pain

All posts tagged pain

My Lady has already shared her account of the intense pegging she gave me the other night. I won’t go into too much detail of what happened, as she has already done that (and I was also mighty drunk, as well). I do want to talk about what I experienced during the scene – how it felt and what was going through my mind. This is much easier to remember, as having a a big thick rubber dildo shoved into your ass until you can’t help but scream tends to sober you up pretty quickly.

After heading to bed after our drinking date, My Lady told me to get up on my hands and knees – assume the position, as it were. The alcohol made me very obiedient, and I followed her instruction right away. I knew what was coming, as ML and I had talked about this for a week or two before this; it’s not like she surprised me with it or anything.

ML started my anal abuse with Blue, a toy she sometimes uses near the end of our pegging scenes (if at all). God, when she uses this on me, it feels like I’m being invaded by a big bulbous head… probably because that’s exactly what’s going on. It’s always a struggle for me to relax enough to get that huge head past the tight ring of my asshole. Once it’s in, it’s not all that terrible, except for the fact that I can feel the thick round tip plowing back and forth inside me. It’s an intense experience, and I feel completely out of control when ML begins to speed up and actually fuck me with it at a good pace. I’m pretty much forced to give myself over to whatever is happening inside my ass.

A weird thing happens when ML pegs me – I very often have no clue which toy she is using unless I see it before she starts. In this case, I had no idea which toys she was using (even when she started using Mr. O, which I will get to in a little bit). Perhaps the alcohol had a little something to do with it, but not likely; this is something that I’ve experienced before. I usually end up thinking she is using a bigger toy than she is, and I don’t reall think you can blame me. Everything feels bigger when it’s buried deep in your ass… or so I’ve heard.

This time, after ML started fucking me pretty hard with Blue, I couldn’t even really think about which toy she was using. The only thing I could think about was praying that ML would be finished with me quickly. That ended up being far from the case. Each time I felt that I was able to adjust and handle the rough ass fucking she was putting me through, ML would thrust faster and deeper. I was constantly whimpering, begging her to please stop, to please be done with me. At some point, she reached underneath me and began stroking my hard throbbing cock (???), and I started alternating between moaning and asking her to let me cum and pleading with her to stop fucking my ass. My Lady fulfilled neither of these requests.

The one thing My Lady did fill was my ass with an even bigger dildo – Mr. O (side note: My Lady forgot to mention another reason Mr. O got its name – back when we were searching for a good strap on for me to fuck ML with while caged, Mr. O was the only toy that could give her a nice good “O”). I had never been formally introduced to Mr. O, and knowing the mood that ML was already in, I knew it wasn’t going to be gentle. The tapered shape helped with the pain of the initial insertion, but as you can clearly see from the link above, Mr. O gets much thicker much quicker.

Mr. O gave a totally different feeling than Blue – while Blue felt more invasive and intruding, Mr. O simply stretched my ass wide. And it fucking hurt. I couldn’t hold back and I screamed into the pillow as ML pushed it further inside me. She was thrusting hard, and after a few moments I didn’t even have the ability to beg for mercy any more. I hit what seemed like a combination of subspace and pure pain, where I went from sobbing into the pillow to simply enduring the torture and back again. I wasn’t tied down, but I couldn’t move. I lost time, it felt like it was going on forever and that time was standing still all at once. I was just there, being treated like a raw fuck hole by the woman I love.

I felt the first bulge on Mr. O’s shaft push into my ass, and my mind snapped back to the moment. I began frantically screaming for ML to stop, and I started to cry with my face pressed into the mattress. I asked for exactly this. I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that I was actually being raped; I wanted it to stop more than anything. But My Lady kept going, pushing the dildo harder and deeper into my abused asshole.

The second bulge forced its way in my ass, and I felt ML bearing down even more, determined to make me take it all. She leaned in hard on me, and suddenly I felt a sharp pain inside me. I tried to adjust to it and endure it, but I couldn’t. Then I tried to just let it wash over me, but it only got worse. It felt like the dildo was about to tear me apart inside. I couldn’t take it any longer, and I used my safeword.

