control

All posts tagged control

Mail Chastity: Control and Training

Posted by Lady M on July 18, 2015
Posted in: D/s, Mail Chastity, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

We were recently asked a bunch of questions from a guy on Fetlife and they were such wonderful questions that I knew we had to take the time to answer them here. Since there are so many, we will be breaking them up over a couple Mail Chastity posts. We are also doing this because some are aimed at me, being the one in control and some to cagedmonkey, being the one controlled and locked in chastity.

Please feel free to ask us anything you like, we really do love interacting with our readers and answering questions. Any questions are ok from general to personal. What would you like to know?

A gentleman from Fetlife asks:

What is it like to have that control over a man?

The best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels powerful. Emotionally I feel strong, empowered, important, wanted, desired and needed. Physically I feel this tingling sensation, this warm rush comes over me and the feelings of power flow through my body. My heart beats a little faster and it’s almost like I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes it’s even a bit overwhelming and I have to stop myself and back up for a second or two.

We’ve only been doing this, at this intensity level, for a couple years and only recently have I allowed my natural aggressiveness come out so it can still get overwhelming for me at times. But, cagedmonkey and I both say, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon so we have plenty of time to enjoy this I the time that is right for us.

How long did it take to train him to withhold orgasm…because you do allow him sex, right?

First of all, yes, I do allow him sex. Our “sex” happens daily but it’s not the same sex we had before chastity. It’s much more intimate and meaningful and doesn’t necessarily include intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse, daily. It just depends on what is happening or how I’m feeling because I’m in control of our sexual pleasure.

As for training, there wasn’t much actual training other than practice. Orgasm denial was something cagedmonkey experimented with before he and I met and it’s something we’ve played with the entire 15 years we’ve been together. The past two years there has been a lot of edging and denial and I think, over time, he gets better and better at recognizing his orgasm and where the edge is and he’s learned that feeling of going too far.

I do think a man could be trained in time, with repeated edging and denial, to be able to hold off longer and longer. Denial also makes holding off that much harder. It’s a bit of a double edged sword but possible.

I hope this helped answer his questions and if any of our Dom/Domme readers would like to add their thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!

Feeling My Control

Posted by Lady M on July 16, 2015
Posted in: Bondage, Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

A little while ago we took a small break from, “you’ll be locked XX long…” and “you won’t cum for XX days…” and things got very relaxed and unknown and, dare I say, UNFRUSTRATING. It was ok and it was nice not to have to plan things out for a bit but it also made me realize I actually enjoy planning things out. I enjoy knowing what I will be doing next and, even if I decide to change things along the way, having a basic plan for things makes things more comfortable for me and cagedmonkey (I think). A few weeks ago I decided that, as a couple doing the male chastity thing, we needed some good intense D/s feelings. I wanted cagedmonkey to feel a deep sense of my control. With the relaxed unknown there also seemed to be less feeling of control.

To put that sense of control back in full force, I decided to keep cagedmonkey locked 24/7 in his Jail Bird with zero release. I figured a good month would get him in the proper, super horny and submissive mindset. Well it certainly has not taken that long to get his dick to understand as he wrote. I actually love that he is back to being full time horny as fuck and dripping precum!

Not only did I feel we needed some cage time without parole but I knew with the relaxed attitude and everything else going on (ie. Job searching, moving, etc) that the dominance and intensity level were sinking. I think we’ve both felt it. I mean, we both know who’s in charge, but the servicing and pleasing me part was quickly becoming nonexistent. I know why I backed down from the domination and it’s because cagedmonkey was already stressed out enough and, I feared, pushing him might cause some pretty bitchy behavior. I don’t like bitchy behavior.

So the other day, now that hubby’s new job and our new home is settled, I felt it was time to bring back the aggressive, domination. I started using cagedmonkey for my pleasure all day long and utterly frustrating him. His cage was pushing hard away from his body and his cock struggling so hard against the confines of his Jail Bird. I restrained him to the bed and visited very often using his face, caged cock and any other part of his body to get myself off. He was left there all day covered in my cum. He ultimately broke the cuffs that day, so we will have to get another pair that are comfortable enough for him to sleep in and for long term.

