cagedmonkey: You hear stories here and there about guys who are locked in chastity long term, how they get so frustrated that they break down in tears. Yeah, right, I thought. I might get a little desperate, but it’s not going to be so bad to make me start crying. Well, I must admit that I was wayyyyyyy wrong.
ML called an audible today and deviated from her “progression plan” and instead left me unlocked for a good portion of the day. No rest for the weary, however; she stopped me multiple times during the day and told me to go somewhere private and stroke myself for the four minutes that her plan called for, obviously no cumming but also no stopping during those four minutes. Sometimes she would come and watch me if the kids were occupied, otherwise I was on the honor system. I somehow managed to keep my honor intact throughout all of this, but it really frustrated me deeply.
My body just did not want to accept that, even though I was going through all of the familiar motions of masturbation that had been so habitual in the past, I would not be experiencing the slowly-becoming-unfamiliar climax. It was difficult to refrain from cheating. SERIOUSLY. I wanted to cum. I needed to cum. And I was doing the one thing that my body was so used to doing in order to cum. But I wasn’t going to cum.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If this happened once, it would have been bad enough. This happened at least six times during the day. I was a puddle of frustrated goo when ML instructed me to put the Jailbird back on. Once my cage was back on, she straddled me and began to rub her wet pussy against the imprisoned cock. She began to moan louder and louder, and I knew she was about to cum.
Then I completely lost it.
I began squirming and whimpering; it felt like she was taking my orgasm away from me (which was incorrect… she always owned it from the beginning). She leaned in close and asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t cum. I did the only thing I could do. I started to cry. ML looked down and saw me sobbing, and something must have flipped a switch inside her because she immediately stood up and SHOVED her soaked pussy into my face. She covered my whole face with her pussy lips. I continued to whimper and cry, only this time right into her pussy. Amazingly, this triggered a HUGE orgasm for ML; she humped against me even harder, looking into my troubled eyes and taking every ounce of pleasure I could hope for and used it for herself. I could feel myself breaking, and she was playing with the pieces and having the time of her life.
As she came down, she could see that I was really in trouble. She looked at me with love and tenderness, and she asked me the perfect question for the situation: she asked if I needed to use my safeword. She did care, she was concerned that I was okay. And I was SOOOOO tempted to use it. I even asked her to promise that if I said it that I could cum, and she agreed. But I didn’t use it – I wasn’t in danger, I wasn’t in unbearable pain, I wasn’t scared or any of the other reasons I told myself I would only use my safeword for. My torment was not to end tonight.
My Lady was wonderful. She held me tight for some sweet aftercare. Then, I suddenly got this urge, this unyielding urge to service her. I gently pushed her back and began to lick her pussy like a madman, rubbing my tongue and chin all over her dripping pussy. She moaned and writhed on the couch as she came hard, but I wasn’t done and neither was she. She took my hand and guided it to her pussy, and I slid two fingers deep inside her. She gasped as a wave of pleasure hit her. I used my fingers on her firmly, but not roughly, and extremely deep. After just a few seconds, she thrusted her hips as high as she could off the couch and let out a powerful grunt. She was cumming harder than I had ever seen her cum before, and it wasn’t stopping. Her hips met the couch again, but her body continues to shake as the massive orgasm plowed through her body. Her attempts to keep quiet began to fail as her moans grew louder and louder until they blended together into a high pitched squeal. My God, I was in heaven. If I couldn’t cum, at least I could experience taking a part of giving My Lady an orgasm that was more than big enough for the both of us.
When she finally collapsed into the couch, she was exhausted. We looked at each other with amazement. What the fuck??? Did ML just have the best orgasm of her life because she made me break down and cry in frustration? It was undeniable – she got off on my suffering.
It was an incredible night, like nothing I had ever experienced before. Maybe Day cannot get here fast enough. I am still in dire need of an orgasm. My suffering gets worse every day as My Lady enjoys the control she wields over it. This is what I asked for. This is what the fantasy of enforced chastity is all about. And I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Because I know when I finally am allowed to have an orgasm, it will not be a decision that My Lady will take lightly. I will be truly deserving of such a gift.