My wonderful loving wife, after hearing me resort to using my safeword, immediately began taking me down. She removed the dildo from my ass (calmly and gently, thankfully) and held me tightly and assured me that it was over and everything was okay. It felt wonderful for her to react so quickly to my SW, but I had the strangest reaction – I was telling ML that it was okay, also. I wasn’t really thinking, but my instinct was to make sure ML knew that what she did to me, deep down, was a good thing.

As usual, after I experience a good hard pegging, I was feeling extremely subby to ML. I serviced her in my favorite way by licking her pussy, which was totally soaked after dominating my so completely. After a few orgasms, both ML and I were completely exhausted. We fell asleep in each other’s loving arms, safe and secure with each other.

Amazingly, my asshole itself didn’t hurt too much the morning after. I thought I’d be sore and hurting after the the treatment I received, but thankfully ML used a ton of lube. I did, however, feel a soreness deep inside my hips from the deep and thorough fucking ML gave me. It wasn’t a bad hurt though, it was similar to the way your muscles ache after a good workout.

I never thought I’d be able to fully live out my rape fantasy, but My Lady made that happen. As much pain and suffering I went through, I never felt scared or unsafe with ML. I knew that no matter what happened, she truly loves me and would take care of me. She gave me a painful ass fuck out of love. 🙂

After all is said and done, I didn’t fully hate it. I am amazed at how fully used ML made me feel, and that depravity is definitely a turn on for me (I’m actually getting hard writing this st the moment). I really did hate it in the moment, but I can’t deny that I love that it happened. Part of me wonders exactly what it looked like to watch me be pushed so far; maybe next time I’ll suggest that ML get it on video. 🙂 in all seriousness, I don’t think I’ll be ready for a repeat of this after quite some time… but it’s definitely something I’d be willing to experience again.

I’m currently well into my third week of orgasm denial, and My Lady is really starting to hit her stride. The more desperate and needy I get, the more she enjoys teasing me. And the more she teases me, the more desperate and needy I get. And the more desperate and needy I get…

ML gave me a thorough teasing last night, testing the strength of the Revenge in the process (stay tuned for a device review, coming soon!). She cuffed my hands to the bed, which she said made her start getting wetter almost instantly. She really does love to restrain me! It gives her the opportunity to completely control me as she drives me crazy with need. With my hands secured, she began to tease me with her perfect tits, pulling in close to me but keeping her cleavage just out reach of my tongue. I could smell her scent and it drove me wild. She rubbed her nipples over my lips, making it clear I was NOT allowed to lick or suck them. She even stuck her nipples into my mouth, making me moan and wish she would let me suck on them.

She got off of me and reached into our “toybox” to get the nipple clamps. She put them on my nipples, and I had to breathe to fight past the initial sharp pain. When she tugged on the chain lightly, I could feel the surges of pain translating into pulses of an attempted erection in my cock. I was already throbbing in my cage, and ML wasn’t even near finished with me.

She took her magic wand – which is ALWAYS plugged in now, by the way – placed it under my balls, and turned it on. My body jumped and lurched as the vibrations shook me to the core. I couldn’t help but move my hips in small fucking motions, my body desperately searching for some sort of orgasm after being denied for so long. The vibrating continued as ML climbed on top of me to put those hip motions to good use.

My Lady took the cage inside her and began fucking her pussy with it. I couldn’t believe it – I couldn’t feel a thing! I had to ask her if I was inside! The steel tube of the Revenge cut off all sensation and contact with my cock. It was so unfair to watch ML take her orgasm after all of the ones she’s been having lately, while I was denied even the pleasure of feeling her warm wet pussy on my cock. I whimpered and began to pull my hands up, wanting to touch her, squeeze her tits, hold her close to me, get ANY sensation I could to fill the void that the Revenge created.

When My Lady came while riding me, my body tried as hard as it could to join her. Obviously, without any sensation on my cock the efforts were futile, but my muscles still tensed up and my hips lurched upwards as if the rest of my body didn’t care. My body needs to cum so badly that it is trying to do so on it’s own now, apparently. 🙂

After her orgasm, My Lady climbed off of me and began to massage my entire body, focusing on my legs and feet. Her fingers pressed deep on my muscles, and my body responded with more of the tense squeezing as before. I would have curled up into a ball if I wasn’t spread out and cuffed to the bed. Instead, my arms tugged against the restraints as the rest of my body trembled and shook uncontrollably.

