Marriage

Conversations in Chastity: It’s Tough For Us Keyholders, Too!

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 15, 2014
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Lady M: I can’t get enough of feeling your body, touching you all over.

cagedmonkey: I love the way you touch me.

LM: I want to touch you all over. I miss your cock.

cm: Yeah, about that… can I ask you something out-of-role?

LM: Sure, baby. What’s up?

cm: It seems like lately you’ve been really missing my cock… I’d say almost as much as I do, but that’s pretty much impossible. But I’m getting the vibe that it’s starting to take its toll on you too. Do you want my help with finishing the whole month you planned to have me locked 24/7? If you start to break down, do you want me to remind you?

LM: I’ll be okay. When I tell you that I miss you cock, I’m just expressing myself. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss it.

cm: Good, I don’t want you to pretend. I also kinda like it that you miss it.

LM: Right. See, I can’t play that “hard ass Domme” role like I don’t want your hard cock. This stuff is hard on me too, you know.

cm: I know, but I need to know how bad you want this. Because I obviously want out of the cage, and if you start getting weak I can’t guarantee what I’ll try to talk you into it. But if you REALLY want this to happen, I’ll try my best not to push it. We may need to work together when we try to stretch to new limits.

LM: I do want to make it. I will let you know if I need your help. It’s only a few weeks, I should be able to make it.

cm: You say “only a few weeks” as if it’s not that much time. To me, it’s “a few weeks!”

LM: Only a few weeks until I get to wrap my hand around that big fat cock of yours.

cm: Mmmmm, I love it when you describe it like that!

LM: Well, it is big and fat… but only when I allow it to be.  😉

Books I Would Recommend to Keyholders & Couples in Chastity

Posted by Lady M on April 14, 2014
Posted in: Advice, Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

If you’ve been reading our blog you’re already familiar with the fact that I am a huge researcher. When I’m interested in something I search the hell out of it on the internet and I love physical (& ebooks) books. As a new Keyholder I was happy to find that there were actually a few books out there for Keyholders and about male chastity. I have been into tease & denial since cagedmonkey and I got together but it is always great to find a book to give some ideas for that as well.

Below are just some of the books I’ve read on these subjects; well the ones I care to review and recommend to other Keyholders.

In all my research I was extremely happy when I found those certain key words to search that brought me to the websites with real life male chastity information. People who are married, love each other and live the lifestyle how they want it to be. Btw, those magic key words? Yeah, I finally got around to using “male chastity and/in marriage.” What a huge difference that made in weeding out the fantasy world.

That’s when I found Thumper’s blog as well as Sarah Jameson’s blog.I found that Sarah had written books that were available on her site and that is what got me started on hunting down books.
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Sarah’s book main book (if she’s still selling it) is a bit pricey however she does have a couple free ebooks. Her tease & denial guide and guide to male chastity & orgasm denial (no I don’t feel it’s a “complete guide” but it’s a good read anyway) are pretty good for a Keyholder who might also be new at tease and denial. You can also sign up for free emails from her that do offer some good advice.
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I can tell you that Sarah’s book is a pretty good book. It’s a very gentle, easy read and focuses on male chastity in a marriage. It really would be great for a very vanilla wife looking for information on this lifestyle. Though with all the other books out there, now, it’s hard to justify the cost of her book (which was an ebook/pdf when I got it). 🙂 I think it could be a great resource if she lowered the price and possibly offered it in print format.

A couple of cheaper books are available on Amazon.com. Georgia Ivey Green has a book “A Keyholder’s Handbook: A Womans guide to male chastity”
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This book has some good advice for a keyholder on chastity but be aware she also talks about some other fetishes such as feminization, humiliation and others. This book is less than $10.00 and well worth it in my opinion. As with any self help type book, you take what applies to you and leave the rest. Nothing is the end all authority on how to live your FLR or chastity lifestyle.

Mistress Ivey also has another book “How to setup an FLR” which is a great read if you are also looking to expand your chastity lifestyle to include a Female Led aspect.
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This book gives a couple a lot to think about in regards to what they each want from their relationship. It has questions for both partners to see where they are in terms of flr. We used this book to help write our chastity agreement.

Another book available from Amazon and is more vanilla than Mistress Ivey’s book but is an excellent starters guide is “Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders” by Lucy Fairbourne.
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This book is in both paperback and ebook format which is also around $10.00. It’s well worth it again in my opinion. If you are looking for a book to start with or to introduce your wife/partner to chastity and being your Keyholder, this would be it. As the book states it is a very “non-threatening, female-friendly introduction to the topic of male chastity, ideal for nervous keyholders or as a love-offering from a would-be-chastened male.” This book is a gentle approach to the subject and written in a very matter-of-fact style. It really is the perfect way to introduce this kink.

