Last Saturday the three of us headed back to our local monthly kink get-together at the bar, and it was exactly what we needed… low-key, relaxed, and genuinely enjoyable. We hung out for hours, had a couple of drinks, had some really good conversations, and once again closed the place down. There’s something comforting about being in a space where everyone understands the lifestyle and you can just be yourself.
This month carried a bit of extra anticipation. For the past six weeks we’ve been chatting with a new male friend who could potentially become a play partner – mostly for hubby, but kinda for all of us to enjoy the connection within our dynamic. Hubby has mentioned what he wants and needs in that area, and we’ve been very clear that nothing would happen unless I was fully comfortable with it. The new guy has been respectful of those boundaries from the start. I think he knows he’s not going to get to hubby without getting on my good side first and without making sure in comfortable with him. Our new friend knows he’s not getting what he wants from me and especially not John and who he really wants it from basically needs to be approved by me.
We finally met him in person, and it went well. It was comfortable, friendly, and pressure-free. No big sparks or instant magic, but also no awkwardness or red flags and that’s the way it should be. It was just solid conversation and getting to know each other in real life. We also reconnected with some wonderful friends from a couple months ago when we went and made a couple of brand-new connections too. All in all, a really nice night.
Now that we’ve met face-to-face, we’re reflecting on next steps. Hopefully, I didn’t do anything to scare him off but from the little I’ve spoken to him since he seems like he is really looking forward to getting together again… Not in a bar setting. Also, it’s not just me or him in this, what it really comes down to is whether hubby was interested in seeing where things can go with him. He will have to move this forward, I’m not forcing anyone into anything they truly do not want to be forced into doing lol.
We believe strongly in clear, honest communication and not leading anyone on. If this connection develops into something more, wonderful, we’ll move forward at a pace that works for everyone. But if it doesn’t (and that’s completely okay), we want to be upfront about it sooner rather than later. No one deserves to be left wondering.
One of the best parts of these gatherings is the reminder that not every new meeting has to turn into something big. Sometimes it’s enough to enjoy good company, have meaningful conversations, and walk away with clearer boundaries and a few new friends.
We’ll keep you posted if anything develops, but for now we’re grateful for another pleasant night, for the friends, and for a relationship dynamic that lets us explore safely and honestly.
Michele
