wife led marriage

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The Art of Eating Pussy

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 22, 2014
Posted in: Advice, Female Led Relationship, Marriage, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

I usually don’t work in absolutes, but I’m going to drop one on you right now only because it’s 100% true: every man should learn how to eat pussy. Period. Chastity or not, it’s one of the greatest and most generous things you can do for your lover. I always enjoyed it, way before the FLR/chastity lifestyle with My Lady began to form. For me, it’s such a turn on to know I can satisfy my wife with just my tongue (or fingers, should the desire arise). And now that I am in chastity, my pussy eating skills are all that more important!

It is very easy to enjoy licking My Lady’s pussy, simply because her pussy is DELICIOUS. Her taste and smell turn me on so much that I cannot get enough of it. I can (and have) eaten her pussy for as long as she will let me… 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour… it’s like an all you can eat buffet for me! I love the way she reacts to my tongue, gradually moaning more and more, louder and louder, until I push her over the edge of orgasm and she explodes. I don’t mind getting her gooey pussy juices all over my chin, or even the occasion squirt on my face… I wear it like a badge of honor. 🙂

I was always pretty good at oral sex; I have a strong, agile tongue that can handle lots of work. I’m also very dedicated to pleasing ML. But the most important aspect of my pussy eating prowess is the fact that I LOVE doing it! Naturally, you are going to be better at doing something you like. Speaking of: to those guys out there who don’t like eating pussy… what the fuck is wrong with you? REAL MEN EAT PUSSY. Give up your hang ups and just do it. Otherwise, some guy who likes doing it is going to do it better than you and steal your woman. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! 😉

So, as I was saying… I’m pretty good at eating ML’s pussy. But just like anything else, there is always room for improvement. So I ended up reading through She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman to see if I could learn a few tricks. And learn a few tricks, I did! I learned how to control the amount of pleasure I give My Lady, holding back at times to build tension: for example – pressing my tongue firmly on her clit and holding still; after a few seconds, she very often starts asking (begging?) me to make her cum. That’s when I unleash on her to release that stored up tension, flicking her clit quickly with my tongue until she cums good and hard. Using this rhythm, I can draw out the pussy licking over a much longer amount of time, pleasing ML almost endlessly, instead of just going right for it, making her cum hard, and draining her of energy.

I highly recommend this book, for beginners or for so-called “experts.” Everyone can get something out of it. Thanks to this book, I can now make My Lady buck and bounce all over the bed while I’m eating her pussy. I sometimes have to hold her down just so she doesn’t push me off of her with her hips. And the noises she makes… let’s just say I need to be really careful about when I lick her pussy, so I don’t end up waking up the kids, or any of the neighbors! 😉

Eating pussy is an excellent tool for a man to please his woman, and I feel that every man should learn how to do it well. It’s wonderful foreplay, a great way to turn your partner on. And for those of us in chastity – where foreplay is pretty much the only sex we are allowed to have – it is an essential skill for pleasing your keyholder.

He Makes Plans in a Wife Led Marriage?

Posted by Lady M on February 6, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Marriage, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

It’s funny to say that cagedmonkey planned a getaway for Valentine’s Day when we live a Wife Led Marriage. So how does it work when a husband wants to do something like that for his Lady in charge? Here’s how it goes for our WLM, perhaps others are different.

This year hubby and I are on a mission to create new memories, good memories and wonderful feelings around those certain times of the year that have been difficult in the past. I’ll admit I was a bit down about Valentine’s Day and didn’t want to plan anything but hubby asked that I give it a chance. I’m willing to do that because this is all about renewing and repairing and the past needs to stay just that. So I’m excited about creating new feelings with my wonderful, amazing guy. The difference here is that I didn’t want to be the one planning something to create those good feelings so I handed that over to hubby to figure out a nice time for us.