I try to give my honest opinions on the things I use or read. I hope that they are helpful to those who check out our blog and those looking to get started in this wonderful lifestyle. We love and embrace both the chastity and flr/wlm parts of our relationship.

Please feel free to add your own opinions of these books in the comments. If others are anything like me they would love to hear more than just one point of view.

Conscious Coupling

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 5, 2014
Posted in: Advice, Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

(WARNING: This post does not have all that much to do with chastity, so if you’re looking for hot & horny posts, check out some of our other blog entries.)

I’m usually not interested in all of that celebrity gossip/TMZ crap, so I’ll admit that I had only just barely heard about the whole Gwyneth Paltrow thing about “conscious uncoupling.” (Note: I had to go to Google to find out how to spell “Gwyneth Paltrow” correctly. So, yeah.) For those of you who are like me and couldn’t care any less about it… basically, she’s splitting up with her husband but she doesn’t want to call it a divorce. So she came up with this “conscious uncoupling” bullshit to make it sound better than it actually is.

The only reason I mention it is because I read an article in Time magazine today – yes, I read Time magazine, what’s it to ya? – that references the whole situation. Joel Stein writes in the latest issue’s “The Awesome Column” (a satirical humor article that I usually find very funny) about how, inspired by Paltrow’s epic euphamism, he tried to bring the subject up with his wife. He described it as almost like asking for a mid-marriage prenup, which predictably went over worse than asking for a regular prenup.

Anyway, I’m not randomly babbling here. At the end of his article, Stein writes:

It turns out that part of what keeps a marriage going is the pretense that it always will, that the choice over continuing has been taken away from you by the law, social shame and daily habit. It’s unconscious coupling, and I want to keep it that way.

Now to be fair, a lot of what Stein writes is tongue in cheek sarcasm, but I think he’s being serious here. He’s also 100% wrong. Basically, his argument is that the only reason people stay married is because they have to. Does that sound like a wonderful, loving marriage to you? Not me, either. If the only reason he stays married to his wife is because he feels obligated to, I feel sorry for him.

My Lady and I have been through some tough times in our marriage; times where each of us started taking the other for granted, where we fell into a rut, when we were with each other just because we were with each other. Not until we worked out our issues and really started to choose to be with each other did we truly open our eyes and see how wonderful our love and our marriage could be. We aren’t with each other out of habit. We are with each other because we both feel that being in each other’s life makes our own that much more fulfilling. I don’t stay married to my wife because of the so called “social shame” Stein mentions. If anything, I’m fucking proudto be married to such an amazing woman!

Gwyneth Paltrow is shooting for “conscious uncoupling.” Joel Stein wants to build his marriage around “unconscious coupling.” But wouldn’t being with the one you love by choice instead of by force be that much more blissful?

Wouldn’t “conscious coupling” be the pinnacle of a healthy, loving marriage?

Surprise, Surprise!

Posted by Lady M on March 30, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

In case you didn’t know, I’m kind of a control freak so I don’t really like surprises. I like to know what is happening, where we’re going and how we’re getting there. I like to be the one to plan it out all. I’m just not usually capable of handing over that much control without some anxiety.

I do love knowing that cagedmonkey is capable of thinking about me and wants to do something nice for me by taking me out. He’s planned on taking me on a date on tomorrow night but it is a total mystery as to where we’re going. I’m not that anxious about it this time because I know he’s been locked and denied orgasm for 3 weeks and his thoughts are about pleasing me. I know he’s taking me out to do something he knows I’ll enjoy because he’s thinking about me and my enjoyment.

You boys can be very selfish but I’ve noticed it is much less when you are locked and focused on your Lady/Mistress. I’m looking forward to what my sweet boy has planned. Although any precious time we get without the kids is always an amazing time even if we’re just sitting and watching tv. 🙂

Sick as a Horny Dog

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 18, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

Wanna know how desperate I am to cum? I got sick with a cold, and I’m still fucking horny as hell!

I spent a good part of yesterday cooking up a nice little cold, and by the end of the night it was bad enough that I ended up calling in sick to work. Did that stop me from following My Lady around like a lapdog all day long, asking her if there was any way to serve her, sexual or otherwise? Of course not. In fact, we even shared a shower later on in the night. I sensually washed My Lady’s incredibly sexy body, getting down on my knees in the shower to wash her feet and legs. I also played with her pussy, giving her a nice strong orgasm which may or may not have including squirting; couldn’t really tell with the warm water rushing down our bodies.

