marriage

All posts tagged marriage

How Did Lady M and Cagedmonkey Meet?

Posted by Lady M on January 19, 2015
Posted in: Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , . 8 comments

Over the past couple days, with our marriage vow renewal on everyone’s minds, we’ve been asked multiple times about how cagedmonkey and I met and how he proposed. Of course, those questions came from the people in our vanilla life so they get the vanilla version. We met playing a puzzle/riddle game online, became great friends, met in person, fell in love and the rest is history. Well, I don’t think any one knows the real kinky story so why not take a few minutes and share with our amazing kinky friends and readers!?

It is true that cagedmonkey and I met innocently enough, playing a puzzle/riddle game online. I needed help with a puzzle one night and he happened to be there to help me. We started chatting about the game and then on to other things. We chatted more and more each day, getting to know more and more about each other. I think he loved that he was smarter and much better at the puzzles than me. 🙂

At the time I was very newly out of a long relationship and was no where near looking for a guy. I was busy being depressed and playing on the internet all day. Add that to the fact that I found out cagedmonkey was 19, I really was not interested. I tried everything I could to tell this kid I was totally bad for him. I told him I was way too sexually experienced for him, tattooed, pierced, that I had all kinds of baggage and mental issues no one would want to deal with. I tried very hard to push him away by telling him all the “bad” things about me. I told him how I was very jealous, possessive, controlling, etc. Hoping those things would freak him out and make him go away. In that first week I even showed him some nude pics of me from a porn photo shoot I did, trying to prove what a bad person I was. All those things did to him was intrigue him and cause him to be even more persistent. (Don’t ask, I have no idea what ever happened to those photos)

Fast forward to January 2000: After talking online and on the phone for months – yes we became very good friends – both vanilla and sexually, I hopped on a bus mid-January and decided to meet him in person. After a few little hiccups of where he was to pick me up and him locking his keys in his car, we finally found each other. Cagedmonkey was so nervous the very first thing he did was turn around and kiss me. Not word, but a kiss on the lips and his arms wrapped around me, he squeezed me like he’d been missing me forever. Looking back, it was an amazing accidental ice breaker. I’m pretty positive I said something like, “well… hello there!”

We walked together to his car just chatting like we’d been friends forever – we’ve always been able to talk and anything and everything for hours. Right when we got to the car he pushed me up against it and we made out in the parking lot like a couple of teenagers. He had paid for a motel room for me for the night at some cheesy motel not to far from his house. He had a basketball game to play in that night and he told his mom he’d be staying at a friend’s house for the night. I’m sure you know that’s not true. In the car, headed to check in at the motel, I might have mentioned the fact that I wasn’t wearing panties and could feel a cool breeze through a hole in my jeans. Haha so yeah, about 10 minutes after meeting me he was fingering my extremely wet pussy through the hole in the crotch of my jeans in his car.

We got checked in and went to the room and I’m sure I set my stuff down, immediately pulled his jeans down, sat him down on the bed and have him the best blow job he’d ever gotten. You’d have to ask him for sure. 🙂 After his basketball game and meeting his friends, we ended up spending one fantastic night together in that motel room. Yes, there was sex, really good sex and we slept together naked. He was the first man I’d ever slept together with naked and the last. When we got up the next morning I was standing there, getting dressed in the mirror, when cagedmonkey came up behind me, put his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. He looked me right in the eye and my heart melted in that moment and I knew I was in love with this man and wanted to be nowhere else in the world but right there in his arms. That moment will forever be etched in my memory.

Renewing Our Commitment

Posted by Lady M on January 18, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , . 10 comments

image

Today cagedmonkey and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. This morning we renewed our vows and our commitment to each other. This time around we each wrote our own vows and said them to each other during the ceremony. It’s been a beautiful day, it was a lovely ceremony and a delicious meal with friends and family after.

It’s has been a long road and, at times, a rough road. We’ve made it through it all and have come to a wonderful place. Today we recommit to those vows we made 12 years and the promise to walk with one another for the rest of our lives.

Mail Chastity: Questions From a Potential Keyholder

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 2, 2015
Posted in: Advice, Female Led Relationship, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

A friend of My Lady – who doesn’t happen to know about this blog – was chatting with her about male chastity. How the subject came up without mention of the blog is a mystery, but she asked her a few questions that I thought it might be helpful to answer here. And if ML’s friend happens upon this blog, thanks for the post material!

