions. Just wait until I torture him with sliding that cage into my hot wet pussy and he feels nothing, not even the warmth.

Now, I know he mentioned that we would be taking this round with the Revenge a little slower, kinda like when you get a new cage, we aren’t jumping right into the long term. So tonight, since it’s been pretty close to a week since I locked him in the Revenge, I had him remove the cage to make sure we had no redness or sore spots or anything that showed there were any issue. I did not see anything at all so now I will push him out about 10 days or so. I will remind anyone interested in an enclosed caged (not sure if this is just the case with steel or all enclosed) that there is a smell associated with the immediate removal of the cage, even after only a week, which included daily washing. Not a huge deal, just know you can’t take it out and play with your toy right away like you can with the Jail Bird. It definitely needs a quick wash. 

Tonight was a little rough on CM because even though he was temporarily out of the confines of the cage, I still refused to touch his cock. Just because we are doing inspections every so often certainly doesn’t mean the spirit of not feeling anything for a few weeks isn’t there. I loved hearing the frustration in his choice when he realized I wasn’t going to touch his cock, which immediately went from soft to rock hard within about a minute or so of removing the cage. I do love how it sounds when he’s so incredibly frustrated from the horniness and it’s all because of me. I know he loves it too. And maybe that’s what makes it even more exciting! 🙂

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

I talk with a lot of submissive guys and girls, and they contact to me for a variety of reasons. I enjoy each and every one of them, but if I’m being completely honest, some of the submissives I talk with could easily be tagged with the description “strong-willed.” I know these subs can be difficult to Dom/me at times. I secretly enjoy, just a little bit, the determination these subs have. Yes, they can be stubborn and difficult, and they will state their cases whenever they can, but they certainly have passion. Strong-willed submissives can be exhausting, that’s for sure. But they also tend to grow into very obedient people with the right direction. When they learn to channel that determination, they take healthy risks — they learn to work through failure and keep trying. There’s a lot to love about strong willed submissives, us Dominants just need to learn how to survive them.

I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about some things that may be helpful for a Dom/me when they find they have themselves a strong-willed submissive!

Strong-willed subs are known for their power struggles. If they find an opening, they pounce. Routines and rules provide a great foundation (they take some of the guesswork out of the day), but they can be particularly helpful for strong-willed submissives. Try not to go nuts and overwhelm them with hundreds of rules and expectations. You can’t avoid every possible power struggle along the way, but a list of rules and expectations can help avoid some of the daily power struggles that wear on your nerves.

Strong-willed subs are often doers by default. If it seems like your submissive is always learning the hard way, that’s because he/she probably learns best by trial and error. Strong-willed subs have big ideas, and they may prefer to test their ideas or try telling you about them – this may seem like topping from the bottom but it can be done correctly using communication. If your sub follows the rules (ie: you must tell me any and all fantasies without assumption that they will be fulfilled), is there really any harm in letting them tell you about their fantasies? I find that many power struggles emerge between strong-willed subs and their partners because the subs have very strong opinions, and they tend to stick to them. You do have to set realistic rules and expectations, and you do have to follow through on those.

It’s extremely important to listen carefully.
Given that tenacious submissives tend to have a lot of very strong opinions and prefer to share those opinions often, Dom/mes can start ignoring them at times. It can be exhausting, and sometimes you just don’t want to debate why your rules are your rules. It’s important to listen. Sharing their ideas and opinions is how strong-willed subs work through things. If they appear stubborn at times, it’s because they have strong beliefs and integrity. They want to share that with you. Listen to your submissive and empathize. Help them channel that stubbornness into a positive. So your sub really wants to be dressed in certain types of clothing? Teach them how to research the pros and cons and engage in a healthy give-and-take on the matter instead of simply stating their need over and over again. No one likes whining and nagging. They might not get to wear those frilly pink panties, because it’s not something you are into, but at least they will feel heard and learn some important communication skills in the process. This is also an opportunity for a Dominant partner to compromise and even if you aren’t into a specific kink they are maybe you can negotiate a way to help fulfill that desire for them. Perhaps you don’t like them wearing feminine clothing but know they would like to try it… so you require them to wear them under their clothing whenever they are not around you. It’s a great reminder of who is in control… taps into their kink and doesn’t bother you in the least! 🙂

One of the things I find we need to ask ourselves is:
Are you being an intentional Dominant?
I like to think of being a Dominant in three ways:

Automatic: the stuff you do constantly and without thinking, like letting them know you are thinking about them, teasing them mentally and sexually, making sure they have and are following rules, praising behavior, etc.

Reactive: providing discipline and correcting behavior, giving after-care, fulfilling fantasies

Proactive: the stuff you really think about and plan ahead for, like an intense bondage, pegging or spanking scene.

Now ask yourself and be honest: How much time do you spend a week on proactive stuff — like really thinking about what it is you want your submissive to experience, and then putting together a plan to make it happen? That’s the first step to becoming a more intentional Dom/me.