Read Part 2 of He Said, She Said: The Breaking Point to experience it from ML’s point of view!
Wow! This is staggering! And good for you that you were able to not use your safe word. How long have now been without an orgasm?
It’s been a VERY long two and a half months or so.
Oh it’s only been 76 days! You’ve ONLY got 10 left… till Maybe Day anyway, we’ll see what happens then 😀
By the time cm left for work… I believe the word he used was that he was still “rattled” 🙂
Wow, two incredibly hot posts right there… I shall be posting a recommendation to my readers to come visit your site!
Thanks Robert! We love reading your blog as well! 🙂
This is amazing. My heart goes out to you as I know this had to be sooooo hard for you but I am glad you worked through it. It is a beautiful thing when you can be so vulnerable and connected and share that together. I am glad you didn’t use your safeword though. You are very strong to keep surrendering to her control. Looking forward to what happens next. And LM I love how you comforted him and cared for him while he was so vulnerable. Great job as a wife and Dominant.
Marie, thank you for the compliment. It is so important that a sub or slave, even, know they are loved, cared for and respected.
I pushed him to that point – and got off on doing it hehe – but as his wife and Dominant his safety and well being are my responsibility. I’ll never give him a reason not to trust me or my love for him.
I’m so proud of him for hanging in there. I’m a very difficult Domme to handle… apparently! (I’ve broken more than just my hubby emotionally – had a couple potential trainees but they ran instead of trusting or even talking to me about it, oh well)
I couldn’t agree more. The relationship my David was in before me was very bad. He was beaten quite badly with no aftercare and just treated like a doormat and brainwashed too. I changed all of that and with me he knows a real M/s and how loving and caring a Mistress can be even if I am a strict one. He is my most cherished possession so I want him to feel safe and loved even while being used. It’s so important.
EXACTLY! I love how you said “I want him to feel safe and loved even while being used.” It is so very very important. Being such good dominant we could easily manipulate and cause real emotional damage. Any D/s or M/s relationship has to be built on trust, respect and care for each other.
<3
[i](…had a couple potential trainees but they ran instead of trusting or even talking to me about it, oh well)[/i]
Damn, it’s too bad Mrs. Twisted and I are so far away. Your reply to my previous comment got me a little wound up…exciting to think about, but, unfortunately, not likely to happen…
It is too bad Twisted! I could have so much fun 🙂
Perhaps it’s time to write out MY fantasy in a post! It might get you boys all kinds of tight in the cages!
Trust me, it certainly would 🙂
Thank you for the compliment. ML is excellent at providing me aftercare and showing me that she does care for me and want the best for me. She may put me through some very difficult trials, but because of the aftercare ML provides, I know that she understands how difficult it is for me. She sympathizes with me, but she’s not going to let me get off easy (pun intended?). She’s going to make me earn it.
How great is that? 🙂
What beautiful torture you must endure! Such an emotional post too – wonderful. Can feel the intensity from my tiny corner of the UK… 🙂
Thank you fir the sweet words! 🙂 everything we post on this blog is real and I hope that others feel that as they come through for a visit.
🙂 Well, this particular (extremely jealous) pervy chick definitely feels it! Mmmm! Keep up the amazing work!
*lick* Cava Supernova :)~
🙂 🙂 🙂 xxx
You don’t know me and I’m a relatively new follower. I’ve been lurking around BDSM circles for a few years now and I want to both applaud you and voice some concerns that my read of this raised.
There should never, ever, be shame in using a safeword, or asking that the “play” stop, be it for a scene, or for a relationship. If something is distressing and damaging on a real level, then there is no loss of face to stay “stop, I need time to figure out how I feel” or “stop, I need this to end.”
