Male Chastity – Lock Him Up and Throw Away the Key

Posted by Lady M on March 11, 2017
Posted in: Advice, Chastity Device, D/s, FemDom, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

In Search of Intensity

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 9, 2017
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , . 1 comment

ML’s last post was about the search for balance. Recently, I’ve been wanting to search for something else: intensity.

Don’t get me wrong at all – our sex life is pretty damn intense as it is. In fact, ML and I often joke about how, when other guys say that they wish they could be as lucky as I am, that they might have second thoughts once they realize just how passionate My Lady is when it comes to dominating me. Sometimes it’s a miracle that I can handle it!

So, there’s no shortage of awesome sex in our household. But there are certain things that I miss, particularly about when we first started our “rekindling.” Some examples:

– squirting: ML’s ability to squirt is still pretty impressive, but there were times where ML’s pussy would squirt like a fountain and soak the seat of my car on our date nights.

– ML’s spontaneous orgasms: I remember making eye contact with ML from across the room and watching her as she made herself cum without touching her pussy or anything, just using her imagination to get herself off. I was so turned on by that… and jealous, too!

ML and I talked about these things the other night, and we realized that yes, those were very intense times for our relationship. Things were new, fun, and exciting… dare I say, could it be that things have gotten… STALE?

Okay, it’s not THAT bad… sex with ML is still pretty fucking amazing. But yeah, things are less intense than they were.

After some more talking (communication, people, it works, hehe), we realized what has changed: we aren’t doing the “little lovey” things we used to do. Things like leave each other tiny love notes here and there, the “non-sexual” hugs and kisses (that eventually lead to sex, but weren’t intended for that), and other tiny gestures that feed the emotional connection of our marriage.

You see, My Lady has an interesting mental/physical connection – when she feels emotionally in tune with me, she gets really really horny… and unbelievably wet. Like, seriously, it’s like a flood in her panties. And it’s this connection that leads to those intense moments. So, we’ve decided to try to bring those feelings and those moments back… not just for more squirting and orgasms-on-demand, but because our marriage and our love truly flourishes when we focus on those things.

Of course, those other pussy-related results would be great perks, as well. 🙂

Finding the Necessary Balance

Posted by Lady M on February 28, 2017
Posted in: Family, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , . 3 comments

Vanilla, Kinky, Marriage, Kids – It’s a balancing act. As you know we recently started going to some munches and getting together with new friends in our kinky world, not to mention we bought a new house and our kids activities all week after school and on weekends. Life has felt much like a whirlwind and slightly like trying to balance spinning plates on poles – I’ll have to admit I’m not that great at balancing. In the one who troops and falls UP the stairs lol. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the little behind the scenes things that need to happen in life to make things go smoothly. 

It’s really awesome having friends and we love getting together with them and going to munches but for a bit there I really felt like so much of my time was looking for ways to get rid of the kids for the night so we could go to munches or other kinky events. I started to feel like I was missing and losing out on the family time with my husband and kids that is so very important while they are this age. It felt like every weekend we were constantly running and doing something or going somewhere. 

In the midst of kids and life and going out and getting involved in all these new fun things our kinky play together has gotten lost… again balance! It’s been extremely hard to find time for family time, kinky time, vanilla hubby/wife time, friend time… all of it. I get feelings of inadequacy when I can’t make time for it all, when I can’t find the necessary balance to fit it all in. I’m sure people have noticed that I’ve pulled back a bit, I’m not as active as I was, I’m not as chatty as I was. I’m still struggling to find what I need to make it all work and, right now, I’m trying to focus on my family, my kids, buying this house and all the little things that come along with that and getting back my kinky time with cagedmonkey. I miss it… I miss the intense tease and denial and the playtime we would have. I miss being crazy horny for each other all the time. There are things I miss that we would do more consistently. We keep trying to get in rope trial time and just the different things we enjoy about our kink. It just feels like it is constantly getting set aside because there is something else that needs to come first… Like sleep, work, kids, whatever.

Anyway, just letting you all in to where I am and how I’ve been feeling. I’m working to pull those things together and find that balance and I know I will I just feel like I suck at it right now and I’m letting every one down. 

