Mail Chastity: Guilt

Posted by Michele on April 6, 2017
Posted in: KeyHolder, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

Quick Cummer

Posted by JonMustWait on April 1, 2017
Posted in: Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

A lot of readers/followers ask me how I manage not to cum immediately during sex when I’m being denied orgasm. It’s not that easy, and to be perfectly honest, I’m really not good at it at all. I’m not sure if it’s the denial that makes me more sensitive and ready, or if it’s just the fact that ML’s pussy feels that amazingly good; either way, I can’t manage more than five or six good thrusts before I need to stop.

It’s too bad it’s not as simple as looping a gif!

There are a couple of positions where I can kinda avoid cumming right away, but other than that, it happens VERY quickly. I’m really lucky that ML isn’t disappointed by my performance… in fact, she takes it as a compliment. As she should: either she’s doing a great job teasing me, or her pussy is doing a great job getting me off!

Sometimes, though, I wish that I could flick a switch and not be so “hair-triggered.” There are times where I know ML wants a good pounding, and I feel bad when I’m not able to provide. The other night, ML got me dunk enough where I couldn’t cum and she took advantage of it by using my cock hard… the only problem being that I can’t remember it! Although I’m glad she got her “fill” of my non-cumming cock, I wish I could remember what it was like.

I Don’t Know You in Real Life

Posted by Michele on March 27, 2017
Posted in: Off Topic. Tagged: , , . Leave a Comment

I know we haven’t posted in a bit and we’ve been a little quiet on Twitter the last couple days, but it’s ok! We are alive and well and enjoying a nice vacation back home in New York! We decided to take a few days to head back to see family since it’s been about a year and a half since we’ve been to the city to see anyone.

I appreciate the text messages, DM’s and emails asking if we are ok! It is so wonderful to be cared about by so many! It’s crazy that pretty much 99% of you we do not really know, especially in real life but you still care when we seemingly aren’t around for a few days! I promise you we are good! We stopped and spent a couple days with some kinky friends (in a vanilla way, due to the kids) and then headed off to NY. We will be here for a couple days and then head back to our kinky friends house for a few days again before heading home next weekend. Once we get back things will be crazy and lots of changes happening but all good changes!

I did realize after we left that I forgot the Mic to do a podcast with our kinky friends but it’s all good, maybe next time… They will be out to see us in May, I believe. 🙂 

Feel free to messages or write us anytime, we do loving hearing from you all! 

Where the Frustration Is

Posted by JonMustWait on March 17, 2017
Posted in: Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , . 3 comments

When I’m being denied orgasm by My Lady, it isn’t hard for her to find ways to frustrate me. Having my cock locked in my steel Jailbird is an obvious place to start, and bringing me as close to orgasm as possible without giving me one is also extremely effective. I’ve been finding, though, that being edged is sort of a mini-tension release in itself – not as good as an orgasm, of course, but my body does “enjoy” it.

After being denied so often and edged as much as I have been, maybe I’ve found some sort of comfort in it. But ML always finds ways to keep my sexual tension level high. Nowadays, stopping short of edging seems to be even more frustrating than edges themselves.

I had the day off from work yesterday, and ML took advantage of the kid-less household to drive me a little crazy. She spent most of the morning keeping my dick hard, not allowing it to get soft for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when she had to run out for an errand, she left me with instructions to keep myself hard while she was gone. She didn’t edge me once the entire morning, and it wasn’t long before I was going crazy. My cock was an aching, dripping mess in my underwear, and My Lady enjoyed watching me suffer through every minute of it.

After a rough week at work, I was very much looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Will I have the relaxation I was hoping for? Or will ML see exactly how effective this new form of frustration can be?

Male Chastity – Lock Him Up and Throw Away the Key

Posted by Michele on March 11, 2017
Posted in: Advice, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

In Search of Intensity

Posted by JonMustWait on March 9, 2017
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , , , . 1 comment

ML’s last post was about the search for balance. Recently, I’ve been wanting to search for something else: intensity.

Don’t get me wrong at all – our sex life is pretty damn intense as it is. In fact, ML and I often joke about how, when other guys say that they wish they could be as lucky as I am, that they might have second thoughts once they realize just how passionate My Lady is when it comes to dominating me. Sometimes it’s a miracle that I can handle it!

So, there’s no shortage of awesome sex in our household. But there are certain things that I miss, particularly about when we first started our “rekindling.” Some examples:

– squirting: ML’s ability to squirt is still pretty impressive, but there were times where ML’s pussy would squirt like a fountain and soak the seat of my car on our date nights.

– ML’s spontaneous orgasms: I remember making eye contact with ML from across the room and watching her as she made herself cum without touching her pussy or anything, just using her imagination to get herself off. I was so turned on by that… and jealous, too!

ML and I talked about these things the other night, and we realized that yes, those were very intense times for our relationship. Things were new, fun, and exciting… dare I say, could it be that things have gotten… STALE?

Okay, it’s not THAT bad… sex with ML is still pretty fucking amazing. But yeah, things are less intense than they were.

After some more talking (communication, people, it works, hehe), we realized what has changed: we aren’t doing the “little lovey” things we used to do. Things like leave each other tiny love notes here and there, the “non-sexual” hugs and kisses (that eventually lead to sex, but weren’t intended for that), and other tiny gestures that feed the emotional connection of our marriage.