ML’s friend wants to introduce male chastity into her marriage. She wanted to have an idea of what to expect from certain aspects of chastity. She writes:

Going months without an orgasm – is that healthy?

First, I’m going to be a stickler for terms. There is absolutely no danger for a male to go any amount of time without an orgasm. Ejaculation is a different story: there is some evidence that frequent ejaculation decreases the probability of prostate illness, however there is also evidence that regular ejaculations increase prostate disease. When it comes down to it, nobody really knows. If you are interested in the “better safe than sorry” approach, there are ways to have a male ejaculate without a full orgasm (milking, ruined orgasms, etc.).

What effect does that have on him?

Long story short, it makes him fucking horny as hell. The male body craves orgasm constantly – it goes back to the primal urge to reproduce. The longer he goes without an orgasm, the more he’ll need it. Over time, he will recognize his keyholder (that would be you) as the source of his pleasure, and he will develop a submissive instinct and try to keep you pleased as a result of this. Some people have said that the increase in intensity of this reaction tapers off after a few months. I call BS on that. 🙂 Thanks to ML’s constant teasing, I’m still feeling that need to cum grow and grow every day.

How does a keyholder stay stasified without sex?

There are ways for a man to satisfy his woman other than with his cock! Tongue, fingers… there are many options. The most important thing is to redefine your idea of “sex.” For ML and I, we end up having sex all day long – for us, those hugs and kisses and loving touches are all part of us having sex.

With that said, I understand the desire ML has for a nice hard cock deep in her pussy. When she wants this, we have toys that we can use to satisfy this need. But sometimes, she just needs to feel my flesh. In that case, she unlocks me and uses my cock but doesn’t allow me to cum.

There are plenty of ways for you to get yours without letting him get his. 🙂

Mail Chastity has become a very popular subject on the blog. We’ve gotten lots of questions, either through email or Twitter, and we plan on doing more of these posts in the future. We could always use more questions to answer, though, so don’t hesitate to ask us anything!

You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me!

Posted by Lady M on December 22, 2014
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , , . 6 comments

So there I am drafting a great post on communication and how cagedmonkey and I just worked through a little issue of where he didn’t notice some old behavior creeping back in. We talked, I let him know how I felt and, Yay, better.

Well before writing said post I teased hubby a bit and told him to get himself nice and hard for me and keep himself that way… because I’d be in to use him soon… yeah, keep going baby… I’ll be right in, I promise… I’m almost done, I’ll be right there. Yeah, haha I made him keep stroking himself a bit before I headed down the hallway. About 1 minute into burying his big thick cock deep inside my pussy while on top I hear, “mama HELLLLLLLLLP!”
I loudly respond, dick inside me, “what do you need, honey?”
To which she says (with an echoish sound?), “mama please just come here…”
Fuck she’s in the bathroom, so I climb off cagedmonkey, thrown on whatever pants I grabbed off the floor, open the bedroom door to find my girl child had spilled her insides full of left over Chinese food from the living room, through the dining room, down the hallway and did manage to get some in the toilet too.

image

I REALLY did try to clean it up but gagged so bad doing it, I pissed my own pants hahahaha. Yup, I’m that awesome! So instead of napping, my super hero of a hubby was on his hands and knees cleaning our childs puke out of the carpet while I was changing my pants.

I’m pretty sure that diffused any amount of horny we had today… but then again, the day is only half over.

At Least I Wasn’t Naked

Posted by Lady M on December 16, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , , . 3 comments

I feel so very rushed this morning. I hate that, because normally I’m the completely prepared one with the lists and schedules and order in all I do. Not today though, I forgot to set the alarm, so instead I was woken up by a six year old handsome face asking if it was ok for him to wake up now. I looked at the clock and leapt out of bed because it was already time for him to be getting on the bus. Crap! Late for the bus means shoving something to eat in his face while throwing together a completely unhealthy lunch, sticking my naked feet in my boots with my pajamas on and driving him to school so he’s there on time.

