Marriage

99 Days Down and 4 Days To Go

Posted by Lady M on January 14, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a Comment

I don’t know if it’s just the fact that Sunday is the day I’m going to unlock cagedmonkey or what but I’m dying. I’m hating that I decided to put him in the Revenge for two weeks before our ceremony. I know, why don’t I just unlock him, right? Well, that’s simple, I made a promise to myself to keep him locked and not allow him the feeling of his penis until then. The thing is, I’m denying myself his penis too so I know waiting this two weeks is going to be fantastic! I am doing this on purpose and I really do love it very much.

That doesn’t mean I like it. In exploring this whole chastity thing, I’ve realized that I’m perfectly fine with orgasm denial and control but a permanent chastity type thing would never happen. I just can’t go that long without feeling his big cock stretching my pussy, sliding in and out, making love to me. We’ve tried many times to do a 24/7 lock and we get to 3 weeks and I’m ready to pull my fucking hair out. Even with the strap on, trying to get me past that point hasn’t worked. There is just nothing that can replace feeling the cock I love and adore. I love the way it looks, how it tastes and how it feels. I knew 15 years ago that first night we were together that his was the cock I wanted for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I’m just sitting here at the car dealership getting our car serviced and I’m fucking horny. I’m thinking about how bad I want to feel him, it actually gets me emotional thinking about it because it’s such a strong feeling of want and desire. I remember when we were having issues in our marriage, one of the things hubby needed from me was to know that I wanted and desired him. Once we worked on our marriage, we were able to communicate these things to each other. What that means is, now I don’t go a day without telling my hubby what I love about his looks, or about how horny I am, or how bad I want him.

I could get off topic and get on to a whole making sure you are giving your partner what they need to fulfill them emotionally… but I won’t because fuck I’m horny and I just want to feel his cock in me.

I’m really looking forward to the next two weeks. Being on vacation means a chastity vacation for us. It actually means sexually we will both have the power. There will be no orgasm denial, no chastity, no me in charge of his sex. However he does know I want to fuck him so much that I empty him of cum multiple times a day for two weeks haha. He’s looking forward to taking the opportunity to dominate me a little bit and I think we’re both looking forward to having sex on a balcony on the ocean! 🙂

I’ve got 4 days to go, 4 days until I recommit to the man I love with every part of me. I’ve got 4 days until I feel that loving touch and the strength in his body as we make love for the first time in two weeks.

Mail Chastity: Questions From a Potential Keyholder

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 2, 2015
Posted in: Advice, Female Led Relationship, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

A friend of My Lady – who doesn’t happen to know about this blog – was chatting with her about male chastity. How the subject came up without mention of the blog is a mystery, but she asked her a few questions that I thought it might be helpful to answer here. And if ML’s friend happens upon this blog, thanks for the post material!

ML’s friend wants to introduce male chastity into her marriage. She wanted to have an idea of what to expect from certain aspects of chastity. She writes:

Going months without an orgasm – is that healthy?

First, I’m going to be a stickler for terms. There is absolutely no danger for a male to go any amount of time without an orgasm. Ejaculation is a different story: there is some evidence that frequent ejaculation decreases the probability of prostate illness, however there is also evidence that regular ejaculations increase prostate disease. When it comes down to it, nobody really knows. If you are interested in the “better safe than sorry” approach, there are ways to have a male ejaculate without a full orgasm (milking, ruined orgasms, etc.).

What effect does that have on him?

Long story short, it makes him fucking horny as hell. The male body craves orgasm constantly – it goes back to the primal urge to reproduce. The longer he goes without an orgasm, the more he’ll need it. Over time, he will recognize his keyholder (that would be you) as the source of his pleasure, and he will develop a submissive instinct and try to keep you pleased as a result of this. Some people have said that the increase in intensity of this reaction tapers off after a few months. I call BS on that. 🙂 Thanks to ML’s constant teasing, I’m still feeling that need to cum grow and grow every day.

How does a keyholder stay stasified without sex?

There are ways for a man to satisfy his woman other than with his cock! Tongue, fingers… there are many options. The most important thing is to redefine your idea of “sex.” For ML and I, we end up having sex all day long – for us, those hugs and kisses and loving touches are all part of us having sex.

With that said, I understand the desire ML has for a nice hard cock deep in her pussy. When she wants this, we have toys that we can use to satisfy this need. But sometimes, she just needs to feel my flesh. In that case, she unlocks me and uses my cock but doesn’t allow me to cum.