So the other day cagedmonkey came to me and asked how I felt about the kids having an overnight babysitter. This is something we’ve never done, not even when visiting grandma’s or anything. The kids have only recently started having a babysitter at all. So we talked a bit and I told him that I thought I was ready for it and that for us, our marriage we need to be able to do these things. With an overnight sitter comes working out our daughters medical needs and scheduling things and teaching the sitter what needs to be done in an emergency. No biggie though, I can handle that!

Anyway, hubby told me of the plans he thought of to make our Valentine’s Day a memorable one. He planned a getaway for the night to the same casino where we spent our anniversary day last month. Now when I say “planned” that means he told me what he wanted – an overnight babysitter, a night in the hotel, dinner, drinks, gambling and a night filled with loud orgasms. It then becomes my job as the Lady in charge to make it happen if it’s possible.

So I did just that, I first talked to the babysitter to see if her mom would allow her to do an overnight job and she’s ok with that if they go to their house. I’m perfectly fine with that myself, since our babysitter is our Pastor’s daughter and the kids will be in a loving, safe environment and will go to church with them the next morning! Woot, bonus! 🙂 After that was set I called up and made reservations for a room and dinner package at the casino hotel and we’re all set now to enjoy an overnight getaway for Valentine’s Day that cagedmonkey planned.

So in our Wife Led Marriage, hubby can certainly plan something like this to surprise me but I’m still in control of the financial and logistic sides of it! I love how we just work this way… to me, this is my idea of a surprise, a wonderful surprise and he knows that. I’m not one for having no control over a situation and really don’t do well with traditional surprises like that. I think he prefers to plan things this way and to not have to deal with talking to people, negotiating prices, dealing with credit cards and figuring out which money needs to go where and how much to cover everything. In our marriage it’s much easier to say what it is he wants to do and then I make it happen!

We hope that you and your love have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, chaste or otherwise.

I Can Do It One Handed

Posted by Lady M on January 13, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

I may have had shoulder surgery but that’s not exactly stopping me from A. Cumming or B. My WLM/Dominating. I will say that cagedmonkey is doing a fantastic job picking up my slack and doing the things I can’t. It started off rough and he didn’t think he could do it but I think he relaxed a bit and found that things don’t have to be perfect or exactly my way. When I ask that things get done, I just want them done. He’s been great about taking care of the kids and getting them to their activities. He’s been cooking most of the meals and even helps me bathe and get dressed. Like I said, he’s basically being my Super subby hubby! 🙂 I couldn’t be more proud of him, pleased with his service, his dedication and how hard he is working! Love this guy!

With all that said, I did mention that it sure isn’t stopping me from getting my orgasms and certainly isn’t getting him any. He had a little “free” time last week but has been back in his jail Bird and his next unlocking won’t be until January 18th. It’s not a definite orgasm day for him but I might give him a chance to cum at least. 😉

Today has been quite the subby day for him. He’s begging to do anything I ask of him. He is craving my direction and awaiting my orders. Aside from his chores, he was required to wear the njoy for a few hours today as well as service me right when I ask. I went upstairs to put away some clothes and had to call him up to help… he asked what I needed help with and I simply said “my pussy needs to be licked.” He immediately got on his knees and made me cum twice – and, to praise him, he even dealt with our daughters homeschool questions while doing it! 🙂 Awesome!

Is that service or what?

Tonight we have some celebrating to do in the midst of a very Dom/sub kinda day. We will be having some drinks tonight and having a while lot of kinky fun! 🙂

Mail Chastity – Questions from our inbox

Posted by Lady M on January 10, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

A gentlemen contacted us to ask some questions about our WLM & chastity and I thought I’d share incase others had similar questions.

“Is it just an at home lifestyle? Did is happen right away or did it build to a FLM?”
Our WLM is an everyday, all day thing… our relationship has always been one where I took care of everything – financially, phone calls, Dr appts, anything with the kids, etc. We do make big decisions together, where to live, buying a car and that kind of thing. Usually I have the final say in most things though.

“Is it D/s?”
Just so you know wlm & D/s don’t need to go together but yes part of our relationship is D/s. Our sexual relationship is fully D/s and it will only trickle into daily life if we talked about it specifically where my Dominance will be an entire day thing. Hope that makes sense.