Thank God I wasn’t naked describes it well, because flying out of bed like a crazy woman boobs flying would not have been a good thing haha. Usually when hubby is home for the night and sleeping in the same bed I’m so eager to sleep naked with him. I love feeling his skin against mine, it’s so sensual and feels so perfect against mine. It’s one of the most comforting places in the world.

If you read my last post you can tell that obviously life got in the way, which tends to happen more often than not, and things didn’t go as I’d hoped. It’s ok, I’m not devastated because I was needed. My sweet little guy was up hacking a lung almost all night so I was in and out of his room trying to help him. His stupid coughing made him throw up and really it was just a big fat turn off. So, as Tom Allen says to me often, kids are the ultimate arousal destroyer. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, I would die for them and I don’t blame them or get angry when my dreams for a hot sexy night don’t go as I hope.

I know we will have other nights, so many nights. We are not in a rush and not heading for a finish line. We enjoy this everyday, all day and will continue to for as long as we like. I hope that’s a long time because I do love it so very much. I love having my hubby locked up in his steel cage, horny and aching for me in every way. Is there really anything better than being completely and utterly desired, ladies?

Objectification

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 23, 2014
Posted in: Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

The word comes with such a negative connotation attached – objectification. You know what they say: Sexual attraction is superficial, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Love is emotional, it doesn’t require physical chemistry.

With all due respect to whoever agrees with this… are you fucking crazy?

Before we even began living our current chastity lifestyle, My Lady and I made a decision to take steps to improve our marriage. One of those steps included acknowledging that it’s okay for us to be hot and horny for each other. We both agreed that physical intimacy is pretty much a requirement in a healthy marriage, not just a fringe benefit. As part of this acknowledgement, we realized that it’s okay for each of us to see the other as what most people wold consider calling “sex objects.” I’ll explain.

I love my wife with all my heart. She is a wonderful, beautiful person who just gets me on an unspoken emotional and spiritual level. Having her in my life has allowed me to grow in ways I never thought I could. She is the best mother I could ever hope my children would have, and she does the most amazing things for my family.

With all of that said… she has a great set of tits and a sexy fucking ass that makes me drool. 🙂

But here’s my point – the fact that I check out her ass every time she leaves the room, or fantasize about fucking her huge titties whenever I see her cleavage, doesn’t take away from the fact that I love her soul. It only enhances it. It’s not like I have a certain amount of “love points” that I have to distribute between caring for my wife as a person and wanting to pound her pussy until she can’t walk straight. It’s another dimension of my love for her.

The reason I bring this up is that I had to remind ML about this the other day. We’ve been going through an awesome emotional connection time lately, where everything just feels perfect. We can feel the energy between us even when we are just sitting in the same room together. But I noticed that over the last few days, ML seemed to be over-accentuating our emotional connection. I asked her why that was.

She responded by telling me that she was having strong fantasies about tying me up and teasing me, feeling my cock struggle in the cage, and control me sexually in every way. Um…. so what’s the problem? (Hehe). She was trying to balance out those feelings of objectifying me with emotional rationalization. She explained it best with this text message, after I asked her why she wasn’t telling me about these thoughts:

Sometimes I feel like that’s all I’m telling you.. it’s true but I don’t want you to feel like I’m objectifying you constantly.

That’s so sweet of her. 🙂

The thing is, though, that I enjoy being objectified by her. Not all the time of course… I do need emotional support from my wife, as well. But it makes me feel good to know that sometimes she just can’t help but get turned on when thinking off me in a sexual way. In short, I like knowing that I make her pussy wet. [pic, for those of you who are into that sort of thing] 😉

I Asked For It

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 15, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

My Lady has had some emotional troubles lately, as women have been known to do during that time of the month (AMMIRITE GUYS?!? *crickets*….. what?). She’s worried about doing the wrong thing and driving me away from her. Considering the staggering amount of loss she has had to deal with over the past six months, you can’t blame her for expecting it to continue. And it’s very important that I tell her this one thing:

Quit worrying about stupid shit. 🙂

Ok, calm down everyone, that’s a joke. I’m not that big of an ass. My point is that she doesn’t have to worry about doing something to push me away, because everything she does lately only brings us closer together.