And this morning, just ten minutes ago, I woke up next to My Lady’s naked body next to me in bed. She was still sleeping, cuddled up next to me. I ran my hands up and down her side, brushing her hip with my fingertips. I gently pushed her to roll her over on to her stomach, taking care not to wake her up. I softly squeezed her ass and then slid my hand up between her legs. I rubbed my fingers up and down the lips of ML’s already wet pussy (what was she dreaming about, I wonder?), before pushing a finger all the way inside on one thrust.

My Lady moaned deeply and loudly. I absolutely LOVE waking her up like that and seeing her reaction. Even though she is still half asleep, she still bucks her hips back to meet my hand, unconsciously wanting more of my touch. I continued this for a few minutes until I knew she was awake, but I stopped before she had a chance to cum – unfortunately, My Lady is also sick, and unlike her intensely horny toy (ME!), she doesn’t seem to need an orgasm today. Yet. 🙂 When she wakes up, that could possibly change. As I’ve been going crazier and crazier with horny, she’s been wanting it more and more as well.

At the very least, I hope that we shake off this cold soon… it’s not doing me any good to be sick AND horny!!!

Dark Desires

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 14, 2014
Posted in: Anal, Bondage, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

As far as fetishes and kinks go, male chastity can be very diverse. Many things can be added to or augmented to chastity; no two experiences will be exactly the same. What I’ve found is that chastity has opened up many different areas of kink to My Lady and me. There are things we thought we’d never try that we found were a huge turn on for both of us.

Last night at work, ML and I were having one of our “remember when” discussions about  the time she fulfilled my rape fantasy. I was amazed at how incredible the experience was, and how much I enjoyed it… after the fact, of course! As we were talking, we began to brainstorm about how to take it to the next step. As we were considering a lengthier scene, ML writes me the following text:

“Not too tough with enough time to spread it out. Like being kidnapped, kept, and repeatedly raped, hehe.”

My jaw literally dropped.

And my cage immediately got tighter.

What a GREAT IDEA!!!!!

We spent the next two hours, tossing around ideas for how to draw it out, including but not limited to: sending the kids to a multi-day camp, so she could abuse me over the course of days; cuffing me in various positions in various places around the house; blindfolding me, and using a variety of toys on me without warning; fucking my ass with the strap on, or toys of her choosing as I lick her pussy; leaving me restrained while she goes to rest, returning later to continue her assault; riding my cock while shoving a dildo up my ass; keeping the tease up while the kids are home, sneaking into the kitchen when I’m alone and roughly fingering my ass, giving me no place to hide; and so on.

Needless to say, my cock was trying its best to get hard. In vain, of course, pushing against the walls of the Revenge. But DAMN, was it hot. It was turning us both on! I have a feeling this will happen sometime in the future. 

It really is amazing that My Lady and I can discuss these dark desires with each other, without worrying about how the other will react. We made a promise to each other when we started this to be honest and open about any fantasies we have, no matter how out there they may seem. How else would we know if we liked something or not without trying it first?

I know all you guys out there always say that I’m the luckiest guy in the world, and I really am…. but not for the reasons you think. It’s not because My Lady locks up my cock for weeks on end, denying me orgasm until I’m insane with need, teasing me mad until I’m about to explode. It’s because I have a partner who loves me, respects me, and cares for me enough to allow me to trust her with anything and everything that is inside me without fear. And she has the same thing in me. THAT is why I’m so lucky.

Ok, I won’t deny it… I’m pretty lucky for those other reasons, too. 🙂

Permanent Keyholder

Posted by Lady M on March 12, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 3 comments

A while back cagedmonkey got tattooed with a lock that I designed for him when we started this whole chastity journey. I finally went today and got my matching key. I’m super excited about it, I love it and it looks awesome!
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I am forever and permanently cagedmonkey’s Keyholder!

What a Keyholder Wants, a Keyholder Gets

Posted by Lady M on March 11, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 5 comments

I’m not really one who plans out how things are going to be or even what things are going to happen. I’m more of the go-with-the-flow type person because I’ve found that things are much more enjoyable when we don’t expect or count on certain things. One thing about life that used kill me was getting my hopes up or expecting something and then only getting disappointed because it wasn’t how I imagined, what I pictured or exactly how I wanted it.

One thing chastity had taught, me as a wife and Keyholder, is that nothing is ever set in stone and everyday is a maybe day! I certainly have ideas of how I want things to go, especially a T & D or D/s session but in no way do I plan our expect anything to go in any particular way.