“Did chastity come first? and did it contribute to this decision?”
Chastity most definitely didn’t come first. We’ve been flr since we met – I’m a control freak hehe. We had gotten to a bad place in our relationship, we worked hard to repair it and in the repairing made a promise to be honest and share every fantasy. Hubby brought up the chastity thing and, at first, I wasn’t into it. Part of our promise was to be open minded about fantasies so I started to research and found, after about 4 months, that I really loved the idea and that’s how the whole chastity thing began. 

“How did you get it to work?….. We tried it before and it only lasted a month. It seemed rushed and not natural”
Some people are not naturally dominant so to have a wlm they do need to work at it, take it slow, step by step. Once we realized what our relationship was and that chastity was to be a part of it we created an agreement. That’s been a huge help in getting things to go smoother and “work.” It’s still a work in progress and probably always will be. We will continue to go over our agreement to change things. We have added things, adjusted things and taken things out. It’s not a perfect science, there is no one way to do things… it’s what works for a particular couple and no two relationships will look the same.

Thanks for your questions and please feel free to email and ask anything you like. Most things are not too personal and we love the interaction.

How to hear from you!

I’m a Good Boy

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 9, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

As you may have read in an earlier post, My Lady recently had shoulder surgery that has left her with pretty much only one functional arm for the next few weeks. I’ve been waiting on her hand and foot (and toes!) for a couple of days now; it has been rough working so hard for her, but thing are settling into a groove. She is starting to feel better, as well as slowly returning to her “insatiably horny and wet all day every day” status. 🙂

Over the past few days, I have realized that I truly am at peace when I am serving ML. Sexual service is obviously more exciting, however serving her in non-sexual ways also gives me an energy from within. Most importantly,  I thrive on her feedback; it was rough going when she was in pain and feeling terrible, but it is getting better as her mood is improving. I live to hear those words “such a good boy” escape those sexy lips.

I have spent most of the past week unlocked, however I have still been denied an orgasm (still cum-less in 2014!). As ML’s physical comfort has allowed, I have been pleasing her with my tongue, hands, and also with my cock. She has mentioned on quite a few occasions that I feel exceptionally large this week. While I’m not the type to figure out exactly why I’m receiving these AWESOME comments – what guy doesn’t want to hear they have a huge cock? – it may be due to the fact that the frequency of penetrative sex has been less leading up to now. All bragging aside, I have somehow managed to hold myself off from cumming during this time. I can’t count how many times I’ve WANTED to shoot my load of cum deep in her wet warm pussy, but so far I’ve been that “good boy” that I strive to be.

What exactly makes some of us sub males so dedicated to our keyholders that we are willing to be SO committed to our chastity and orgasm denial? Why do some men need anti-pullout features on their chastity devices, while others can fuck their KH without going over the edge?

I can’t speak for everyone, but for me it’s that I am fully focused on My Lady’s pleasure. She gets off on the control she has over me, and I get off on her controlling me. I know that she would be extremely disappointed if I were to cum without permission (unless she forced me to, but that’s a different story). For me, it’s about giving My Lady what she desires. And what she desires is a man who will allow himself to be denied indefinitely until she wants to please him, and who will serve her every need until that moment occurs.

She wants a good boy. And I want that to be me. 🙂

Putting WLM to the Test

Posted by Lady M on January 6, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , . 6 comments

Tomorrow I’m headed in to have surgery to repair two tears in my rotator cuff – incase you don’t know I tore the tendons in my shoulder. It happens to be my right shoulder which is my dominant arm. After the surgery I’m going to be in a sling for 6 weeks but the first week I’m not allowed to do anything and apparently will be in some pain.

Cagedmonkey has taken some time off work to take care of me, the house and the kids. This will certainly put our WLM to the test. Cagedmonkey is going to have to take my direction, anticipate my needs and those of the kids. I’m also going to have to be ok with giving so much direction as well as being ok with asking for things.