It’s been fun bringing back my dominance and letting out my aggressively horny self. I love the way he looks at me when I grab him and take him and get forceful and aggressive. That “holy shit I love this” look in his eye as I do things to him and make him please me just the way I want to be pleased.

I can’t get enough and I look forward to letting more of my natural aggressiveness take over in the coming weeks. I’ve got powerful cravings for power and control and dominance. Hubby has a week off at the end of July, too and I plan to take advantage of his time off work. 🙂

Fucking Machine Torture

Posted by Lady M on April 8, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

My whole body was sore after Sunday night. Cagedmonkey was only off one night this week due to some overtime at work so we made sure to make the best of it. Not to mention the illness and craziness of the past two weeks. We finally got a chance to try out the new Sneaky Pete sex machine. When I bought it, I made sure to purchase the Fleshlight and attachment so I could tease and torment the hell out of him whether he was locked in the stockade or just pinned against the couch.

So the other night (as I was live tweeting his teasing) I made him head to the store to get the White Lithium grease we needed to lubricate the machine. We got it set up – literally took 5 mins – and positioned correctly for optimal torture of the man parts. You absolutely need to make sure there is lube both in the Fleshlight and on the penis when using the machine and be prepared to add lube as you go along. It soaks in rather quickly since it must be water based and the machine is non-stop.

I swear cagedmonkey was just hard with anticipation of the torture that was to come. The fucking machine has a dial in which to adjust the speed. It can go from 0-200 thrusts per minute. I sure did test those out on hubby. It was so much fun to go really really fast and suddenly stop, which was something that impressed me about the machine. It responds well to the turn dial and that helped when I certainly didn’t want to accidentally push him over the edge. Since I wasn’t the one feeling his body reactions with my hand I had to rely on his sounds and facial expressions. It worked really well!
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I noticed how wet my pussy was getting while having that dial in my hand, controlling whatever pleasure or torment I wanted cagedmonkey to feel. My pussy literally quivered every time he would moan and whimper as he got closer to the edge. Hehe damn I love the way that sounds! Anyway, as much as I would like to explain it with my words, I was not the one feeling it so you will have to ask cagedmonkey to write a hot sexy “tortured cock” post about how it felt to have that machine thrusting at him. I can just imagine the mindfuckery that was happening there.
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The best I can do is post the video I took so you can watch a small portion of the torment cagedmonkey went through the other night. I truly look forward to many more nights of using this machine for more than just torturing his cock. I plan to use it while I force him to watch me get fucked. I plan to use a probe and restrain him in the doggystyle bondage stockade and violate him… endlessly because the machine will not tire. I cannot wait to hear him beg me to make it stop while I giggle at him enduring whatever torment I want to entertain myself with.

Enjoy!

Pegging Preparations

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 2, 2015
Posted in: Anal, FemDom, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . 10 comments

My Lady just instructed me to put in the small butt plug – just in case she she decides to peg my ass later tonight, she wants me to be ready. 🙂

The small butt plug isn’t all that uncomfortable anymore. I’ve gotten used to the size of it, although the stimulation on my prostate is quite intense.. especially after a month without release. It’s a different experience without the cage on, as my cock tends to stay at least half hard with the constant anal stimulation.

The large butt plug (which ML may have me use later, if she desires) is a different story. The huge head on it really stretches me out and I really have to take it slow to be able to insert it. Once it’s in, it takes a moment or two to adjust to being filled up so much inside. After that, it’s almost more of a pain the remove it than to keep it in (literally).

ML hasn’t pegged me in a while, but she  has wanted to ever since the new steel collar arrived. She has already used the collar on me as a way to control me, grabbing it and using it to pull me in for a kiss or a pussy lick, etc. But she hasn’t used it as a “pegging handle” yet. I’m wondering if tonight is the night.