Since our Valentine’s Day romp my goal was to keep cagedmonkey caged completely (not out, no erections, no feeling me) until my birthday in April and denied his orgasm until his birthday in June. Well as you all probably read a couple weeks ago, the caged completely thing was blown out of the water soon after. Hey, what can I say? I love my man’s cock! 🙂 Still denying him orgasm until June was going to be easy, right?

Nothing is ever as easy as we think! Last night was something quite amazing. Hubby and I were spending some wonderful time together snuggling on the couch. We watched a couple shows on Netflix and just laid together holding each other. Cagedmonkey ended up rubbing my shoulders, relaxing me and making me feel so good and loved. One thing led to another and we were kissing and groping each other. It felt incredible to have his body between my legs, above me like that. It was so sexy, such a turn on, to feel his strong arms, his hips and thighs. We kissed and made out like a couple of horny teenagers.

We’re stopped for a break to get a drink and we talked. As were were sitting there talking we got on the subject of how bad we both missed his cock. With it being in the Revenge I don’t even get a chance to play with it like I do in the Jail Bird. Somewhere in our conversation I leaned over, used the key on my necklace and unlocked the lock on the Revenge. I popped the caged off and he started to instantly get hard so I made him quickly remove the ring.

This was something that had been going through my head for a good part of the day. I am a wife and I have a sexual relationship with my husband… but I’m also a Keyholder. Sometimes the heart, the wife part of me, really wants to have that connection, that intimacy with her husband. To feel his body against mine, to feel him slowly slide his thick cock into my tight pussy, to feel him fill me up with his cum.

One of the best things about being a Keyholder, his dominant, is that I’m in charge and what I say goes! Sometimes when the wife part of me wants to take over, I have the choice to let it happen. To feel my man make love to me. Thrusting slowly into me until I feel those very familiar spasms of his cock. Continuing to thrust as I feel his warm cum overflow my pussy. Filling me up and spilling out on to the couch because there was so much!

It may seem like I messed up my plans but really the ideas I have to get to my goals are never plans. Ideas don’t always happen like we think and that’s the best. One thing I did different this time around was I immediately locked hubby back in the Revenge. I did this in hopes of preserving some of that horny he had pent up for three weeks. I certainly want to try to avoid the “low” that happens after orgasm. We will see how this goes, it’s new to us because usually if he’s going to cum, I drain him with multiple orgasms.

So when a Keyholder Wants something, a Keyholder will have it. She is in charge!

Mothering vs. Age Play

Posted by Lady M on February 26, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 6 comments

There are a lot of different kinks and scenes that can be played out in the D/s or bdsm lifestyle. Age play seems to be a big interest to some. So what is Age Play? Age play would be where two or more consenting adults act as if they are a different age. This can be a sexual or non-sexual scene. The actual activities and the age can vary from a little baby to an older adult. Feeding, bathing, diapering, caressing, putting to bed, telling a bed-time story, defending against other adults, and just cuddling and petting are some of the activities enjoyed. 

Age play is not something that cagedmonkey and I are into. I’m not at all turned on by seeing my hubby in a diaper or even taking care of him as if he were an infant. I have two kids and I’m a stay at home mom so I get my fill of the Mommy/child thing and really don’t need to recreate it with my hubby. 🙂 we are totally about encouraging what feels good to others so please don’t think I’m saying it’s a bad thing. To each their own and it’s great to explore and see what gives you that tingle!

One thing we are noticing about me during all of our exploring is that I really do enjoy “mothering.” To me this is different than age play because there is no acting as if someone is a different age, rather it is the feeling of taking care of my man. I love cuddling him, I love him laying his head on my chest and me just holding him. I love feeling like he needs me.

I know how my subby hubby is and he’s a guy who needs love, respect, assurance, encouragement, praise, stability, guidance and discipline. I love being the one to give him that. It truly turns me on sexually to be the one he wants to give him those things. I get extremely turned on being the one to hold and comfort him. I get extremely turned on when I spank him. I get extremely turned on when he depends on me.

Is this merely D/s stuff? FLR stuff? Maybe, but to me I call it mothering. There is a lot more, in my opinion, to D/s so maybe this mothering thing fits more in with the Female Led or Wife Led stuff. Whatever it is, it is something that I’m accepting of myself. It is something that cagedmonkey and I both realize we BOTH feel good about.

It really is a wonderful thing to be open to experimenting. It’s great and healthy to listen (without judgement) to each others fantasies, no matter how odd they may seem. They do not have to be fulfilled in part or in whole but knowing what they are can really help grow a relationship. We’ve found that exploring ourselves and being more comfortable with each other and ourselves has helped us to be a lot more accepting. We accept the things that make us both feel good sexually and non-sexually. Knowing these things about each other makes it that much easier to please one another.

Just something to think about. 🙂

So Much For Two Months….