Teasing and Edging

Posted by Lady M on February 21, 2017
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

I’ve spent the last few days teasing, stroking, using and edging cagedmonkey’s achy cock. As you know I have told him that he won’t be cumming until we are in our new house!! Hehe

I’ve had a lot of fun having him unlocked, at night, the past few days. The night before last I think I stroked and edged him close to a hour. He went from wriggling around and moaning to pretty much passing out on me. It was actually such a great feeling that I was doing that to him. I was taking him to a place that he couldn’t escape from. Such an amazing amount of power to get someone to that point. At least that is how it feels to me. I really do love the power and control that I have over cagedmonkey sexually. It drives me, gives me passion and propose. 

I’m SO lucky to have him and that he enjoys the tease and denial and the level of intense control I have over his sexual bits! 

The Deal

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 5, 2017
Posted in: Family, Marriage, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 4 comments

So, My Lady and I are buying a house.

Trust me, we are surprised as to how quickly it happened, too!

ML and I have been “window shopping” for houses for a little while, fantasizing about setting up our own little playroom in an extra bedroom. But we weren’t getting all that deep into it just yet. We were eyeing a house here and there, but there weren’t many that were all that interesting… and the ones that were kept getting sold before we could even go and see them!

And so it went until yesterday, when we lined up a few houses to go see with our real estate agent. The first two were nothing special, but the last one we saw had that “feeling” to it – I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, “Yeah, I could totally live here.” On the way back home, ML and I decided to put an offer in on the house.

ML called our agent when we got in the door; she had bad news – the sellers had gotten an offer that morning and had already sent out a counter offer! I mean, seriously… does everyone just automatically want what we want?

So, missed out again, right?

Oh no… not this time.

ML and I decided that we wanted this house. So we said, “screw that ‘counter offer’ noise, we’re buying this house.” We called the real estate agent back and told her to put in an offer – hey, if it ain’t sold yet, it ain’t sold!

We knew it was a race against time – if the other buyer accepted the counter offer, it didn’t matter if we offered the moon. We weren’t going to get into a bidding war, however – if they countered our offer, we were ready to walk away. So we put our offer in, and waited…

… we waited about five minutes before we got a call back.

Offer accepted!

That wasn’t the only deal that went down yesterday: during our celebratory sex, I really wanted to cum. So ML said she’d allow me to, but my next orgasm would have to be in our new house. Of course, I took the deal.

According to our signed offer, closing is in 60 days…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 31, 2017
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

Last night, My Lady finally unlocked me after 30 days of 24/7 chastity. She also allowed me inside her pussy. She also allowed me to cum inside her.

What a relief!

I was a little bit nervous that, after a month of no erections, that it would be a little painful – in the past, I’ve been able to feel the skin on my cock stretching after such a long time without getting hard. It was only temporary, but it wasn’t very pleasant. But, thankfully, there was none of that this time around. The only problem was the issue of hairiness – I wasn’t able to shave everywhere with the cage on, so I have about a month of overgrowth down there. I didn’t get a chance to take care of it, because I was back in the cage this morning before leaving for work.

So, who knows… I may end up with another month of growth down there before I get a chance to shave… or more?

Thoughts From the Spankee

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 26, 2017
Posted in: Discipline, FemDom, Pictures, Spanking. Tagged: , , , , . 2 comments

My Lady has already shared her experience of our first “dungeon party” – there’s not much more for me to add, considering I only participated for a few minutes at most. It was my first time being caned, though, which was pretty intense.

It was really fun being at the party; ML and I had a great time. I must admit, though, that at first I felt really out of place there. I don’t have a lot of experience with “impact play” and most of the people there were pretty well versed in the scene… at the very least, they knew the names of all the implements.

I was enjoying watching the scenes at the party, but I was also starting to have feelings of inadequacy – I felt that I wasn’t able to take as much punishment as I should. The fact that I was only able to hang in there for a few short moments while others stayed in scenes for twenty minutes or more fed into these fears even more.