Putting all the sexual stuff side (briefly; this isn’t going to be a 100% gooey emotional post, I promise), she is a wonderful wife and mother. She takes care of our family like nobody else could. She helps me feel better after a really bad day at work. She handles the kids so much better than I do. She really is the glue that holds us all together. I couldn’t ask for anything more from her.

Speaking of asking for things from her (now it’s time for the sexual stuff)… I know that, from time to time, she worries about whether or not she’s doing the right thing with our chastity/OD lifestyle. She’s afraid of me resenting her for withholding my orgasms from me. But when she locks my cock in a cage, teases me until I’m on the edge of tears, and doesn’t let me cum for weeks on end, it just gets me more hooked on her. I don’t get upset about it; I feel I should be thanking her instead!

You know, it’s funny how our brains are on the same wavelength so often. Just the other day, I was talking to someone about how happy I am with my life. I didn’t get into details because this person hasn’t been read in on the “secret lives” we live, but the feeling also applies to my sex life – it’s the best it has ever been, EVER.

Over a year ago, I asked ML for this life – for her to control my entire sexuality. I wanted this. And, to be honest, it’s been more amazing than I could ever fantasize about, because I’m living it with the woman I love. I love what she does, and I love that she gets off on it, too! Anything and everything she does makes me want her even more.

Ok, so this pretty much was a gooey emotional post, but I couldn’t help it. 🙂

I Love Being a Cocktease!

Posted by Lady M on October 31, 2014
Posted in: Advice, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

What is a cocktease?

(n.) A Cock Tease is a woman who, from the male perspective, acts in a sexual manner with the intention of seducing a man, but without actually fulfilling the expected sexual actions.

(V.) To purposely become enticing to a male to the point of giving him a hardon, or in most cruel cases, blue balls, with no intention of follow through.

While looked at as a bad thing by some men, this is hot and exciting to those who realize the build up to orgasm is the best part of the sexual experience.

Being a cock tease comes naturally to me. I have always loved the act of seducing a man, the lead in, that build up of sexual tension. I have always been fantastic at it. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s a major turn on and a huge ego booster knowing that I can turn a guy on and get his cock rock hard. It’s especially hot if I can do that with my words or how I look or act. Turning a guy on and getting him hard to the point of frustration without even touching him really makes me feel powerful and in those moments, I am. I have complete control over the guy who is dangling from my sexual marionette strings. So, yes, I LOVE being a cocktease. <3

Now that I am married to a sweet, sexy submissive man who thrives on tease and orgasm denial, I get to live in that adrenaline rush from teasing a guy past the point of frustration. I get to enjoy that wonderful place of submission, that place where he is a puppet on my strings… waiting, wanting and needing me. That place where he craves me in every way, desires my attention and begs for my touch.

Having my man in chastity heightens that whole cocktease scenario. Locking your man’s cock in a cage holds that level of frustration, it keeps that feeling of arousal at a high without the let down of an orgasm. I love that I tease my husband all day, every day and keep him at the highest height of arousal possible. I know every woman out there loves when her guy is attentive, loving and romantic. When her guy is in that spot at the beginning of a relationship where he is constantly wooing her, telling her how he feels about her, how he loves her, how he wants her and how she turns him on. You know what I’m talking about, all those things a guy does just to get in your pants. It’s those things that make us women fall in love with you and desire you. Sure there are other things but, come on, you know when you are attentive and romantic to your Lady she wants you more sexually. The more a man caresses a woman emotionally, the more desire she has for him sexually.

The reason I wanted to write this post was because last night after cagedmonkey left for work I sat… alone… completely losing my horny feelings. My pussy just wasn’t all that wet anymore and my smile faded and so did those good feelings of being wanted and desired. My constant feelings of arousal were dissipating. I woke up this morning feeling disappointed because I wasn’t feeling that crazy horny feeling anymore.

I will say that I started to tingle when I got that morning text message:

Hey baby 🙂
How are you on this lovely lovely wonderful most awesomest morning, my sweet sensational love?

Eeeeeee! It only got better when the first thing that happened when he walked in the door was him stopping mid sentence to say:

Oh my God you look beautiful this morning.

Without another word or even putting his stuff down, he came over to me, put his hand around the back of my neck and kissed me as I was trying to tell him welcome home.