There are plenty of ways for you to get yours without letting him get his. 🙂

Mail Chastity has become a very popular subject on the blog. We’ve gotten lots of questions, either through email or Twitter, and we plan on doing more of these posts in the future. We could always use more questions to answer, though, so don’t hesitate to ask us anything!

A New Year Ahead – Denied, Locked and Loved

Posted by Lady M on January 1, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , . 6 comments

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It’s been a fantastic year. We’ve accomplished some goals we set last year and even some we didn’t expect to. We have met some really great friends and hope to continue those friendships through this year and many more to come.

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I really don’t have some profound thing to say. As I said last year, New Year’s is just another day. This year cagedmonkey and I will both be writing down a few goals for the year and I look forward to sharing some of those with you all. We aren’t really resolution type people so basically we both said we are going to continue doing “whatever it takes not to screw this up.” We both remember what we have been through and what our marriage has been through and we are so happy to be on the other side. We love being in this happier, healthier place!

Thank you to all of our followers and lurking readers for all of your great comments, questions and even ideas throughout the year. It’s been so fun having you along on this exciting journey and exploration of our sexual selves. We hope to continue to share with you for years to come!

We wish you lots of love, happiness, safe play and locked up, denied genitals in 2015!

Healing the Past with Sexual Role Play

Posted by Lady M on December 24, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , , . 7 comments

My therapist and I talk about a lot of things, which happens to be the exact reason I go to therapy. 🙂 I’ve been with him for over 10yrs and he’s been a huge impact on my mental health and my marriage. He is well aware of the fetishes hubby and I are into (ok maybe not ALL of them) and it’s fun to analyze with him what part of us is healing when we do these things. I’m sure you can imagine how interesting our sessions can get.

Yes, I’m one of those people that thinks some (not all) of our fetishes touch on some experience from our childhood. Those might be good experiences or traumatic ones, either way sometimes the sexual things we participate in are addressing some emotions from our past. I was going to get all psychological and explain how role play and acting out certain scenarios works to help you heal from the past but, it was really just too much for one post. I encourage you to look it up if that interests you at all. I really do just love that stuff and maybe one day I’ll be come a kinky therapist like my doc keeps telling me I should. 🙂

Obviously, we all know I’m a control freak, I have some strong OCD tendencies and other fun psychological stuff I get to deal with. I know from lots of work that my out of control, unstable childhood has a lot to do with my need to control every situation I’m in and person I’m with. No, I’m not a crazy person out there trying to control every situation because I am a logical person and I have learned that I am in control of MY things. 🙂 Which is also why I enjoy having things to control.

In exploring our sexual desires and learning about these different kinks and fetishes, I’m finding I like some pretty intense things. I know I’ve written before, in a comment, about how I feel like choking hubby touches on that one specific time I choked my brother. I felt so powerful in that moment when I was able to get him pinned, it felt so incredible at a time when I was very powerless. Being able to recreate that with hubby by choking him (we’ve actually done some more play like this but don’t write about every single time), we’ve realized is huge for me emotionally and well, it’s turns me the fuck on like crazy!

Yesterday morning I had another crazy realization when I went in to visit hubby, saw his gorgeous perfect little ass, climbed up and rubbed my pussy on it until I came, twice. The reason I realized this was addressing something from childhood was because in the middle of it I muttered out, in loud a whisper, something about how I wished I’d have had him when I was a kid. I told him his ass was the perfect little hump toy. How it fit perfectly for me to rub on and use him to please myself. When I was younger and started exploring this whole masturbation thing I would use a folded pillow or whatever to rub on or hump or however you want to put it. I can remember feeling like I was the one in charge, making myself feel that way. I was the one in charge of giving myself that pleasure. Nothing ever worked just right and I was constantly adjusting and readjusting. However, cagedmonkey’s little ass really does just fit perfectly in my pelvis. I soaked his butt with my extra wet pussy from cumming twice. I made sure to move up his body rubbing my wetness from his butt, up his back, to his neck.

I had so many emotions flood me right at that moment. I love that I’m so comfortable with my husband and our sexual relationship that I can admit these types of things to him. I’m sure he only thinks I’m slightly weird haha. It did spark a fantastic Dom/sub role play conversation and we both are looking forward to exploring more of these types of childhood things.

You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me!

Posted by Lady M on December 22, 2014
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , , . 6 comments

So there I am drafting a great post on communication and how cagedmonkey and I just worked through a little issue of where he didn’t notice some old behavior creeping back in. We talked, I let him know how I felt and, Yay, better.