Likewise, I’m very hesitant to put praise on someone for not using it. I can see where it could be seen as a sign of trust but that is also where deep thinking needs to occur as to exactly ~why~ a safeword wasn’t used. Was it because it wasn’t needed (good) or because the submissive feared for the consequence of using it (bad)?
My primary thought is this: Intense emotional feelings from Dom/sub play/life can be found over and over again. But it only takes once, one time, one miscue, one misread, one misread sign, and permanent damage is done. Relationships are ended. Trust is violated.
I can’t shake my own concerns that when the CM was moved to tears, LM first derived her own pleasure from his distress, and ~then~ saw to his comfort. I’m certain I’m reading this wrong, or that my newness to your blog shows in that the relationship you have is one where the Domme’s pleasure comes first, above all else. I believe the error must be on my part.
I wish you both well, regardless. Any couple able to find passion and kink after kids is clearly doing something ~right~ which is why my concerns hit me so hard when I read these two posts.
Thank you so much for your comment and perhaps cm will have his own thoughts but I’m going to quite simply say that everything we do/did is consensual. He gets off on being pushed to the brink and then being pushed further. He’s knows very well he can use his SW without judgement and has in the past. He knows I get off on hearing him whimper. Our communication is at a level where he has told me this is what he wants from me, his Wife/Domme… to be used, abused and disregarded. I just happen to enjoy what it does to him when I do.
However, he was probably fine and I’m the one who was starting to hurt emotionally seeing him that way, which is why I reminded him of his SW. I never want him to push himself too far because he’s trying to punish himself for something. I decide what he gets punished for and how that will happen.
Hope that helps and makes sense. It was all in the scene and never true abuse of power by me. 🙂 I cannot do that to the man I love.
I understand your concerns; I admit it might be a little worrying for someone to hear about how much ML loves to watch me suffer. But, due to our intensive communication, both of us know that every step of the way is consensual for both of us. ML knows that if she feels I can’t handle something she can call an end to it, and I know that if something is too intense for me I can safeword without fear of being ridiculed or penalized (and the rules are the same when the parties are reversed when we switch on those rare occasions).
The praise for not using my SW comes from the fact that ML knows that I want/need to be pushed, that I can take a lot more punishment than I think I can and it’s exciting to find that out. My personal rules for using my SW are that I only use it if I am in danger, if I don’t feel safe, or if I am in truly unbearable pain. If it’s a situation where I just *want* something to end, that’s not good enough. If I took the easy way out and safeworded at the first instant I wanted orgasm, I would have never gotten past a month! Not only would I be cheating ML out of the control I have submitted to, I would be cheating myself out of the amazing intense experience that chastity and orgasm denial has become.
You raise a very good point, however – a submissive needs to trust the dominant enough to be able to use the safeword and not be penalized for its use, and the dominant in turn needs to trust the submissive to use the safeword when needed. If either of those lines of trust are violated, the potential for injury (physical or emotional) is a real danger.
Thank you both for your candor, and your openmindedness to a different opinion. I meant no offense and in fact wrote partly just to express the impressions of someone new to your blog.
For good or ill, there is a Dom near us who has a favorite line: “What are you going to do? Use your safeword like a fake submissive?” For his play, the SW is something you beat out of a submissive, not something you respect. Having spent time consoling and counseling his broken “toys”, I hope my reaction is at least understandable.
What I’m learning as I explore this unique side to BDSM is that the fantasy and the reality so often collide that it is sometimes hard for the outside observer to know if all parties really are consenting to the level of “abuse” being doled out (quotations used because we know that it’s not true abuse if all parties give informed free consent). The lines are far more murky with this than with other activities within BDSM.
And I admit, I’m a soft hand when it comes to that. As I said, I would prefer to have to recreate a scene than to rebuild a relationship so I tend to be much more likely to back up and restart later than to push. That’s just me though.
We welcome and appreciate all opinions and other points of view. If everyone agreed with us it would be weird.
We are not experts, we merely share our real life activities, exploration and experience. And have a hell of a lot of fun doing it!