The next thing to think about is focus. How often are we giving our subs our full and undivided attention? Do we listen to their fantasies with our whole heart? Do we set aside specific times each day to be fully and intentionally present?

A little bit of a late Christmas post but we do hope that you all had a fantastic Christmas. We had a great time seeing family on Christmas Eve and enjoying a yummy dinner and gifts. Then we spent Christmas day at home as a family in jammies all day playing with new toys and, yesterday, our little Christmas-time was extended when we dropped the kids off to grandma’s so we could go out with a friend.

I think the kids were happy with all their new toys and hubby and I got things for each other that are more for both of us so that’s awesome. I did end up getting an amazing kinky gift too from our friend. Such an incredible, handcrafted piece and I am thoroughly impressed with it and so grateful to have been given this extremely thoughtful gift. I just love it so much and… It’s BLUE (and kind of silver looking)!!!

I completely love it and I can not wait to try it out. The handle is so perfect and it’s curved just right and fits in my hand. The wood is exquisite and so smooth. I fondled that thing all night and didn’t feel a single flaw. Not a bump or rough spot anywhere on it. It really is an amazing piece of work. I would have loved to try it out last night but just didn’t have the right opportunity. 🙂 

We love that we have gotten to share another year with you. Again, we hope you all had an awesome Christmas and hope you have a fantastic New Year!! 

I was asked recently what exactly I meant by “private public humiliation” and I felt the need to share what I mean here on the blog because I think a lot of Doms, subs, tops and/or bottoms would be interested in my take on this whole thing. First, let me get through the whole actual definition part of it all so everyone is well aware of what I’m talking about in general. Yes, I am sticking to the erotic nature of this because, obviously, that would be the ultimate goal here is to flick some sexual switch inside a person and get them turned on with all of this. Obviously if you want to know more about this type of psychological play please look it up. It’s a very touchy subject because it can get deep down into someone’s emotions and it can be a fine line between fun and not so fun and sometimes bordering on abuse – so lets not go there!

Definitions:

Erotic Humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can and often does include the person being humiliated and demeaned but not always. This can be exciting for the person being humiliated or the person doing the humiliating, or for some spectator.

Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play performed in front of other people. It’s that simple, the submissive is verbally or physically humiliated in front of his or her friends, family members, or even strangers.

Private Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play that is performed in privately in a public setting, usually in front of friends, family members, or even strangers.

Now, let me get a little more in depth here. I’m not totally into humiliation or degradation, it really isn’t my thing. I do like to push boundaries and run submissive men along the edges of play, especially cagedmonkey. He very much does not like to be made to feel incompetent or stupid and definitely does not want to be degraded and talked down to. I think he has worked hard to finally build up his confidence and self esteem that doing those things to him would be detrimental. I, for one, am not about being bitchy or mean or putting someone down… however hubby and I have found that a little private humiliation or private embarrassment can be fun. You get a touch of the humiliation play without hurting one emotionally or, something I’m REALLY against, bringing some unwilling party into your play and exposing them to something that may not be at all into. What I mean is, sending your sub to Victoria’s Secret and making them tell the sale person they are looking for panties for themselves and perhaps making them expose the fact that they are in chastity. This type of play is not ok… that poor employee didn’t ask to be humiliated right along with the submissive so that is just something I am against.

I figured I’d take a minute to give you some ideas of how to privately do some public humiliation so here you go:

(Please note while I have done a lot of these things they are not all things I have done but they are ideas of things that could be done privately)

– wearing butt plug (especially out in public, doing mundane things)
– wearing a cock ring with an erection (Stay hard longer)
– masturbating in a public restroom
– going to drive thru, ordering food, then cumming on and eating it.
– wearing panties
– buying panties for himself
– wearing pantyhose
– wearing garter and stockings
– having to write degrading words on yourself/chest then where light colored shirt out
– send him to buy you feminine items (makeup, panties, bra’s, tampons)
– wearing female deodorant and/or perfume and using female bathing items
– choose his meal and order for him when eating out
– send him to the restroom while out to eat, make him edge himself and then walk back to the table hiding his erection
– have him paint your toe nails, and then have him paint his own to match
– sitting down at all times when using the toilet
– have him carry your purse when in public

– kneeling in front of you regularly, to speak to you or beg for something (including sexual things)

If you have some ideas of your own, please feel free to comment below and add them to the list. I’m so sure everyone out there would appreciate it. There really are a lot of things you can have a guy do that doesn’t expose people to your play. If you are looking for some REAL public humiliation find yourself a good space for that with like minded people – there are munches and other gatherings around all over the place and I’m positive you would find a more willing party there to get some public play out of it. Check Fetlife for events in your area!

Thanks to some schedule quirks, I’ve had the past few Fridays off from work. With the kids at school, the adults have time to play. Last week was somewhat mellow, but this past Friday was pretty damn intense.
ML informed me on Thursday night that she wanted to have me under “total submission” rules – I would pretty much be hers to do whatever she wanted to. After getting the kids off to school, My Lady put my collar on and gave me my first instruction – cooking breakfast while wearing nothing but my chastity cage.