Comforted by Control

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 17, 2015
Posted in: D/s, FemDom, Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

I was a little disappointed with how our lost weekend went. I was really looking forward to having every aspect of my life controlled by ML (at least, what was possible, due to child interruptions). Work stuff doesn’t usually affect me at home, as I’m usually good with “leaving it at the office,” but this ended up being a particularly bad day.

One thing I will say is that the bits of control that we were able to do really comforted me and calmed me down. It wasn’t so much a sexual thing because my horny had been ruined by “dude’s bleeding to death” as ML put it. I can’t even really describe it all that well. Wearing the collar, serving My Lady, and following her instructions… it all just made me feel at peace.

I think it’s because that’s who I really am at heart. I really was made to be ML’s subby hubby, and nothing makes me feel better than filling that role. When I’m submitting to her, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. And although it might not fix everything about a bad day, it will always be that bright spot in my life that I can turn to.

The Gift of Total Submission

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 13, 2015
Posted in: D/s, Female Led Relationship, FemDom. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 comments

This weekend, I will be giving My Lady the perfect present for Valentine’s Day – I will be giving her complete control over me.

ML and I have been finding our way back into our D/s lifestyle pretty well, but we both feel that a nice intense jolt will get us back into form.

This weekend, I will be submitting fully to My Lady in every way. Everything from my movements around the house to the sexual sensations I experience will be controlled by my wife. Here are the rules I will be expected to follow:

1. I will be required to ask permission for any of the following behaviors – waking up, going to sleep, eating and/or drinking, using the bathroom, or leaving the room (which will require a kiss as “payment”). I will also be required to ask ML if she has a preference as to where I sit or stand.

2. I will only touch My Lady when and if she allows me to.

3. I will be wearing my collar the entire weekend, it will be locked on 24/7 for the entire time of my total submission.

4. I must service ML sexually by any means she deems necessary, as well as enduring whatever sexual torments she desires to put me through.

I’m already excited about this weekend, and I’m looking forward to seeing just how far she goes with the concept of total submission.

“I Need This Damn Cage Off My Cock!”

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 12, 2015
Posted in: Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, FemDom, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

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It’s been about a week straight that I’ve spent locked in the Revenge now. Yes that means 24/7, one whole week of not even being able to see, let alone touch my cock. It’s starting to drive me a little mad, to the point of I have to say “about a week” because I can’t remember the exact day this started because it feels like such a long fucking time.

Making things worse is the timing of ML’s cycle denying me of my other avenue of release of sexual tension – pleasing My Lady’s horny pussy. Oh, don’t get me wrong, she’s had her share of orgasms. She has managed to get along just fine without me touching her pussy, which kinda rubs it in my face even more. It makes me wish I could cum without touching myself, because I really fucking need to right now.

Yesterday, ML spent the whole day incredibly turned on. We were doing what we call an “extra control” day, in which I need to ask her permission for a lot more things than normal. She also has a tendency to either say no or delay giving me what I want for just a little bit, just because she can (hot as fuck). For example, she gave me a stern look when I forgot to ask her if I could play a game on my cell phone, instructing me to do the dishes instead before I was allowed to play. Holding this type of control over me keeps her horny brewing all day long, and she unleashed it on me after the kids went to bed.

The extra control day was the result of me disclosing a couple of switch fantasies I’ve been having lately (that’s a whole other post, altogether). They were some pretty intense thoughts, and ML felt that she needed to keep her “naughty boy and his naughty thoughts” in line.

(Note: I fucking absolutely LOVE My Lady, because she made sure to let me know out-of-role beforehand that I she wasn’t really upset, and she was using the term “naughty” in a playful way. She loves hearing my fantasies, and actually requires that I share them with her. She also knew that I needed to know this in order to avoid a debilitating shame spiral. She really is the fucking best thing ever, I swear!)