Surprisingly enough, it’s very difficult for me to ask for help with things especially things I feel I should be doing myself. I’m really going to be depending on cagedmonkey for pretty much everything. He’s going to be cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids but on top of that he’ll be helping me get meds, get dressed, bathed, helping me get around, helping me get comfortable… like I said, everything. I do plan on working out wiping myself. 🙂 I don’t have any doubt that he can take care of things. I worry about my ability to let him! 🙂

Also to let our followers know, I write the most on the blog so it may be that we have less updates. Unless I can get cagedmonkey to get to writing while I’m unable. He does have some posts he wants to write so hopefully I can get him to put his feelings to paper, so to speak. I’ll try my best to keep you all updated so you don’t forget about us hehe.

I have no idea how much, if any, play will happen with my arm the way it will be so we’ll see if I have anything fun to post.

Life is a Journey, Not a Destination – Our FLR

Posted by Lady M on December 11, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 comments

When cagedmonkey and I first met, he knew from that moment I was a dominant person. I mean, how could he not know when he started talking to a chick with “Aggressive” as part of her screenname. From the very beginning of our relationship I’ve always been pretty much in control of everything. I’m talking everything from ordering in drive-thru to handling the finances and the household. No, when we were younger and got together and eventually married we had no clue what a Female Led Relationship or Wife Led Marriage was. Heck we’d never even heard of it until a few months ago when started really getting into Male Chastity.

You see, I’m the kind of person who researches the shit out of a subject that I’m interested in. So in my research about Male Chastity I found a book called How to set up an FLR by Mistress Ivey. Once I read through it I realized that all this time we’d had been living an FLR informally. It just naturally went that way. I, personally, think God is a pretty cool dude, he knows what he’s doing when he connects two souls! When looking back and thinking about things from the beginning, we worked so well because hubby was young and, in a way still needed to be taken care of. I was quite the person who needed to control everything and was a very “mothering” type person. We just went together and worked.

When they say opposites attract I fully agree! Hubby’s a very shy person, I’m a very outgoing person, hubby needs direction and guidance, I love to provide it. Like I said, it totally just worked. I’ve worked very hard over the past 14 years to build cagedmonkey’s confidence and life skills and he’s really become a wonderful man. Nobody’s perfect or ever can be but he’s totally grown into a strong, capable, supportive man and father.

No two Wife Led Marriages will ever look the same. Ours just is the way it is naturally, we didn’t force it or plan it or make it happen. The only difference now is that we finally understand it and recognize it for what it is. We are embracing the fact that these are our natural roles in our marriage and its where we are most comfortable.

No, I do not have a pet or slave who does not or can not think for himself. No, I’m not sitting on the couch eating Bon Bons barking orders at him and forcing him to serve me. It’s totally not like that at all. Our FLR or WLM is mostly wife led. Yes I handle the household, am a stay at home mom, homeschool one of our kids, handle finances, make appointments and pretty much all of the day to day running of the relationship. When it comes to big decisions we make those together and even some of the smaller ones sometimes. The way I describe it is that it’s not a monarchy, I am not a Queen (Off with their heads!) but usually cagedmonkey defers to me and/or I have the final say. 🙂 I like to think it’s because he trusts me and my experience in life to make the best decisions for our family.

I love that we’ve come to this place after all these years. It’s been quite a roller coaster of a journey getting here, but here we are. Sometimes I say, “if only we’d gotten here sooner…” or “if only that didn’t happen…” but then I realize, had this happened sooner or this or that not have happened we would never be where we are. This wouldn’t be a good place. We HAD to go through everything we’ve been through in our relationship to appreciate what we have now and what can become of it.

Conversations in Chastity: Getting Serious

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

cagedmonkey: We’ve found out so much about this lifestyle in such a short time. It really is amazing!!

Lady: It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure… but I’ve realized some things since our last go at your orgasm denial.

cm: What things, exactly?