Well before writing said post I teased hubby a bit and told him to get himself nice and hard for me and keep himself that way… because I’d be in to use him soon… yeah, keep going baby… I’ll be right in, I promise… I’m almost done, I’ll be right there. Yeah, haha I made him keep stroking himself a bit before I headed down the hallway. About 1 minute into burying his big thick cock deep inside my pussy while on top I hear, “mama HELLLLLLLLLP!”
I loudly respond, dick inside me, “what do you need, honey?”
To which she says (with an echoish sound?), “mama please just come here…”
Fuck she’s in the bathroom, so I climb off cagedmonkey, thrown on whatever pants I grabbed off the floor, open the bedroom door to find my girl child had spilled her insides full of left over Chinese food from the living room, through the dining room, down the hallway and did manage to get some in the toilet too.

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I REALLY did try to clean it up but gagged so bad doing it, I pissed my own pants hahahaha. Yup, I’m that awesome! So instead of napping, my super hero of a hubby was on his hands and knees cleaning our childs puke out of the carpet while I was changing my pants.

I’m pretty sure that diffused any amount of horny we had today… but then again, the day is only half over.

At Least I Wasn’t Naked

Posted by Lady M on December 16, 2014
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage. Tagged: , , . 3 comments

I feel so very rushed this morning. I hate that, because normally I’m the completely prepared one with the lists and schedules and order in all I do. Not today though, I forgot to set the alarm, so instead I was woken up by a six year old handsome face asking if it was ok for him to wake up now. I looked at the clock and leapt out of bed because it was already time for him to be getting on the bus. Crap! Late for the bus means shoving something to eat in his face while throwing together a completely unhealthy lunch, sticking my naked feet in my boots with my pajamas on and driving him to school so he’s there on time.

Thank God I wasn’t naked describes it well, because flying out of bed like a crazy woman boobs flying would not have been a good thing haha. Usually when hubby is home for the night and sleeping in the same bed I’m so eager to sleep naked with him. I love feeling his skin against mine, it’s so sensual and feels so perfect against mine. It’s one of the most comforting places in the world.

If you read my last post you can tell that obviously life got in the way, which tends to happen more often than not, and things didn’t go as I’d hoped. It’s ok, I’m not devastated because I was needed. My sweet little guy was up hacking a lung almost all night so I was in and out of his room trying to help him. His stupid coughing made him throw up and really it was just a big fat turn off. So, as Tom Allen says to me often, kids are the ultimate arousal destroyer. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, I would die for them and I don’t blame them or get angry when my dreams for a hot sexy night don’t go as I hope.

I know we will have other nights, so many nights. We are not in a rush and not heading for a finish line. We enjoy this everyday, all day and will continue to for as long as we like. I hope that’s a long time because I do love it so very much. I love having my hubby locked up in his steel cage, horny and aching for me in every way. Is there really anything better than being completely and utterly desired, ladies?

A Long Time Ago, in a D/s Relationship Far Far Away…

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 8, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 2 comments

As ML was riding my cock the other day, I couldn’t help but think: GOD, I WANNA CUM SO BAD.

No, that wasn’t it. Well, it was, but that wasn’t all of it. There’s a point to this post, other than the fact that I’m desperate for an orgasm.

ML was riding me in this special way, where we both say she does it “like a guy.” My legs end up spread and her legs are together between mine, and she grinds herself down on my cock. It’s one of her favorite ways to ride me, and she’s done it that way ever since the first time we were together.

As she rubbed her pussy up and down my throbbing cock, I started to think back on our relationship.

ML and I were always horny as fuck for each other from the very start. There was this one time where I spent literally all day eating her pussy in order to see how many orgasms I could give her in a day (the answer, by the way, was 37). That was part of an entire weekend we spent in a room together, pretty much fucking in some sense for every moment possible, making the whole room smell like sex in the process.

We were no strangers to kink. We dabbled in some bondage as well as some tease and denial. And through it all, ML was always the dominant one. It was natural, it was fun, and it was good. We had damn good fucking sex.

Now, our sex life has evolved into where we are today. Chastity wasn’t just a natural extension of our kinkiness, it was almost inevitable. ML was always the aggressive one, she was the one in control. I was always submissive, the one willing to serve. Chastity just makes our roles that much more defined. Orgasm denial makes our experience that much more intense.