You see, My Lady has an interesting mental/physical connection – when she feels emotionally in tune with me, she gets really really horny… and unbelievably wet. Like, seriously, it’s like a flood in her panties. And it’s this connection that leads to those intense moments. So, we’ve decided to try to bring those feelings and those moments back… not just for more squirting and orgasms-on-demand, but because our marriage and our love truly flourishes when we focus on those things.

Of course, those other pussy-related results would be great perks, as well. 🙂

Finding the Necessary Balance

Posted by Michele on February 28, 2017
Posted in: Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

Vanilla, Kinky, Marriage, Kids – It’s a balancing act. As you know we recently started going to some munches and getting together with new friends in our kinky world, not to mention we bought a new house and our kids activities all week after school and on weekends. Life has felt much like a whirlwind and slightly like trying to balance spinning plates on poles – I’ll have to admit I’m not that great at balancing. In the one who troops and falls UP the stairs lol. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the little behind the scenes things that need to happen in life to make things go smoothly. 

It’s really awesome having friends and we love getting together with them and going to munches but for a bit there I really felt like so much of my time was looking for ways to get rid of the kids for the night so we could go to munches or other kinky events. I started to feel like I was missing and losing out on the family time with my husband and kids that is so very important while they are this age. It felt like every weekend we were constantly running and doing something or going somewhere. 

In the midst of kids and life and going out and getting involved in all these new fun things our kinky play together has gotten lost… again balance! It’s been extremely hard to find time for family time, kinky time, vanilla hubby/wife time, friend time… all of it. I get feelings of inadequacy when I can’t make time for it all, when I can’t find the necessary balance to fit it all in. I’m sure people have noticed that I’ve pulled back a bit, I’m not as active as I was, I’m not as chatty as I was. I’m still struggling to find what I need to make it all work and, right now, I’m trying to focus on my family, my kids, buying this house and all the little things that come along with that and getting back my kinky time with cagedmonkey. I miss it… I miss the intense tease and denial and the playtime we would have. I miss being crazy horny for each other all the time. There are things I miss that we would do more consistently. We keep trying to get in rope trial time and just the different things we enjoy about our kink. It just feels like it is constantly getting set aside because there is something else that needs to come first… Like sleep, work, kids, whatever.

Anyway, just letting you all in to where I am and how I’ve been feeling. I’m working to pull those things together and find that balance and I know I will I just feel like I suck at it right now and I’m letting every one down. 

Teasing and Edging

Posted by Michele on February 21, 2017
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

I’ve spent the last few days teasing, stroking, using and edging cagedmonkey’s achy cock. As you know I have told him that he won’t be cumming until we are in our new house!! Hehe

I’ve had a lot of fun having him unlocked, at night, the past few days. The night before last I think I stroked and edged him close to a hour. He went from wriggling around and moaning to pretty much passing out on me. It was actually such a great feeling that I was doing that to him. I was taking him to a place that he couldn’t escape from. Such an amazing amount of power to get someone to that point. At least that is how it feels to me. I really do love the power and control that I have over cagedmonkey sexually. It drives me, gives me passion and propose. 

I’m SO lucky to have him and that he enjoys the tease and denial and the level of intense control I have over his sexual bits! 

The Deal

Posted by JonMustWait on February 5, 2017
Posted in: In Real Life. Tagged: , , , , . 4 comments

So, My Lady and I are buying a house.

Trust me, we are surprised as to how quickly it happened, too!

ML and I have been “window shopping” for houses for a little while, fantasizing about setting up our own little playroom in an extra bedroom. But we weren’t getting all that deep into it just yet. We were eyeing a house here and there, but there weren’t many that were all that interesting… and the ones that were kept getting sold before we could even go and see them!

And so it went until yesterday, when we lined up a few houses to go see with our real estate agent. The first two were nothing special, but the last one we saw had that “feeling” to it – I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, “Yeah, I could totally live here.” On the way back home, ML and I decided to put an offer in on the house.

ML called our agent when we got in the door; she had bad news – the sellers had gotten an offer that morning and had already sent out a counter offer! I mean, seriously… does everyone just automatically want what we want?

So, missed out again, right?

Oh no… not this time.

ML and I decided that we wanted this house. So we said, “screw that ‘counter offer’ noise, we’re buying this house.” We called the real estate agent back and told her to put in an offer – hey, if it ain’t sold yet, it ain’t sold!

We knew it was a race against time – if the other buyer accepted the counter offer, it didn’t matter if we offered the moon. We weren’t going to get into a bidding war, however – if they countered our offer, we were ready to walk away. So we put our offer in, and waited…

… we waited about five minutes before we got a call back.

Offer accepted!

That wasn’t the only deal that went down yesterday: during our celebratory sex, I really wanted to cum. So ML said she’d allow me to, but my next orgasm would have to be in our new house. Of course, I took the deal.

According to our signed offer, closing is in 60 days…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Posted by JonMustWait on January 31, 2017
Posted in: Male Chastity, Tease/Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

Last night, My Lady finally unlocked me after 30 days of 24/7 chastity. She also allowed me inside her pussy. She also allowed me to cum inside her.

What a relief!

I was a little bit nervous that, after a month of no erections, that it would be a little painful – in the past, I’ve been able to feel the skin on my cock stretching after such a long time without getting hard. It was only temporary, but it wasn’t very pleasant. But, thankfully, there was none of that this time around. The only problem was the issue of hairiness – I wasn’t able to shave everywhere with the cage on, so I have about a month of overgrowth down there. I didn’t get a chance to take care of it, because I was back in the cage this morning before leaving for work.

So, who knows… I may end up with another month of growth down there before I get a chance to shave… or more?