Lady: Well, after this last time having you completely locked and even denying myself I kinda feel like I’ve tested out all that I need in this. I really just want to get on with it. I don’t want to set dates of when you will be locked or unlocked trying to reach some imaginary goal. I’m not going to worry about “oh I shouldn’t unlock him because I said 10 days in!” I’m going to do what I want, when I want, how I want but you will not orgasm… you will please me and I will use you to please myself but you will wait until you have permission to cum. I will see my cock hard & play with it when I want though. All other times you will be locked in your device.

cm: I was actually thinking the exact same thing! We’ve proven that I can safely wear the cage pretty much indefinitely without problems – indefinitely meaning however long you want, not forever (I hope!!!). We have also seen that I’m able to be trusted not to cum when I’m out of the cage, even when giving you the penetration that you crave. The only thing that I’m concerned about is the strength of your resolve. Will you be able to deny me even when I’m seriously trying my hardest to convince you to let me cum?

Lady: I’m pretty sure the denial part will be a piece of cake! The hardest part for me was feeling like I had to keep you locked up to enforce the denial. That’s not true so it should be easy enough, when I’m getting what I need and want, to keep you all crazy. You know I absolutely love when you’ve been reduced to a heaping, begging, desperate mess! Oh boy, it turns me on so much! Are you here with me in my desire to take more control over how I want to use the cage? This starting out thing has been not only about me but lots of worrying about you and what you feel or think and some caving to what I think you want. I’m ready for that to be over.

cm: I’m ready, too. I want it all to be you decision. If you want to tease me until I’m crying out for you to stop every night for a week, then so be it. If you want to keep me locked up constantly for three or even four weeks straight (or more!!!), then please do it. There will be times where I want it to end, where I just want out, or I just want to FUCKING CUM GOD DAMMIT. But what I truly want is to cum only when I’m allowed by you, my Keyholder.

Lady: Awww now that’s the perfect answer from my perfect boy! <3

Keyholder Motivation: Why Do We Keep Them Locked?

Posted by Lady M on November 30, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , . 2 comments

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It’s not always easy being a wife or girlfriend AND a Keyholder. When cagedmonkey first handed me the key to his chastity device, it was a bit of an emotional moment. First of all, it happen much before either one of us thought it would. Second, I felt a huge amount of trust from him but also a load of responsibility. I may have even gotten some tears in my eyes!

I know we haven’t been on this journey nearly as long as some but we have experienced our share of emotions. The first few times I had cagedmonkey locked I was very influenced by his whining and was very sensitive to him wanting out. We’ve had plenty of discussions now about how he desires me to be in control and not at all influenced by his begging. He wants every decision about his sexual needs and wants to be mine. Even if he is begging and crying to get out or cum, he wants me to only allow him out if I want him out. If I have a desire to see him get hard, to play with him or to even allow him to cum.

At first this was a very hard thing to really do. It’s not easy to grab a hold of the dominant role immediately when it’s handed over. It can take some time to fully grasp the power you can have over your man. I’m naturally a controlling person and enjoy the dominant role in life. I prefer knowing things will be done my way and to my satisfaction. Even though someone says “here, control me” you don’t really know until you are in it, living it, experiencing it how much control they really want you to have. You don’t really know what they will really do for you. It takes time to grow into being dominant over someone else and ultimately being their Keyholder.

Although it’s only been a sort time, I’ve settled into my role quite nicely. I no longer feel a need to release cagedmonkey because he’s whining or even because I see him wincing in pain from the cock straining so hard in his cage and pulling on his balls. Afterall, isn’t this what he asked for? He asked me to take control of every part of his sexual being. He asked to be locked up and controlled. Last night, is a prime example of how much I’ve changed and that he’s in a very rough spot. He was begging, whimpering and whining to cum. He was even begging (very hard) for a ruined, in-the-cage, orgasm! I just giggled because I think it’s so hot to hear him get like that. It really just causes my pussy to get sopping, drippy wet knowing I make him get like that. To hear him begging me, knowing I control any and everything about that beautiful locked up aching, needy cock.

The reality is, he’s getting everything he asked for… and a whole lot more! 😀