Seriously? Uhhhhhhhgh! That was that, my pussy got that warm tingly feeling inside and I knew I was instantly getting wet. I realized that my constant horny, crazy, neediness is fueled by my husband. It’s catapulted into the air and soars when I am with him. When he is stroking my emotions, petting them gently, he is causing a physical reaction in me. I love it more than I could possibly explain in words.

Boys, I can’t say it enough… never, never ever ever stop “dating” your Lady. Don’t ever, ever ever ever, stop “trying to get in her pants” – EMOTIONALLY! She will think you’re irresistible! She will want you, desire youand want to please you sexually more often.

Memories and a Good Hard Fucking From Behind

Posted by Lady M on September 25, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . 7 comments

If you all can peel yourselves away from my big sexy boobies for just one minute lol I thought I would write 🙂

First of all I absolutely hate packing and moving. Our house looks like a tornado came through it because I have to sacrifice cleaning to pack or packing to clean. Trying to live in a house with two young kids while also trying to pack it up is like a dog chasing it’s tail.

Anyway, there is a good part to all of this moving stuff. We’ve decided to go through stuff and throw out a lot of old crap from childhood because what’s the use of keeping stuff in boxes? We are done with holding on to the past with material things. (Bear with me there is a sexy part to this post haha) There are, however, some things we’ve come across from our more recent past that we are keeping. We found pictures, letters and even some sex coupons that I sent to cagedmonkey when we first got together. It made us realize that this kinky side of us was always here inside us. Not that we had explored it much back then because we know it wasn’t the right time but it was there. I had made him coupons that said “a night of teasing while restrained” and other stuff like that. It was so awesome to find those things to remind us that, even almost 15 years ago, we were meant to be together. We also found our wedding pictures and our unity candle (which we need for January!) and, of course, I was getting all emotional remembering how much I love this man.

I guess getting all emotional was a good thing for cagedmonkey because I also got very horny! Haha that night we decided to unwind with a few drinks and just have a nice relaxing sexy night. Well let’s just say cagedmonkey got more than he bargained for hehe. I had unlocked him for the long weekend so that I could play with him and use him however and whenever I wanted. So that night as we were refilling our drinks in the kitchen hubby started rubbing himself against my ass and slid his hands around me to hold and squeeze my boobs. He was behind me naked and started simulating fucking me from behind. I reached back, slid my panties down in back and positioned his cock at my incredibly horny pussy and pushed back onto him. He gasped and moaned from being slid into my hot tight pussy which he’d been denied from for days. I told him, “fuck me” and he put one hand on my shoulder, bent me over the counter and started fucking me nice and hard. He was going to cum so he started to slow and I wasn’t having any of that. I told him, “No! Don’t stop!” He said, “I have to unless you want me to cum.” I reached back and grabbed his hip and pulled him into me. He was hesitating, worried he’d cum without permission, I’m sure. I started pushing back onto him fucking myself with his huge hard cock and gave him the instruction to “fuck me hard and cum deep in my pussy and fill me up.” That’s exactly what he did and damn did it feel so fucking good. It actually left my pussy quivering and aching for more. Mmmmm so nice!

I did realize this morning that it has been quite a few days that I have gone without an orgasm. How is that possible? Actually with all the stress of moving and being so busy with regular everyday life and packing on top of that… I haven’t felt all that horny for an orgasm. I do hope that once we move I’m going to get my horny level back to where my pussy is a dripping wet horny mess everyday.

Good Morning Pussy

Posted by Lady M on August 19, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 comments

I’ve gotta say, being woken up by my handsome guy spreading my legs and feeling his warm wet tongue slide between my pussy lips really is amazing. To feel so wanted that he has to just taste me and please me even if I’m sleeping.

Ya know, up until about a year ago I would have gotten so pissed and/or pushed cagedmonkey away had he ever tried doing something like that. As a matter of fact it’s something he does a couple mornings a week or in the middle of the night when he’s home from work… again, up until last summer this would have really irritated me.

It’s little blessings like these that make me incredibly grateful that we worked so hard at repairing our marriage and our intimate relationship. We work everyday at continuing to repair and renew our emotional and physical relationship. I really believe that because we have done the work to have what we now have is why chastity and our WLM work so well.