Finally, ML removed the wand from under my balls. I breathed a sigh of relief, but then I realized what she was doing. I moaned loudly as she laid back next to me, spread her legs wide (draping one over my stomach, even) and began rubbing her pussy with the wand. She moaned louder and louder as I heard the sounds of her wetness being vibrated by the wand. Then, she took the wand and pushed the vibrating head into her pussy! “Oh, fuck,” was all I could say as she fucked the wand, moving her hips up to meet it in mid-thrust. Then she began alternating between rubbing her pussy lips and clit with the wand, until she began to cum, loudly and intensely.

I’m not kidding, My Lady rode her orgasm for about two solid minutes before she slumped down and relaxed on the bed. The entire time she was struggling to hold back her screams of passion (barely succeeding), and I could see her thigh muscles pulsing and tensing up with each orgasmic jolt. I was equal parts happy for her and jealous, wanting a body-racking intense orgasm of my own to enjoy.

That feeling has been creeping up a lot lately – envy. I’m envious of My Lady for being able to cum at any and all times of the day, whenever she desires, and as intensely as she does as well. She gets more than her fill of it, while my body sits and waits for its chance. I hunger for my orgasm. My balls constantly feel swollen and sensitive, itching for the chance to drain themselves of weeks of backed up cum. These feelings force me to contemplate my denied state every minute of the day without one moment of reprieve. I don’t see how this feeling could get any more difficult for me to deal with than it is right now.

The reaction I had while tied up and teased has been more and more frequent – I call them “bodygasms,” although the more proper term is most likely “sympathetic orgasms.”  It’s really crazy, feeling my body behave like in that way and having no power to control or stop it. I can only assume that my brain and the rest of my body is tired of waiting and is making it’s own “body-gasms” and leaving my cock behind. I can’t blame them; I’d cum any way I could right now if it were plausible.

I write this blog based on our experiences, feelings and general knowledge. I’m not a professional nor do I claim to be an expert. I do know that there are some feelings and emotions in this lifestyle that are pretty common. You don’t have to be a Domme or a Keyholder, all you have to be is a partner to someone who has fantasies.
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In our contract, cagedmonkey and I are both required to share any and all fantasies with each other. No matter how crazy, absurd or off the wall they may seem. We are also required to listen to each others fantasies without judgement and with open-mindedness (is that a word?). There are two ways we can respond to fantasies, enthusiastically: “Ooo, damn baby that sounds great I want to try that!” Or accepting: “well, that’s interesting. I don’t think that’s something I’d be into, at least not right now but it is interesting.” This is when we can ask questions, see what the reasoning is behind the fantasy, spanking? humiliation? pain? etc and maybe see if there is even some aspect of it we might like to explore.

One thing someone can start to feel, when hearing your partners fantasies, is responsible. We instantly feel like we HAVE to fulfill said fantasies. We start to feel intimidated by the fantasies thinking we will never measure up. Well I’m here to set the record straight… just because someone has a fantasy does not mean it needs to be fulfilled or that they even want it fulfilled. Not everything can be done but the thought of some things is enough to get a guy to struggle against those cage bars! 🙂

There are several ways to handle a fantasy. Some are like, “Woohoo! I want to do that right now!” Others are like, “well, let’s look in to how to do that right but it sounds awesome so let’s explore.” Some might be like, “I’m not sure I’m into all of that but I did like __________ and I would love to try that part.” And still others are like, “Holy shit you cray cray in the hay hay!” Those fantasies may be better off left as a fantasy inside your nutty little head. Haha however that’s not to say those “head fantasies” cannot be used later to mindfuck your partner.

My point in all of this (mostly to the newer Keyholder or partner in charge) is to remind everyone that we are not at all responsible for fulfilling fantasies. We certainly can, and will I’m sure, but it is in no way a requirement of any relationship. They can be just as fun fulfilled as they are talked about.

So now… what are your fantasies? I’m putting out a request, I’d love to hear one of your favorite fantasies that has been fulfilled, that you wish was fulfilled or that is just a really hot thought in your head.

Please leave a comment or send us an email! 🙂