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 25, 2014
Posted in: Anal, Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 9 comments

On Sunday night, My Lady and I sat down together for a few drinks while watching some TV together. We probably should have prepared a little more for the drunkenness ahead, because in the past these types of “drinking nights” have led to weaknesses in ML’s resolve. In other words… when we get drunk together, we usually end up fucking no matter what the chastity situation is. Sometimes I’m a good boy and I hold back when ML denies me. Sometimes ML needs to feel it and she allows me to cum inside her. We felt that we had some added extra security, knowing that it was ML’s time of the month. Would this time be different? Well…

After a few drinks, kisses, and horny touches, My Lady began to tell me how badly she wanted to have a nice hard cock inside her. I told her I’d be happy to oblige, but I couldn’t unless she released me. At first she shook her head and told me that I should go get the strap on instead, but then she seemed to soften up a bit. She talked about how she really did miss my cock, the hardness of my shaft combined with the softness of my skin. Then I asked her the fateful question of the night…

“Would you be mad if you happened to pass out drunk, if I unlocked myself and fucked you?”

And she thought about it!

This comes back to a post ML wrote about whether or not she wants me to disobey her. We’ve talked about it before, and so I kinda already knew where she stood. But I had to ask anyway.

She responded with a long “Hmmmmm…”

Then she reached behind her neck and took the chain that holds my key off of her neck. I looked at her with a confused and excited face. “If you’re going to do it, I figured I’d start you off. But you gotta get me to drink more first.” She smiled at me. I jumped off the couch and poured her another glass of wine. While I was up, she also told me to get a porn DVD that we got for free with an online sex toy purchase.

WTF??? We’re going to watch porn together? I thought. But there was no way I was going to argue. I popped the DVD in and we started to watch.

We watched the first few scenes, and slowly both of us began to realize something – the movie wasn’t all that great. I mean, yeah, it was porn, so we were both getting horny… but it could have been so much better. The girls were obviously faking it (except for one girl-on-girl scene, one of the chicks was REALLY getting into it, you could tell!), and the guys were not even doing a good job with their dicks. I said casually to ML, “Man, I could fuck you so much better than that and make it look so much better.”

She whispered in my ear, “Oh yeah? Show me.” My eyes shot wide open. I asked if she was sure; she nodded. In an instant, the key was in my hand working on the security screw on my Jailbird. My cock sprang out and was fully hard in seconds.

So much for being locked in the cage 24/7 for two months!

I was ready to fuck her immediately, only one problem – the dreaded cycle. What to do? My Lady had a wonderful suggestion:

“Why don’t you just fuck my ass?”

Well then! Sounds like a plan to me!

I lubed us both up and slowly slid my cock into her tight ass. We both moaned loudly as I sunk in further. I was still wearing the ring of the Jailbird, so my cock was extra full and hard, and she definitely felt the difference. I fucked her ass slowly, making sure not to cum and ruin the ENTIRE chastity plan and start over at square one. But as we went on, the alcohol started to get my head swimming, which pushed my urge to cum at bay. Soon I was fucking her pretty hard in the ass, and she was loving it.

We stopped, and we planned to take a shower together. I stood up and ML went to get the DVD out of the player, which is located on a floor level compartment of our entertainment center. All of a sudden, the animal in me took over and I came up behind her and shoved my cock back into her ass. She moaned and squealed in that sexy “give it to me harder” way, so I did. HARD. FUCKING HARD. I pounder her until her face was pressed into the carpet. I pulled her hair as I thrusted into her. I slammed my cock into her as I spanked her ass and called her my anal fuck slut. And she loved every moment, asking for it harder and deeper. She really is an amazing woman. 🙂

After washing off in the shower together, we staggered into the living room to remove all evidence of our alchohol/porn fueled sex romp (just in case the kids woke up early the next morning, lol). We snuggled in bed together, sans clothes and sans cage. It was wonderful.

The next morning, we got out of bed. ML looks at me and seriously asks me, “Did you fuck my ass last night?”

“Uhhhh, yeah!” I replied. “You don’t…”

She shook her head.

She didn’t remember ANY of it! She remembered the drinking and porn parts, but drew a total blank on the ass fucking!* I told her that was fucking hot, and she smiled a huge smile at me. I put my cage back on before heading downstairs, the two month plan destroyed but the four month plan very much still in play. And I ended up getting something I was craving very badly, but still I’m denied and needing to cum bad.

*Note: when ML reads this post, it will probably be the first time she hears about what happened. I didn’t give her many details when she asked what happened. So, look for her in the comments. She may have some interesting things to say about being my “anal fuck slut” for a night!