This has always been a big problem of mine: comparing myself to others even when there is no need to, and feeling as though I don’t measure up. I end up worrying about unimportant things and psyching myself out. Because, when it comes down to it, does it really matter if someone else can take a spanking for longer that I can?

I finally decided to think positively about my experience: I tried something new, something that ML really enjoyed, and I did my best to serve her. I was proud of myself for what I was able to do.

Then I saw the pics of my ass… and I realized that I actually did take a good beating. 🙂

Even though it was a small amount of time, apparently it was really intense – that pic of my reddened ass was pretty impressive! And those marks are still hanging around days after ML used the cane on me. Hell, even just being able to say “My Lady caned me” is something to be proud of, in my opinion!

It ended up being a great experience: ML really enjoyed the lasting marks she made, and I was able to feel the lingering soreness in my ass… which helped me remember and actually turned me on. I’m actually excited to try it again, to see if I can push myself just a little bit farther… maybe give My Lady a chance to give me a few more “memories” to enjoy.

A Little More than a Munch – Spanking the Monkey

Posted by Lady M on January 25, 2017
Posted in: Bondage, D/s, Discipline, FemDom, Pictures, Spanking. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

My Fate is “Sealed”

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 24, 2017
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , . 3 comments

It has been more than three weeks since I’ve had a full, unimpeded erection. I can’t recall how long my previous “longest 24/7 locked” was, but I’ve either passed it already or it’s pretty close. No matter trying to figure it out, though… it’s pretty clear that I’ll be setting a new record by a pretty good margin.

ML’s period started this morning, which pretty much takes sex off the table for at least a week. Unless ML decides to take pity on me, I probably won’t be unlocked until February at the earliest.

ML and I have tried extended lockups in the past, but her desire to have my hard cock inside her usually limits us to around 3 weeks (give or take a few days). We have tried strategies to go farther than that, such as using toys for penetration needs or using her cycle to get a week head start… but nothing helped us pushed past that imaginary 3 week limit. This time around, the timing ended up being perfect: starting the extended lockup with the new year ended up synching that time of peak need with her cycle perfectly. I don’t think we could have planned it better if we tried.

So it’s basically a given now that I will go at least the first month of 2017 without an erection (I’m setting a precedent for starting off the year being denied – orgasms last year, and now boners this year). The question is this: how will ML feel once her period is finished? Will her desire for penetration return quickly, or will it be another 3 weeks until the need is strong enough for her to remove my cage?

Extended Caging

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 20, 2017
Posted in: Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Pictures, Sex. Tagged: , , , . 5 comments

Assuming that My Lady doesn’t get the urge to unlock me later tonight (and there’s no reason to think that she will), tomorrow will make it 3 full weeks into 2017… three full weeks that I have been locked in the Jailbird, day and night. Three full weeks of my cock throbbing and struggling inside the bars of my chastity cage. Three full weeks of troubled sleep thanks to unattainable nighttime erections.

Three full weeks of nothing anywhere near this.

Three full weeks of realizing that I look pretty damn sexy with my cock locked in chastity.

The “longest lockup” benchmark for me is quickly approaching, and this time around it seems as though ML is perfectly content to let it continue. I, of course, am getting really desperate… but there is a not-so-small part of me that actually enjoys the idea of being driven even further insane by my need for a simple erection. In fact, I can’t deny or ignore the fact that my cock slowly fills my cage whenever I think about it.

Now, there is NO way I’d be able to handle being locked up over a span of multiple months. I really do need the freedom of getting hard and fucking ML (at least occasionally), and I know ML feels the same. I was actually surprised this time around that we’ve gone so long – two days ago was the first time ML and I didn’t have penetrative sex on our anniversary. As horrible as that sounds, though, it didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all.

This is who we are now. This is our love; this is our marriage – my wife keeps my cock locked in a steel chastity cage for as long as she wants, uses my cock for her pleasure, and teases and denies me orgasms until she wants me to experience that pleasure. It’s amazing, and it couldn’t be any more perfect for either of us. I need this, and My Lady needs it just as much. 

That doesn’t make waiting weeks for a full erection any easier, though.