Objectification

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 23, 2014
Posted in: Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

The word comes with such a negative connotation attached – objectification. You know what they say: Sexual attraction is superficial, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Love is emotional, it doesn’t require physical chemistry.

With all due respect to whoever agrees with this… are you fucking crazy?

Before we even began living our current chastity lifestyle, My Lady and I made a decision to take steps to improve our marriage. One of those steps included acknowledging that it’s okay for us to be hot and horny for each other. We both agreed that physical intimacy is pretty much a requirement in a healthy marriage, not just a fringe benefit. As part of this acknowledgement, we realized that it’s okay for each of us to see the other as what most people wold consider calling “sex objects.” I’ll explain.

I love my wife with all my heart. She is a wonderful, beautiful person who just gets me on an unspoken emotional and spiritual level. Having her in my life has allowed me to grow in ways I never thought I could. She is the best mother I could ever hope my children would have, and she does the most amazing things for my family.

With all of that said… she has a great set of tits and a sexy fucking ass that makes me drool. 🙂

But here’s my point – the fact that I check out her ass every time she leaves the room, or fantasize about fucking her huge titties whenever I see her cleavage, doesn’t take away from the fact that I love her soul. It only enhances it. It’s not like I have a certain amount of “love points” that I have to distribute between caring for my wife as a person and wanting to pound her pussy until she can’t walk straight. It’s another dimension of my love for her.

The reason I bring this up is that I had to remind ML about this the other day. We’ve been going through an awesome emotional connection time lately, where everything just feels perfect. We can feel the energy between us even when we are just sitting in the same room together. But I noticed that over the last few days, ML seemed to be over-accentuating our emotional connection. I asked her why that was.

She responded by telling me that she was having strong fantasies about tying me up and teasing me, feeling my cock struggle in the cage, and control me sexually in every way. Um…. so what’s the problem? (Hehe). She was trying to balance out those feelings of objectifying me with emotional rationalization. She explained it best with this text message, after I asked her why she wasn’t telling me about these thoughts:

Sometimes I feel like that’s all I’m telling you.. it’s true but I don’t want you to feel like I’m objectifying you constantly.

That’s so sweet of her. 🙂

The thing is, though, that I enjoy being objectified by her. Not all the time of course… I do need emotional support from my wife, as well. But it makes me feel good to know that sometimes she just can’t help but get turned on when thinking off me in a sexual way. In short, I like knowing that I make her pussy wet. [pic, for those of you who are into that sort of thing] 😉

I Asked For It

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 15, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 comments

My Lady has had some emotional troubles lately, as women have been known to do during that time of the month (AMMIRITE GUYS?!? *crickets*….. what?). She’s worried about doing the wrong thing and driving me away from her. Considering the staggering amount of loss she has had to deal with over the past six months, you can’t blame her for expecting it to continue. And it’s very important that I tell her this one thing:

Quit worrying about stupid shit. 🙂

Ok, calm down everyone, that’s a joke. I’m not that big of an ass. My point is that she doesn’t have to worry about doing something to push me away, because everything she does lately only brings us closer together.

Putting all the sexual stuff side (briefly; this isn’t going to be a 100% gooey emotional post, I promise), she is a wonderful wife and mother. She takes care of our family like nobody else could. She helps me feel better after a really bad day at work. She handles the kids so much better than I do. She really is the glue that holds us all together. I couldn’t ask for anything more from her.

Speaking of asking for things from her (now it’s time for the sexual stuff)… I know that, from time to time, she worries about whether or not she’s doing the right thing with our chastity/OD lifestyle. She’s afraid of me resenting her for withholding my orgasms from me. But when she locks my cock in a cage, teases me until I’m on the edge of tears, and doesn’t let me cum for weeks on end, it just gets me more hooked on her. I don’t get upset about it; I feel I should be thanking her instead!

You know, it’s funny how our brains are on the same wavelength so often. Just the other day, I was talking to someone about how happy I am with my life. I didn’t get into details because this person hasn’t been read in on the “secret lives” we live, but the feeling also applies to my sex life – it’s the best it has ever been, EVER.

Over a year ago, I asked ML for this life – for her to control my entire sexuality. I wanted this. And, to be honest, it’s been more amazing than I could ever fantasize about, because I’m living it with the woman I love. I love what she does, and I love that she gets off on it, too! Anything and everything she does makes me want her even more.

Ok, so this pretty much was a gooey emotional post, but I couldn’t help it. 🙂