After the entire day of controlling me exactly the way she wanted to, she decided she needed to complete my lesson and give her naughty boy a good spanking. She ordered me to lay bare assed over her knee and began spanking me pretty hard. The sting of the smacks built up until I was squirming on her lap after each sway. She continued spanking my ass as she worked the butt plug in and out of my ass at the same time (yes, that too… I am required to ask permission to use the bathroom during extra control days). I was moaning and writhing on the couch as the pain of being spanked mixed with the sensation of being repeatedly penetrated by the plug.

My Lady continued to spank my ass, not even saying a word. Soon, it really began to hurt and I needed her to stop. I asked…. begged her to stop, but she continued. Then I realized what I needed to do.

I apologized. I said I was sorry for being a naughty boy. These were the magic words My Lady was waiting for; she began telling me how naughty I was for fantasizing about her in the ways I did. She spanked me hard as she told me to admit that I’m a dirty little boy with a dirty little mind, and I said so without any hesitation.

Finally, the spankings stopped. She didn’t let me off her lap for just a few more moments, and it occurred to me that she was taking pictures of my nicely reddened ass for her enjoyment later.

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She certainly did enjoy them later, as she had three more orgasms as she laid back on the couch and I rubbed her pussy and kissed her, the last of which ended up being a HUGE one triggered by me shoving my finger into her pussy with perfect timing. She came hard, her entire body tensing up as she looked directly into my eyes. Her pleasure was so intense, I could feel it taking her over and flowing right from her eyes into mine. It was an incredible feeling!

We both woke up incredibly horny this morning, which prompted the title of this post being my first thought of the day. I may be getting my wish later today, as I need a shave badly… but ML has told me that I still won’t be able to see or touch my cock until our anniversary. Is she planning a “no look, no touch” grooming session?

This Lady has a Sadistic Side – Erotic Asphyxiation and Breath Control

Posted by Lady M on December 3, 2014
Posted in: Breath Control. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 9 comments

Let me start this post with a Disclaimer of sorts – We are not a professionals, everything we do I research well and use trial and error and explore carefully. Lady & her lovely CagedMonkey take no responsibility for people being stupid and trying something without learning the dangers. FYI: Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath control can be dangerous. Other than that, enjoy! 🙂

I was talking to a guy the other day who is interested in trying out Breath play – aka Erotic Asphyxiation. So we’re just talking about choking someone, right? No, not really, it’s actually a bit more than that. Just incase there are some kinky folks reading this that are not quite sure what this is all about, let me first, explain what it is.

Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath Control is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is said that, the carotid arteries (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten sexual sensations. It’s also stated that, when the brain is deprived of oxygen, it induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Combined with orgasm, the rush is said to be no less powerful than cocaine, and highly addictive.

Sounds intense, right? It really is… the part this doesnt describe is how it feels for the person actually causing the restriction of oxygen. In my relationship, I’m the dominant one and I’m the one who likes this and wants to do this. I introduced it to hubby. I restrict oxygen to his brain in a few different ways. I use my big breasts or my stomach to smother him and block his nose and mouth from inhaling. I use my pussy or my ass as well, during facesitting to cut off and control his breathing. Lastly, I choke him or more simply put use both hands at the sides of his neck to push in at his coratids to restrict the blood flow. I do it this way so I do not crush his windpipe.

So in my conversation with this Dom gentleman we got to talking about what he finds hot!
He said, “I’m interested in the choking part. Looking at her face with my hands around her neck and my cock pounding her pussy. To me that very exciting.”

God that sounds hot, I’ve choked hubby and that is so sexy… seeing that fear in his eyes while my hands clenched his throat. When I can see his face it’s awesome, the fear, the glistening of his eyes, the helplessness. I’ve done this once while pegging my hubby “missionary” too, it is such a huge rush and incredibly hot.

With choking… I stay away from the windpipe altogether, instead I push on his coratid arteries on the side of his neck with the side of my hands. It’s so hard to explain, but I wrap my fingers around the side and my thumbs are across his trachea. I push my fingers toward each other, into his neck to push on the arteries and block the flow of blood. I do not push in with my thumbs because that is painful and potentially deadly… you want to cut oxygen not cause actual pain or injury.