Gotta be careful with that knife…

Breakfast was delicious and My Lady was very pleased. After a short while, ML led me to the bedroom, where I was to serve her in a much different way.

ML instructed me to take the stockade out from underneath the bed and put it together. She also asked me to get the fucking machine ready for use. My skin tingled, thoughts of what may lie ahead ran though my brain as I prepared the instruments of torture ML would soon be using on me. I finished putting together the steel bondage contraption just as My Lady stepped out of the closet with the leather hood in her hands.

It was only moments later when I was locked into position on my hands and knees, hooded tightly, with the fucking machine positioned ominously behind me.

ML started the way she usually does when she has me restrained in a vulnerable position – by paddling my ass until it was red and sore. This was just an appetizer, though; it wasn’t long before she set up the fucking machine to take me from behind.

Mercifully, she didn’t choose one of our larger attachments.

My Lady kept me on my toes (knees?) by changing the settings on the fucking machine often. At times it was thrusting into me with quick shallow strokes; other times it fucked me deep and incredibly slow. Each unique setting tortured me in its own special way: the fast strokes pounded my poor ass, while the slow strokes forced me to suffer through each inch as it stretched me out.

It didn’t take long for ML’s desire to spank me returned, and she began paddling me once again. At this point I really began to whimper and cry out with each swat – having my ass spanked while being mechanically raped was enough to make me start losing my composure. The whimpers soon turned to moans as ML increased the stroke length; the machine fucked me deeper, bumping my prostate with each thrust and causing my caged cock to drool uncontrollably.

An action shot of dripping precum.

The sound of my hood-muffled moans was apparently music to ML’s ears, because she decided to make me moan even more. She took her wand and used it to vibrate my balls. I couldn’t stay quiet as I felt the precum building, leaking, and escaping. It was twice as frustrating as it was pleasurable, which is to say it was pretty fucking frustrating.

ML left me there for countless minutes, balls and cock vibrated by a high-intensity wand and asshole being violated by an uncaring contraption. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to… and after a short while of suffering through this torture, I certainly did want to!

Now, our regular readers know that ML is an expert mind-fucker. She knows what buttons to push in order to drive me absolutely insane, and she knows exactly when to push them. ML pressed that button by talking dirty to me, making my predicament clear and undeniable. It made enduring the torture ten times worse, at least.


I was in agony, as you could probably tell by the noises I was making in that video clip. But ML still wasn’t finished; she was ready to put the cherry on top of my sundae of suffering.
I felt ML loosening the hood, and she removed it from my head. As I blinked my eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness, My Lady sat down in front of me and looked directly into my eyes. After all of the bondage, spanking, ass fucking, and vibrating… THIS was the most intense moment of all – My Lady’s eyes piercing into my mind as I continued to suffer for her enjoyment.

ML began to tell me how much it turned her on to hear me whimper, to hear me beg for it to stop, to have the control to continue well past the point that I want it to end. I could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes – she was loving it. Just as I started to break down, she leaned forward and kissed me passionately. On one end I was being endlessly ass fucked beyond my control, and at the other I was being treated to a loving gesture by the woman responsible for my current situation.

My mind was sufficiently blown.

ML released me shortly after that, stopping the fucking machine and releasing me from the stockade. Despite the intense mind fucking and humiliation-like flavors of the scene, neither of us felt a major need for aftercare… yet, we did it anyway, of course. We talked about it, and we assured each other that it was goooooooooooooooood. 🙂 It was an amazing, intense scene; I couldn’t really believe it had actually happened a few hours later when the kids were home and we were back to our normal life.

My sore, worn out asshole wouldn’t let me forget. 🙂

My Lady sprung a little surprise on me while I was at work today by sending me the following email:

What are your thoughts on a “no look, no touch” period?

I’m thinking anytime I unlock you, you will be blindfolded and restrained. You can’t shower uncaged, unless you are blindfolded and I’m with you in there cleaning you…

How can I say no to that?

(Well, technically I can’t say no to anything, really. That’s what our D/s relationship is all about.)

It’s been quite a while since ML and I have done “no look no touch.” In fact, I don’t think we’ve done much of it year, if at all – with all of the job nuttiness and then throwing an interstate move on the pile, there wasn’t much room in our lives for that type of project. And it is a project – whenever I need a shave or when ML wants to use my cock for her pleasure, I need to be tied down and blindfolded. It’s more of an undertaking than it seems.

However, now is a great time to reintroduce it into our routine. Our bed is extremely bondage-friendly, which comes in handy. Also, ML has been wanting to practice her rope-work for a while now – this will give her a chance to “develop her skills,” so to speak.

So how long will it be before I touch, or even SEE my erect penis? Not sure, to be honest; it seems as though ML is looking to go a little longer than usual. Perhaps denying me an orgasm for a year is upping her interest in extended durations for other parts of our chastity/denial play. I always go into this type of thing confident that it won’t affect me that much… and then two or three days in, I’m wishing it was over with. I get the feeling that it will be quite a bit longer than a few days this time around.