The other day, after I allowed cagedmonkey to cum, we had a chat about what I had planned going forward.
It’s amazing to think that we are coming up on 2 years that I’ve been fully controlling hubby’s orgasms and sexual pleasure. Our actual chastity device wearing didn’t begin until October 2013 but it was June of that year that he asked me to take full control. We’ve been into tease and orgasm denial our entire relationship – that’s over 15 years! – but never to the extent that we are now. It was much shorter before, hours, days and the longest we had ever give over the years was a month. Now we hardly blink if I’ve kept him denied of orgasm for 3 months.
This last period of denial (which was actually 106 days, I think) was the longest I’ve had him denied. Getting to 3 months was actually pretty easy once it got there though it was almost excruciating for me to go the next two weeks or so that I made it. I was aching to feel him cum inside me. To feel his body shudder as he had that first orgasm after being denied so long. I truly missed how it felt to have that with him. It’s one thing to have sex or make love and not have him explode into me and it’s completely another to share that amazing feeling as we are cumming together in the high of sexual pleasure.
So, I told cagedmonkey that I wanted to take a break. For a second he looked at me, very sad, thinking I wanted to stop chastity and orgasm denial altogether. That wasn’t it at all! I comforted my confused boy and explained that I wanted a break from “Maybe day” and from pushing him and myself to go longer and longer in his denial. This decision had nothing at all to do with his chastity. As a matter of fact, I love that and he will be without his device very rarely for probably the rest of our lives. 🙂
I don’t know if cagedmonkey is still confused about what I mean but I have had to explain a couple times. What I want is to control his orgasms, which I already do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have him out of his cage, fucking him every day, making him cum. It means I’m going to decide moment to moment if I want that or if I want to deny him. I could literally not feel it one minute and yet another be like, “oh fuck baby cum in me!” I guess it might depend on how physically turned on I am, how emotionally turned on I am our how deliciously evil I’m feeling.
That’s really where I’m at right now. I don’t want to have to deny him, I don’t want to have to make him cum. I want to just control it moment to moment and if I feel like denying him for a week or 3, so be it. I just don’t want the set periods of time right now. I need a break from constantly pushing further and further.
I think this will ultimately be fun but also I think it’s already a bit frustrating for him. Like I said I’m not sure if he thought taking a break from denial meant that he’d cum every time we had sex or that HE’D get to choose when. That’s not it at all, I’m not handing him back control of his sexual pleasure at all. I’m just liberating myself from set periods of time that I have to try to do or fear disappointing him or myself because I didn’t make it to the time frame I was hoping.
I’m going to enjoy this and, when will we set a time again? I have no idea but I’m sure it won’t be too long because I do love that build up of horny while getting that denial going, trust me! 🙂
This is our usual state of affairs. We tried setting dates, but if I want him to come, then he is going to come. It’s my choice. I would get annoyed that I was supposed to wait for a specific day or later so it didn’t work for me. Basically every day is Maybe Day around here.
We have played with setting a number of edges before he can come or a number of orgasms for me and that worked for us. That is also usually the way that I punish him if I need to. He feels the punishment but it is still fun for me. 🙂
Right, overall it IS maybe day every day here. I do enjoy pushing him though so we set like an ultimate Maybe day and if I decide in the middle of it to change my mind, I can. I just don’t even want that right now. I’m not changing much other than not giving him any certain time frame for anything (which is a challenge for him itself, he needs baselines for things to not get stressed).
Another great post. I know I’m repeating myself but I love how real and genuine it all seems. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your comment, repeat or not, we love getting them! 🙂
I love that you are changing this as this is how it really should be, you in full control with CM being clueless to know what your thoughts are on when he will cum. I think this is great because any day can be maybe day this way and he will never know. You could make him go longer than he has ever gone before and he will be clueless or you could let him cum when he least expects it. I think it could be an even bigger mindfuck for him to not know and not to have a date in his mind to strive towards. To me it surrenders more control when he really doesn’t know and only you know from moment to moment. Great move!
We (or rather Jalan) switch it up. Sometimes there’s a declared period of denial–usually with no promise of what happens after. It’s not her favorite for reasons mentioned above, it takes her choice away, too, for that period. It would harm the play for both of us if she didn’t hold to it.
More often, it’s in the moment. At any given time, she might decide I get an orgasm, a ruined orgasm, or nothing. Sometimes she wants me to come inside her.
Both of these do very different things to/for me and for her, both special in their way. Either I have no hope at all, or I’m constantly wondering, “Will this be the time?” The declared period is less common, but she likes the effects of both.
Hi guys
This is how Mistress R has always done it, it makes a lot of sense to me. Too much store is placed by longer and longer periods of chastity in my opinion. Better to take it moment by moment I think.
Rob