When we started this type of play it was trial and error. Once I realized what it did to me, which I’ll explain in a minute, I started researching. Of course, you know this Lady, always researching everything lol. At first I wasnt sure what would cause the wrong kind of pain, where to push etc and cagedmonkey and I set up a little signal depending on what I was doing. He would signal by tapping my butt with a certain rhythm if I was facesitting, a thumbs up giving me the ok to go further or thumbs down to stop if I was choking him.

The first time it happened it didn’t last long, the feelings scared the shit out of me and even caused a huge Domme Drop episode. We talked a lot and I did my research after that we slowly played and built up the length of time I would restrict him. Each time we played I got this huge rush and an extremely drippy wet pussy. The feelings of power are almost overwhelming and I had to take it slow. You can actually SEE the eyes lose focus and glisten when they get right on the edge of consciousness. I can feel a power come over me like a wave. I practically start to chuckle and lose my breath. I get caught up in my own feelings that sometimes I cant let go and instincely squeeze harder. I do try to catch myself before that happens. Cagedmonkey has described it to me as him seeing me kinda getting foggy to him. I can see it happen in his eyes and the thrill is so amazing! I have to be careful because I’m sure bad things could happen if I was to get too lost and forget his life is in my hands. 🙂

This Dom gentleman also asked, “Would fucking her while I sat in a chair and her straddling me with my hand over her mouth and pinching her nose work??”

I think this is something you could manage, but it be better if her back were against something, unless you are wanting her to pull away. When I play with hubby where I am restricting his actual air flow he will start to jerk and instinctively pull away and try gasping. Sometimes he will begin to thrash around and I have to hold my hubby down. So, in my opinion, to really have a good go at this you would want the receiver under you or pinned against something like the back of the couch. Plus, I mean look at the dynamic, how powerful it is to be on top of someone, holding them down, controlling their consciousness.

Again, I want to warn that this is a very delicate thing and you should use extreme caution. Please do not try these things unless you have done some research. Be safe and Enjoy! 🙂

 

Truly Controlled

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 29, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 1 comment

Over the past few days, I’ve really been feeling the “enforced” part of our enforced chastity lifestyle. The last couple of days have been really rough. I’m definitely in that “I want out so badly” zone right now. I guess ten straight days of 24/7 locked in chastity will do that sort of thing.

It’s pretty much as bad as I can remember it right now. I know that I’m only about halfway to my prior longest 24/7 period, but I dunno… something about this time is just making it so difficult to deal with! My Lady has been extra physical and lovey with me lately: we’ve been cuddling naked in bed on the nights I’m home, and I’m giving her orgasms almost constantly throughout the day. I smell her pussy on my hands, I taste her on my lips. I cannot get her sex off my mind. She is also demanding more submissive behaviors from me, which I am gladly fulfilling.

I think the hardest part is how she had been telling me that she wants to unlock me so bad, to feel my cock deep in her pussy, to fill her up with my cum… join the club, ma’am! 😉 I can feel the want and desire that she has for me; it’s real, it’s not a put on. She really wants my cock. However, my subtle reminders that she can have it whenever she wants have not been successful. The cage is still locked on; her resolve is much stronger than mine would be.

But that is why she controls me: she knows that if she makes me wait just a little longer, the increase in intensity will be worth it. She knows that when she unlocks me, when my cock gets full and hard for the first time in weeks, when I feel her warm wet pussy squeeze my shaft… the longer she makes us wait, the more incredible it will be.

I wouldn’t have waited this long; I know that because my begging and pleading has been genuine for days now. I need to be released, badly… but I will only my released it when my keyholder needs it, too.

Devotion (or, How I Helped My Keyholder Keep My Cock Locked Up When I REALLY WANTED TO BE RELEASED!!!!!)

Posted by cagedmonkey on August 24, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 7 comments

It’s getting close to two weeks now since I’ve had any time at all with the Jailbird off.

Yes, I want out.

Yes, I want to cum.

No, My Lady won’t allow it yet.

