Our toys and equipment are all packed in storage and we certainly haven’t had any time for much play living in this state of limbo, as we are. That doesn’t stop the mind from wandering and the body from wanting.

Lately, I’ve been craving things, intense things. I’ll just flat out warn you now that I may describe some things in this post that I’m fantasizing about. No one can hold my cravings or fantasies against me and if you don’t like intensity, women in control being forceful etc, then you might as well stop reading now.

I’ve noticed since living here in someone else’s house the lack of control I feel. Not so much the lack of control over cagedmonkey but over everything in general. When I start to feel that loss of control it makes me want to grab on harder and hold deeper to my dominant-ness. It’s been building and building and I’m fantasizing about getting that control back. I’m feeling very (almost) angry and aggressive and life I want to forcefully take it back, make it mine and have it again… Complete and utter control of everything. I find myself craving getting it back in the one consensual way I know how.

I’ve been craving some serious full bondage, complete restraint, like being locked in the bitch tamer or tied strong to our new bed. Just so completely bound that he cannot move, gagged so he can’t talk. The only sounds he can make are the whimpers and cries and slight pleas begging me to stop. I want to use him, spank him, fuck him, tease him and torture him until he is limp and sobbing. I want his complete body to be mine used, abused, raped consensually against his will. I want to feel his body give up against my aggressive, forcefull dominance.

I desperately need to feel like I control his pain, he pleasure, his teasing and his torture. That I am in control of everything in those few moments while I year him down to nothing but a blubbering, begging pile of a man, begging me to stop, begging me to stop.