This is the exciting part for me – I genuinely want out of this cock cage and I honestly want to cum nice and hard, preferably deep inside ML’s wet and horny pussy. My requests to be released have slowly gone from the joking “Hey, can I cum tonight? Ha ha, didn’t think so” variety to the “Ok, seriously now, please at least give me a little bit of time out, I REALLY need it” type. The fact that My Lady is still in control of when and how I cum (as well as when my cock will get hard next) is the heart and soul of chastity. It’s happening, whether I want it to or not.

Which is what made this mornings’ events so difficult for me.

My Lady is going through a very “aggressive” phase of her horniness, which seems to be a pretty natural part of her horny cycle. Only this time, the intensity is off the fucking scale, I swear. She is constantly cornering me, all around the house, when I least expect it – pinning me up against a wall and forcing her tongue down my throat, pinching and squeezing my nipples, and rubbing my cage through my pants. I’m extremely reactionary to this treatment; in fact, I can’t help but moan loudly now when she touches my chest because my nipples are so sensitive from so much held back sexual frustration. It’s these moans and reactions, she tells me, that have been driving her desire through the roof.

This morning, when ML visited me before I went to sleep, she straddled me and began kissing me. She began grinding her hips down onto me, and I couldn’t help but thrust back against her. She let out a deep growl and began to squeeze my nipples as she kissed me, and I moaned throughout the kiss. This must have flicked a switch or something in her brain, because next thing I know, her hands are all over my body and she is thrusting harder at me, and she was making all kinds of sexy moans. When I looked into her eyes, though, I saw something I didn’t expect.

Pain.

Before I had a chance to ask what was wrong, she told me: “I need you. I need to fuck you. I need you inside me!”

Ummmmmm……. OKAY!

What I said instead (stupid, stupid!) was, “Are you sure that’s what you want?” ML stammered and babbled, but the most consistent part of her answer was, “I don’t know.”

The “fucking horny, needing to cum” part of my brain sensed an opening. I’m not proud, but I started trying to talk her into it. I tried everything. I reminded her that if she let me cum, there was still a good four months left in the year to deny me. I told her she could just unlock me and let me inside her pussy… knowing full well that it wouldn’t stop there, but hey, gotta get your foot in the door, right? I begged her just to take the cage off, just so she could play with me and touch my hard cock that she was missing so much. She kissed me deeply and sensually, perhaps mainly to get me to stop talking.

I sensed she was wavering.

Then, she abruptly broke the kiss and leapt off of the bed. Heading for the door, she said over her shoulder, “Okay, I have to leave the room, right now! Or else, I might… I dunno, I might….” and she trailed off as she closed the door.

Fuck, I thought, I missed my opportunity.

Then I got a text message on my phone on the nightstand: I can’t do this baby. I can’t not have you….

I wrote back: If you really REALLY want my help here, I will back off and let you cool off. Is that what you want?

Her response: That’s my problem, I just don’t know….

I texted her back and told her that whatever her decision was, I would be okay with it. That’s why I gave her complete control like this. I’m fine with whatever she chooses, as long as she chooses. I told her that if she needed to, that she should put the key away somewhere out of her reach if she feels she is too tempted to use it. Because if she came upstairs again with the key, I wasn’t going to ask her if she wanted my help resisting again.

Honestly, I couldn’t. I wanted to cum too much. It was real. The need was just too great to resist. Itw as a miracle that I even stepped back as much as I did and gave her room to breathe. I think that if I had pushed harder, I may have gotten her to break. She was THAT much off balance. But, as much as I wanted to be unlocked and to finally feel an orgasm course through my body, to feel that release of cum as my cock gives in to the pleasure… I didn’t want to take her control back.

She didn’t come up to visit me again.

Again… fuck, I missed my opportunity. 🙂

When I came down later, I asked ML how she was feeling. She responded with a kiss and a cage squeeze, but I could feel her energy – much more dominant, much more controlled, extremely stable. My Lady was back. She had a moment of weakness, but she made it… along with help from an surprising source.